Why is it that some days I really desperately want to transition

>>8461143
It's the suffering of an AGP.

>>8461159
What the fuck can I do about this? I was seriously considering transitioning because I really wanted to be a girl most of the week last week and then all of a sudden I wake up today and feel like being a guy isn't so unbearable.

>>8461190
Do you have anxiety/depression? Sometimes if you feel your anxiety getting you worked up you'll get more dysphoria and other days when you're calmer you won't have dysphoria.

>>8461143
This. Today I feel like I'm almost fine again, and then the next I feel dysphoric as fuck.

Fuck being AGP.

posting in this thread because I am experiencing the same thing as OP. IDK how to help

>>8461210
>>8461207
>>8461143
Joining you folks in existing.

>>8461207
>>8461210
So this is just a common thing? This is actually horrible.

>>8461207
>>8461210
>>8461143
No one know why?

Happens to me too. It's terrible because I'll go from knowing I need to transition back to questioning.

I feel the same.
Today being a guy isn't so bad, but in other days its so bad.
>>8461201
I do.

>>8461143
It's normal for dysphoria to fluctuate. I thought I was fine too until one day I broke down crying and ordered hormones before the end of the night.

Also, the fact that you say being a guy "doesn't seem so bad" and "isn't so unbearable" is pretty telling desu. Textbook repressor.

>>8461288
not him but in my own personal experience I would sometimes go days/maybe even weeks (it's hard to remember because I'm so dysphoric right now) at a time without a thought about transitioning or being a girl going through my head. which makes me feel like it's not serious enough to go through with it.

>>8461264
>>8461219
>>8461217
From what I've heard, it's normal not just for AGPs, but all trans people. Dysphoria comes in waves for us.

>>8461288
I'm not really repressing, however. I'm aware I'm AGP, but choosing not to transition but still being aware I'm trans. I just don't feel any dysphoria right now.

>>8461299
This, back when I was actually repressing. I think about it every day and visit this board every day, but sometimes it's just I don't feel trans at all.

>>8461288
You're probably right but I just don't get it. When it's bad it's really bad and I think I should transition but the next day if I don't feel as bad it undoes everything. Like I'll go from "god I need to transition this is terrible I hate being a guy I want to be a girl" to "being a guy isn't so bad glad I didn't try to transition it was just a phase I'm normal". It's really terrible I actually wish I was just dysphoric all the time because then I would end up transitioning instead of like right now I'm not feeling bad so I don't want to transition.

>>8461277
For me, it comes in waves that slowly get worse, one day it's "I want to be a girl" next day it's "I'm a guy!" next day it's "I need HRT fucking badly" then next day it's "I'm a guy!" then next day it's "oh f**** this is bad... I'm a permahon if I take hormones welp time to be a guy again"

>>8461305
By "all trans people" you probably just mean "most"

Most are A*P.

>>8461323
Feels like I'm fucking bipolar with my dysphoria.

Maybe I'm not AGP/Trans after all...

One day I'm actually fairly happy next day it's dysphoria hell.

>>8461332
Same

>>8461313
>I'm aware I'm AGP, but choosing not to transition but still being aware I'm trans.
How is that working?

IMO this is the true path.

>>8461340
Have only been trying it for a week or two rather than full repression. Right now, honestly 1000x better than repression. I'd rather ride the dysphoria waves than just feel like shit 24/7 repressing.

>>8461344
What does it involve?

>>8461349
Just trying to accept myself, really.
Rather than repressing my feminine side, I'm just more open about it to myself. I'm AGP, I'm trans, that's okay.

It's hard to explain, really - but rather than repressing the dysphoria, I'm simply experiencing it and letting it pass.

I'm still working on it, of course. I hope to be able to cope, and while I may never be "truly happy" I should be able to cope.

Been 10+ years of repression, anything's better than that.

>>8461359
Do you crossdress or anything like that?

What would you do to handle the dysphoria when you were repressing?

>>8461143
Because stimuli changes OP.

The interesting part is you can be cis if you figure out the things which make you feel cis / feel trans, and limit the stuff making you feel trans, and embrace the stuff making you feel cis

Or you could be a disgusting social outcast tranny... ..your call .

>>8461399
I personally roleplay as a girl online, it helps my dysphoria. Crossdressing makes it worse for me, most of my AGP is interpersonal.

>>8461414
I don't even know what causes each feeling and I honestly do think it's completely random.

>>8461416
>most of my AGP is interpersonal.
That's interesting, mine is too I think and I roleplay online as well, but I like crossdressing too and it doesn't make me dysphoric.

>>8461434
Nothing wrong with crossdressing if it makes you feel better, anon. I've mostly disconnected from my body as such so bringing it into view makes me dysphroic.

>>8461434
Addition:

I'm basically full time online as a girl, I basically live my life through the internet. Avoid stuff like voice chat exc but apart from that it's great.

>>8461416
>it reinforces my delusions about myself

fixed.

>>8461626
>delusions
See >>8461359
I'm self aware I'm trans, silly.
I'm doing the best with what I have.

>>8461616
I know crossdressing is fine, I just find it interesting how AGP works differently for different people. I think my disconnect to my body is why I don't find it extra dysphoric just to see it.

>>8461620
>I basically live my life through the internet.
Does that work?

