Were you ever abused as a child, legbut? Has it affected

>>7773055
define abuse please.
my dad hit me with a belt.
does that count?

I sucked my friend's dick for girl's phone numbers, then never even texted them, I have a weird thing about being on top and fucking super hard and without cumming for like 2 hours

>>7773055
not literally abused but i was lonely and coddled and now i'm agp. coincidence?

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>Were you ever abused as a child, legbut? Has it affected your sexuality?
Yes and probably.

>>7773055

I was never physically or sexually abused as a child. There was a time where I might have nearly been sexually abused. I didn't actually think there was anything dangerous about that event until I told the story to my father and he suggested that the guy might have wanted to molest me, though.

>>7773055
Yes and I don't know, maybe

When I was six, I was doing pretty well in my classes. I was socializing with kids, doing my work etc.

I went up to my uncle's house one weekend with my dad. All I remember is I fucked something up and got spanked by my uncle.

When I went back to school, I was quiet and withdrawn. Eventually I sat under the desk and pissed myself. I also had issues with holding in my poop in odd ways and staining my underwear brown up until I was 8, which I think started after that.

That's just what happened according to my mom, though

>>7773055
i was in an 'emotionally abusive' friendship with a borderline girl for 12 years of my childhood/teenage years if that counts

>>7773073
Any physical punishment is a form of abuse.

>>7773102
>borderline girl
What?

>>7773116
Borderline personality disorder, BPD. It's a disease that can't really be cured, it turns you into a monster who is never capable of trusting others or loving yourself, and you end up ruining the lives of everyone who tries to help you.

The only real way to deal with it is to do the right thing, and finally become a good person by isolating yourself from anyone you could ever hurt.

>>7773116
Borderline personality probably, not borderline as in "almost a girl"

also yeah my cousin did some shit to me when I was six and now I'm considering transitioning to being female ahahahaha

>>7773115
What about verbal?
My mom yelled at me for years.
Is that why I love huge cocks?

>>7773100

>When I was six, I was doing pretty well in my classes. I was socializing with kids, doing my work etc.
>When I went back to school, I was quiet and withdrawn. Eventually I sat under the desk and pissed myself. I also had issues with holding in my poop in odd ways and staining my underwear brown up until I was 8, which I think started after that.

That certainly sounds like a kid that's been abused. I'm >>7773089 and my father keeps thinking I've been abused even though the possibility that a guy was about to try to abuse me had never been in my mind and it was a genuinely novel idea to me when my father presented his interpretation. That moment happened when I was a very young child and I was a withdrawn child for all my life. I was also a good student up until 9th grade. If anything, rather than being incontinent, I held things in too much. I don't look anything like the profile of a sexually abused child, he's just desperate to claim some trauma or media brainwashing made me a tranny.

>>7773138
Yes that's abuse.
Huge cocks though, who knows?

>>7773055
My parents didn't buy me a new car when I graduated high school, like all of my friends parents did.
Does that qualify as abuse?
Also, I've never owned a Birkin Bag or Manolo Blahniks (LaBoutins?)
Why even live?

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I get a lot of shit for it from my friends who know about it, but whatever...
>be me
>13
>go with best friend's brother (18) to his crush's house
>he goes out to the shop for like an hour
>his crush takes me upstairs
>thiscantbehappening.jpg
>start kissing on her bed
>fuck
>yes
>she starts to touch me outside trousers
>notreadyforthisatallplsstop
>she doesn't stop
>start to get aggressive to try to get her off
>she gets me off the bed and tells me to stand against the wall
>actually concerned she might hurt me
>close my eyes, hope she goes away
>she doesn't

I'm bored of greentexting now. She basically made me give her head against the wall and eventually tried to have sex with me, but I couldn't get it up.. She ended up throwing us both out of her house and I had to walk home with my buddy and cried with him about it, but told him never to tell anyone.

I'm 19 now and I'm convinced it's why I'm so sexually insecure.. Pan-sexual, attracted to children (don't hate me, I'd never do anything), but I could never trust a partner sexually. My friends tell me I'm stupid; am I?

>>7774094

You would get the "you're being stupid" thing from a lot of people, particularly men. She was pretty enough for you to be excited at first, so of course any of them would think getting laid as a 13 year old by an older, pretty girl is nothing to complain about.

