I'm a single parent with full custody of my child. I've

>>8054423
People like you shouldn't have children

>>8054423
How old are you OP?

>>8054423
If you had children it's impossible for you to be trans.

I think if you're going to do it, now is the time. It will be easier on your child now rather than later when they understand more.

>>8054438
are seriously saying that a trans person can't use their genitals to fuck someone of the opposite natal sex one time?

>>8054423
What are your early repression memories?

>I'm now at the newest point in my life where I could transition after 6 years where I didn't have a choice.
Marriage, huh?

>>8054423

If anything, the best time to transition if you have kids is when they're very young. Try looking for a video of Laura Jane Grace with her daughter. I think it might have been part of the "Trutrans" miniseries.

Just so you know, I read a thread on /r9k/ years ago by a guy who said he started wanting to fuck his MtF single mother after she told him. She had raised him as his mother, and one time he walked in on her changing when he was a child. However, he only remembered that moment when she told him as a teen that she was MtF. It was apparently a sudden realization for him. To deal with his sexual urges, he masturbated to shemale mother-son doujins. So be careful to avoid having that happen.

>>8054536
Why didn't you screencap it?! Moar stories from wacky trans related arcanine thread pls.

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>>8054657

I have the archive in my bookmarks. I just couldn't access it on my phone.
https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/11240825/
This was the OP image.

>>8054657
>>8054728

Looks like I remembered that wrong. That picture was used later on in the thread. This archive has the pictures. https://archived.moe/r9k/thread/11240825/

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Once you have children your life no longer matters.

If you weren't 100% ok with yourself before you had kids too fucking bad. They matter now, not you.

>>8054447
This

>>8054997
Fuck off. To be a good parent, you have to take care of yourself too. And how do you think the kid will handle it as a teenager? Probably a lot worse.

>>8054728
Are you the OP of that thread? Be honest.

>>8054423
I would say the best thing you can do is live with no regrets, which would mean transition now so that you don't get a life situation where you're stuck again

>>8054423
Do it, your kid will be less fucked up if you do it now than if you do it later.

>>8054510
Marriage and the military both. Im now out of both.

>>8054997
I agree the kid is the most important, hence why I'm asking if it's likely to mess the kid up. Rather than being a douche canoe that you are, you could maybe give examples of what could be damaging to the child about it like the other guy with the weird story.

>>8054423

If you already have a kid, you are way pass puberty.

Do you honestly think that you have the slightest chance of passing? Otherwise your kid and his school friends will eventually find out and they are going to make fun of him.
I wouldn't do it.

>>8055861

The kid will be messed up no matter when you transition and will likely resent you for being a freak.

>>8055881
Considering that children as young as nine can produce and have their own children at the onset of puberty you could be wrong about age.

>>8054423
if youre not stopping yourself from slitting your wrists from dysphoria every ten minutes, I dont really see the point in you transitioning, with a kid to care for

>>8054423

Don't EVER transition. Your child will hate you. Time to buck up and do what all parents do... Sacrifice for your kids.

OP, just ignore the tranny bashers and do it. The sooner the better.

>>8054452
Obviously it wouldn't be just one time. Stop pretending to be a retard.

>>8054423
>having children whilst so uncertain of yourself that you entered a loveless marriage, joined the army, and were suppressing your dysphoria
You deserve lifelong repression, OP. Nut up and make the necessary sacrifices. It's not about you anymore - it's about the kid you had no right bringing into your awful, awful situation. Help them now and get them on the right track, all the while repressing both a.) your dysphoria and b.) the suicidal impulses you're going to have to deal with. Let nobody see any of that, all the way up to your death, then let the whole thing go unsung. At this point, it's the only decent path for you.

But you'll probably fuck it up and start breaking things, because you're of course the sort of inconsiderate retard who'd get themselves in that situation in the first place.

(But luckily, OP, you're almost certainly not trutrans anyway; you'll find repressing a dream after a year or so, and before long wonder what came over you.)

