I don't really think I'm trans. I think I just have

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I don't really think I'm trans. I think I just have something wrong with my brain.

When I was young I was abused by my sister alot. She would beat me, call me trash, even threatened to cut out my tounge once. I also used to get bullied in school basically every day for various reasons. After a while I just stopped telling the teachers. Why bother when it never really stops. As for my sister; my mom knew that she did things like this but never did anything about it. In fact she wasn't a very hands on mother at all. Even when I was showing signs of turning out wrong she still didn't do anything. When I was 6 I told her something along the lines of wanting to grow up to be just like her. She did nothing. By the time I was 10 I had started straling my sister's clothes and wearing them, even though they were too big for me. My mom knew and still never did anything. Since were my parents were separated I only saw my dad for a small portion of the week. But he sued for custody and won. My mother never even showed up for the hearing. She was always really irresponsible with her time. After that me and my sister were living with my dad and barely ever saw our mom on account of distance. As I got older my sister did less and less to me. I stopped talking to her entirely by middle school. My dad didn't tolerate my faggot shit and trued his best to make me act like a real man. But I think that by then it was too late. I was already messed up for life. Not that it mattered anyway. He was an awful male role model. He had so many kids with other women. And basically just tried to teach me misogyny and racism. He could barely hold down a job and was constantly complaining about whatever woman was in his life at the time. I really didn't have any good role models at all in life. I just grew up confused and isolated. I never wanted to spend time with anyone in my family and tried to spend as much time as possible at school. (cont)