I was regularly beat up and bullied by both teachers and classmates for 12 years and had no friends until my senior year of high school. I was then emotionally abused by 3 boyfriends.

I'm gay because I don't trust people in general but I trust women even less

>>7774107
Yeah, I understand, and yes even now I would tell you she was gorgeous
I'm glad I'm not pathetic, thank you..

>>7773055
I got bullied for many many years by adults, teachers and students at a Christian school. Most of it was verbal or isolating but I occasionally got hit.

MtF, but everyone thought I was gay and so they made me out to be some pathetic inferior subhuman. At the time I hated it and had a lot of problems like bruxism and bed wetting that just wouldn't go away.

I ended up transitioning and now my biggest kinks are being dominated, degraded and pushed around... But that's most women anyway so maybe it was just meant to be.

>>7774540
How did the adults and teachers bully you?

>>7773100
>>7773158
I have a vague memory of something that happened when I was 5. I remember being on the end of my parents' bed face down. There was a woman in front of me holding my arms down, and a man behind me doing stuff to my butt, and I was screaming like crazy. Don't know who it was or what was happening though. I had the same problem of holding in poop at that time. Was it just an enema? I also have a vague memory of a babysitter's boyfriend coming over to our house once, which wasn't allowed, and commenting on how I was a little fag. Was it related? No fucking clue. I became a bit obsessed with playing prisoner around that time also.

A few years later when I was like 7, I remember being in the shower with my dad, which seems odd. I remember he commented on the size of his dick. That's the only part of the memory.

Then one other time when I was 7, while my mom was on bed rest for months during a difficult pregnancy. I hardly ever got to see her. One day, I wanted to cuddle with my mom, and knew that I couldn't jump on the bed or be rowdy and noisy, but my grandparents said I wasn't allowed into her room. I snuck in anyways, and my grandpa whipped me with a belt for it.

Another time, my dad and I got in a fight while my mom was gone. When she came home, I was crying on the steps outside, and the first thing she asks is "did he touch you?". Which could mean nothing, but she specifically said "touch" not "hurt" or something else. Again, I have no idea. My mom was always really cautious of strange men when we went places too. I couldn't sleep without the door blocked or with a motion sensor, and would get almost nightly nightmares until I was 23.

Physically and emotionally neglected, yeah. I basically didn't have parents, they were just busy people who I never saw or talked to, ever. And there wasn't anyone else either. I was just alone. In a house they never cleaned or fixed or acknowledged the state of.

I don't know if it affected anything, probably not. If anything in life turned me gay it was the internet.

>>7773055
not sexually
but I had my emotional stability and self-worth systematically deconstructed by my father from a young age as a result of him being absolutely, literally psychotic, in addition to being a traditionalist

>>7773055
Pretty much every way, yeah. My parents were emotionally and physically abusive, and I was sexually abused by multiple people outside the home - probably in part because I was so emotionally needy and clung to adults who gave me any positive attention.

I'm confident it didn't make me trans (I was pretty classically a tomboy FtM practically from birth), and I don't really believe that kind of thing changes your sexual orientation (I was sexually abused by both genders anyway, so what would the result of that be?) but it definitely affected me in other ways.

I have a strange interest in adult/child shit, especially teacher/student. I don't really like to "go there" with anything younger than maybe 14-15 (though I was younger myself), as it just doesn't sit right with me. But I have read lots of teacher/student-type erotica set in high schools. I am most fascinated by the young person seducing the adult, and I think that's just me trying to "control" the story, mentally.

I also have huge trust issues. I'm kinky, but cannot submit, only dom. I don't know if I'd maybe been capable of switching otherwise. Maybe, maybe not, but I know for sure I can only dom now because I HAVE to be the one calling the shots so I feel comfortable.

>>7774094
Stay a gold star and we're good, anon. I'm sorry you pulled the sexuality short straw; just keep your head.

It also really sucks that people don't take the abuse of boys seriously. Whether or not people take my own abuse seriously seems to depend a lot on whether they know my natal sex or not, which is super fucked. I find the dismissal of the abuse of boys (especially by females) so infuriating.