>>8054423
transition now would probably be best

>>8054423
Don't. Don't become "THAT" parent. You will screw your child up by forcing them into any drama that may spawn by you transitioning, be it from the childs other parent, family and extended family, or ghosts from your past. Your focus should be on making your child's life easier and happier. You're an adult now.

Put the child up for adoption. You are not fit to take care of someone else if you are running around chopping you dick off. Sounds like abuse case waiting to happen. Give it back tot the mother where it belongs

>>8057172

If OP is biologically male, don't you think there must be a damn good reason they got full custody? Like the mother's an addict?

>>8057182
I can only imagine the mother is out of the picture entirely for OP to get full custody. Like, she was 17 and wants nothing to do with the baby or something.

>>8054423
You had a kid and have full custody and want to selfishly transition. Did you even consider how the kid will be effected by this? Of course you didn't.

>>8054423
Just go ahead and do it, it's not gonna mess with the kid at all, but being a repressed self hating motherfucker will.

>>8054452
Yes

>>8057492
Then you're a retard or evil.

>>8057305
I do care about my child more than anything. That's why I'm asking if it will mess my child up. A lot of people say yes it will, but few have given the how it will.
I should've asked my question more how it will affect them badly. Rather than will it, I guess. 15 years ago the world hated gays, now it's more or less generally accepted in most the world and similar is happening with the tfans community. 10 years from now it might be as accepted as being gay is. I don't know. That's why I needed more opinions and thoughts.

>>8057522
You need to engage more. Lots of people have asked questions to try to clarify your situation and not got much by way of answers.

>>8054423
see
>>8054438
If you're fucking chicks you're not trans, you're just a pervert. There are actual trans people who face real mental turmoil every day, you're just a mockery to them.

>>8054423
>6 years.
He will have memories and people will make fun of the poor kid during all his life.
You're basically making a /r9k/ anon of the future by transitioning while having children.

Not only that but his mom will also make fun of you behind your back, maybe even bully him for having a "tranny dad" whenever she wants to relieve all her frustrations.

Trust me my mom did this all my life and my dad isn't a tranny.

>>8057522
It won't, and anyone who says otherwise here is an idiot, an asshole, or both.

Kids get teased for shit ALL THE FUCKING TIME. For being too fat, too skinny, too brown, too smart, too dumb, rich, poor, ugly, whatever the fuck. Pick 1-100 various reasons. Same applies to parents. That's why you build their self-esteem and teach them to cope with assholes. I didn't need gay or trans parents to have a shitty childhood. They'll get you for something else any way they can. What's important is that you do what's best for you AND your child. Children can sense unhappiness. Kids understand when their parents are hiding something. And yeah, maybe when they hit their teen years they might have some issues with it. But they're going to do that either way, and repressing will be worse for both of you.

>>8054423


YOUR FAULT for having kids u fuckin idiot.

do not transition and ruin this kids life, fucking worthless fgt

OP, please stick around for a bit, I'm typing up a serious answer. Don't leave yet because of the trolls.

>>8054423
Do it OP, transition now, it's for the best, and good luck.

Lol @ peeps saying this will ruin the kids life, how the fuck would it? My dad used to beat the shit out of me and my mom once stuck her finger up my bum, and I'm alright, my life's not ruined at all.

>>8057854
I haven't left. Just checking on the thread during breaks at work and last night sleeping.

>>8057530
No one has really asked any questions. I just double checked the thread.

>>8057700
My kid is only 2.the four years prior were military service.

>>8057643
If lesbians exist, so can MTFs who like girls. Realistically though I prefer guys, just never acted on it due to repression. And now I'm not planning on ever having other relationships because I've seen that having a new "uncle" and "aunts" every few weeks does actually super hurt children.

>>8057912
>>8057854 here, I hope this answer helps you:

You want to transition because of dysphoria. Others in this thread don't want you to, so your kid doesn't get bullied. There's a way to get the best of both worlds.

