I am 100% sure I'll commit suicide one day. I can't

Hi friend! You are an important person, unlike no other! You are totally unique! Think of all the friends and family members you might leave behind, deep down, everyone cares for your well being! I have depression, getting medial attention such as pills, sleep, exercise, and a getting a therapist has helped me greatly!
Life is so much more! A good night sleep is a good way to restart your mental mind.

>>8270605
I'm pretty sure my life will end in suicide too anon. I feel bad almost everyday and I know I'll never be a real woman. No matter what I do or how many surgeries I get my best case scenario for life is to marry a chaser and adopt a kid. I do hope you feel better though anon as corny as it sounds I really do care about the people on /lgbt/.

>>8270617
I'm sorry I made this depressing post. I really hope you feel better anon.

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>one chance at life
>have evangelical parents
>born with gender dysphoria
>had feelings since 11
>get told by parents at 16 that they dont want to go out with me because people would think i am a 'transvestite' for having long hair
>too old too masculine to transition
>doomed to the little voice in my head

>>8270632
Dont be sorry, at this point I'm so happy I can talk to anyone and share this

LMAO you think you're special because you want to kill yourself? Join the club. Get in line. Etc. Everyone here has tried to kill themselves, it doesn't make you a snowflake. I jumped off a building. Still dragging on though.

>>8270650
sorry

>>8270605
>>8270617
this desu senpai
>>8270615
>Think of all the friends and family members you might leave behind, deep down, everyone cares for your well being!
I pull this trip everyday, only reason I still leave otherwise 11yo would've gone under that bus all those years ago.

>>8270650
You don't have to be an asshole to them. Sure lots of us want to die you're right. Op is probably just feeling bad and wanted to talk about it somewhere.

>>8270655
Don't be sorry.

My gf is the only reason I haven't killed myself yet, but I sometimes just wish she broke up with me so I could finally do it without inconveniencing anyone. I feel so horrible, and this community is the only one I ever told this

>>8270650
wow thats fucking metal, how high?

>>8270615
Why live if I will always be ugly and hate my body?

Why live if you will always be treated worse than others because you are different?

>>8270605
>>8270617
>>8270634
>>8270677
>>8272543
Do you truly, truly believe that there is absolutely nothing at all that you could do to find happiness in this world? That there is no chance for things to turn out right?

>>8272586
I'm >>8270617
I think there are things that would make me happy but I think that I will never be able to overcome my depression. Like I said I could marry someone and they might be great but in the back of my mind I would always question why would he choose me a defective girl? I can't have a real kid either so my best case scenario in life is decent but still depressing. I have some hope though I haven't completely given up but I know odds are against me and I'll always be somewhat depressed.

>>8272620
I'm sorry.
I think that you owe it to yourself to try and be happy, however slim the chances may seem. I think that much of what you've spoken of can be, at least to a degree, overcome in time, through love and effort. Please keep at it. Please don't give up. Please keep striving for more.

I want to kms too, pretty common for here I guess. I'm not even a tranny or anything, just depressed as hell. I kept it together better when I had a gf, but now that's over and there's not much left to live for. I just don't want my parents to be sad.

Anyway, you suicidal anons aren't alone, and it's not much, but I wish you all the best.

I think I'll be doing it when my parents are out of town soon.

>>8272677
I hope you don't do it anon.

>>8272677
Please don't. Whatever your problem is, there's a good chance that you can either fix it, mitigate it or find a way to be happy despite having it. There's hope.

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>>8270605
Yeah me too probably. When it occurs to me to do it I try to just ignore it.

>>8272710
Yeah, that's what I say to other people, too. I guess that makes me a hypocrite because I still want to.

No one reading this would know anyway.