>>7774802
>I have a vague memory of something that happened when I was 5. I remember being on the end of my parents' bed face down. There was a woman in front of me holding my arms down, and a man behind me doing stuff to my butt, and I was screaming like crazy. Don't know who it was or what was happening though. I had the same problem of holding in poop at that time. Was it just an enema?

Oh shit anon, I had the same thing happen. Maybe a bit younger, like 3-4ish. It was my parents holding me down, though. I know for sure they just put something in my butt to help me poop (they weren't trying to abuse me, they were trying to pep talk me through it), but I think it was traumatic anyway because it was SO painful and violating. I remember just screaming and screaming, and at one point they pushed my face into a pillow to muffle it and I could barely breathe.

I asked my mom about it years later, and she looked puzzled and told me that all the treatments I got for constipation at that age were oral. I insisted to her that I had NOT swallowed this, they put it in my ass. She completely denied it.

But it wasn't the first time she's denied doing something to me that hurt which I know I did not invent. And that memory is quite vivid. I'm confident it happened.

>>7775203
I'm ashamed to say that when I read your mom denying it, I trusted her until I got to
>But it wasn't the first time she's denied doing something to me that hurt which I know I did not invent.
What was it that you know she did but she lied about?

It's really nasty to put a kid through pain and trauma like that, even for medicine. Lying about it afterwards is just adding insult. What's even the point of lying if she knows you remember it? Maybe she hoped you'd doubt yourself or it made her feel less guilty about hurting you.

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>>7773055
>dad belittled me, threatened me, hit me, etc.
>despise men with all my heart
>functionally lesbian despite being bi leaning on straight

I was abused by a woman, so I'm much more afraid of women. But I was, and always have been, a lesbian. I still struggle with talking to girls.

>>7775310

What you need is a man to show you some kind, gentle love.

>>7773055
>were you ever abused as a child
was molested as a child (and spanked, verbally abused, and locked in the closet regularly but eh)
>has it affected your sexuality
I personally think being molested by a man has had at least a little bit of effect on me being trans, but idk

>>7775391
>has had at least a little bit of effect on me being trans
explain?

>>7775475
i dont know, im drunk right now so keep that in mind. I was young and impressionable, it just feel like it fucked up my brain to some degree. like i felt dysphoria before the primary incident, but i feel like it made me feel broken on the inside

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>>7773055
>Were you ever abused as a child?
yes.
>Has it affected your sexuality?
I'm a transexual. THANKS, DAD!

>high school
>forced on my knees in the locker room by two upper classmen
>one forced his junk in my mouth
>too afraid losing my status as a popular guy to tell anyone

I already knew the moment I graduated I was going to get on hrt because I'm a filthy tranny so I don't think it had any effect.

>>7775640


Were they cute? would u fuck them if u saw them again? (assuming they didnt get ugly)

>>7774672
Constant detention for no reason. Being told I would go to hell on a regular basis. Being downgraded or my assignments somehow not turning up even though I submitted them.

One case when I was much younger one teacher decided that I was talking, walked over and grabbed me by the arm, made and effort to twist it then dragged me across the room to utility closet and shoved me inside it. Apparently, I couldn't be quite even when I was completely isolated in the corner of the room. I figure the symbolism was pretty clear, I knew why they hated me.

Told the principle about all the things that kept happening to me. He just dismissed me and said that I was imagining things.

>>7775640
Obviously you weren't the good kind of popular if guys are forecfully face fucking you

>>7775654
The one who forced himself on me killed himself a couple years ago. The other one... I'm going to assume in prison.

>>7775732
And being a popular sophmore doesn't mean dick to seniors. No matter how cool you are, being forced in such a way would have been impossible to recover socially from.

Idk, at the time I had a lot to prove. I did my best to be macho til I could get out of school

>>7775666
What on earth did they treat you like that for? Did you ever tell your parents or anyone outside the school?

Physically, emotionally, and sexually abused. Now I'm a tranny so something fucked up somewhere

ok so I dug this one up recently, my feels hurt a lot. I guess it comes with undoing repression.