1) Transition. You need to be there for your kid, and you can't do that if you're depressed, self-harming or suicidal. Repression is self-neglect. Realize that self-esteem is hereditary, and think about your child. Realize that repressing *won't* benefit your kid, since you'll just be harming your psychological health, and your child absolutely will be impacted by that (same if there's one alcoholic in a family, it affects the whole family, and makes it more dysfunctional).

2) Raise your kid to be psychologically healthy. Psychological health is hereditary. Family adults unconsciously and involuntarily raise families which are as nurturing or dysfunctional as their own (birth) family was. There are six types of psychological wounds that you can pass down to your kid:
- personality fragmentation (you'll understand this later)
- excessive shame/guilts
- excessive fears
- trust disorders (trusting "too much" or "not enough" despite knowing better)
- reality distortion (denial, minimization, etc)
- inability to bond emotionally (and give/receive love, spontaneously and genuinely)

(cont)

>>8057936
These wounds are normal and widespread: most people are significantly wounded and are unaware of it. You seem wounded, as indicated by your repression (-> reality distortion if not more). All of these wounds are hereditary, so, if you don't want to unintentionally wound your kid, see whether you have any of these wounds, and, if you do, reduce them. To do that, watch this YouTube video (trust me, it's high-quality):

"Were you traumatized as a child? How do you know?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo1RBWNT5Ts

After watching that, watch (by the same therapist):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeHb6fQNF6M

That therapist created a website (sfhelp.org), with 7 self-improvement lessons, one of which teaches how to reduce your psychological wounds, and another teaches how to raise a *high-nurturance* family (as opposed to a dysfunctional, traumatic one). The other lessons will also benefit you in various ways. I know the website looks old, but trust me, it’s a goldmine. I wouldn’t be alive if I hadn’t found that site.

Kids with a nurturing childhood will be much less likely to have these wounds, so they won’t get bullied or ostracized, since it's easy for them to make friends with anybody and be likable. So transition, and, with the help of the website, reduce your wounds if you have any, and make your family more nurturing

God bless, good luck. I hope you see this post. I'll try to answer any questions.

>>8055292

No. I was
>>11240972
>>11241096
>>11241258
>>11243095

I was starting to come out of repression at that time, which is why I called that OP's mother "'they'" instead of "she" or "he."

The reason why it's in my bookmarks is because [nospoilerson/lgbt/]I'm a degenerate that thinks it's hot.[/nospoilerson/lgbt/] Since you asked for honesty.

>>8057936
Ok anon, if he's 2 maybe there's a chance to salvage this and still transition.

I honestly don't know how though.
Unless you manage to pass 100% and never, and I mean, NEVER have a tranny breakdown (trust me I have this all the time) your kid will be fucked.

>>8054423
i know this reddit, but i seriously think r/asktransgender would offer better advice than /lgbt/, you should post it there.

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>>8057940
Haven't you heard the word of my wanting?
Oh, I'm gonna be wounded
Oh, I'm gonna be your wound
Oh, I'm gonna bruise you
Oh, you're gonna be my bruise
Just too unreal, all this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gon2Y3wIHqM

>>8057749
this this this

Being dysphoric will hinder your parenting abilities more than being a tranny

>>8057936
>>8057940
This anon speaks the truth, OP.

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>>8058029
I love this. Thanks kind anon.

>>8057969
There is a way. >>8057749 and >>8058049 are right.
Everybody can learn to reduce their wounds, so they can be led by their "true Self", and gradually shift their personality from the column on the right to the one on the left. That's what lesson 1 of the website is about. Doing this work will be invaluable for OP, and for his son

Source for pic: sfhelp.org/gwc/compare.htm and related video on false-self dominance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVTWxJ-L5xA

>>8058088
Thank you brother.

>>8058107
I'm sure it's true to some degree, but that chart seems overly simplistic.

>>8058107
Explain this true self/false self thing?

>>8057936
Thank you for providing resources for your opinion on how it'll affect my child. I'll be sure to watch those videos and dig through the website when I have some free time tonight after little one is in bed.

