I was molested as a kid. The details aren't important except

>>8654163
The next day I'm eating breakfast when the mail flap opens and shuts, I go to get the mail and I'm stunned when I see it's one of the pictures of me. I have to stop this.
That night I message him asking him what he wants from me, he just tells me to go to a nearby park and pick up the cellphone behind the trash can and wait. I did as he asked. I was so apprehensive of every person, every man could be him. Every stranger that approached made me nervous.
He was probably just watching me from somewhere, making sure I was alone.
After around an hour and a half the cellphone got a msg telling me to sit in the last stall in the bathroom. I did so, and as soon as I closed the stall door it was pushed open.

A large man wearing a ski mask filled the empty space, locking the door behind him.
He didn't say a word, just dropped his pants and pushed his dick in my face.
I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this. I tried to get up but he just put both his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back down.
I've been here before, that feeling of being powerless over where things are about to go.
My body sort of goes on autopilot for the duration of "it", but my mind is racing.
I had fantasized about sucking dick again for so long but this wasn't how I wanted it to be.
Or was it? What was I expecting this all to lead to? Wasn't this exactly what I was asking for with the shit I was doing?
Maybe it was a coping mechanism but I tricked myself into believing I deserved what was happening.

I was brought back into the moment by the feeling of his cock pushing against the back of my throat as his dick spasm'd. He pulled up his pants, laughed at my erection and left with the cellphone.
Later on I got a message from him saying "I had fun, looking forward to next week" and my stomach dropped.

>>8654163

Sorry to bump on your flow OP but what does this have to do with LGBT issues?

If it's meant to be a story of how you became gay, it's bloody annoying, I'm a gay male and was abused by a female relative for about 5 years, if it's for real I am extremely sorry for what you went through and sympathise but this is what happens when you associate yourself with shady characters, the fact that you didn't go to the police and say you had been groomed strikes me as either a) dumb, b) the actions of a rape fetishist or c) someone trying to make hot age gap yaoi bullshit from child abuse

~concerned anon

tldr

File: 1496825396621.png (83KB, 858x464px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 858x464px

>>8654163

>>8654308
Some people don't have the fucking strength to go through a rape investigation.

Mental scars can leave you feeling like the fucked up one and blaming yourself instead of the abuser.

Don't you EVER dare call somebody stupid for not reporting something that happened to them to the police.

>>8654163
>>8654308

Also:

>The details aren't important
>All these bullshit paragraphs across two posts

I'm going with option c)

File: sips_T.gif (2MB, 245x245px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 245x245px

>>8654163
>the exif data

Oh please.
It's not like it gives your name and address.

This board isn't for pedo fiction.

>>8654308
You're an asshole. He was a kid, a vulnerable one at that. He was blackmailed. When I was raped as a kid, talkkng to the police just wasn't an option in my mind, the only thing I could think of was making sure nobody ever fucking finds out. I'd expect you to know better considering you said you've experienced similar abuse.

I hope OP talking about it here will feel cathartic in some way.

>>8654181
As our "relationship" continued on I found myself getting more and more detached from my life. I had stopped chatting online, stopped hanging out with the one friend I managed to make, and really just sat in my room playing vidya when I wasn't sleeping or at school.
I started to lose sleep, and it wasn't long before the school councilor wanted to speak with me.

She said the teachers have noticed how tired I look lately, and that the quality of my schoolwork was dropping.
I just stared at the floor, silent.
She got up and walked around her desk, sitting on top of it directly across from me.
She put her hand on my shoulder and just looked into my eyes.
I broke. All the emotions I was hiding from everyone came flooding out. The anger I was storing away, the disgust at myself. I told her what was going on, and after only a few sentences she stopped me and asked me if it was ok for her to call the police. I only weakly nodded.

After I told the officer my story they wanted to get him but I didn't have any info, so they used me as bait. I still remember the story of emotions that played out on his face when the police officers started shouting at him.
Surprise, anger, then resignment.

After that I was smarter and didn't do shit for strangers anymore, but I still crave that feeling of being a forbidden dream come true.

>>8654308
I suppose nothing really, it's just late and I'm a homo that felt like sharing.
Also probably mostly A but a little bit of B.

>>8654391

I meant going back for 'more' was his problem, the initial abuse is heartbreaking but me and other people (>>8654383) have pointed out the holes in the story, I don't really believe it but if OP shows up and can explain why he didn't go to the police after having experience what a trauma real abuse is, I'm confident he is either making it up or developed some kind of fetish, probably the former, prove me wrong OP

If this is true I feel glad OP can vent

>>8654414
>>8654417

Sorry I didn't see your reply, I guess I judged you too soon

People treating sexual abuse as 'hot' or anything but the total horror it is are my trigger, I think you need some therapy for the cravings, it's not a healthy impulse and could lead to unhealthy relationships in the future, although you are hopefully experienced enough now to work that out for yourself

good luck in life OP, sorry for sperging

>>8654414
I'm glad they caught him. You did the right thing.

>>8654414
That's.. Messed up man. Have you gone to see a therapist after the whole ordeal?
I wouldn't know what to think if I were in your situation.

>>8654322
There is an overlap though. OP is a faggot.

>>8654548
But OP is always a faggot didn't you know?

This is why I'm glad I'm not a gay male. Half of you faggots were molested and that's why you're gay.

>>8654616
I was molested because I'm gay, not the other way around.
I couldn't stop staring at his bulge and he finally just gave me what I wanted/needed.

>>8654616

I was molested by a woman, shouldn't that amplify my straightness?

