I sometimes think that if I had a better upbringing I wouldn't

*hug* iktf

>>8533329
it's physiological there's nothing you can do about it.
unless you're not really trans at all?
if you're already on hormones and they fixed that feeling you're probably trans, trans right up in the brain.

no such thing as free will anyway so you're locked in this hellscape whether you like it or not.

>>8533338
>If you're already on hormones and they fixed that feeling
Which feeling? Hating my body? no I still hate it. I just don't feel quite as empty inside anymore and hugging things feels very very good. But HRT hasn't really done anything yet as far as dysphoria goes. I'm not very far in.

>>8533367
maybe you're not trans then

>>8533687

Is there only one kind of trans?

>>8533689
yeah basically, you don't really feel that different on hrt?

>>8533329
if thats the only reason then you are not trans and can resolve your psychological problems to be 'normal' instead of popping pills

you shouldnt even have body dysphoria

>>8533695
No. I feel very different. I just don't feel any different towards my body.

>>8533329
I too grew up in a mostly female household. Me, my mom, two sisters, and my dad who was usually away on work trips. As soon as one of my sisters got me into anime my fate was probably sealed.

>>8533825
>Anime
S-STOP! I don't even watch anime anymore!

>>8533811
do you hate your body?

>>8534108
Of course I hate my body. If I didn't I wouldn't have tried to change it in the first place!

>>8533329

How long have you identified as trans, OP? Since how old?

>>8534163
I think I was 15 when I first learned what trans was and 16 when I started seriously thinking theres no way im not trans. I was weird before I was 15 but it was probably just my upbringing more than anything.

>>8534166

Okay, because it seems like trans people often have a sense from a fairly early age of identifying as a different gender. I can't speak to your personal experience of course,

>>8534177
Well, when I was really young I told my mom that I wanted to grow up to be just like her but like I said I didn't have many choices of role models so...

>>8534149
then there's no question, you're trans, it's fine

>>8534177
more like as soon as puberty hits and you find out testosterone is not for you

>>8533329
I'm in the same situation friendo, deadbeat dad with 2 ex wives and 6 different children in 2 different countries. Left two days before me and my sisters birth (to Australia might I add). As I grew older I heard shittier and shittier stories about him and the only other male role model in my life was my godfather. Who constantly leached off my mum throughout my childhood and still does to this day.
My sister bullied me loads as a kid but my mum refused to discipline her harshly; she had "depression" and "social anxiety" (not medically diagnosed of course).
Had tons of pressure put on me to do well at school by my mother because I did well academically. However she refused to pressure my sister because she had dyslexia and it was "rude".
This pressure led to me seeking escapism. With me already questioning my femininity, I started cross-dressing. It felt nice to pretend that maybe if I was born a girl my life would be easier.
Eventually I started therapy for my depression (which I sought out by myself due to daily thoughts of suicide). Eventually I told her that I constantly felt disgusted by my body, that i questioned my masculinity, etc; she told me I had dysphoria.
This led to a few years of transitioning and I feel a lot better about myself. Of course I still see myself as a horrible abomination that'll never fit in anywhere in this world but it's an improvement none the less

>>8533329
>>8534270
What sexist treatment did you actually get?

>>8534270
>she told me I had dysphoria.
And /lgbt/ still acts like therapists have magical insight.

I still worry that being molested is what made me trans even though I know I had trans feelings before it.

I think OP that you're trying to find an excuse to convince yourself that you're not trans.

>>8542684
aren't we all?

>>8542684
It could have made you "more trans"

>tfw no bullied gf to take care of and restore confidence in

>>8542769
I'm so emotionally damaged that I actually might take you up on your offer. All I really need are hugs. Or e-hugs...

>>8542784
I wanna help you through that. How can I contact you?

>>8542792
Do you have discord?

>>8542794
I do but do you mind posting yours?

>>8542799
I do. I'm very afraid of just having it be out there.

>>8542811
Im not near my computer but I wrote it down. I'll add you soon.

>>8542820
Okay. Talk to you later then

I wanted to tell that even though I have loving family, two much olders brothers, mostly uncles and no living grandparents - I still turend out trans (mtf).

>>8542826
What childhood experiences did you have where your gender mattered?

>>8533329
>I sometimes think that if I had a better upbringing I wouldn't have turned out trans.
This makes sense for androphilic mtfs but how could upbringing stop a gynephilic mtf from being trans?

>>8547395
explain further.

>>8547438
And androphilic mtf who isn't shamed or forced to man up can just be a feminine gay guy.

>>8547467
No we can't wtf are you even talking about?