I'm thinking of detransitioning, lgbt. I was assigned

>>8229870
How far have you transitioned? Time on HRT, what surgery, etc?

What is it that you disliked about being female? What isn't you about being a man?

When you say being a gay man is harder, in what way do you mean?

Ignoring your actual options, if you could choose between being a tall guy with dick and a woman with tits and not masculinized, which appeals most?

I'm sorry to hear that transitioning didn't work out for you. I sort of went through the same thing, but luckily I realized transitioning wasn't what I wanted before I saved up enough money for top surgery.

My advice is to find other detransitioned women (there's a small but growing community on youtube/tumblr, Cari Stella comes to mind) and see what they've posted about their experiences. Detransitioning is totally possible even after top surgery and years of T.

I think a good first step is to look for catalysts of your depression besides your gender situation.
You said transitioning showed you that dysphoria wasn't the only thing that was bothering you, I don't think detransitioning would be a cure-all either. It won't necessarily affect this depression that stayed around after your transition.
So what are some things that make you sad or frustrated besides your regrets about transitioning?

>>8229870
That sucks anon I'm afraid of this happening to me but I'm mtf. Hope you end up happier whatever you decide to do.

>>8229870
Ella mayo

Being any kind of man is harder than being a woman. Females btfo!

>>8229913
3 years on t, top surgery
>What is it that you disliked about being female?
I had feelings of inferiority over being female that I think were caused by my parents' relationship when I was young. I felt like men were better and women were basically their property. Obviously I know that isn't true now, but on some level I still associate being a woman with shame and inferiority.
>What isn't you about being a man?
I don't know, I just don't feel like a man. I still feel like a teenage girl, like nothing has changed.
>When you say being a gay man is harder, in what way do you mean?
socially. I have a harder time getting dates or even people who might date me. and i have a harder time making friends. i relate more to women, but they don't relate the same way to me.
>Ignoring your actual options, if you could choose between being a tall guy with dick and a woman with tits and not masculinized, which appeals most?
I don't even care desu. I just want to be a normal, happy person. I guess my ideal self would still be male, but I wish I hadn't transitioned.
>>8229921
I'm glad you didn't get too far before realizing.
she looks and sounds horrible...
>>8229933
you're right, maybe i should try to address other issues and put gender on the back burner for a while. but i don't really know what my other issues are.

>>8230024
>but i don't really know what my other issues are
It's possible you could figure that out, though. Maybe see a therapist if that's an option? Ask a friend or a family member about what they think upsets you? At least for me, depression was the echoes of more immediate emotional responses, and I was eventually able to connect the reverberations to their roots.
Think about some things that upset you in your day to day life, ask yourself what you don't like about them. Get as generalized as you can. Figuring out why things annoy you or bum you out could lead you to larger discoveries about what you believe, why you believe it. how it affects your overall mood, and how you might want to change your outlook for the better.

>>8229921
What's your identity now?

>>8230024
>I felt like men were better and women were basically their property. Obviously I know that isn't true now, but on some level I still associate being a woman with shame and inferiority.
Can you elaborate on your feelings about men and women, then and now?

>I don't know, I just don't feel like a man. I still feel like a teenage girl, like nothing has changed.
What did you expect to change> In what way do you feel like a teenage girl? How old are you now?

>I guess my ideal self would still be male, but I wish I hadn't transitioned.
What do you mean? You'd prefer to be a cis man but not a trans man? You like being male physically but don't like the social consequences?

>>8230116
>What's your identity now?
cis woman.

>>8230222
And orientation? You're here, so lesbian?

Why did you think you should be male and why did you stop thinking so?

>>8230116
>Can you elaborate on your feelings about men and women, then and now?
then - I thought that men were in charge/ better than women and women had to do as they're told and if they didn't then men would use violence to keep them in line. also that the female body was inferior for being weaker and not having a penis. women's clothing somehow seemed oppressive to me because it was uncomfortable and, well, feminine.
now - I see men and women as equals in most things, but I still have the impression that the female body is inferior and that women's clothing is oppressive. When I see a woman who's confident in her body and her sexuality it boggles my mind that she isn't ashamed and embarrassed to be the inferior sex and to be attracted to people who are better than her, basically admitting her inferiority in my twisted view.
I know that's probably really unhealthy...
>What did you expect to change> In what way do you feel like a teenage girl? How old are you now?
I thought I would have the superiority and authority of manhood or something ridiculous like that. Instead I feel no different. When I see other men acting alpha and stuff it seems totally foreign to me until I'm like "oh wait I'm a man too." but in my head most of the time it doesn't occur to me that I am. I'm 21.
>What do you mean?
If I could build myself from scratch I'd be male. But I would have been better off staying a normal cis woman than becoming something in the middle.

>>8229870
haha oh my god women are pathetic

God this is like my worst fear. Sometimes I wonder if I only hate being male because I subconsciously think men are evil or something.

>>8230224
Bi with a preference for women.
I fell for the nonbinary meme and started binding to look more androgynous. Binding made my chest dysphoria grow out of control and started saving for surgery. Then I decided to explore outside of the echo chamber and I learned how dangerous it was to be binding. I stopped, and my dysphoria diminished over time. I also stopped drinking the queer theory koolaid and realized nonbinary was a meaningless identity that made your life harder for no reason, so I reidentified as a woman.

>>8230024
>she looks and sounds horrible
yeah, her voice isn't the best, but I think she looks like a normal woman. My point is there's a pretty large community out there if you want to reach out to someone.

>>8230239
>but I still have the impression that the female body is inferior and that women's clothing is oppressive.
Well clothing and physical strength are much less than personality and thoughts. Those are what really define people.

>and to be attracted to people who are better than her,
Ignoring sex, what feels shameful/embarrassing about being attracted to someone better?

>until I'm like "oh wait I'm a man too." but in my head most of the time it doesn't occur to me that I am.
Why do you think you don't feel like a man in this way? In day to day life how does forgetting you're a man affect you?

>If I could build myself from scratch I'd be male.
What if mentally you'd still have the same thing of forgetting you are male?

>>8230335
Why do those doubts ocure to you?

What age did you transition? How did your hate of being male begin?

>>8230349
>nonbinary was a meaningless identity that made your life harder for no reason, so I reidentified as a woman.
Isn't that so for identifying and men and women too?

>>8230425
>Isn't that so for identifying and men and women too?
Maybe "reidentified" isn't the best word. I don't really have an internal "gender identity." I'm just female, and I don't feel the need to transition, therefore I am a woman. I'd argue that most cis people without exposure to "queer theory" feel the same way about their gender.
If anything, my "gender identity" has more to do with how I relate to other women and the lesbian/bi woman community. When I say nonbinary was "a meaningless identity that made my life harder" I mean that I was cutting myself off from these communities and mentally designating myself as "other" for no reason, and that shit's lonely.