>be 9 closet bi/mtf/agp/wtf
>brother 12, bully - like - traumatizing
>At my Dads, awake before him, he wakes up around 11
>I woke up 6-7, my brother woke up 7-8
>That's 3+ hours prime raping time
>both got yugioh decks, but he always beats me
>always made me feel like shit about anything he could
>tailored his deck to beat mine evrytim
>"suck my dick or I'll beat you at yugioh again" or something
>dumb 9 yr old gets raped by pubescent brother meme
>at my dads every 3rd weekend, this goes on for months
>try to block it out forever but you can't

Maybe it made me a pathetic sub, desu I'd rather have my sexuality be my own rather than my abusers.

he was recently a humongous cunt when i came out to my family, using a still birth my parents had between us as motive for wanting more of my dads love. basically now I realize that I could destroy him and everything he is if he ever does anything to me ever again. But frankly I don't think I'm going to see him very soon. Every time I try and forgive this cunt he fucks me over. Now my heart hurts like I've been shot.

>>7775915
jesus, that's pretty awful anon. i'm sorry you had to go through that.

would you ever consider going to a therapist? they might be able to help you overcome some of the trauma

i dated a 25 year old when i was 14
i already knew very well that i was a straight trans guy by then, but i think it made me hebephilic
also i think said ex's identity (she identifies as ftm but keeps going back and forth on it, and still hasn't transitioned in any way past 'online friends call me a guy' today at almost 30) was influenced by her own childhood physical abuse

>>7775237
>What was it that you know she did but she lied about?
Many things. I made the post above that too, my parents were fucked up.

When I was about 7-8ish, I brought home a flower to give her for Mother's Day. I got it off another kid, but she didn't believe me when I told her that (tbf, I was the school punching bag, it was weird someone was nice to me) and accused me of stealing it. When I insisted I hadn't stolen it, she beat me for lying. Stripped me at one point, threw me into a tub of hot water to sensitize my skin, pulled me out and hit me until I finally "confessed."

Years later, I told her, "I really didn't steal that flower. Why did you refuse to ever believe me? You hit me for hours." She looked me dead in the eye and said, "What? That never happened."

My mom is a little...not right. I love her, but she's sorta not mentally an adult. She grew up a bit too rich (think scaled-down Trump family, my grandfather came from dirt but he ended up owning international tourist hotels) and then had me very young and never finished school and moved in with my dad. My dad took care of her until he left her when I was 18, and she never had to take care of herself until then. I think she just never really completely grew up. She'll make herself out to be the victim in literally every situation, and she will just declare reality to be whatever she wants it to be. She's a princess, really.

I didn't totally accept that until a couple of years ago, but then I found out she was overcharging me for the use of a family phone line to the tune of thousands since I'd started paying her. I was giving her cash, just trusting her to charge me the right amount. She denied everything (plus multiple other issues with that phone, I went to the provider myself to get the story) and told me I was being "entitled" because she let me use the phone at all.

Our relationship now is I live far away, keep my distance and expect no more from her than I would from a child.

>>7775915
Jesus christ. There is no need to forgive him if you get nothing out of it, anon. He sounds like a terrible human being. Would your parents believe you if you told them? He deserves to be cut off.

>>7773073
Yeah that counts
>>7773089
I almost got abducted once it's spooky
>>7773100
I can relate to this. Grade 1 and 2 I was very smart, out going hard working would raise my hand and ask and answer questions dreamed of being old enough to get a job etc. Then grade 3 came I was very different, people even told me this, I started failing, had to go into special classes lost all my friends and was never the same. These things can fuck kids up.
>>7773102
Sounds awful
>>7773222
>people actually get cars as presents
still blows my fucking mind
>>7774094
why would anyone tell you you're stupid? :(
>>7774802
>I had the same problem of holding in poop at that time
>I also had issues with holding in my poop in odd ways and staining my underwear brown up until I was 8
I'm surprised and scared that this seems common after this sorta stuff. I'd just not use the bathroom ever and have accidents. I did not even know there was a hole there for most of my life I just never ever EVER thought about how things work down there
>and the first thing she asks is "did he touch you?
my mom used to ask me that a lot too
>>7774872
I think my dad got kicked out of my house when I was in grades 3-5. My mom had to work to support the family all the time so I'd get the keys to the house out of the mail box and I'd be home alone a lot

>>7776047
Oh god, this sounds like my mom.
I got goosebumps reading the "confession" bit: that happened so often.
I was terrified to lie and "confess" also because I would go to hell.
Ugh.

