>Be a gay male >18 years old, in that period of life where

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>>8347909
>Anyways any tips to get out of this endless cycle of depression

Therapy

>>8347947
This

>>8347947
>Therapy

I had friends recommend this before but I honestly wouldn't know where to start.

I don't have money to pay for it, but I think insurance will cover the first few sessions at least.
How do I know I can trust the person talking to in Therapy?

Probably more important how the hell am I going to explain my parents I'm signing up for therapy because they think I'm doing pretty alright

I live in the Netherlands which I think has pretty good access to mental health care?
Not sure if my issues are worthy enough to actually have Therapy for it though

>>8347909

you sound almost exactly like me, except i pussied out of college and went for a gap year to put off trying to form relationships for another year

now i work night in a plastic factory, am tired all the time, hours mean i can't go out, surrounded by homophobic co-workers who would rip me to pieces if they found out i'm gay, and i'm still a kissless closted virgin

focus on your grades and work out your sexual hang ups over time - you can always improve your self esteem via improved grades, and others can sense that self-confidence.

make picking up your grades the first goal. then, get involved with as many interest groups at college as you can, not for bf purposes but to reconnect socially and help ease the depression and self-doubt as you allow your attitude to change

last of all should be sex - therapy might be needed here but hopefully you should be able to feel a change here if you follow the above tips

have a great day anon, remember the power is in your hands

>>8348069
Thank you for your reply, its pretty much the approach I'm trying to take at the moment and I'm somewhat succeeding.

I hope the best for you as well and that you'll get a better job soon

>>8348083

thanks for the wishes, i am going to my country's equivalent of college in september so then i will be back in your shoes, expect to see the same thread posted by me about how to obtain bf in a few months

hope you have some luck with therapy, i've considered it but wouldn't know where to start :/ i guess your college might offer it? is there mental health posters on the walls, or counselling offers?

sorry for bad english, i notice a few typos in my last post

>>8348096

*noticed, i type breddy gud

>>8348096
>sorry for bad english, i notice a few typos in my last post
Your English is good enough! No worries

>i guess your college might offer it? is there mental health posters on the walls, or counselling offers?

Definitely no posters I've seen of, I don't think they offer anything. I mean there are people you can talk to about concerns with your education but I think that's more about issues with home or college situations.

>i've considered it but wouldn't know where to start :/
I relate to this on all levels, I've been considering it for at least a year but where to start.
It just feels a bit scary as well

>I am going to my country's equivalent of college in september

Good luck!!

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>>8348117

if it is affecting your work, could you not explain that you are depressed and not mention the gay part? they might be able to refer you to someone, i'm guessing you're dutch from the above posts so if the therapy is covered by socialised medicine then you should be entitled to it, maybe try the national healthcare websites/

>it feels a bit scary
this is what got me replying, why are you scared of being helped? are you embarrassed to admit you are gay or that you are not sexually competent? if you can narrow down the issues you could maybe work on them yourself and not face the embarrassment of admitting it to someone

thanks for the good-luck wishes, i can't wait to leave my shitty jobs, i miss people of my own age

>>8348149
>this is what got me replying, why are you scared of being helped? are you embarrassed to admit you are gay or that you are not sexually competent?

Maybe, I really don't know. I know I'm not really embarrassed to be gay, all my close friends know. (But fair enough, I've always disclosed this over chat and not face to face).

I think its mostly because I feel like the therapist would judge me. Which I know is very unlikely, but I can't shake the feeling.
I'm afraid of being open to anyone irl, especially someone older then me I barely know. Mostly of this constant fear of judgement. Online you can logout and just cry in a pillow or lay down but face to face you have to deal with it until you're in a private area again.

That its a big step doesn't make it easier either, because once you tell your parents like. Yeah I signed up for therapy there is no way back. I also think it would worry them and since they're always busy working I don't to risk their stability as well

>>8348183
Go to therapy. It will take some time but you will learn that your therapist has met many worse people. i remember that i was really afraid to tell my therapist some stuff in the beginning and now i could tell her anything

a good therapist will give you homework and make sure you're working on strategies to improve your life

Even if you have to try a few it's still worth it. I went to one in HS i never connected with. I go to school in Manhattan and my new therapist in the city is awesome. Even takes texts if I have a quick question

>>8348183

>i am afraid of being open

this is me, i'm totally closeted irl and afraid of any kind of relationship because that would force me to confront myself, if you are over that why would your parents need to know about therapy? they would probably rather know that you were getting help rather than suffering in silence and lowering your grades for it. therapists are guaranteed to have heard it all before, they aren't going to be harsh to you

>>8348199
this sounds what i would have expected but wouldn't know, would therapy work for someone like me? i could probably try it at college, also going to school in manhattan sounds really cool, i'm jealous. nice to hear that you found a good therapist.

