>When the non-binary person you're dating breaks up with

>I'm fuckin disrespecting your damn identity, which rests on the fact that transvestite, and cross dressing, are offensive terms.
lmao

>>8496873
Protip: That's not why they broke up with you.
That was just the excuse given.
Just move on.
You obviously weren't compatible.

>>8496973
I recognize there were other reasons, but 90% of the disagreements were semantic differences, me trying to respect various psychological quirks and tumblrisms and failing, which as a result let's the person I was dating typecast me as this controlling, disrespectful, transphobic whatever.

They were the kinda person who you have to talk down from suicide attempts on a regular basis, but they call you "controlling" when you ask them if they're allright.

Just gave me a new outlook on a lot of tumblr queer "activism", you're drowning in doubts and self-loathing, so you project onto other people and cut them off at the drop of a hat.

>>8496873
>>8497025
You sound like trash desu.

>>8497025
Why would you be sad to have lost a relationship with that

>>8497025
you dodged a bullet, sweaty
choose someone better next time

>>8496873
Fuck those people, anon.
That's why I hate the community as a whole. Almost every potential partner is some steam ERPer or a hardcore militant left-wing liberal that'll think you're a literal nazi for forgetting one of their pronouns.

>>8497135
Because otherwise they were pretty cool, and their sexual weirdness I could relate to (protip: any of you guys into femdom, non-binaries and ftms have a lot of pent up frustration, and many would be more than willing to experiment worth shoving shit up your ass), the hypersensitivity not so much.

>>8497151
Thats part of the reason im glad im bi- i can just avoid the whole chance of dating a crazy by dodging the whole community

>dating a theythem

that was your first mistake

I'm a NB person who's had this same conversation with a boyfriend, OP.

Except with us it was about race. He insisted that 'people of color' and 'colored people' were basically the same word, and that words are not important anyway, so even 'nigger' should be fine. I argued that it's not about the words, it's about putting in a conscious effort to listen. It's about signaling: "I'm with you guys, I've been listening up to the point in history where you started using this word." Likewise, white people who use 'nigger' casually are usually racist or lacking in some other way. That's another pretty powerful signal.

We ended up still disagreeing, but we didn't break up over it.

In your case, you have a NB partner. As an enbie I actually agree with you: not a single word in any language is inherently offensive. Although 'gender-bent' does sound like you were trying to attack their identity, and most genderqueers will say that 'transvestite' has become a slur. What strikes me as a lot more important than sematics, though, is that you didn't ask 'does it hurt you when I use that word?'. You didn't ask whether it was important to your partner that you'd try and learn the new lingo. It's okay to think it's silly, if the signal you're sending is 'I care about you and your feelings'. Instead you went with name-calling.

Ask yourself, what signal does that send?

To me, it seems you acted childishly. I agree with your ex-Partner that it shows a lack of respect. Sorry for your loss, OP, but you were wrong.

>>8497227
> He insisted that 'people of color' and 'colored people' were basically the same word,
You're being inane.
> signaling
Isn't worth shit, and means you'll be thrown under the bus if the person signaling is even slightly inconvenienced.

>>8497188
filthy breeders get out

>>8496873
sorry op but you're a shitheel. take this time to work on not being a patronizing, self important douchewad and actually asking your next partner how to respect them and then following it next time. you don't get brownie points for pretending to be PC to keep your fuckbuddy, you have to actually commit to it and work hard to resprct and make them comfortable. why? because you love them and want to make them happy.

and if you dont? do yourselves both a favor and go date britney from accounting, who likes shopping for clothes at walmart and thinks its totally cool to use the n word. you two would probably be a lot more compatible.

>>8497227
I get what you mean, but I'll tell you that all the disagreements were over innocuous things. I used the term "slightly genderbent" to refer to a woman in an ad wearing androgynous clothes. I used transvestite to refer to a friend of mine who liked to crossdress. I was open to criticisms and asked often, but it turned out my repeated use of these problematic terms meant I was a problem.

I'd agree with you on the n word business, but I never meant any ill intention for anything I said.

>>8497268
Asked, did my best to respect my partner, wasn't enough.

Good use of righteous anger tho. I lolled.

>>8497258
Jokes on you im gonna be a kissless virgin regardless of who i pursue

>>8496873
You're probably bad in bed so she picked a fight with you in order to have a reason to break up.

>>8497227
nigger nigger nigger,
you are a dumb nigger nigger,
nigger nigger,
nigger

>>8497294
i dont know if you're trying to prove why your ex was right to break up with you on purpose or not but you continue to do a brilliant job of it anyway.

seriously. you don't sound cut out to be dating lgbt folks.

>>8497227
Kill yourself, Snowflake-kun. No one gives a shit about your feelings.

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>>8497348

>>8497294

Thanks for the clarification. In that case, it sounds like I'd agree with you. I wouldn't want to date someone who's that sensitive. It's important to be able to joke around a bit, although the threshhold for 'a bit' is different for everyone.

You sound like a nice person. I'm sure you'll find someone who is a better fit.

>>8497397

My fiancé does. My friends do.

I'm sorry if you have relationships where your feelings get dismissed.

>>8497396
Meh, did they have a right to leave? Sure. Is using some prickly words in a non-inflammatory context a good reason to do so?

Probably gonna stick to guys for the time being, why does the femme-ier side of queer politics and identity stuff in general have to be such a barrel of monkeys in regards to tolerance for other viewpoints?

Nonbinary are trash. Now you know

>>8497294
"my repeated use of these problematic terms meant I was a problem."

yes, it was. what the fuck. lmao. you're something else. get off /lgbt/. "i say bad things so i'm a bad person??? impossible!!!" whatever. go back to making fun of refugees or something.

This is one of the many reasons i wouldnt date someone who owns a tumblr

>>8497174
>femdom
>ftms

So you really were transphobic trash after all?

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>>8497294
>repeatedly do things that make someone uncomfortable despite being asked not to
>surprised when they eventually get tired of it and don't want to date you anymore

You're a fucking idiot for dating someone who described themselves as "non-binary" in the first place.

>>8496873
Serves you right for dating an SJW in the first place.

>>8498008
He already said they were non-binary. What should he say, enbiedom?

You forgot rule number one op

Never, ever stick your dick in crazy

>>8502599
Nonbinaries don't exist, they're just female (or male if they were born male) but ftms strive to be male.

>>8502599
Read his post again, he refers to both enbies and FtMs.

>>8502610
fuck off with your bro crap, cunt

>>8502962
it isn't bro crap.
it is basic science