>when i was 15 i had a huge crush on antoine, this 17 year

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>when i was 15 i had a huge crush on antoine, this 17 year old charcoal black dude

>he was ultra friendly to everyone, genuinely good dude, athletic 6' and funny

>something was just a little off, hoped he was gay even though i knew it was impossible

>i slowly befriend him, one day we hang out and it slips out that i like him

>fuckmylife.gif

>"well, you've been a pretty great friend to me"

>friendzoned can i die

>"and I think i can trust you"

>bitchwhat.png

>says he's curious and maybe willing

>we hang out a lot more

>i feel like his straight buddy but also his gay pal

>thisfeelsamazing.webm

>then one day he tells me he's horny

>strips naked

>holy shit i now understand what a scrubboard stomach truly is

>we work our way from watching each other masturbate with no touch to handjobs to blowjobs to 69ing to showering to rubbing our dicks in each others asses

>my life is made forever

>he fucks me and takes my virginity

>antoine i choose you

>over time we fade away and stop talking completely by the time he's in his last semester and im 16

>what the fuck happened

>he tells me he's "not into that anymore"

>we sucked and fucked and hung out countless times for months

>nearly super saiyan with rage

>tell his neighbors we fucked because i knew he was closeted and i was hurt

>his father finds out

>antoine doesn't show up for days

>in hospital, his father beat the black off him

> he stomped on his head, fractured skull

>holy fuck what have i done

>weight of guilt never really goes away, constant burden, like heartbreak

>three years later, antoine doesn't realize what i did, just thought his father heard us or something

>he tells me he was molested when he was 6 and that's why he experimented

>probably will need years of therapy

>never hated myself more