I knew I was a girl internally from 8 years old, however I didn't know other people felt this way until about 16 or 17. I thought I was just disgusting and a freak of nature. And even after I found out others felt the same I gave myself a choice to transition or not. I chose to repress again and so I joined the military. I was always trying to do whatever masculine things I could in the hopes my dysphoria went away. It never has.
I'm not suicidal or would do self harm even without transitioning because I can't leave my child alone on the world. I truly want what's best for my child. But I will admit that I am depressed about it and I do my best not to let it show and affect my child.

>>8054423
You have a child, that means you must put the needs of the child ahead of your own. Your child requires a stable household, ideally with two parents. Taking hormones and transitioning is the exact opposite of stable.

Some people work shit jobs for decades to provide for their children at great personal risk. All you have to do is stop being a degenerate faggot.

>>8058188
>I knew I was a girl internally from 8 years old, however I didn't know other people felt this way until about 16 or 17.
What were your early trans feelings and how did you express them privately?

>>8058217
Yet you're the one on the faggot board. Sounds like you have repression too.

>>8058229
I preferred to play house, imagination, these two girls down the street I'd go to their house and they would dress me as a girl and it was all normal. When I would come home and be told I'm a fag and shouldn't be doing things like that and forced to take it all off.
Privately about all I could do was grow my hair long and hang around other girls all the time and do all the same stuff they did. That all stopped at about 10 when my step dad wouldn't let me do anything like that.

>>8058257
Did you ever crossdress in private or feel a desire to?

How attracted are you to men and to women?

>>8058217
Fuck off, Helen Lovejoy. >>8057749

>>8058274
I would cross dress from about 14-18. Even quite a few times at school. I would borrow friends clothes change at their house in the morning and after school before I went back home.

Physically Im about 9/10 attracted to males. And a 4/10 to females. I've just only been with women because that's what I thought would help me get over things, but from 17-20 I dated guys online who thought I was a girl in mmos.

>>8058330
Which clothes? You mean you'd wear their clothes under your male clothes or go fully crossdressed?

Did you have any supportive friends?

>>8058373
I went full blown cross dressing. Skirts, dresses, underwear. Friends were supportive, faculty didn't care.

>>8058390

Wow, pretty dumb of you to decide to go in the military at the last second then.

>>8058390
Did you ever crossdress when you were alone? Did you ever find crossdressing arousing?

>>8058188
Your depression might be partly caused caused by incomplete ("blocked") grief (http://sfhelp.org/grief/symptoms.htm), which lesson 3 deals with.

That website is the best gift you can give yourself and your child. I might go to bed, but I'll check back in the morning.

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>>8058158
Personalities are universally made up of "subselves" (personality parts). These parts form an "inner family". Your inner family functions just like a normal family. It can be dysfunctional (conflictual) to nurturing (harmonious). One of your subselves, your true Self, is naturally talented at leading all your other subselves. But if you had a low-nurturance childhood, you'll experience frequent inner conflict (examples in pic related, from "A letter to skeptics" here: sfhelp.org/gwc/IF/letter.htm), meaning that some of your subselves will regularly "disable" your true Self and take over your personality, forming a "false self", and causing psychological wounds.

The feelings on the right of that pic are just what you feel when you're led by a false self. Your inner-conflict, and their related wounds, can be reduced through "inner family therapy", which involves interviewing your subselves; getting them to know your true Self, your Nurturer subself and each other; increasing their trust in your true Self; and rescuing those of your subselves living in the past (and causing you feelings of being "lost", "empty", etc.). The overarching goal is to increase inner harmony and reduce conflict, just the same way family therapy works with normal families.

That's the goal of lesson 1 on the website, to become self-led, and free your true self to guide you. As you do that, you'll feel fewer of the feelings in the right column, and more of those on the left. And this is realistic, too.

If you want to know more, or you're still skeptical: http://sfhelp.org/
You can read over the premises (http://sfhelp.org/site/premises.htm) and lesson 1 (http://sfhelp.org/gwc/guide1.htm)

>>8058152
It's very simplified, yes. It's not an "on/off switch". Being led by a false-self (*symptoms* on the column on the right) can be reduced progressively through parts-work.