>>7773055
My sister was all around shit to me when were growing up.
She'd yell at me, hit me, and go out of her way to make sure I got in trouble if she found something out.
Besides that? Kids in my school, my brother, and sometimes other relatives would make fun of me for not acting "black enough".
I never got beat up for it but I did get a lot of verbal abuse. Getting beat up would just happen at random and I dont know why.
It didnt effect my sexuality, I dont think. Honestly, I think how I lost my virginity affected my sexuality more than anything else.
I never got shit for being fat though, which you'd think would be a go-to but no. I didn't get shit about being fat until my mom remarried when I was like 23 or so and it was mostly from my stepdad.

>>7773055

I was sexually abused as a kid. I turn out to be a cis straight white male that hates gay people.

>>7775779
I was rather 'girly' in terms of mannerism which in turn sparked a rumour that I was gay. In typical christian fashion they began punishing me. There was an active effort on everyone's in part to socially isolate me for 3 years. I still think they were worried that I would corrupt other kids or turn them gay.

I told my parents everyday and they never believed me, I had no-one else outside of school. I was just alone through all of it. I don't mean to rant but I still get really upset when I tell people because people still thinking I'm over reacting or making things up.

My parents only just started to believe me after I switched schools to a secular school (for my last two years) because my report cards literally went from "Anon is a disruptive student, he constantly distracts from classes and acts in a shameful manner. Anon is failing in all subjects. Anon obviously has ADHD and should be medicated" to "Anon is the most lovely member of my class, he is gentle, politely mannered and very kind hearted. Anon seems shy for a young man of his age, despite this he is very popular among his classmates. I am thoroughly satisfied with his grades and believe he will succeed in any area he sets his mind to".

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No.

But, even as a young kid, I remember wishing someone would molest me. I had a fixation with a coach from a sports team I was in, and always fantasized that he'd take advantage me in the locker rooms after practice, and it would be our little "secret".

Nothing ever happened, of course.

>>7773055
>Were you ever abused as a child, legbut?
Yes.

>Has it affected your sexuality?
No.

My brother used to beat me, my parents never punished him because that's just what boys do, and I was sexually abused and raped regularly from the age of about seven to twelve by the guy I called my best friend because he was nice to me i.e. not physically or emotionally cruel
Oh man except that one time when we were like ten he slammed my head into the wall and called me a faggot because I had a penis and I was letting him fuck me
Ahahahahahahaha I'm trans

>>7775177
I completely agree with the abuse of boys part, its dumbfounding to me that females are so callous towards boys. When you said you are FtM my only reaction is "okay yeah that makes the clingy behavior more risky :(" idk hoe someone can feel like its suddenly worse...


Ive read everyones stories btw. Sorry, guys. You didn't deserve any of that

>>7778715
>TIL brothers are the fucking worst
all firstborn males should be eunuchs to avoid further suffering

>>7773055

Cis Les

Dad:

Cons: Hit me, shouted at me, called me stupid, told me to fuck off if he was doing something interesting like fix cars, then ten years down the line bemoaned why I had no interest in his things if I was gay.

Pro: First one to accept I was gay and did it without hesitation.

Mom:

Cons Belittled me, played a lot of mind games involving her dying, beat me with a metal spoon, tried to disown me when I came out. Took five years for her to come around

Older female cousin fingered me when I was 13 and she was 16. I didn't mind it as much as I thought I would have.

Result: Passive, sub, no real life skills beyond home economics, generally will try to avoid family.

>>7782720

Also my first girlfriend mentally abused me, but I think she couldn't help herself. She had some serious issues involving suicide attempts I had to talk her down and she would blame me for it and I would believe her. Looking back, I was 16 and way over my head. I talked to her a few years ago. She apologized and we talked it out over drinks.

Was abused pretty bad. Not sure how I'm a functioning adult.

Mother wanted a girl instead and never wanted me at all to begin with so she used to sell me to pedos for money so she could keep gambling.

Most of the abusers were female and to this day I still have anxiety attacks just hearing a woman's voice. Can't be in a room alone with one unless I have a gun.

