So when is your suicide going to be, /lgbt/? I'm not sure

>>8147078
*Ahem*

>>8143119

>>8147078
Look how thick her neck is. She's doomed to be a hon.

>>8147093

No matter how good a man is, he can't make up for the lost years of my childhood and adolescence or the cold relationship I have with my family. This sadness isn't about lacking a relationship. It's just the question of what could have been is too great whenever I think about improving. I would already have what I'm after and more if the right things had happened in the past.

I don't live in the UK and have no intention of going there. I bet you have a cute accent though. Maybe this will sound like I'm being too harsh with myself, but I don't think I would date a man if I weren't up to my standard regardless of his quality.

I started thinking about killing myself after my brother's graduation a while ago, now the years have passed and it will be this summer. I think that's the best time while still being reasonable to myself. If my brother enters depression after, at least the school year will be over so he can't ruin his GPA. Everyone else is an adult as well, and old enough to deal with their grief themselves.

>>8147249
>It's just the question of what could have been is too great whenever I think about improving. I would already have what I'm after and more if the right things had happened in the past.
What would have been? What would you have?

I'm a terrible planner, and still got shit to do, so I'd rather leave it to the nicotine.

It'd be hypocritical to say you can just not be depressed, but it's important to be aware it's your mind fucking with you, and it's probably not worth it, but you probably have things you wanna do, and you'll probably feel like this every now and then, but you'll also have moments of happiness every now and then that make it worth sticking around you don't wanna miss out on.

Give it a while. Talk to people, focus on goals, go to a therapist, see if it's what you really want before deciding. You've made it this far, right?

File: 1481131368971.jpg (232KB, 1184x843px)

232KB, 1184x843px

>>8147078
soon anon soon

>>8147249
>I don't live in the UK and have no intention of going there.
>I don't think I would date a man if I weren't up to my standard regardless of his quality.

surely going to the UK is more desirable than literally killing yourself? its not that bad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i dont know what your standards are, but im just the average joe, just that i have a job an education and i'm pretty fit.

good luck anon. don't kill yourself, there's always another option, perhaps you just cant see it right now.

>>8147264

See http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/thread/8101980/#q8102504 and it's continuation.

>>8147284

>You've made it this far, right?

Only because I was keeping my mind off the direction of my life up until my transition and nothing improved during that time, it only got worse. In the time since it was because of high hopes that I see now can't be fulfilled.

>>8147422

>surely going to the UK is more desirable than literally killing yourself? its not that bad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The UK sounds terrible.

>i dont know what your standards are, but im just the average joe, just that i have a job an education and i'm pretty fit.

No, like I said, it's about whether I'm up to my standards. You could be a billionaire Hemsworth lookalike and I would probably turn you down if I felt I look like shit. I would feel you could either do better than me or if I'm sure you would have no desire to leave me, that there's something specifically about how ugly I am that you find appealing. I would feel disgusted with myself looking in the mirror and not worth being truly loved as a woman.

>>8147078
If my life still sucks on my 27th birthday I'm going to kill myself.

>>8147078
As soon as my mother dies.

>>8147811
>The UK sounds terrible.
???

>>8147078
When my hair starts to fall out, I can't work, the lack of money from the shitty economy in my youth, and I'm not going to be able to afford to live.
I have the spot picked out. The bridge over the Liverpool/Manchester ship canal. Fast motorbike, cheap helmet. Get there when it's nice and quiet, get a good run-up, then veer into the edge and over the railing I go. Hopefully I can aim for the ground rather than the water, or I can weight my boots down so I make sure I don't survive.
It'll suck to destroy a nice machine and pollute the sea with it, but it beats survival.
It'll be fairly quick and painless, and getting to it will be fun. Literally riding like I have nothing to live for, because I won't.

File: GiovanniAngry.png (154KB, 512x400px) Image search: [Google]

154KB, 512x400px

The only likelihood of me killing myself would've been if I had repressed until 40.

File: 1465110945421.gif (904KB, 500x532px) Image search: [Google]

904KB, 500x532px

>>8147078
I'm growing more and more suicidal every day and I'm worried I don't have much time left. It's on my mind 24/7 at this point but still no real attempts fortunately. I'm starting to dislike my family now and they were one of the only things holding me back. What would younger me even think of me now? I was such a hopeful child. I'm scared.

>>8147078

If I can't overcome anxiety and depression and every day is miserable still.

