I'm gay and demisexual (say what you will about it as an

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I'm gay and demisexual (say what you will about it as an identity, but it accurately describes how I feel). I've never desired someone sexually without knowing them well and having romantic feelings for them, and it's often kind of off putting to imagine. I've only had sex with three people, but have had a lot of other chances. On the other hand, I'm really fucking kinky. In high school when I started to have any sexual feelings I was only interested in weird fetishes, and thought I was basically functionally asexual (and neither straight nor gay) because I was only interested in the objects of the fetishes

I eventually started talking online with fetish communities (loose definition maybe, depending on your perspective- a major one is the furry fandom), and by now they're a big part of my online and offline social circle- and dating pool in particular because almost all the gay people I know are from those circles.

Does anyone relate to this at all?

And what do I do? I wonder how to (or if I even should) pursue specific obscure fetishes, if the only way to meet people interested in them is by meeting them (at least primarily) for the purpose of sex. I also wonder if I should just stop identifying and hanging out with those communities, because I feel sort of alienated and at-odds with everyone. There are a lot of other obvious reasons I should leave, but still, my actual sexual interests are mostly defined by fetishes, so pursuing relationships without that common ground seems weird. Even if the sex in a relationship is generally vanilla, it seems important to at relate to something substantial sexually. Plus, I know it's cliche, but I have no idea how "normies" (or "prudes") date.

So yea, what do?