Anal doesn't really feel good or like anything at all to me. Still have burns all over my body and oddly colored spots.

Anyway when I got herpes or something when one of the rapists infected me they threw me away back to my mother. She was pretty unhappy about that and used to beat me all the time telling me it was my fault her source of money was gone.

Mother used to find creative ways to torture me and tell me all the time I should have been a girl instead. She'd do things like bring home girls from church (she was devoutly religious and told me God thought I was a horrible person and deserved to suffer) and treat them like princesses and adore them with affection I never got.

My aunt was a lot worse, from ages 6 to 8 and like 12 to 13 it was nothing but constant beatings while tied up or waterboarding. Just thinking about it is making my hands shake so I don't want to go further there.

A lot of teachers were really abusive and insensitive since I was the "borderline aspie but really smart kid that can't socialize so we hate him". No counselor or therapist really believed me.

A whole lot of abandonment and abusive incidents, my family used to dump me in the middle of nowhere and make me find my way back home alone at really young ages. The upside is I have a good sense of direction now and sense of survival skills.

Anyway surprise surprise I came out as trans when I was like 15 and they kicked me out.

>>7773125
Fuck you, dude

>>7782729
>>7782720

Repressed memory just hit me.

>be 14
>Went over to a friends house.
>Parents tell me that I should drop by this party their friends are throwing
>They have a couple of girls my age a daughter to their friend and her best friend
>Say okay
>Drop by the party, say hello to the hosts, hosts take me downstairs where the girls are hanging out and head back upstairs.
>Girls talk to me, we hang out.
>suddenly they start flirting
>the friend grabs me by the shirt and drags me to a chair
>They tie me up with bungie cords
>I try to protest. One of them sticks panties in my mouth.
>They aren't freshly washed
>They start hitting on me with slaps
>The daughter of my parents friend sits on me, leans in and bites my neck
>This goes on for about an hour and a half until the party starts to die down. Parents come down stairs, they unbind me and act like nothing happened.


Oh fuck so that's where the sub came from.

>>7778541
i thought you were cara at first
i keep mixing up nicole maines and miranda cosgrove

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My brother would rape me every night, with my father and mother emotionally abusing me for years.

Now i like being beaten, cut, verbally abused to the extreme and animal torture turns me on.
Some other stuff i suppose-as-well.

was abused physically and verbally and weird sexual stuff happened with my older brother and a best friend
but one of my earliest memories is watching myself being approached by someone and then everything fading to white with some sort of white noise,
i'd see that as a recurring nightmare until i was about twelve and pissed myself especially at night til then too. I was always scared of aliens and thought it was them but maybe i was molested?
I've always been awkward/teriffied around most men, not sure if i'm cis gay or straight trans desu

>>7773055
All the time

Definitely

>>7773055
Beaten, physically tortured, psychologically abused, and sexually abused.

I distrust and fear men to the point of near hatred. Pretty typical.

>>7775915
time to get a gun anon

>neighbor kid raped me from 4-8

Don't think it affected anything except that now I can't get off without some kind of abuse

My dad used to call me out for being to fem when I was younger and always try to put me down as a means to repress my mom called me crazy I was the middle child though so they didn't pay much attention to me and I got away with alot
I had two guy cousins that would play games with me around the ages of 6 and 10 basically just touched my dick made me touch theirs and sometimes like put my mouth on it to kiss it but never went to far from that
And I had another female relative that liked to play house with me and she would make me rub my penis on her vagina alot and would like to Dom me I guess like I was a small kid like even now some women are bigger than me and I'm 26 but I feel like she liked the fact she could try to seduce me and at the same time overpower my little body
Later on in life one of the male cousins ended up staying at my house and the games continued and this time he offered me money for sex told him no but he wanted to fuck I was pretty feminine kid because I already knew I wanted to be a girl at a young age so he told me if I was a girl he is gonna treat me like one he was stronger than me so I couldn't fight him.
I don't think it affected my sexuality or my transness because i knew what i was at a young age before the abuse but I did figure out I was into guys at 7 years old and girls 12 basically bi but didn't know the word for it so there might be something to it, But it did make me a little asexual like sex grosses me out sometimes unless it's really romantic and for love other than that one night stands and general random make outs freak me out sometimes. It did make me repress hardcore too.

