Were any of you MTFs here actually gender non-conforming as children

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>>8048731
Being gender non-conforming is like 90% dependent on your parents and the political environment where you live, it hardly relates to "trutrans" and it doesn't mean you have fake late onset dysphoria. Like if you act like a turbofag in certain countries you're going to get chucked off the rooftop of a building.

>>8048731
I was until I had been told that I wasn't allowed, and the likes, one too many times.
Then I became pretty much gender conforming, in the sense that I at least didn't do gender non-confirming things publicly.

I wanted to but I was scared of being beaten up even more.

>>8048731
I agree with >>8048790. Try to be GNC in a religious conservative household in the southern US.

>>8048731
I was. In my early teens I borrowed my sister's underwear.

>>8048878
...

>>8048885
To wear under my boy clothes during a normal day, before you say anything, not just to fap.

>>8048731
Yes, and I still ended up waiting up to 21 because I'm retarded.

>>8048731
I once asked my mom why i have a dick so...

>>8048731
I was always presenting myself as female, whatever that means pre hormones. I'm sure it was easier for others to see me after a year on hormones and now I pass without any conscious gender presentation, whatever that means

>>8048731
Yes. I presented female at school until puberty fucked me so bad I was forced to go into boy-mode repression.

>>8048815
>I was until I had been told that I wasn't allowed, and the likes, one too many times.
How were you told to conform? What gnc things did you have to hide?

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>>8048731
even if you were legitimately GNC as a child and presented female your parents can still detect wether or not you're illegitimately trans and gatekeep you on that.

>>8048983
>your parents can still detect wether or not you're illegitimately trans and gatekeep you on that.
wtf cara?

>>8049005
how is it weird

>>8049028
parents can't know that.

>>8048731
reminder that a*p does not mean falsetrans
>>8048790
it is worth noting here that the majority of hsts mtfs in fact live in those countries where turbofags get thrown off buildings and seem to make it through

>>8049038
some do

>>8049077
How can parents possibly know if you're "legitimately trans" whatever that means or not?

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>>8049084
not such much in terms of legitimacy, but more so in terms of deserving to transition at that age, like hstses are (etc...)

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>>8049113
ugh cara when are you going to stop with this legitimacy bullshit, you are seriously the most broken record on /tttt

>>8049084
by finding their kid shit posting they just want tits but they want to stay a guy

>>8049121
how is it wrong?

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>>8049206
how is it not wrong?

Why does it matter if you start hrt after starting puberty / realize you are trans in part due to your sexuality? Your logic is in many ways no different than dogmatic religions that vilify expressions / feelings of sexuality. Who cares what influences / causes your dysphoria, you should be focused on fixing it instead of vilifying / delegitimizing it, thats not how it goes away.

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I passed as a girl as a child and my parents made every effort they could to make me more masculine: forcing me to cut my hair, replacing all my plain neutral-colored t-shirts with ones with boyish prints like dinosaurs and cars, making me go to a McDojo to learn taekwondo... I repressed hard as a result of this and didn't realize I was trans until age 16. At age 12, we learned about differences between the sexes in school and I passed the fuck out. I told everyone that asked that it was because I'm afraid of blood and didn't like the part about periods, but it was actually because up until that point in my life I had somehow convinced myself that I would grow up to look like my mom. Is that good enough for you, OP?

>>8049262
You didn't know boys and girls were physically different until 12?

>>8048731
When I was tiny I used to hate my genitals and joke that I was a "sperm hunter" and was gonna kill my balls until my dad started beating me whenever I made those claims. I also was thoroughly convinced that whenp puberty started I'd just grow and develop into a woman until it actually started and I knew something was wrong immediately.

Have a pic of 2 year old me running happily around in a skirt have the time of my life. Had I had it be known to me that I could've, I probably would've tried to be a girl. I hated being a boy.

>>8049276
I didn't either, actually. I knew there was something different, but I didn't know what it was. We had a class about puberty in school and it left me shaken and in denial. It wasn't until I was about 15-16 that I realised that despite my denial I was actually growing into a man.

>>8048731
it depends on what you mean by GNC. One of the the descriptions of me as a kid that people used was "gentle". The way people say/said it sounds super euphemistic. I learned to hide being trans at an early age and only came back out of the closet at 20.

>>8049206
It isn't, and that's why your ugly hon ass didn't make it as a kid. Think about how beautiful you would have been, if you just could have started as a child. Doesn't it make you want to end it all? :)

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>>8049986
Living in a glass closet? Iktf. bi mtf
Being quiet, meek is the best way to keep daddy/mommy/big bro from suddenly becoming hostile to an errant thought you had in innocence. Learning how to be quiet as a boy was tough, I didn't know trans was a thing until I was a late teenager, and I didn't know I was trans because I just assumed I was the orientation that people told me I was, a faggotretard.

