My online friend is in love with me and I don't really know

>>8532809
Was in a similar position I tried to hint that Im not interested and ghosted for a while, thinking she'd get it and move on. But that was not the case so I had to outright tell her that nothings going to work and even lied that Im seeing someone else.

Felt bad to be this blunt but it's honest and better than friendzoning and feeding my ego while giving the other person false hope. It was really bad but nothing I could do.

>>8532809
Also your insecurity is a problem in itslef, maybe you want a relationship but feel too insecure to let yourself get close with him (or anyone for that matter)

>>8532847
But I really really don't want to ghost him. I like spending time with him and we get along really well. I just wish that he'd be attracted to someone else.

Also I'm sorry for posting this thread twice. It said there was an error so I assumed it had messed up.

>>8532858
I am going to second this, some people don't get immediate romantic attraction to others. Some people enter into relationships simply because they enjoy the other persons companionship too. I am wondering if your confidence issues are getting in the way.

>>8532809
If all he knows is you're just putting yourself down when he's your friend, likes talking to you, thinks you're attractive, and wants to spend time together, he's never going to get this message you're halfheartedly trying to send him.

He's probably got just as much insecurity in himself and feels comfortable with you. If the real issue is you actually have no attraction to him, you're going to have to make it blatant you just want a friend. Otherwise, sort out that just trying to kick yourself in front of him to make yourself unappealing is something he doesn't want to see, will make him want to make you feel better, and is reliant on getting him to admit his feelings you might not understand are wrong rather than telling him your own feelings.

>>8532858
I do want a relationship. I really really do. I really just want a tall man to cuddle with and stuff. But I'm not attracted to my friend, he lives far away, and even if he didn't, he wouldn't be attracted to me irl. It's really much more than my insecurity that keeps me from a relationship.

>>8533017
I mean, you just said the only reasons were he lives far away and your insecurity again.

>>8533017
have you had a frank and open discussion about him making you uncomfortable yet? laid it out that the only picture he's seen is not representative and you're actually ugly and what he's saying is making you feel terrible?

if not, do that.

>>8533029
You ignored the most important part. I'm not attracted to him. I just can't return his feelings and like him the way that he likes me.

>>8533058
I've already talked to him about it. Told him to stop liking me so much. He said that he can't really help the way that he feels. And he wants me to feel good about myself. And like I said he legitimately does know how to make me feel good. But still. I feel like he's doing all this and getting nothing in return. And I tell hom that and he doesn't care.

>>8533245
tell him that makes you feel bad? feeling guilty and indebted to somebody sucks, that's something they should respect and not push on you.

>>8533270
Yes I've told him I feel guilty. And he'll cool off for a while but then build up again and start calling me pretty and cute etc.

>>8533284
a warning then a trial separation I think I'd try, they seem like a bit of a creep.

Stop beating around the bush and tell him you're not attracted to him instead of bashfully saying you're not cute. It makes you seem meek and feminine (which can be attractive traits if he wants to care for someone and be cared for in return), or otherwise like you're fishing for compliments or validation from him.

>>8533366
see >>8533245

>>8532809
woah this is like a weird bizarro version of the situation im in
Well kind of

In mine, im the one who likes the guy, but im constantly paranoid he doesnt really like me.

Swapped positions in relation to each other in my situation

>>8533374
That's not telling him you're not attracted to him. It just comes across as lacking in self-confidence. Be blunt and honest about it sooner rather than later, otherwise you're just feeding into this crush.

when this has happened to me:

i said bluntly, "no, i'm not looking for a relationship." or "sorry, i dont find you attractive."

>>8533415
But I did tell him flat out once that I'm not atracted to him. Everything else came after that. I think I'll just do what he other person said and tell him we need to take a break from eachother.

>>8533462
Send him a normal picture already. You cant hide forever anyway

>>8533515
I legitimately can't do this. I'd actually have a heart attack.

>>8533415
>Be blunt and honest about it sooner rather than later, otherwise you're just feeding into this crush.

Hard mode: What happens if the crush is straight, but the faggot has somehow convinced himself that he is dealing with a closet case.
He has already been told by straight guy that he is straight, but he can't seem to accept it.

>>8533577
I'm mtf and he's a straight(?) male.

>>8533577
Are you friends already then? Because that can make a big difference.

My only personal experience comes from having been ghosted after hookups or flaked on for dates, and I'd honestly rather have made a friend with no romantic attachments than had that happen to me.