>>7775177
>Whether or not people take my own abuse seriously seems to depend a lot on whether they know my natal sex or not, which is super fucked. I find the dismissal of the abuse of boys (especially by females) so infuriating.
I wasn't even abused and this makes being male seem so utterly unpleasant.

>>7785023
I was never abused, but vanilla sex is lame desu.

my dad was a big "spare the rod, spoil the child" believer

guys still make me uncomfortable

>>7787832
I don't think spanking is what OP meant, but if it affected you that badly maybe you count.

>>7773138
How come you're not into femdoms, anon? The human brain is a shitshow.

>>7773055
My parents, particularly my father, were verbally and physically abusive. To a lesser extent sexually. My father would sneak into the bathroom to watch me shower and would constantly say things like "look at the size of your balls" when punishing me (to punish it was typically slapping, whipping with a belt anywhere on the body and a lot of screaming obscenities). He is an alcoholic and alcohol definitely aggravated it; the more intoxicated he became the more pleasure he got from abusing us.

I think it has affected my sexuality and it destroyed my self esteem growing up. I can't function in a relationship without sabotaging it.

>>7787862
belts, sticks, the remains of a wooden bow...i'd say it counts

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>>7787940
Read this: https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Alcoholics-Janet-Woititz/dp/1558741127/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1487586587&sr=1-1&keywords=adult+children+of+alcoholics

Adult children of alcoholics are self-sabotagers. They also have difficulty with intimate relationships, accomplishing goals, and having fun. Feel like you're guessing at what "normal" is? Read this book.

>>7774150
What would be pathetic is if you took action on minors... like that girl did to you.

>>7782753
holy shit anon, well done for being functional/alive I wanna die so bad I can barely get up in the morning but you had it waaaaay worse. GG wp

>>7782916
isn't the human race kind, I'm sorry chara, at least you know they'll die one day

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Is it normal to be missing like 3 years of your life do to repression?

I also had anal at 15 with a friend, then he took advantage of me for the first year of that because I could not come out. Thought normal sex would fix me.

It's caused a lot of confusion and self harm,but it helped me figure out stuff.

>>7792691
>to be missing like 3 years of your life
What do you mean?

>>7792739
I have a couple gaps in memory the probably due to them being horrible. Most of them being middle school when I got beat up a lot.

I wanna know why I forgot them, I know i shouldn't open that door but what do I have to loose.

>>7775341
Said no woman ever

>>7773055
Nah. But I do have mommy/daddy issues.

I'm pretty emotionally distant with mi padre and my mom's both bipolar and a gossip.

Guess I felt like I couldn't really talk to either of them. Still do but not as bad.

It is what it is. It may or may not have anything to do with my sexuality but that's neither here nor there for me at this point.

>>7793300
I'd consider that perfectly normal
Due to adhd, several brain injuries, and a lifetime of trauma my short and long term memory are about as reliable as a wet paper bag
My mom doesn't believe me when I say I don't remember things even though my therapist specifically told her I have trouble forming memories

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>>7788092
Just ordered this today... thank you for the suggestion.

>>7794022
Alright I thought I was making things up. I wrote down one night all that I could remember from 6-8th grade. I am gonna bring it to a therapist once I find a decent one.

also fuk ur mum.

>>7788044
Yes, that's abuse.

>>7773055
drugged out in mental hospital at 16, barely remember blowing roommate for most of the nights there. drugs basically made me a zombie and roommate was fully aware that I wasn't capable of telling him I didn't actually want to do it.

it definitely woke me up to the fact that I am extremely attracted to dudes, not sure if it really affected my sexuality other than that tho.

>>7782789
Girls do this to each other?!

>>7775915
I had an ex who was raped by his brother. It only happened once or twice according to him, but he was totally batshit. Super violent towards me; that's actually why we split. Homophobic as fuck.
Anyway, his brother and family pretend nothing ever happened despite him having to go to the doctor for butt problems. The brother is always extremely quiet and reserved. Never heard him raise his voice once. I think he's still ashamed.
So awkward being in a room alone with those two.