>haha anon, why do you run like that?
>anon, you looked at your fingers like a girl. Men look at them like this (what does that even fucking mean)
>"hey grampa, I wish I were a girl. They have so many more toys and clothes to play with" NO YOU DON'T (was 5 att)
>(be 15) "What's up Slipknot? You cut yourself, huh? quit being such a retard" tackles me, spits sunflower seeds at my face while his buddy laughs.
>"Shes not really your girlfriend, she doesn't even looks like she likes you. Stop lying."


[spoiler] ;-; [/spoiler]

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>>8048731
95% of /lgbt/ are cis /pol/ males LARPing as transbians.

>>8050845
>Being quiet, meek is the best way to keep daddy/mommy/big bro from suddenly becoming hostile to an errant thought you had in innocence.
What were your errant thoughts and what was the hostility you got for them?

>>8050908
>/pol/
Then how come so many of them are feminist leftards?

>>8050960
>doesn't know what LARPing is

>>8048815
That was pretty much me, too. I did all sorts of things, anywhere from playing with girls and dolls to dressing as a girl.

"Being told I wasn't allowed" generally took the form of berating, oral and physical punishment until I felt bent/broken and started conforming. Now I have a lot of guilt that I feel that way.

>>8049276
I didn't realize there was a difference until I was 10. I was playing with a friend, a girl, and we decided to look at each other's private parts. I was amazed she didn't have a dick and balls, and sad that I did.

From that point on I did a lot of tucking. I'd push my package back in, close my legs and walk like a fucking penguin to keep them in.

>>8050952
I feel bad talking about it, because I'm afraid I'm exaggerating. I don't know if I'm lying or just mis-remembering. Anecdotes about being bullied almost always start with me sitting by myself in school/ outside playing, and some inbred fuck comes and just starts pestering me about liking girls/guys, trying to trick me into admitting i'm any flavor of gay that would allow the lord of the flies tribe to completely ostracize me.

I have two members of the 'family' on my moms side, so she's hip to homostuff, but as a kid I don't think either of my parents were mature enough themselves to really help other than keeping me safe, which is to say, repressed.
My bigbro was pissed off because we are close enough in age that we attended the same schools a few years apart, and whenever I started going to school, he would get bullied as well for being the fag's brother, and he held resentment for me for that shit. My dad was the same way, but in every social setting where his peers knew me, they liked to emasculate him for having a fag kid.

My young life wasn't unsafe, but the repression was so much worse because my parents accepted me, as much as they knew how, and without anyone else to talk to, I let be normalized. The hostility was never physically violent from family, but it makes it harder now to uncover shit because I genuinely believe that just trying to be a straight man is the safest, best life my family wants for me.

I feel guilty saying this because I know others here are/were in much more dire straights, and I hope this doesn't come off as a bunch of crocodile tears.

>>8050995
Notice that your dysphoria over your genitals only began when you were consciously aware that they were a male thing.

>>8051090
>I feel guilty saying this because I know others here are/were in much more dire straights,
Don't feel bad! We all have our own experiences and feelings and none of them delegitimize anyone else's!

>>8051123
That's correct. I didn't know there was a difference so didn't think there was anything "wrong".

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>>8050423

>>8051623
>Hiding behind a cartoon character you look nothing like

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>>8051656
>dis is u

my mom didn't know I was trans or what to do with me if she did so she didn't really let me wear a lot of girls clothes

>>8051691
?

>>8048731
I would have been if I wasn't so afraid. Even as a child I was very scared of being caught wearing anything female, even if I wore what I did when I could sneak it.

My dad was very into spankings as punishment, so I tried to avoid doing anything that would upset him

>>8051997
Lucky you, I would have done it on purpose, then pretend I was fixed, then do it again, then...

>>8051656
are you new?

>>8048731
Fuck off, Cara, 99% of people's families would not allow that in any fucking way. I tried, was beaten, and hid it. Does that make me not trutrans?

>>8052207
see
>>8048983

When I was like 5 I put on a dress at my grandma's house and told everyone I was a girl and all my adult family members just kind of gave me a disappointed look.

Other things like that too I guess yeah but it wasn't really encouraged by my family.

>>8051691
I'm not a tranny so it's fine. Just a fag.