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Hey, if you live in the North West of the UK, maybe even a bit of the midlands, I will find you and stop you from killing yourself. I will buy you... probably just something from a Gregg's, because I don't have much money, and I'll have spent most of it getting there in the first place. In fact, if there's an Asda near by, they do good pasties at very reasonable rates. You know, a lot of supermarket pasties aren't so good, but Asda's are made by a third party, and it really shows. I don't know if you've ever had a Morrison's pasty, but they're just dreadful; doughy pastry, thoughtless fillings and frankly they're too large for an on-the-go meal like that, I shouldn't have to expect a stitch with lunch. In fact, all Morrison's savoury baked goods are very poor. Bad salad bar too. Decent sweet baked stuff, I'll give them that. You know something else, if you've got an M&S nearby, check that out, they do these large-ish, pink, hexagonal boxes of Turkish Delight for two quid, or thereabouts, worth a look if you're into that sort of thing. But I'm trying to avoid refined sugar these days.

So, yeah, don't kill yourself, maybe just snack more. Or less, if that's the problem to begin with.

>>8272764
>500 word essay comparing supermarket bakeries
Too bad you're on a different continent. I would like a pasty.

>>8272763
You're right I wouldn't know I still do care though. I want to kill myself all the time and believe me being an unpassable hon is fucking hell. I still hold onto some hope though plus my parents would be sad if I died and yours would be if you died. At least try to hold out for another few years and see if anything gets better.

>>8272775
Yeah, I believe you. Actually that makes me feel vicariously bad, I don't even know what I'd do in that situation. I hope you're alright though, having hope is good. And you're right that your future is likely to look up, as is mine. But a few years is a long time to wait like this.

My parents, one friend, and apparently you now are the only people who would care. There are others I care about that don't care if I live or die anymore, and that knowledge is very saddening.

>>8272775
>>8272817
For what it's worth I care about both of you and hope you do well. I think you might have to do something to improve your situation though. It sucks that it falls to you to help yourself but that's how it is. You have to find the strength to seek help. Please do so.

>>8272586
I'm trying but I don't see much of a future for myself. I'm ugly and over 25. The best I can achieve is the generic bald,beard,muscles combo. Only fat slobs are ever interested in me and I'm worried that is all I can ever attract.

>>8270605
I know damn well I am. I'm not going to be able to afford a long retirement the way the economy's fucked me over, and my joints won't last anyway.
I'm just not going to bother putting much aside for retirement, or bother eating carefully to avoid heart attacks. When I get too old and broke, I'm just going to buy a fast motorbike and drive off a high bridge at speed, and have a living will demanding I not be resuscitated.

>>8270650
How many storeys and how high? I plan on 13 storeys, hope it is enough

>>8272764
Morrisons are shit in general. Trying and failing to emulate tesco, without the ability to push suppliers and local governments around.

Any supermarket pasty is going to be bad. Find a small independent shop for quality goods.

However, sausage rolls are a different story. Walls shed flaky pasty everywhere, but Tesco own brand ones are just right.
Avoid the bbq ones, though. Not nice.

>>8270605
Welcome to the club. I'm not sure my condolences mean anything, but I hope things get better for you, along with everyone else here.

>>8270605
Me too. The biggest thing holding me back at this point is knowing how much it'll hurt my parents when I do. Sometimes I wish they didn't love me as much as they do so I could just get it over with already. I wish that I could trade my good health for some young kid's cancer.

Join the French Foreign Legion today!

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1) Fought with suicidal thoughts in what seems like another life to me, anon. It's tough. Depression- let alone suicidal thoughts- is an entirely different mindset. I honestly don't consider a depressed person "sober" because of it, so different was my perspective once I escaped it (largely). Biggest thing that helped me was forcing myself, day by day, to get outside and just interact. One day my goal for the day was to put a $5 in the bank by talking to a teller, I shit you not. Another day's was going to the grocery store. I ultimately volunteered somewhere- helping others and talking to them helped me. Saw a doctor too, whom helped me get on vitamins to bring my health up through vitamins and a very loosely suggested diet (poor nutrition during the course of depression). I started jogging lightly in the mornings. No one thing was the key to it all but, together, over time, life did get better. I went back to school, met a great girl when I wasn't looking AT ALL to date anyone, got a job I enjoyed by taking a gamble and trying something new, the rest is history. It sounds crazy now, but things CAN get better. I was all but bed-ridden by depression four years ago. I am not that person anymore- you can change so much in even just a year. Cheers, friend. In the meantime, come up with a battle plan, an "IF X THEN Y" plan for approaching suicidal thoughts. If *nothing* else, would you call a hotline? Please? For you, even if you don't feel it right now.

