Many MtF who repress too long will keep on repressing because

>>8441405
given as people have transitioned as old as ninety, there are of course people with extreme enough gid that they recognize it as something they're repressing in the first place who die before they transition
but that's rolling the dice on if you'll die before your 'bell rings', which with lifespans growing and transition ages getting earlier is a bet i wouldn't recommend taking

>>8441405
It's possible. You'd never know as they died as successful males.

Non-transitioning non-HRT AGP here.

Lasted 10 years of repression, I can last as long as my life exists.

>>8441424
It's an option for the true men, rhat truly aren't women.

>>8441424
If my "bell goes off" as hons like to call it, I'll stuff my face with antipyschotics and hope it works. If not, guess it's time for a lobotomy.

Anything is better than trapping yourself.

>>8441425
How old are you now?
From what I've seen most people who repress break down in their 30s-40s.

>>8441424
But being trans is a spectrum. You can't tell "trans people" that they're gambling on dying sooner by not transitioning when everybody is above 0% trans and below 100% trans.

>any MtF who repress too long will keep on repressing because they think that even if they transition now they'd turn out unpassable.
This is me

Every moment I want to die

>>8441443
Early 20s.
Now here's where I get hundreds of raging hons telling me to transition. Not going to happen. Life is suffering, and I can handle it. Gender Dysphoria is the least of my problems.

>>8441448
I just can't understand this logic senpai...
>oh noes i repressed too long and now i regret it
>my best option is to repress even longer
How can anyone think this will turn out anything but horrible?

>>8441455
cowardice

>>8441455
>How can anyone think this will turn out anything but horrible?
When did I say this would turn out good?

I know with absolute certainty I'm going to shoot myself, and sometime soon.

>>8441405
Who knows? There's no way to tell how many people repress successfully and live happy lives.

>>8441455
Some are in it for the long haul. It's the ultimate life or death fight. The military has nothing on the eternal suffering of A G P, as seen by those IN the military becoming hons.

Think about it. Be the man, keep fighting. Until you give up, you're more a man than any other man.

>>8441455
or they might just mature into an adult and accept their life

>>8441460
Life is suffering. Even if you trap yourself, there's no escape from that. Just accept that life is shit, and move forward with your life. Fuck transition. That's for weak men, and the rare HSTS.

What's the difference between Laci Green, who says she struggled with dysphoria when she was younger but moved on, and a "repressed" MtF who claims he moved on but ends up transitioning at age 50?

>>8441455
>didn't transition at 16 because I thought I was too ugly and manly
>didn't transition at 18 because I thought I was too ugly and manly
>didn't transition at 21 because I'm far uglier and manlier than before
>25 and still haven't transitioned, probably never will
My life is already a living hell every second of every day. If I transition I will be a disgusted hated freak and my life will be even worse, it's already a struggle just to hold on.

>>8441464
>implies repression can ever lead to happiness
Can I have what your on? In a high enough dose to kill me, please?

I'm 18 and I'm just repressing until I either give up or just pretend I'm normal for life.

>>8441490
It's possible, you just need to make sure your level of mental gymnastics is otherkin-tier to force yourself to be a man permanently.

Repression is an artform.

>>8441490
Nobody is truly happy, happiness is a lie and life is suffering. If you accept this, then you can repress successfully. Man up!

>>8441495
Don't give up, man. This is the ultimate challenge. Think that nobody's made it repressing their entire lives? Why not be the first. Dedicate your life to destroying AGP in all it's forms.

>>8441405
any depressive hopeless life end in selfdestruction

can you live happily? I dont know, there are some supposedly trans who live perfectly functional life for decades and get familes and kids and make careers

>>8441446
if you identify yourself as a 'repressor', you're far enough down the trans spectrum to make it a really risky bet, especially if you're under 30

>>8441541
It ain't gambling, it's about skill.

I've been repressing since my early teens, and knew what repressing was since then.

YOU CAN'T GIVE IN!

>>8441551
not him but...
>romanticizing ignoring a serious mental illness
this won't end well

>>8441565
Until there's a non-transition option. I ain't stopping repression. In the end, everything in life is a fight. If what makes you happy is battling your own illnesses, then so be it!

