"Realization" thread in general , but i'd also

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"Realization" thread in general , but i'd also like to ask :
How to get a beautiful feminine body with what kind of work out!

First off, I'll give my personal Experience on losing weight and becoming a literal Sexy bomb among women (i'm a male but i kinda despise the idea of having any real corporal interaction with any humans) And realizing maybe my sexuality can be put on question.

Greentext mode on.
>be me
>be 17 thinking only of my work in my badass daddy airline company.
>be experience in nothing but anime character fapping.
>also be a fatass couse we need to keep it Stereotypical as possible.
>find this cute girl.
>work my ass off for half a year, becoming freaking Fit and all girl are like "please bang me".
>something is off, I've always searched for cuteness and beauty on a retarded "pureness" level in others... but can't find it, bonerkiller now on every girl even when enough cute or pretty.
>back to work, back to gaining weight , back to be depressed and empty.
>fap to cute anime artworks couse damnt they are cute.
>One day my sister tell me "i don't know where i saw that , but i remember seeing you once with a wig and you were in fact a pretty girl, probably couse you have a feminine face when fixed , also you need to lose weight again you were handsome when fit"
>*REVELATION*
>First dream ever about being a beautiful , pretty Woman, gracious and such.
>found out that maybe my emptiness doesn't come from lack of female/Male love, but lack of reaching that beauty and prettiness i desire.

Now the great question is, how do i realize without having to drink half liter of semen every days, that Trap-like Beauty i want?