>>8348199
>Go to therapy.
I'm going to consider my options

I just looked around and the biggest issue right now is money, because my health care does pay for therapy, but only after like €600 having paid myself (Deductible).

I'm way too broke so I don't think that's gonna work out very well without financial support for my parents paying for this. And I really don't want to get them too involved about it

20 and from holland here.
I flopped out of school, working for almost 2 years.
I too crush on every person who i think is homosexual (with little succes).
My advice is not ever quitting school, seek a decent psychologist. And the angry looking (masculine) gay guys can be very sympathetic and caring, believe me. They also have their shit just like you.

>>8348053
Look on regional websites for lgbt friendly therapists.

Reach out to your student representatives and say school stresses are getting to you and ask if they have a card for mental health options for students. If not right in your wallet some will at least get back to you or email you something.

There are almost always options, the key is making yourself seek them out. It isnt going to fall into your lap.

>Not sure if my issues are worthy enough to actually have Therapy for it though

If it impedes your happiness then it is worth addressing.

>>8347909
So you're sad because you can't be a bottom with another bottom, and you're not a top ?
Every single gay guy who believes anal sex has any interest one way or the other doesn't deserve a relationship. I'm so tired of that meme. Genuinely tired. Perhaps you'd be more satisfied with your love life if it didn't depended on a particular sex act, and a disgusting one at that. Sometimes i understand homophobes.

Just get a bf, doesn't even take any effort.

>>8350987

confirmed for shit dick.

>>8347909
Aww you like poor qt who I would want to protect.

Keep trying to find ways to put yourself out there. You have tons of time to figure your life out. All you have to do is be reasonably useful for someone or something.

You might feel lost now but this kind of trial and error and bumping into things not knowing what you're doing is hard to avoid. Try learning from it and refining what you do to reflect it.

>>8350996
Except i'm a virgin who never faps to anal sex, but you are free to believe and keep your delusion.

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>>8350987
>>8350996

Why do gay guys get so angry about this? I'm not into anal in either position but if the OP finds his inability to perform like this troublesome then let him try to work himself out without tearing him down.

This board sometimes

>>8350987
I think you're exaggerating a bit. I'm not 'sad' because I can't top, but it's part of the big everything that's bothering me.
But if I could top I would be able to please the cute submissive boys where I'm doomed to fall I love with and make it not be the jam in the relationship.

>and a disgusting one at that.
Because having the thing people urinate from in your month is that much better. If not for the urine be it for the sweat.
Sex is always gross when it comes down to details like that, but proper hygiene can do wonders.

>>8351022
Thanks for the kind words, I'm not giving up <3

Anyways thanks everyone for your responses, I'm going to look into therapy soon after I figured out the money issue. Therapy woudn't hurt and it's better then doing nothing to fix my issues

>>8347909
>>Every gay person I crush on is also a bottom because I can't find non scary tops.

This is not "your problem," this is literally everyone's problem.

>>8353066
In the sense that there aren't really gay tops. Eventually someone bites the bullet and will top for a while, but shortly after they will ask for their turn. This is when most "relationships" end.

>>8353068
There's always bisexuals and """str8""" guys

>>8350987
>>8353066
>>8353068
>>8353084
See ? That's what i was talking about. What's so wrong with frotting that you can't just do it ? Why do you have to do that ? If only this community would put itself in question sometimes.

>>8347909
Unless on stem or law, college is not only not required to not end up like shit, it also increases the chance because there's the debt to pay.

Cute people are bottoms because many people are bottoms, everyone wants to feel desired, it's only when you desire someone that you start feeling the need to be a top.

Lastly don't be on a hurry to get in a relationship, you'll most likely end up losing hope in humanity altogether, be yourself and wait until you AND another guy "click" at the same time.