Is anyone else way too fucked up emotionally to have relationships?

yep, me too.

I'm asexual

>>7904146
Yup. Dealing with the world has left me paranoid and suspicious.
To the point where I hold off from getting attached because people are just going to leave me or turn on me.
And then people spend ages prying me out of my shell, then revert to type and leave me or turn on me and make it that much harder for the next person who tries.
I just want someone who won't suddenly go crazy and turn on me, or suddenly decide I'm not worth talking to and cut contact, or not suddenly get 'busy' and not talk to me for weeks/months.

>>7904146
I realised it's been more than 15 years since I've felt love (and even then I'm not sure because I don't remember, but according to friend stories I had someone).
I still like how people in a relationship get closer, share skinship and all that jazz. I didn't try to get a platonic relationship as that seems too much trouble so I just lie and say I feel love.
First time was like the first time I stole something. Rush of adrenaline and guilt.
Now it's less pleasing but still worth it to avoid the drama of platonic relationships and still be that close to people. Plus it doesn't exclude sex.

I have a fear of relationships and sex, not sure what is wrong with me, I'm mtf

>>7905814
I think its because I want to be able to an hero anytime without hurting anyone. Also I am afraid that they cannot accept my mental illnesses

I guess, I'm just way too boring, depressed and unpassable to even have a hope of finding a partner.

Yeah. I'm isolating myself more and more from the people I already know and making sure I don't get to know anyone new. I'm anxious and slightly paranoid every time I have to set foot out the door, and then when I'm back I go right back to feeling terrible about life and trying to escape that feeling. Even if I did manage to meet someone, and I actually liked them enough to develop feelings (something that's yet to happen), I wouldn't want to try to start anything because I'm a self-loathing tranny with a confidence level in the negatives, so it would be a disservice to the other person to get involved in what would be a sexless relationship with someone who eventually commits suicide.