Not trying to come off as an asshole here. I think i'm being

If I have no intention of ever sleeping with you, then the state of my genitals is none of your business.

>>7762391
I am pretty sure the majority of transgender people understand that full disclosure is important before things reach the bedroom, not just as a courtesy but for their own safety.

>>7762417
no but the thing is if a trans person is hitting on someone i'm pretty sure that's their intention. Like no don't walk up to random people and say I still have a dick. If you are flirting with someone you should just mention that they may not like what you have down there.

>>7762432
Any smart trans woman will know that they're basically stuck with Cinderella syndrome, by which I mean, they can't let the ruse last any longer than a single night. So just run away before morning. As long as you stick to that rule, never let a guy close enough to find out the truth, never return his calls, etc... You should be fine. All the validation without any of the risk, and you can have non-normies outside of the club scene as your actual sex partners, like an accepting bi girl or something.

>>7762448
>ruse
>never let a guy close enough to find out the truth
If you are pre-op (or non-op), I do not see how you can possibly ruse someone you are in bed with... nevermind the fact how unethical it is to trick people into sex under false pretense.

>>7762448
>all the validation
That... actually makes sense. I didn't even think of that. So these girls do this kind of thing just as a confidence booster or something? So they can prove to themselves they can pass as a real girl?

>>7762490
shit sorry that last part sounded bad. I didn't mean to imply trans aren't real girls. I meant biological women? Is that better? Don't want to accidentally piss anyone off lol like I said I support the whole gender identity thing.

Yeah, only nutjobs think it is moral to sleep with someone without disclosing.

If you want disclosure just for flirting OP, you're being very unreasonable. You're asking a girl to endanger herself for light flirting because you're uncomfortable. That's not very fair.

>>7762481
I think what they meant was this

>go to bar
>cute guy comes up to you
>buys you a drink
>you 2 talk
>start flirting
>maybe they start feeling on your leg or something
>you get some validation from this which is all you wanted
>get out of situation before their hand travels a bit too far north
>give a fake number or something idk

you don't go anywhere outside of the bar with them. Or for that matter anywhere private for anything intimate.

>>7762513
wait how can you sleep with someone without them discovering your penis? Tell me your secrets /lgbt/! I'm obviously not hiding it right.

>>7762481
>nevermind the fact how unethical it is to trick people into sex under false pretense.
That's too much of a gray area though. Is it unethical to have sex with someone, if they would refuse to do so if they saw my browser history?

>>7762513
alright that makes sense I guess. So they should disclose after flirting if hands start coming into play? Like light groping? Or not even then? I feel like that might be dangerous too if you're feeling each other and BAM penis!

>>7762541
Apples and oranges. Your natal sex is very important information for a sexual relationship (or just a sexual encounter). Your browser history is not.

>>7762490
Yeah pretty much, I mean that's most of the reason I go to clubs in the first place. It's two parts validation, two parts getting free drinks (which is basically just more validation), one part having a good time with my cis girl bros, and one part the tiny chance that someone might notice me who doesn't care about me being trans.

>>7762517
Yeah, except I've actually made the mistake of going outside the bar a few times, but only to get free food. And one of those times the guy got creepy, and I had to run away in an Uber.

I have a mtf friend who got beat up because she didn't disclose. It really scared me so if anything I mention that earlier than most probably do. It was bad... she was really messed up but luckily the guy went to jail so at least there's that. She's still dealing with it though and scared of new people.

>>7762646
I hate to say it, but your friend really should have known better than to do that.

>>7762677
>victim blaming

>>7762677
oh go fuck yourself you don't even know. The guy got handsy way too early. They were flirting then he started touching her before she knew it his hand was on her thigh and... yeah... he noticed. She didn't initiate physical contact. She wasn't touching him, he touched her. Without her consent. His fault for getting too frisky too soon before she had the chance to bring it up.

>>7762687
I hate that meme. I'm not absolving violent hateful people of guilt, but you have to be smart because you know they are out there.

>>7762696
Well that's different. The way you worded ("she didnt disclose") made it seem like she had gone to the bedroom with him before disclosing.

>>7762696
On her thigh and he noticed? Was she not tucking?

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>>7762391

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If you're intentions are fucking then yeah

>>7762391
fuck you dude
Getting tricked by a mtf is my fetish
also who the fuck are you to tell transgendered people what to do, fuck you
If you were a virgin, would you tell girls unsolicited? The whole point of transitioning is to act and be treated like a girl, to deal with dysphoria. Telling everyone you have a dick kind of kills that.

>>7762543
That's very tough. I'd say no disclosure is necessary for verbal flirting and touching which is not especially intimate (e.g. shoulders). Past that point depends on many factors - intentions, who started what, whether or not you are in public. I'd say she's justified in not disclosing if she's ended up alone (say, a dark parking lot) and there's a chance she'll be attacked. (Just get away at that point - disclosure should happen in populated public areas for safety.)

I'm not an MtF, I'm an FtM, but I have specifically avoided clubbing because of shit like this. I'd be mortified if someone grabbed my butt or whatever (it's happened when friends dragged me out) and then got upset after because they wouldn't have done it if they'd known I was trans. I've only dated people who were friends first, and I don't initiate anything. I'm not comfortable with the boundaries between "don't make other people feel violated" and "be a normal person who doesn't owe every stranger your personal business."

>>7762391
if you're this paranoid it's your duty to ask her if she has a vagina or penis not hers to tell you

>>7762989
OP said he had personally experienced this.

It's not paranoia when it's true.

>>7762391
How annoying is it that you have to tell every guy to comes on to you that you have a dick then they go and tell others and your night out is ruined?

You can't tell them to go away before hand neither because they are persistent and get angry because they feel like you think you are too good for them sort of thing.

>>7763038
oh shit my thread is still alive. Cool. Guess this is one of the boards where threads actually last a long time.

Yeah I have but i'm admittedly a bit more likely to deal with this kind of stuff. I live in a very liberal state, in a liberal town, very close to one of those liberal arts colleges. Big gay community here so as you can guess also trans. Most people probably don't have to worry about this kind of thing lol it's all good though I didn't even think of it from the other pov desu. Like the validation, wanting to actually feel like you're a true biological women, forget even for a little bit that you still have a penis. Yeah I get it now. Before I was just like well if you have a dick I don't like dick so don't lead me on... but i'm more understanding now.

You guys are A LOT more reasonable than half the people I deal with every day. At least you can explain things and make sense without muh discrimination, muh homo/transphobia, muh CIS white straight male pride blinding yourself! Gets to a point where you just say alright fuck it, it's not even worth asking or talking about things to better understand people. You just get shit on for asking even a simple question sometimes. Thanks guys.

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>>7763866
i didn't really read the thread, but you sound really cool OP. this might be the first time i've actually seen someone on 4chan admit their view on something might have actually changed just a tiny bit. thanks for being so chill