File: feels.gif (965KB, 498x266px) Image search: [Google]

965KB, 498x266px

>>8150386
>the bridge over the Liverpool/Manchester ship canal

Right in the fucking feels... I thought about jumping from there when I was living in Manchester and suffering from suicidal depression. Jesus, anon, can't you get some help or something? Can't all of you get help in any way? Fucken hell too many good people dying, fuck I hate the world right now...

>>8147811
>The UK sounds terrible.
umm ok, its really not though lmao.

>No, like I said, it's about whether I'm up to my standards. You could be a billionaire Hemsworth lookalike and I would probably turn you down if I felt I look like shit. I would feel you could either do better than me or if I'm sure you would have no desire to leave me, that there's something specifically about how ugly I am that you find appealing. I would feel disgusted with myself looking in the mirror and not worth being truly loved as a woman

why dont you just give things a shot and see where it takes you, if you're actually about to kys i mean, what do you have to lose? go crazy, do different things, you have nothing to lose, yet everything to gain.

>>8150386
why not be my gf instead? i'll make you happy and by doing so you'll make me happy? is this not a win win? You dont have to kys anon.

Anyone else here have constant intrusive thoughts about wanting to kill themselves?

It feels normal at this point even though I know it's not.

Just wait for North Korea to nuke us

>>8147078
THIS TRIGGERS THE HON
FUCK
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

to answer your question, probably after my parents die, they're both in their 60s atm

File: knife cade.jpg (16KB, 604x438px)

16KB, 604x438px

>>8147078
sorry but i can't tell you

any info i post regarding this subject will be passed on to my parents :(

File: 1485638253801 (1).jpg (87KB, 489x540px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 489x540px

>>8150559
Yep. Anytime I pass by a bridge, see a knife, take medicine, am in a high place, etc., I immediately imagine my suicide.

>>8150494
>Jesus, anon, can't you get some help or something?
Not really. As I said; it's a few decades away. I can't face the idea of being old and alone as my body finally starts giving out, only reliant on paying people to spend time with me. I'd rather die.

>>8150558
I'm a guy, but I don't think it'll make a difference. I can't face the idea of getting really old.
If you're looking for a semi-fem guy, though, I don't see why not...

>>8150816
>semi-fem guy
I'm bi, and that ticks a lot of my boxes, you got contact?

>>8150712
Trans? Why the suicidal ideation?

>>8150837
Yep. My body is disgusting, I'm stuck in a small conservative town with no friends, and my parents disapprove of my transition.

>>8147078
When my doggo dies. I can't risk having him given to somebody else or left in a shelter and he is the only reason I keep existing, but once he is gone I will be too. I accepted I have no point in living and nothing has a meaning, I am not meant to be happy and I wasn't from the start. I curse my parents everyday for shitting me out when they were old with faulty genes, giving life to a mentally ill mess. Especially my mother, who couldn't pick a better father for her child, and thought mixing genes with a mentally ill man was a good idea. I take everything from him, the distaste for life and the self hatred. He died young and I will too. I will make it quick, shoot a round up my mouth and be done with it. I won't write anything, because my mother knows she gave birth to a miserable piece of shit and deserves to experience all of the pain she made me feel by giving me life. That'll be my revenge and my relief.

>>8150418
You must find something to love and look forward to. Otherwise its death or a life wasted.

>>8150834
Sure. I'm Skorpychan on Steam and Skype.

>>8151014
I only have art, which has always kept me afloat. I may not ever be a cute girl but at least I can draw them.

But when you're so lonely, I feel like things like passions and hobbies don't matter desu.

>>8151096
This, there is literally no point in living if you can't be happy in the body you occupy to begin with.

>>8151123
Not that anon, but it describes my feelings perfectly. Nothing makes sense if you're forced in a meatbag you hate.

File: tumblr_oml9ov6nv81u5izbho1_1280.png (43KB, 678x765px)

43KB, 678x765px

>this whole thread
pls don't die

>>8150874
>my parents disapprove of my transition.
What have they said/done?

>>8147078
Because of early transitioners like this? Very soon.

>>8151278
They literally think I'm schizophrenic now and are constantly trying to drag me to church.

File: it's too late.jpg (65KB, 1035x1035px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 1035x1035px

I'm thinking about doing it tonight, but I'm supposed to meet Joan Cusack tomorrow. I wouldn't want her to see me like this.

>>8151286
Why?