Did repressing turn anyone else into a terrible person? I wasn't

I don't know if that's what made me exactly those things, but I am.

>>8278849
I'm pretty sure that's why I am the way I am. When I was a kid I wasn't like this and every year I seem to get worse.

The effect on repressing for me was more hiding from people and being alone all the time during my formative years, so I'm socially retarded and can't read signals at all.

Yep lol, me exactly the psychological effect is called 'leveling' where you make other people feel shit to make yourself feel better

>>8278899
>you make other people feel shit to make yourself feel better
Yeah this is basically what I do.

>>8278847
Being given the cold shoulder by my school's LGBT group gave me school shooter fantasies for a few months

>>8278847
>>8278849
>>8278860
>>8278899
Are you transitioning now or still repressing?

What mean-spirited things do you do?

Ive always been insufferable unless Im in a good mood
now Im just bitter all the time, I hate myself, I hate everyone

>>8279439
Still repressing but not sure how much longer I can. I'm just an asshole I don't help people, I'll say shit knowing it's going to upset people around me. Basically I act like I do on 4chan irl. The only people I'm ever actually nice to are trans people.

>>8279480
>I act like I do on 4chan irl
yeah same shit
worst part is that I dont even try to its part of my nature and I offend people not meaning to

>>8278847
Yea,I was pretty fucking awful pre-transition, I'm a lot better now, I no longer like, desire to get back at people for my own personal problems. Life still sucks though.

I had pretty bad anger issues and anxiety before I came to terms with it, after I accepted it and came out to people I got a lot better

>>8278847
Repressing did cause that, that's how I got into mra/pua/alt right stuff. Becoming a pot smoker and coming to terms with my transness/AGP helped alot. I've realized acting masc won't rid me of it, but just because I have it doesn't mean I need to transition.

>>8278847

Repression just turned me into a faceless background character, more scenery than person.

>>8280258
I always blamed that on extreme introversion although half of that could be repression. But I was shy and introverted as a child before the AGP hit however.

>>8280239
how mra/pua/alt right were you?

>>8278847
me too, except I'm mostly just extremely asocial

but people tell me I'm arrogant etc. so yeah

>>8278847
Hrt reversed it

>>8284982
Do you pass? Have a bf etc?

>>8279439
I'm making an appointment with my doctor tomorrow.
I've just been downright verbally cancerous with people.

>>8284990
I'm only a few months in, but just having the right fuel helps so much

>>8284995
How old are you?

>>8284992
>I've just been downright verbally cancerous with people.
I know the feeling. I actually lost most of my friends in the past few years. I'm a really hard to tolerate asshole.

>>8279439
Am taking money, I'm less cold to people/dickish but now I'm more sarcastic

>>8280312

True. I was shy when I was young. But getting to middle school and still being repressed took away from any desire to change or experience life. The prospect of living life as a man, didn't "inspire" me, as my father likes to say, to make a change and improve my life. There are shy characters, but they're still characters who have their own motivations and aspirations, background characters are just there to fill the scene and are as blank as their faces. What I'm talking about is a deprivation of personhood.

For example, during repression, I could feel something was missing and I felt a sadness and longing for it. I thought this feeling came from loneliness, but when I thought about what I would do if I could go back, I didn't feel there was a good reason for me to make friends the second time either.

>>8278847
>Did repressing turn anyone else into a terrible person?

Why would you need to be a repressing tranny to be a terrible person? I am a terrible person naturally.

>>8280324
Pretty bad I unironcally believed a lot of MRA and later alt-right talking points. However I tended to keep my beliefs to myself as I scared of rejection from normies and quite beta. Strangely enough I was never into 4chan, r9k and /pol/ would of been perfect for me 8 years ago.

>>8284995
Same. Before hrt, testosterone's edginess made me argumentative. But now estrogen's calmness has made me more patient and empathetic with people.

>>8287973
Which talking points and how did you get over that belief?

>>8288062
Oh stuff like men are vastly superior to women in all aspects, men have it worse than women in the west, most rapes are false accusations, all women are manipulative and backstabbing etc.

What caused a change is me getting tired of the hate. Also my transness started to awaken and I developed strong gender dysphoria. I no longer wanted to be this hateful "masc" redpilled man anymore.

Also working along side seemingly decent women for many years in retail started to cause cognitive dissonance with my red pill beliefs. I've seen decent women and terrible men. Reading r/gendercritcal helped open me to new perspectives some to. Seeing alt-right critques of MRA/PUA culture helped too.

I think my AGP/ transness started to cause me to emphasize with women in a way I've never been able to before.

Unfortunately I'm forever altered and I'm still somewhat receptive to some alt-right and MRA ideas. I wish I could go back to being a blue pilled nerd, but I don't wanna be a beta cuck either ya know?

>>8288229
Oh yes and weed smoking also helps with being less of a hateful person.

>>8279439
>Are you transitioning now or still repressing?

repressing/trying to ignore it but I know it won't work and I'd rather just kill myself desu

the only things I enjoy at this point are sleeping and eating (fat fuck)

>What mean-spirited things do you do?
bully trannies on the internet

>>8278847
yes