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I wish we lived in a world where I could use my original male name, male pronouns, and still take HRT and live my life as a fully normal and integrated girl.
It feels like I'm lying either way right now. Like I'm lying to society by using a girl's name and pronouns when I'm actually a male, or I'm lying to myself by living my life as a male when the idea makes me horribly uncomfortable and unhappy in my own skin. It's either live a life I'm happy with but try to lie, or ignore my issues and live a life I hate. I don't mind being called by male name/pronouns, but I do mind living as a male, and that's kind of a package deal.
I know its stupid wanting to live and pass as a girl, be recognized as a male, and be a normal integrated person, all at the same time. And I understand why that can't ever happen. But to me, the idea of living and looking like a girl and being a male don't seem at all disparate. They both seem like perfectly normal parts of my life, and I feel kind of bad pretending like only one of those halves is valid.
Had to get that off my chest. Thank you /tttt/ for not limiting trans-rant threads. :)
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>>8643506
It's a nice idea but at that point pronouns/names are genderless.
Just get over the hangup about calling yourself a girl.
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>>8643506
you can do whatever you want, op. only the insecure retard that lives inside of you (as it does all of us) that cares what other people think is stopping you.
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>>8643608
No, I think making an effort to fit in and integrate into society is important. Trying to look like a girl but get called a 'he' is just going to cause disruption at my workplace and church, and confuse my family (further). It'd be rude and selfish to ask that of any of them. All 3 already do enough by letting me transition in the first place and also work/worship/visit with them.
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>>8643506
I know that feel.
Basically I wish males could be allowed the same level and range of expression that females are allowed.
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>>8644286
This so much. It's so unfair. Why aren't we? : (
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>>8643506
>male pronouns
i'm ok with this b/c I'm male
>live life as a normal female
in girlmode, I can pass, and so I do things like errands and shop
>Like I'm lying to society by using a girl's name and pronouns when I'm actually a male
use girl name when your presenting girlmode
use guy/male pronouns in guymode
i live 2 lives, kek
t. trap
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>>8644334
what when you can't pass any longer?
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>>8644350
Hopefully, Im wise and not have to worry so much about my looks
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>>8643506
Just go for it!
I don't really pass as F or M at this point and I've been using an andro version of my birth name for months. I just let people gender me however they like, never correct them or give them a preference, just tell them to call me whatever feels comfortable to them.
If you're in a good area then you'll probably be surprised how little people care about your name, from my experience they tend to treat you as what you look like.
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>>8643506
I feel ya, op. I'd love to be able to express myself in a feminine manner, take hrt and stuff, and still use male name and pronouns, while not attracting all sorts of hostile people.
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