I'm pretty sure I could've passed had I started HRT

but Anon! i do pass

I started hormones at 16 but had to quit a few months in. Didn't restart till a decade later. I know those regret feels. I just boy mode. Helps with dysphoria and I look almost a decade younger.

>>8517252
How long you been HRT like 4 months?

>>8517265
God that really sucks anon.
>>8517269
9 months I started at 23 though so I know what I'm in for.

>>8517275

It's cool. Was my fault. I could have ran away and transitioned, but I chose to help my family since I figured I would kill myself anyway. I'm mostly happy nowadays.

>>8517252

I don't know. That will probably be the question that haunts the rest of my life.

>>8517291
Iktf I tried to "man up" and I regret it immensely.

>>8517265
>>8517291

At least you're not as badly off as the anon who started HRT the first time at 16, got put in a conversion therapy program before turning 19, and could only start again at 48.

>>8517300

Yeah, it's the worst feel. What hurts most is I know I could have been cis passing. I still look better than most of the girls I meet who transitioned in late teens and early twenties. It hurts that my only choices are femboy or twinkhon.

>>8517301

Damn. That's harsh. Yeah, I mean I could probably pass with FFS. But I spent the last decade depressed and not getting ahead so I have normie job. Make a decent wage but not enough. I've considered doing sexwork on the side, I don't judge those who do but I don't think I'm cut out for it.

>>8517317
I know a lot of people that just sell pot on the side to get their spare cash basically.

For me few years probably wouldn't have mattered, looking back at the photos when I was 16-17 there wasn't much difference between when I started hrt at 22, I guess maybe I'd have avoided worst mental damage from dysphoria, even if I still didn't pass.

I do wonder though, what'd've happened if I came out to my parents when I realized I was trans at 12.
Would they just laugh it off and ignore it?
Would they actually try and help me?
Even if they did, could I even get any kind of hrt before 18 in this shitty country back then?
And if I could, would gatekeepers turn me away?
Or maybe I'd have chickened out on my own, then regretted it for the rest of my life?

I don't really cope with it well; I just tell myself I need to somehow keep going at least until I earn enough for FFS for my mom's sake, since suicide would hurt her too much.

>>8517252
I know I wasn't meant to. I've traced the cord back to the wall, and wrapped my head around the various ways that this shit is just the result of abuse. Well, fuck accommodating all that.

>>8517356
Iktf I could've tried to at least tell my parents I wanted to be a girl at like 10-14. I could've told them I wanted to see a therapist. I could've seen a therapist myself. I have so many regrets I hope you're doing better now though.

>>8517331

Pot is legal where I live.

>>8517301
Holy fuck that would suck. But why did they have to wait until 48? You'd think once they got away from their parents they'd go for it.

I've looked at my old photos and I mostly haven't changed other than my hairline which really sucks. I think maybe my brow grew out a bit but it's not very noticeable between photos.

>>8517301
Link? What did the conversion therapy do to her that stopped her for thirty years?

You don't

>>8517252
It's okay, just remember that you will never be and would have never been a real girl anyways so it's all good :^)

>>8517385
>>8517384
PTSD, I know who this post is about
she was caught in mugging/shooting because it was the shitty side of 70s New York and three of her friends died or something, she was taken to hospital and the doctor there saw she was trans and put her in electro-convulsive conversion therapy that ruined her memory for years and fucked her up more than the shooting had already
she owns and lives on a farm now or something and has posted a couple of pics

>>8517464
But at least I could've looked like one.
>>8517469
God that's actually horrible.

>>8517464
kinda cruel thing to say faM

Literally everybody would pass if they started HRT earlier. This isn't exclusive to you.
This is your NOT-QUITE-DAILY reminder that you can pass but not be fucking attractive, not everyone that looks like a woman also looks attractive

i tried getting 'mones at 16, and am only just about to get them now at 18, feels real fucking bad

At 15 I definitely knew I was trans and I was with my family as my brother was moving into college and he had a trans girl as a roommate (which is fucked up, I know). I was reading all of her books when my parents left me another room. Her books were all special snowflake "gender outsider" shit though. Then I met her and she was a total hon. More proof that hons only serve to scare off early transitioners :(

But ehh I probs wouldn't have been able to start that early because my parents are uber conservative. My body was already wrecked by T by then anyway :(

knew i was trans when i was 12 and could've gotten hormones if i had fucking money and i regret it every day of my life years later

>>8518284
>he had a trans girl as a roommate (which is fucked up, I know
Rooming with the other sex does happen you know, even when one isn't trans.

Honestly op you might want to do more research. When you realize that actually you wouldn't have passed even if you started at 12, it may be easier to cope with your current reality.

>>8518928

>When you realize that actually you wouldn't have passed even if you started at 12

What makes you say that?

idk OP after suffering so much traumatization from dysphoria im just numb to it at this point

>>8518928
What kind of mental deficiency are you suffering from?