>>8048731
I was gender non-conforming, but not by my own choice. During elementary school, my dad was poor and couldn't buy new clothes, so all my clothes were hand-me-downs from my older sister and pink, ratty, used clothes from a garage sale. To make matters worse, my mom made me have long curly hair because she thought it looked cute, and twice my dad bought me a pink bicycle that couldn't change gears. Everyone outside of my classroom routinely thought I was a girl. The teachers didn't let me into the boys bathroom once because of my appearance, and had to clarify my gender with my dad over the phone. They even sent me home twice because they didn't like what I was wearing (but that was more to do with the rattiness than the gender of the clothing). The students and the teachers just didn't like me. The teachers had a lot of contempt towards my parents, and let the kids bully me whenever they wanted. In my opinion, my clothes were normal, and I didn't assign a gender to them until someone gendered me at school. Despite that though, I still found it validating when someone outside my class thought I was female.

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>>8053003

>>8053003
>The teachers didn't let me into the boys bathroom once because of my appearance, and had to clarify my gender with my dad over the phone.
you had to wait to pee while they phone home? wtf?

>>8053016
uhm...

>>8048968
That it was not ok, and that I could never do it again.
And told I looked terrible, or was ugly, in the clothes.

That was probably around age 5, and I had nightmares about being caught again for a long time afterwards.

>>8053003
This is, nice. Cool pasta bro.

>>8048731
Not MTF but I am male and have gender dysphoria. I never transitioned though.

>>8048731
I was a really depressed kid growing up and although I always wanted hello kitty and makeup and I always felt that I didn't fit in with the boys, I felt so ashamed of my depression and attention-seeking outbursts because my parents thought I was bipolar, that I deliberatly avoided asking for dolls and stuff. I also always wanted to wear the girl's school uniform and I wanted to have my hair long. I spent so much effort trying to not shame my parents so much that I didn't realise that I'm depressed because I'm trans that I didnt figure it out till I was 13/14 and it took me 3 more years to feel like I deserved wasting NHS pounds.

>>8055186
>to feel like I deserved wasting NHS pounds.
The NHS funds five-a-day adverts and breast implants for cis women.

There is nothing you could possibly do that would waste its money.

>>8053016
What did you mean by this?

>>8054853
I was halfway through telling my endocrinologist this same story before stopping me because he was skeptical and thought I was making it up to get hormones. He still let me, but I feel like he was reluctant.

>>8055931
when did you start hrt?

>>8055938
I came out to my mom after discovering Laura's and Susan's at 16, bit went back into the closet because I didn't agree with hon ideology. I came out again at 22 because I realized that actual sane trans people existed and have been on hrt for a year now.

I wasn't allowed to be nonconforming but I sure tried

lol i tried but who would let me

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>>8049113
So that means you didn't deserve to transition at that age because if you did you would be already socially presenting as a woman like your idol Nicole Maines and that you 1) can't speak for early transitioners 2) aren't legitimate, just a sad fetishist who can't stop vicariously living through successful early transitioners (which you are NOT, you delusional narcissist).

Parents know best, sir. Let's hope they'll bust your creepy ass soon enough so you finally stop shitting up /tttt/.

>>8057043
This. Cara sucks.

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>>8057043
that was just like 3/4s of a meme

>>8057173
>lol I was just pretendin to be retarded :)
No, you actually have unsolved issues and you should take it somewhere else. The reason why you keep hounding late transitioners is because you are one and you can't forget yourself for not transitioning earlier, and stalking early transitioners because you obviously want to be one and maybe even dissect and wear her skin, I do certainly get those psycho vibes from you. Your posts are nothing but a desperate cry for help, a simple coping mechanism to help reduce your own dysphoria.

Maybe instead of stalking and harassing people you should, I don't know, kill yourself? It's not like your manbones will ever reshape to the supposed perfection of early transitioners anyway.

t. early transitioner who's getting tired of your creepy shit

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>>8057243
I should go. Goodbye.

>>8056946
>>8056978
What did you try and how were you stopped?

>>8057243
>The reason why you keep hounding late transitioners is because you are one
Late transitioners are transitioners.

>>8057273
>Drama queen.exe
See you tomorrow with even more bitchy self-confessional posts and new threads insulting both early and late transitioners.

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>>8057292
>What did you try and how were you stopped?
I badgered my mom into making me a skirt because "boys in the Bible could wear them" and otherwise crossdressed and begged my parents for Barbies and told them I wanted to marry a boy, and then they started beating me and making me cut my hair and all that stuff. on the plus side for chaserboys I have suuch daddy issues now.

>>8057043
Not Cara, but I have to comment on this. I presented female as a child. I was essentially socially transitioned. But my parents wouldn't let me get on hormones. This was the early 2000s. Socially transitioning as a kid != medically transitioning.

>>8057421
what comic is this from?

>>8057292
Would steal sister's and mother's clothes and didn't like my own toys - would try to take my sister's. Didn't say to parents I was a girl but did say it to some classmates. I can't remember a time when I was honest with parents tho; one of my three earliest memories is lying so as not to hurt Dad's feelings. Just v ingrained from ~forever to not let family into my life.