>>8057507
>evil
>the person who thinks it's wrong to have children if you're trans

>>8054423
sauce on this fine Rosalind?

>>8058454
Yes I would cross dress alone. It was arousing in a way. Not sexually, but in that I could express myself, and tell sense of satisfaction of just being me is arousing.
>>8058735
I definitely appreciate all this, thank you. >>8058767
I'm about 95% sure I got the picture from a thread about Nintendo on /v/.

>>8058746
Just to clarify for >>8058158 , since I left a gap in the logic:
Subselves that "disable" your true Self and form a false self do so because they don't trust your true Self to keep them safe. And why would they, since you (probably) experienced trauma as a child, which your true Self was not able to protect you from (duh! you were a child!). Hence some subselves' distrust, and willingness to "protect themselves" and take over your personality. This chaos is within us, and obviously causes great pain.

>>8059183
So are you a psychology student or do you just study this stuff independently?

>>8061884
I just found that website by accident one day. Completely saved my life, through I've only been making progress in the last ~3 months.

>>8054423 look op lets be hones raising a kid cost a lot (150 K not including side costs like college and other bullshit) doing this can really fuck stuff up in the long term you gotta think about the kid and btw if he ever gets friends and they find out about you then they will call him the gayest twat ever but this can also mess up their childhood just for fuck sake think about this one

>>8063160
See >>8057749

>>8057522

> I do care about my child more than anything.

If you sincerely asked this question, and you chose 4chan as the place where you would ask it, then no you don't care about your child more than anything. You care about doing a bad job at things more than anything. 4chan is not where people do a good job at finding out how to raise their children. Find another forum. Try this one: http://parenting.stackexchange.com/

>>8054423
I have 2 kids and transitioned. Unfortunately they were old enough that they probably remember.

>>8065165

So you pass? How old were they when they started and how old are they now? How did the other parent take it?

>>8065851
They were 4 and 5 when i started, that was 3 years ago, and it took me about a year to pass, so they probably remember how awkward it was in between too.

The other parent doesnt have custody so her opinion doesnt matter, although she knew i was trans before i dropped her.

>>8065868
How do they feel about it now?

>>8068497
It seems like they don't know any different now, they don't treat me weird or question anything. I mean i will find out later on when they are a bit older and remember me looking much different when they were very young, but right now everything with the kids is great. They call me Mom and my ex by her first name.

>>8068508

>They call me Mom and my ex by her first name.

lmao she got BTFO.

>>8068594
Well, as you can imagine it takes a lot of bad shit for them to give the kids to the MtF parent and not the birth mother. She earned every bit of that.

Would you rather your kid be raised by a mom all their life, or by a fake dad who becomes a hon?

>>8068656
he said, knowing nothing about what OP looks like

>>8068508
Best outcome

>>8068508
transitioning is a pain, and kids make everything harder. major props to you, anon, for doing the impossible. i hope your kids are happy and healthy and call you mom in front of your ex.

>>8073016
>>8075142
Thx lol, and yes they do.

I am also prettier, skinnier and more passable than her even tho she's cis

Dont fucking do it dont fucking do it DONT

Not only will you fuck up your own life by pursueing this false idea that going further down this road of mental ilness will make you feel better, you will also breed an endlessly ,pre fucked up version of yourself, and a sick, confused child robbed of his right to grow up healthily, definitely raised on welfare.

Please don't make this very naïve, very politically charged, compromised decision that is definitive and will not only last you the rest of your life but will impact the life of a growing child to whom you are directly responsible in so many ways, many of which i'm sure haven't even dawned on you.

>>8075332
Are you a parent?

>>8075332
I'm going to keep repeating this until you people get it. >>8057749

>>8075332
Nah fuck that, do it ASAP OP.


The longer you wait, the more your child will remember.

So have you made a decision yet, op, or do you still have concerns?

>>8077968
opie is ded
reep