2) Ruka caught your interest too? That character scratched an itch I'd long since been ignoring. Whether I go further down the rabbit hole into more than just trans-questioning (let me be honest, I'm trans just without swallowing that yet), the fact remains that this character did plenty to make me really consider LGBTQ issues and experience for the first real time in my life, throwing wide the door for tolerance and wanting to understand more. I am a social worker: I will be one hell of an ally. All thanks to Ruka.

>>8270634
I'm willing to bet that you aren't in your 70s. I think you vastly underestimate just what they can do so far as transitioning today. Unless there are severe medical risks, no, you aren't too old to transition, if that's the only thing holding you back.

This works for you and OP both: consider for a moment if everything were perfect. You were happy. What's changed in that fantasy? What are some small steps you can take right now or in the next hour or so to either work toward some of those things (aim for the smaller changes first if you can), or else to improve your mood in general? I usually get a soda and watch Youtube.

You either kill yourself or your don't.
Life will go on. Everyone else will eventually follow you and travel on, too. Or so it seems...
I thought about killing myself. And now I just live in the moment not caring about past and future.

>>8270615
>Think of all the friends and family members you might leave behind

You should never say stuff like that to people with suicidal thoughts. It's just more accusing and emphasizing the fact life is only worth living for other people.

>>8278577
how do you find any motivation to do any of that meaningless shit when you have nothing to look forward to you cant even get yourself to go out and buy food while starving

>>8278965
It helped me just to have something to look forward to every day. I went through a phase where I got into soap operas and just wanting to see the next episode gave me something to look forward to. If you can find something to be interested in, some project to get caught up in, that might be enough to get you through to the next day.

>>8278727
Speak for yourself. Knowing that it would be hurtful to my family and friends is literally the only thing keeping me from doing it.

I'm sure I will commit suicide too but then all my stuff and money will go to my family who have condemned me all my life, what do?

>>8284831
spend it all on FFS

>>8284831
>what do?
Make a will, leave it to a worthy charity?

>>8284906
Either this or make it your goal to get rid of everything first.

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>>8270605
I'm ready to commit suicide now that 2 Broke Girls got cancelled!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BUBNwg9BBkK/?taken-by=katdenningsss

>>8285393
It's a shit, racist show.

>>8272764
>>8274085
You guys are leaving out co-op, the sausage rolls in co-op are seriously good, you get 6 half sized ones for £1.09. Fucking bargain. Then you got there cookies, you get them when they first are put on shelves there soft as hell. They don't crumble they melt. And don't even get me started on the baguettes, always crispy and always soft.

>>8270605
Don't kill yourself.
Live with sorrow.

>>8287102
Why?

>>8287079
But the co-op is a shit company, with stores in the absolute worst locations and terrible stock quality. How are you sure that's even pork in there?

Also, tesco special offers tend to be cheaper. Especially once you tack on my staff discount.

>>8270605
Iktf
I just wonder when and how

I have nowhere else to go than here but I unironically get triggered every day

>>8274085
Morrisons make the best bread and have the best butchers out of all the British supermarkets, at least in my experience.

>>8290889
I'm sorry that happens anon. If it makes you feel better I don't fit in anywhere but here either. I don't really have friends outside of the internet. I hope you feel better though.

>>8290929
Tesco bread is best, by far. At least, when you find the right sort of loaf.

The really thick stuff is lovely, but like biting into a pillow. The stay-fresh stuff is godawful, though.

>>8290938
I appreciate the sentiment. Unfortunately I am too old for my problems to be solved. I hope you feel better though

>>8270605
But how? Suicide is very difficult.

>>8280585
this t bh desu f am senpai

>>8270690
It was the shed in my back yard so idk maybe like 5 feet?

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>>8270605
Please don't kill yourself desu.

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I'm too scared to do it alone. Someone do it with me pls

>>8270658
pics or it didnt happen.

>>8297871
?