File: anon_retard_by_antonirysuje-d8wng0l.png (73KB, 957x751px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 957x751px

>>8654635

>>8654616
I was molested by both sexes. What's your reasoning now?

>>8654163
I'm gonna go with this being real, just in case. Maybe you did more to give away your location (doxing a kid probably isn't hard).

So I'm sorry OP. If it helps at all, I felt sorta the same way about it for years, like I like the idea of being jailbait. I didn't actually do anything that got me into this sort of terrible situation once I got away from my abusers, but I can see why you did. It's hard to explain to anyone why you'd feel this way about it when it was traumatizing, other than to say that it's exciting and makes you feel special, which is a "lift" when you otherwise feel shitty.

One of my abusers was definitely one of those types that thought he "loved" the kids he molested, and lavished attention on me like I was something very special indeed. I liked it but also absolutely despised it. I think a lot of kids feel like that.

File: lookin.jpg (9KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 300x168px

>>8654163
>>8654181
>this latest installment in the "hot bathroom gay sex (feat. big scary rapist)" series was brought to you by Kekfrog Homorotica, Inc.

>>8654522
Yeah, I did see a therapist. In a lot of ways the therapy was worse than the abuse, I felt like I just wanted everyone to let me forget it but week after week I had to go and talk about it.
But she helped me work through the feelings of responsibility I felt and truly helped me forgive myself. I don't think I would have actually gotten over it otherwise.

>>8654747
Yeah I could have been more careful about what was in the background of my shit.
That's exactly it. Feeling "special". It was like a high I was chasing. I'm a little ashamed of it but even while I was being abused, that feeling of being wanted so badly was a little bit of a rush.

I was abused as a kid by my "best friend"
>reality: no other human contact, social retard, probable asspie
and while it was happening I didn't feel especially bad or good about it, it was just happening, although looking back it's deeply fucking suspicious his mom would have left us alone in his room for hours and hours without ever checking up

later on I found out this wasn't normal and used the story for sympathy points here and there, but many more years later, I think I'm realizing it fucked me up much harder than I thought in the first place, because I basically can't deal with the memories.

anyway, sorry to threadjack, thought I would share. therapy was godawful, the therapist was dumb as a brick and I constantly lied to him

>>8654163
I wish somebody would have molested me.
I was horny as fuck until I finally lost my virginity at age 21.
I mean I doubt that having sex is going to ruin someone's life.
It feels good, after all.

>>8655853
>sexual experimentation with friends
>"not normal"

actually it is pretty normal.
and you shouldn't blame the mother.
women don't understand what horny pricks male teenagers can be.

>>8655853
I think people have this preconceived notion that you get molested and your life changes instantly and forever. In reality the consequences are a little more subtle.
At the time I would have said I was fine, but looking back it was eating at me from the inside, slowly.
Don't apologize dude, I already said my bit.

Did you lie to the therapist because he was dumb or because you weren't ready to face your demons? I straight up refused to tell mine anything for the first 3 sessions.

>>8655863
I think that loss of control has an impact on a persons ego, which can't stand to be hurt. So it does crazy things to rationalize why it happened and make sure it doesn't happen again.
It'd be more accurate to say it ruins a part of someones mind which then causes themselves to ruin their life.

>>8655863
But I should also add that the difference between being molested and having sex is that the former implies a lack of understanding of the action or a lack of agency in the process.
You just wanted to get fugged.

>>8655885
>loss of control

So you were raped?
I think that should have been the headline.

>>8655894
OP didn't want his bullshit to be that obvious.

>>8655869
think "sexual slavery for 11 year olds", not "boys rubbing dicks together". I did the latter, the former was in a whole different class
>>8655885
>Did you lie to the therapist because he was dumb or because you weren't ready to face your demons? I straight up refused to tell mine anything for the first 3 sessions.

IDK. I suspected he was dumb because he would ask me the same questions in a row, and wouldn't/couldn't process my attempts at discourse, but I started out by telling him little lies, then whoppers, then little lies, and he was no good at handling any class of falsehood, so i wrote him off. Trust me tho, the group therapy was much worse.

excellent point about the past eating at you. maybe I need Jesus

>>8655894
It literally was. You're just an idiot.

Stickied

>>8654417
if rape is your first sexual experience, and it isn't the hollywood backalley variety (very rarely is) you dont know its wrong. You dont know that its not supposed to feel disgusting, so you dont avoid disgusting people. Isolation doesn't help; without relevant counter-examples you begin to believe that everyone treats sex as a compulsion, a shameful drug that damages you. It takes awhile for people to work through the shame and remember that they are totally capable of wholesome physical intimacy.

File: 1497139673887.jpg (7KB, 242x208px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 242x208px

>>8654877
Checked. Could I save your anime gril smirk btw?It's nice, and I want to keep it. Here's one of my own as payment.

One time a guy dared me to show him my weiner when i was 12 and I thought it was funny so I pulled my hog out. Then I found out he is gay. Can i play the victim card now? Also I spent the night at his house cause I wanted to play day of defeat and I heard him jacking off? AM I RAPE SURVIVOR? CAN I SUE? GIBME GOBMENTS?

Im still made just cause he tricked me.

>>8659494
>Day of Defeat
The original one or DoD:S?

Hey guys. There's this guy on /k/ who clearly needs someone to talk to regarding this exact kind of shit. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could help him out with it.

>>>/k/34720787
>>>/k/34720871
>>>/k/34720963
>>>/k/34721111

>>8659619
the original duh i was 12