>tfw i'm 21 wasting my youth away trying to make myself

File: a2aaf90e9174fd8f18603dbdc4350714c7297af3_hq.gif (977KB, 268x180px) Image search: [Google]

977KB, 268x180px

>>8148590
It gets better when you start taking hormones and/or antidepressants

T. Femboy sub that has struggled with this for years

>>8148609
been on both for over 7 months now, antidepressants do nothing. the only thing that can make me happy is him, and he does. but he can't always.

hrt has been.. disappointing. the slow progress is making me only more and more aware of how bad my chances are. my height, my shoulders. they're just huge. i saw slow progress because i guess i have man boobs now, but i can't say there's been anything else.

i just want to be his girlfriend. an actual girl. i want him to look at me and see his girlfriend. not a man.

File: oh its this shit again.jpg (9KB, 240x200px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 240x200px

>>8148590
Damn, your anguish resonates with me.

I use to feel the same way as you are now.

Even now still occasionally do, but I learned that I have one life and so does he.
That it would be stupid to waste it all the misery that comes up when issues like this emerge.

We've got tons of mental demons screaming at us, we don't need it in our love lives.

He's obviously with you for a reason.
So do whatever you can to make him happy without compromising your integrity.

Commit yourself to your happiness and his, if he's intelligent he'll pick up on it and follow suit.

-t.27yr old IS TS gril

>>8148626
He says such amazing things and constantly tells me how happy I make him.

But I just don't think I can for long, I don't understand why I can at all.

>>8148620
which hrt meds and what dose are you on?

>>8148673
Cypro and progynova, 12.5mg and 4mg respectively

>>8148590
if you love yourself it'll be easier for him to love you too

>>8148678
I hate myself, I always have. I've got nothing to like about myself. Nobody makes me more miserable than me.

File: I cannot believe you've done thiws.jpg (9KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 259x194px

>>8148672
Either you love/like this guy or you don't.

If you think that you cannot, they you're right and you should just dump him and go wallow in your own sadness.

Because that is the alternative.

Whatever you've been doing is obviously working, so what the fuck is your damage then?

Shit or get off the pot in that sense.

>Cypro and progynova, 12.5mg and 4mg respectively
Is this self-medding or actual prescribed?

Also, get an orchiectomy and stop that t-blocker shit.

File: GTFO.jpg (26KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 480x480px

>>8148681
>>regressive self-hate generic nonsense

I'm out.

>>8148681
you have to confront those feelings head on with honesty and truthfulness. if you understand why you hate yourself then you'll have a better chance of dealing with it. i dont really know how to express what im saying in some comprehensible form but i really truly feel you here

>>8148683
Self medding. I can't afford an orchi, I want one desperately.

I do love him. I love him so much. I need him in my life, he's everything to me. He makes me feel so many different ways I've never felt before and I love it.

But I'm terrified of losing him before I have the chance to be myself and actually be with him. I've never been in a relationship that felt like this, but I've also lost every friendship I've ever had. And they all told me it was my fault.

>>8148689
I hate myself for looking like a man and being a man. I hate that I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and can't accomplish anything because of my dysphoria. I need to transition to start my life, but I'm not sure if transition will work.

I'm just lost. With everything.

I don't know what to do and I'm scared that I can't do it.

File: f36a52fe5a97f07c020eca7590c00dd8.jpg (40KB, 736x414px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 736x414px

>>8148620
I'm in the same place at 24, 6 months in
There are many types of antidepressants, I had to try three different types before I found that effexor was the best one for me.

What helped me through this period is to simply take it at face value that he loved me.

>>8148590
>having a relationship

You've already beaten me anon, so be happy about that atleast. Being alone is horrible.

>>8148698
>>8151006
Seconding that it can take time to find the anti depressant that works for you. You might want to talk with your doctor about trying something else.

You've got your brain beating you the fuck up, anon. Recognize that that's the core problem here. It sounds like you're on track to improving your situation. You're getting help with your brain. You're getting hormones. You're both still young. You both have time. You're early on with HRT, give it some time. (Although if you can get with an actual doctor, it's a good plan for long term.) And don't worry about shoulders or height- cis women get those too. There's plenty of that in my family.

Also realize that estrogen is probably making you more emotional. Results vary but overall estrogen means you're gonna feel some stuff a bit harder.

antidepressants are a bit of voodoo, if the starter meds don't work for you there are like 5 others that works in slightly other ways, and then then are other classes of antidepressants, then there are combos of drugs, just saying it takes time to get the right match with good effect and minimal side effects.

Back when depression was kicking my ass, drug use helped me, specifically nutmeg, that shit will take a weekend out of you life and make you feel nice and unable to think deeply about anything, and you sleep so good, not saying do it, saying it helped me to take breaks from the depression.

>>8154172
nutmeg? i heard it was a MAOI but i didn't think a human could take enough to have notable psychoactive effects. how much did you take and how do you stop it from tasting like super concentrated shit?

>>8154172
What is this nutmeg? I've never heard of this drug before, only know its some kinda nut

>>8148620
>antidepressents do nothing
then stop wasting money on them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHfjvYzr-3g
anyway stop being a shit and watch this. Everyone has your problem, its awful and it sucks but you are the only one who can drag your ass out of it, wrap one arm around your lover, him you, and fucking carry both loads together up the hill.

>>8154765
>depression is just a state of mind, bro! Just be happy!

File: 1482134883603.jpg (12KB, 552x309px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 552x309px

>>8148590
>trying to make myself not a hon
>tfw will always be a hon

>>8148590
>>8148626
>tfw 22 and secretly on hormones with a relationship with a guy who broke up with me when i said i was trans
>only able to get this relationship because he wants a sub and im so weak


is it better to be abused than be alone?

You need a fair bit, think it's 1g pr 5 kilo body mass, but look that up, I massed whole fresh nuts in a spice mortar, then mix a small shot with chocolate milk, and have more chocolate milk ready, it does taste like shit, and it takes a long time to kick in like 6 hours, it is possible to take a deadly overdose so do the math right and wait for it to kick in, it is not really a convenient drug, and some people just feels like shit on it, but it's cheap and legal, for me it was only worth the hassle back when the depression was making me feel like shit, now I just can't find the time to be f'ed up for that long,

>>8148590
>lack of confidence
Here is you're problem
Everything will be fine anon