Anyway then they started getting divorced and were suddenly a lot more vicious and would spank me and scream at me and so on if I even acted femme.

>>8057421
Would never tell them I wanted to marry a boy, though, for example; it was obvious to me never to share things like that.

>>8057627
>I presented female as a child. I was essentially socially transitioned.
Details?

>>8048731
When I was a kid my mom ran a daycare and my dad worked full time. I used to wear fairy wings and dresses and played with barbies. I also used to make bracelets and jewelry. My mom let me grow my hair out and do what I want when my dad was at work.

When I started elementary school my mom closed the daycare and went back to work as a teacher. My dad found out about what my mom let me do while he was at work and he shaved my head before my first day of school. From then on I wasn't allowed to dress how I wanted or play with the toys I wanted. My dad would shave my head even if I didn't want him to.

My parents eventually got divorced and I lived with my dad half the week. He kept shaving my head military style until I was 14 and he lost custody of me for beating me(three broken ribs, fractured eye socket, and belt marks) after I yelled at him and flipped over a chair.

I started hormones at 16. I'm 21 now and live a semi normal life.

>>8060836
Good for you for not putting up with getting beaten. Sadly I see a lot of stories from trans girls, and gay boys, who kept getting mistreated for years.

>>8057292
Let's see
I once had a conversation with my mom asking what it's called when a boy wants to be a girl, like a tomboy in reverse. The answer included some form of my mom saying she was glad I wasn't like that
I frequently asked questions like "what would you have named me if I was a girl" "can boys become girls" etc
From a very young age I was extremely dysphoric about my penis and would try to tuck or invert it
Sometimes while shopping for clothes I would try to head into the girls section and got lead away by my mom
Around first grade I started hiding this kind of stuff

Nope. I didn't have any signs until 18 and no dysphoria until 20, after which I immediately started HRT and chopped my balls off 2 years later

>>8061874
Nice! I wonder what it's like not having accumulative dysphoria. Like, you couldn't have regretted not starting sooner because you didn't have any. What's your gender dysphoria like now/when you started hrt? What gave you gender dysphoria? I imagine you're much happier now.

>>8061874
Lesbian 100%

>>8061908
>Like, you couldn't have regretted not starting sooner because you didn't have any
I still regret not having started sooner because I don't fully pass...

>What's your gender dysphoria like now/
My body is wrong, its very distressing and bizarre to see the masculine traits I have. My voice can cause crushing depression even though I trained it. Intimacy can be complicated.

>when you started hrt?
Disgust at the body I was in. Disgust at my thick hair, male face, and proportions, and... just everything. Crushing depression and hopelessness that everyone perceived a man when they saw me. Panic as I realized I would just get more and more manly if development kept going that way.

>What gave you gender dysphoria?
I started wanting to be a girl. I don't know what set it off specifically, like, I had AGP shit before but it didn't really progress in a rational way.. it just started appearing. Pretty soon I started looking into lgbt topics. Physical dysphoria got worse and worse. At first I wanted to get on just blockers to calm down and buy time, and pretty soon after I wanted estrogen too.

>I imagine you're much happier now
I'm about the same as before minus that panic and extreme constant disgust. I'm depressive and have anxiety problems inherited by my mom. If I hadn't transitioned I could be in a much worse place though.

tl;dr classic late onset AGP

>>8061915
I'm bi. I lost my virginity to a guy and I'm crushing on my male boss.

Always knew, but messy family life took precedence.

I do a lot of "guy stuff" that I love, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel female.

I was ignored a bit and I'm so freaking shy!!!!
And I doubted I could actually transition properly.

Came out at university, dealing with all this stuff.

Need a miracle for the works.

Should marry a rich man.

>>8061959
Honestly, I thought that since it was late onset, that it wouldn't be as bad as it is. Sorry for making light of it. Do you think that maybe you had dysphoria at an earlier age, but the conditions to realize it weren't there yet? Like people at my school often thought I was a girl, so I got to know how validating that felt at an early age. But since most guys never get female socialization, their only way to know about their own gender dysphoria is through things like agp fantasies, hating puberty, etc. ect. It's hard to believe that all those feelings were really late onset, more like "beneath the surface" or something.

I really hope the best for you. I have the same feeling where even though I'm thankful I'll never be a man, I'm really scared I'll never pass.

>>8063723
It's okay. It's at a fairly comfy level. Especially since orchi, my body is a lot more relaxing to be in.

>beneath the surface
Maybe. But I hesitate toward this, I really can't point to a time in early puberty I felt bad. I thought getting a deep voice was cool. I wanted a beard. I'm 180 from that now

>>8061985
>a miracle
You misspelled job :3