I'm 23 and I let repressing and dysphoria destroy my life

>>8039637
I'm all for killing myself toaster in the tub or jumping off a building if I don't feel better but I would like to know if anyone thinks I should make the last attempt at trying to salvage my life and how

>>8039616
Seek an actual therapist to talk about your problems because, though you probably deal with dysphoria, that's definitely not your only issue. A good therapist will help you work through past traumas, will help you develop a mindset that can make you functional and not a neet shutin, and eventually help you through transition.

You can't do it alone, and there's no shame in admitting that. However, don't listen to advice here. This site is full of people who want you to die painfully and will find anything in what you're saying that will aid in this ordeal and destroy whatever chance you have to help yourself.

Let me tell you it's a lot less expensive and risky to get hormones legally through a doctor than it is to dose yourself with black market shit that may or may not be what you ordered because it currently makes sense to be some kind of trans super-spy in this manic, desperate, and depressed state you're in.

Look up LGBT organizations near where you live, call hotlines, ask your GP about stuff, your situation is far from impossible, or hopeless.

>>8039641
Yes you have nothing to lose so at least give transitioning a try before you kill yourself. It's not going to be easy but nothing in life worth anything ever is.

>>8039616
Im you but im 21 instead of 23. And I didn't lose my life. Just my will to live.

>>8039616
Write them [email protected]
Read this https://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
It is quite common but it helped me in some dark moments...go to the therapist, or say to your parents that you need one...just do it, anyway kill your self before transition just not interesting - maybe you will be a amazing whatever

>>8039743
>just do it, anyway kill your self before transition just not interesting - maybe you will be a amazing whatever
dude could you be any less enthusiastic about this lol

I do think the way I'm thinking is probably illogical but I just kind of don't want to wait any longer and go through therapy or waste more time than I already have. Which is why I just want to come out if they accept me I transition soon or I could just order online after selling some of my stuff.

>>8039691
I had a semi functional life prior to last year. I just stopped caring about everything though. I stopped talking to friends stopped going to work didn't even care that I got kicked out. I'm depressed and do have a few things other than being a repressed trans that add extra to how I feel. I'm pretty sure the whole being trans waiting so long it ruined me mentally and not knowing if I could even have a successful transition at my age is the main thing though. As far as talking to people goes therapy never helped when I was a young kid. Given I never told anyone I wanted to be a girl and honestly would have trouble telling them that even if I did go now as well.

>>8039694
You think I should come out to my parents and pray they accept me so I can go to the informed consent clinic like 2 hours away from where I live? Or do you think I should just sell some of my stuff so I have money to order hormones online? As is I think these are the two fastest ways I could start transitioning.

>>8039718
Basically same I just got to that point after I did a few things with my life.

i started at 23 and turned out decent, dont give up

>>8042382
Those aren't your only two options, but if you're sure you want to do one of those 2 I would probably say just sell your stuff and order online. Coming out to your parents is iffy especially if you're suicidal but, I don't know.