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>>8441452
If you can live a happy life that way, then I'm truly happy for you.

>>8441541
What I feel and how I identify are flexible. No matter how dysphoric I am one day, the next can be different. By recognizing that "trans" and "cis" are a false dichotomy I can acknowledge my transness without either repressing or convincing myself transition is the only option.

>>8441405
I detransed just to repress again because I didn't pass so yeah

>>8441622
how long did you try before detransition?
i've read some stories from people who only passed after 3 or 4 years hrt.

>>8441486
I fucking know exactly how you feel. I fucking regret not transitioning and being a retard that thought they would end up unpassable in their teens. Now I'm 24 with basically no chance.

>>8441637
Was in hrt for 5 years plus ffs

>>8441622
>because I didn't pass so

This. It's no use saying transition is the only option when you're trans if you need to pass and be recognized as a girl but never will be. Then the choice is having to deal with being male but at least being normal or being a hon, which isn't female or normal.

>>8441495
You're only 18, stop being a god damn idiot and take your pills.

>>8441771
Who did you go to for FFS?

>>8441771
no way, hard to believe

>>8441455
If I have been able to repress for more than 10 years there's no reason for me to think that I won't be able to keep it up my hole life. In doing so I'm saving myself a lot of trouble. Not only am I to much of a coward to tell anyone, most people nowadays still think we're all just fetishist weirdos, which is not strange knowing that some known trannies are CWC and NarcissaWright (that is on the internet, of course, but Caitlyn Jenner is not a much better example). By the time the brain dimorphism thing is mainstream knowledge and people stop thinking of trannies as just psychos or fags I'll be already too old, so there's no point in doing it. Not to say that, obviously, I've already wasted my childhood and my teenager years, I'd always be lacking female socialization so fuck it.

>>8441882
Then stop coming here. It's like you are a masochist as well.

>>8441872
Speigal

>>8441873
He destroyed my face and voice

>>8441873
Hrt isn't magic, nor is ffs. When will people realize.

>>8441939
>Speigal
I'm sorry.

>>8441940
This
Look at some of the people in Mtfg who got ffs and still look like men

>>8441941
It wouldn't have mattered who I went to.
T fucked my entire face and body up in my teens

How do i tell the difference between genuine dysmorphia and AGP induced by watching too much anime?

I feel like there's a world of difference between wanting to be a girl and wanting to be an anime girl.

>>8442038
Being a girl is the closest thing to being an anime girl I suppose.
Just take your girl pills to be safe, you can always detransition later.

>>8441939
What do you mean "destroyed"?

>>8441448
>first thought about transitioning when i was 16
>ignored it for 5 years
>cis gf's uncle recently came out as trans
>secretly really proud of her for doing so
>gf breaks down because she thinks im going to transition too bc she knows i enjoy cd

jdimsa

>>8442038
stop watching anime and hanging around here and see how you feel

>>8442200
I can't. I'd literally die.

>>8442208
You are trans then

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRSN46UwiUI

>>8442210
I want to transition into an anonymous 4chan poster. Life is just too much to bear if I don't do this. How do I go about it?

>>8441920
>It's like you are a masochist as well.
implying 99% trannies arent

>>8441939
damn...
whats the best strategy in life to keep on repressing and not willing all will to go on?

>>8442214
cringe

>>8441920
I've kind of become one over time though.

>>8442074
My voice can't reach higher than 120hz now because he cut too much of the cartilage off of my Adam's apple.

As for face, he narrowed my jaw way to much which my makes my high cheekbones stand out and moe's my whole head look like a light bulb

>>8442358
B-but I thought FFS was foolproof?!
>daily reminder that cutting yourself doesn't fix self-loathing

>>8442369
It is if the surgeon doesn't fuck up

>>8442407
>if the surgeon doesn't fuck up
>if
>if
>if

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>>8441939
>spiegel

>>8442214
I am actually seriously sad that people actually see us this way thanks to these retarded inaccurate representations. It seriously pains me.

>>8442569
It makes me sad too, and it only makes it harder to get people to understand us.