>>8297876
im a fuckin idiot i meant that for the person who said they jumped off a building in order to one-up the suicidal OP lmao

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>>8270605
I'm sorry to hear that, i can't really say anything to cheer you up. I'm in the same boat but it's mainly because i'm lonely and think it's impossible for me to get a boyfriend ever again.
Fucking trannies are doomed to be lonely and die alone.

Anyway, be well.

>>8297972
that picture ;~;
ill be ur bf desu

>>8297853
yeah it pretty scary to live alone

>>8270605
same desu

at the moment, thinking about committing suicide and being done with life in the near future eases my nerves in a weird morbid way :/

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>>8298274
Thanks for saying that but i don't think you'll like me. It's not that i don't pass, i'm not a hon and theoretically stealth, but my character is apparantly shit. I can't bear children and i'm a mess with no money.
.. still, ASL?

>>8298464
Lot and your sad no one will date you lol!!!!! Your a mess with money probably a gold digger

>>8298479
>lot and your sad and your mess gold digger yes
learn to speak english

>>8270605
Try DMT
>Nothing to lose...

>>8298464
19m uk

>>8270605
I too am incredibly suicidal atm. Dunno what to do at this point.

It sort of goes away as you get older. I was really depressed when younger and very close to suicide but the feelings went away. I still think about it a lot, and I'm still pretty depressed, still have horrible anxiety, but I somehow just keep chugging along. I think I'll probably crack one day though because of the accumulation of the effects of my depression are starting to drive my life in the wrong direction.
If you know what's causing your depression I'd recommend just getting help though. Personally I've suffered so long from it that I can't pinpoint any specific cause anymore. Even if I committed suicide I wouldn't even be able to write a suicide note because I wouldn't know what to put on it.

>>8301338
What if the cause of your depression cannot be fixed tho?

Why kill yourself if you can drink lots of alcohol and smoke to forget the depression.

Haha i'm miserable. It seems that it's pretty common to feel like that nowadays. I'd say you should "wait another minute", i mean, in my case, i'm waiting to see how i'll be when i'm 27. Maybe i can fix my life and keep going. If nothing interesting happens i will just put a bullet in my head.

But try again, find something you'd like to do, or maybe go with the flow how you're suposed to do, and maybe you will find something you like or someone to love, idk what life has to offer, but don't you agree theres must be something for life to offer to us?

>>8302167
Life has a lot less to offer if you are ugly.

Right now I expect to die alone but at least I won't die old and alone. As you get older and have less free time it becomes harder to maintain friendships. My group still gets together once or twice a week but as they start having kids that will fall off. I refuse to settle for whatever trash comes my way and I doubt I will ever be good enough to get anything better. What future is worth seeing when I will be completely alone in a few years?

The way I put it earlier is that I'm a 4/10 surrounded by 2s and 7s. Even after I'm at my goal weight and put on some muscle and get abs I will at best be a generic 5/10.

>tfw in same boat
>born trans
>about to turn 20
>no hope of ever passing
>family isn't even terrible but idk how they'd react to me being trans
>feel guilty because they seem like they care about me and killing myself might make them feel bad
>even though it's me that's defective and not their fault
>gotten bad enough i just lay in bed all day and think about dying
>grades in college are shit now
i wish i was never born it's the worst shit ever

>>8300032
I did DMT, didnt help shit.

>>8270634
>le ebil christfags trying to keep me from habing a feminine benis

At least make some attempt to not dissapoint them.

Kill urself faggot

>>8270605
In that case, find a suitable phobic asshat and take them down with you.

Instead of being an hero, be an martyr.

>>8303673
A better plan would be to pass out on Bourbon and cigars every night untill your liver and your lungs are so fucked that you end up dying. Then no one could accuse you of suicide. Or go Columbine.

>>8302601
Have you started HRT yet?

>>8304241
no

>>8304316
Maybe you could start HRT and see if it helps. You won't have to tell your family or anyone else right away.

>>8287102
That's my plan.

>>8270615
>unlike no other!
>~~(like other)
>(like other)
Due to double negation elimination, this means you are saying that the OP is the same as everyone else. That symbolic logic class was actually useful for once.

>>8270605
>>8270617
You ladies want a snuggle?