>>7773055
raised by uncle, serbian war vet, yelled at me a whole fucking lot while expecting me to be able to deal with his depression

made me despise mascfags, but not really anything other than that

Cis les
Mum and step dad sexually abused me when I was 5, step dad continued it on and off till I was 15. The abuse from my step dad only affected me a small amount really. I worked through it all fairly well, and ended up getting past (as much as possible) it a few years ago.
My resentment against my mum is still a huge issue though, and I attribute a part of my sexuality to her "betrayal". Mummy issues ftw.
Honestly I probably would have been at least bi otherwise. I have tranny thoughts sometimes too but if anything the abuse has made me repress it rather than exacerbating it.

>>7773055
Almost all trans people were abused, or what would've been considered abuse if they had been cis.

But no, it doesn't affect sexuality.

>>7782769
Typical angry, impulsive response of a borderline.

>>7775915
Oh shit I can relate somewhat i'm a non transitioning AGP and bottomed with my older brother as the top. This happened around 11 possibly earlier. My brother was a bully towards me but wasn't sexually aggressive. He wouldn't outright rape me or coerce me, but he showed me pornography and encouraged me to masturbate and experiment with him. This profoundly screwed me up and caused me to misbehave in school which send me down the wrong path.

He does regret what he did but blames it on my father for being abusive. My dad was an angry blue collar boomer who wouldn't put up with my brother's defiant bullshit when he came home from work. So he got lots of verbal and physical abuse, some of which he was asking for.

I've always wondered if i'm only AGP because I was abused, or if that would of popped up on its own down the line. I'm also maybe a little bi like you, but strictly in an AGP sorta way. I never explore my bi side I keep it buried. Just easier and more natural being gynephilic although i'm practically a wizard.

>>7773055
No and no. It's shoddy causation seeking. Life is confusing and scary so people feel the need to contextualize everything that happens in their life.

>>7804057

Can't speak for all girls, but they did it to me, that's for sure.

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my dad spanked me and it made me gay

>>7805910
Yeah, causality between curing dysphoria and transitioning doesn't exist.

>>7773055
only got slapped on my ass once and that was to send me to bed as a kid

i mean i was bullied a lot and somehow i'm bisexual now

>>7785304
Have you ever heard of punctuation? See that little symbol at the end of my first sentence? It tells the reader where the end of the sentence is, and also that it was a question. Neat, huh?

> be me 14 yo. to 17 yo.
> molested by a 25 yo. guy
> me at 18 yo.
> molested by a 26 yo. guy
> get first formal bf at 19 yo.
> break up because we couldn't intimate
> never try to intimate with any guy after him
> be me 23 yo. molested by a 21 yo. girl
> sleep with her countless times

was I broken or was I lesbian all the time ?

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Absolutely. My brother sexually harassed me as a kid by masturbating around me all the time and taking showers with me when it was just us home. I hated it and I'm pretty sure it's the main reason I have such a degraded sense of masculinity now, and by extension, gender dysphoria and AGP. Worst part is no one in my family will believe me so I'm kinda alone on all of this, but you know, you learn to deal with these feelings over time. By now it's just normal, which sounds kinda fucked up, but what can you do? It's either accept reality or commit suicide (which I've tried twice).

>>7806387
Fucking 4chan posters need to stop diddling underage girls just becuase they are grills.

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

At 11 some girl my cousin knew who was 17 forced herself on me and I tried to force it away till I just learned to live with it at 18 just made me even more nervous around people can't really say it changed my sexuality much if at all

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>>7793469
Out of curiosity, where are you from? You sound like someone I used to know.

>>7799337
What were you originally in the hospital for? If you don't mind me asking.

>>7805605
I think certain factors can affect sexuality. I was never attracted to men before certain factors took effect (see >>7807061), and here I am now. Maybe I just didn't know I was into men before then, but I guess I have know way of knowing the truth for certain.

>>7807399
Georgia USA.

>>7807417
Damn, not who I thought it was. Still, I hope everything continues okay for you.

>>7773055
yes. yes, i am now a nymphomaniac.

>>7773055
I knew some kid named Steven in high school that was beaten by his mom with a whip or some shit for discipline, and he was eventually diagnosed with nymphomania or something.
kek