It can happen but people with strong wills tend not to turn out tranny in the first place, because willpower is something you build with time and having an entire life comfortable as natal sex is advantageous to building such reserves of willpower.

Children who have questions with gender ident will invariably grow up tp be weak willed adults and thus force themselves into a choice of transition, repression, or death perhaps only realizing superficially that normal people never have to go through this dilemma in the first place...

PROTIP: If you're still young enough to be cute you should probably just do it before the dilemma eats you alive.

>>8441920
>not being addicted to your own suffering

Why are you even on this site, for real?

>>8442822
>people with strong wills tend not to turn out tranny
[citation needed]

>>8442854
That's just textbook repression, ignore him.

>>8442886
Repression is why there will always be hons.

>>8442214
Fuck sake

I just cry and masterbate in the mirror

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>>8443223
tfw your fetish is hons

>>8442358
wasnt Angie also botched by Spiegel?

this is very disheartening, Im scared of surgery as is ... better be a hon than have ruined for you r hard-earned money

>>8442532
Yikes I would never go to spiegel. Things like this make me second guess if I even want to go to facial team.

>>8443278
I cant stand what I see in the mirror
I really need to try hrt even if I wont ever transition, at least maybe I will look less masc and hate myself less?

>>8443357
Iktf. I repressed for awhile and I've gotten to the point I want to try HRT even if I don't pass because I just want to feel better.

>>8441486
How much did you change between 18 and 21 and 16 and 18? What about 21 and 25. Just curious

>>8441424
My bell already rang but I said fuck it not gonna transition.

>>8441442
I Started smoking weed, it seems to help.
Doesnt make it go away but it becomes more managable.

>>8441486
As you get more masc you'll feel even less comfortable transitioning. So in a way it gets easier. For me, I was so repressed for much of my life that I didnt even think about being too masc to transition.

>>8441541
Good point. I'm past 30 so its easier to keep repressing when all hope is lost and T has masculinized your mind.

>>8441882
Coming from an alt-right background and being exposed to the most delusional, mentally ill trannies the internet has to offer has really soured me on transition.

>>8442358
As a repressor at least my masc face can attract androphiles. I'll have no surgical complications or botched results and i'll be $50k richer.

>>8443488
>Coming from an alt-right background
What's it like being trans and coming from there?

>>8443503
Well it makes repression easier for one thing. It also causes a lot of self hatred. It also gives you a very messed up inaccurate view of the condition.

Imagine seeing mentally ill AGPs, hating them, knowing your like them, but feeling like your too red pilled to ever become them. Yet no matter how masc or normie you try to be the AGP is always lurking inside you.

>>8443718
How /pol/ are your views now?

>>8442886
>textbook
[citation needed]

>>8443488
People say weed helps. If they ever legalize it in Australia, or if my "bell goes off" and it's trap myself or suicide, I'll try it.

Fuck being AGP, dysphoria is horrible and repression makes it better. Probably going to get the fuck off this board soon and try to "live".

Life is suffering regardless of whether you're AGP or not, and I'm pretty sure it's impossible for me to be happy under any outcome, but as with everything in life just gotta keep survivin'

Im 37

I haven't transitioned because I'm 6'2 with a deep voice.

I figure that no matter how feminine my face ends up looking those will always hold me back and I'll look like some horrible goblin.

I get bad AGP and want to be a girl so badly but I can't because of the above.

It's hell :(

>>8443946
I'm 6'4, shoulders broader than a bus and non-transitioning non-hrt agp myself.

Indeed, it is hell, but life is suffering after all.

Just need to keep fighting, every day is a battle.

>>8441452
Get's harder as you get older. Tick tock, time a wasting. Testosterone starts to drop and GID worsens.

At least true for me. Repressing 30 years and now faced with that do I transition or stay the course?

>>8443965
What are we fighting for though? It just feels like such an impossibility.

Idk what I'm even waiting for, unless through some miracle brain transplants become a reality in the near future then I'm not sure there is any hope for me or anything to wait for.

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>>8444196
I'd like my brain placed into a custom designed body like this. Be nice if it was disease resistant so I could become a proper slut.