>>8461636
Works better than repression, that's for sure.
I mean it's not great but it's better than repression by a long stretch. I'm AGP it's how it is. I'll find more methods to cope in the future, I'm sure.

And yeah, AGP is different for everyone.

>>8461631
The key to repression is finding possitivity on it, and focusing on it : I'm SURE that being strong for instance, working out, or whatever, makes you feel good, that it feels good being stronger than women

Focus on that, and focus AWAY from trans thoughts.

Its not easy, but it makes everything else easier.

>>8461647
Keep us updated in /agpg/ please.

>>8461649
Repression just makes me feel dead inside and depressed as fuck, it's honestly worse than dysphoria at this point. I'd rather not go back to being a walking corpse.

Honestly, none of that shit does. Being strong doesn't, I've never felt pleasure from working out, I don't want to be stronger than a woman and even if I was I'd rather be a woman stronger than other women.

I have no real goals or passions or meaning in life when I repress I just feel like shit. Fuck that.

I'm not trapping myself either. Not going to take HRT.

>>8461657
For sure. Will do, anon.

>>8461190
>being a guy isn't so unbearable
that still doesn't sound very positive?

>>8461987
I don't know I don't hate being a guy it's whatever is basically what I meant. Like right now I'm a guy it's whatever I'm not happy about it I'm not upset about it either. Tomorrow I could really hate it and it would be unbearable.

Same op. I figure ill be happier a girl, so im transitioning. Fuck it, if i irreversibly fuck up, ill end my life desu

>>8461143
I'm the same OP, and I've been told by a lot of people that this is super common.

AGP is literally irrelevant. Trans people with AGP are just trans people with an extra fetish. Stop shoving your obsession into every discussion. Dysphoria is cyclical for everyone.

>>8461143
I'm kind of the same way. I have a constant, non-zero level of dysphoria, but for some periods, it's more of a typical depressed/empty feeling, and for others it's more violent and actively, sabotagingly hopeless. It's cyclical and gradual for me, though.

>>8461143
I literally switch between hardcore repressing and wanting to transition every other day. It's so stressful.

>>8464262
>Trans people with AGP are just trans people with an extra fetish.
heh

It really is weird. Yesterday I was feeling like shit and now I'm just fine. I guess it's always been like that but now I'm doubting if I'm trans at all.

>>8466321
Literally same on the days I feel fine i seriously doubt if I'm actually trans

wow, i thought i was the only one. some days i feel enough like a girl to function fine and others i'm breaking down over seeing cisgender guys online who i wished i looked like and trying to chop off my hair. i constantly feel like i'm faking it/lying to myself because of the "good" days where i can manage, so it's nice to know i'm not alone.

>>8466374
Don't worry, it's very very common, anon.

Non-transitioning non-HRT AGP here.

>>8468712
>Non-transitioning non-HRT AGP here
Do you at least take supplements and whatnot to help prevent excessive masculinization?
One thing I always hated was how testosterone absolutely obliterates peoples skin, but it can kind of be fixed with chemical extracts.

>>8468853
No supplements, no. Absolutely no "transition" related measures, beyond keeping my hair long to cope, general stuff like pretending to be a girl online and such.

I'm semi-repressing I'd say - aware but still repressing.

>>8468875
That just sounds horrible. What about MPB?
Like I'm not even 100% sure I'm trans and I'd still be willing to nuke my T to not get mpb. That's what really kickstarted my spiral into depression.

>>8468957
>MPB
If I end up getting MPB, I'll just have to get wigs or something. Whatever happens, happens.

Could always get on finasteride or something.

so far, I'm one of the lucky ones.

>>8468971
I'm kind of in the same situation as you but I noticed my temples receding a bit, no hair loss whatsoever anywhere else though which is weird. But I'm pretty sure I'm trans, I can kind of cope somewhat though...
I basically just megadose on various supplements which at least saved my skin and hair. It at least gives me some mental reassurance that if I do crack at least I gave it the ol' college try at preventing masculinization lol

>>8468995
Well, my hair's holding up quite well surprisingly, even without any additions.

I'm quite high T apparently, and I'm doing fine holding on - I can last until the bitter end, I'm sure.

It's rough, but life is rough regardless, I'd have a much worse quality of life being a trans girl.

>>8469003
I think I'm pretty low T which might be actually causing more depression, not sure. I have lots of ED issues and my jizz was just watery and clear most of the time even before using supplements. But at the same time I wouldn't ever go on TRT if a doctor gave me it.
Generally the only way I can really relieve dysphoria is when I bottom for guys and we cuddle and stuff, or crossdressing if I actually find clothes that don't make me look hideous. But my life is such a wreck I can't get into relationships, especially if I have agp fantasies every time I have sex.

I'm not sure how people can repress these feelings. Especially people that get into long-lasting relationships and have had kids and stuff. Like I've made it this far in life doing reckless stuff and just trying to have fun, but the ride has to end sometime...

>>8469068
I've never really wanted a relationship as a guy, I'm exclusively AGP, 100% asexual otherwise.

I can live without it. It's awful to do, and sometimes I spend some time on this board letting out my feelings.

The ride never ends, anon. It's until death, or HRT. If you can't last until the bitter end, get on mones now.