>>8444196
I still struggle with the "why". It's the biggest problem in my life, and the main reason I often fall into terrible moods. I call it the purpose question. There's two answers - wait for vr/braintransplants/so on, or find something that makes your life worth meaning and have purpose even when everything is suffering.

Can't help you there, still struggle with it myself.

>>8443753
Kinda like a softer gentler /pol/. I'm still pro trump and nationalist/populist but i'm against some of the more extreme stuff. I'm trying to keep an open mind towards blue pilled cucky stuff, because if the alt-right is wrong on AGP maybe they're wrong on other things too.

>>8443929
I too will have to leave the board soon, its the only way to repress.

>>8444070
Why does low T make GID worse?

>>8441405
I'm in this boat and I feel suicidal. Masturbation makes me feel horrible (touching my male genitals) and then ashamed afterwords.. But when I finish masturbating, it clears my head from all the thoughts of wanting to transition..

Does this mean that wanting to transition is just a fetish or is it the real me? How do I choose what to do when whatever I do I feel like I want to end it?

>>8444235
futurist escapism isn't the answer and never is. you've gotta live life for now, not just living to preserve yourself for a future that will likely never come.

that said, I'm still totally rooting for having my brain dumped into a computer so I can live forever, but that's more fear of non-existence than it is gender shit.

>>8444221
This except I wouldn't be a slut, I'd find a guy to love me and care for me and be his best friend and helper.

>>8443357
>>8443367
I guess our best bet would be to wait until we finally break down. I hope it happens soon enough, because otherwise I'll have to keep repressing for the rest of my life.

>>8444247
This is how I feel about politics, myself.

>>8444260
There is no life to live, for me personally. Even if I did transition, things would be no better than today, only worse at the end of the day.

I've never lived life for now, and transitioning would not fix my many other problems. The future is the only hope for some people.

>>8443488
T masculinizes your mind? I want to feel that.

>>8444307
I'm an AGP with high T naturally to make things worse, and I can assure you, T doesn't do anything to masculinize your brain.

>>8444323
Fuck. I was hoping it would.

>>8444336
But I've heard if you're a girl on the inside, E can feminize your brain somewhat.

>>8444307
>>8444323
I feel like i'm more masc mentally in my 30s than in my 20s though. Like when I was younger I was more childish, shy and feminine. Now I do feel more like a man, but not a normie one.

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>>8444307
It makes you feel like you can do anything.
It makes you happy all the time.
It makes you feel confidently sexy about your body, even when you can objectively see that you look like shit.
>>8444323
You obviously suffer from low T or mental illness or both.
Being male is an amazing drug.

>>8444429
Mental illness. I've been tested, I have high T.
I do have a shitload of mental illness however.

AGP reee

>>8444247
>Why does low T make GID worse?
Not her, but was in same situation last year. I decided to go for it - I seem to have not masculinized more than about 30% of most older people.

Anyway, the reason is simple: T provides drive, and repression is pretty much reliant on having the drive to keep yourself distacted 24/7. When T begins to drop, so does drive, and when your distractions are gone, well.....

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>>8443313
I was hit by zukowski which he screwed up my jaw which I had to get fixed.
He also messed up my voice quite a bit which I had to work on even harder to get it back to the way it was

>>8444426
Well that's just becoming an adult, really.
In your 20s, you're still young. Less hardened.

>>8444389
Placebo effect/honscience.

>>8444483
We're all hons here, honey.

/honhonhonhon/

>>8444461
Awww sheet, well looks like i'm screwed. I'd still rather attempt life as a man than take a chance on an unreliable treatment for a poorly understood condition. If I choose to hon out at 50 the world might be a much better place for trannies anyways.

>>8444389
>on the inside
If you're referring to the brain dimorphism theory, most people here treat it like scientology while praising a psychologist. If, on the other hand, you're referring to some kind of "soul" concept then nah, that's stupid.

>>8444389
if you're a girl on the inside you already have girly brain

>>8444591
I meant the "traditional" trans narrative.

>>8444591
Psychoanalytic theories will always be trendy and vogue to armchair queers who pour over 30+ year old studies trying to find some correlation for their lives. Hence why freud and lacan are trendy amongst the leftoliberals around 4chan as of late.