Women Who like other women: When did you first realize you where

I was 21. I fought it pretty hard for about 8 years before that.

I used to feel like it sucked that I wasn't straight enough, never worried about not being gay enough. In my mind I just thought of myself as bi and was waiting for the right dude. Even today I catch myself thinking "fuck quit checking out that girl and being so goddamn gay".

I don't really pay much mind to the stereotypical shit. It took me so long to just be cool with "lesbian" that I can't be bothered to get into the asinine style details of stud/femme/butch/futch/tomboy or whatever.

I never really get much shit. At least from other gays. Online I see a lot of people bitching about bisluts or muhgoldstar or femme v butch but irl it's yet to come up. I'm sure there are dykes like that but maybe they just don't go out to gay stuff or date around enough here.

I've gotten some of that kinda "you don't look gay" or "didn't you date that guy years ago? how are you gay now?" from straights. But I just shrug it off. To me it's better than more outright homophobic shit.

>>7732455
Hmm. I usually keep to myself so I haven't interacted with many other lesbians.
I assumed you where just automatically sorted into a specific role.

>>7732455
>I used to feel like it sucked that I wasn't straight enough, never worried about not being gay enough. In my mind I just thought of myself as bi and was waiting for the right dude. Even today I catch myself thinking "fuck quit checking out that girl and being so goddamn gay".

This is what I'm going through right now. I'm id'ing as bi but to be honest I have never liked a guy, the same way I've had crushes on girls. I'm still young so I probably haven't met a guy yet I like, but then again I might just be gay

>>7730478
I had a couple of telling things happen when I was 7-8, but I was 10 when I developed a crush on a girl in my class.
Told my parents who were very supportive and then decided I was definitely gay like a month later.
After that I went through a very awkward and painful period of suppression, like "OK, I figured it out, time to push it down and away" where I kind of felt disgusted about myself. Then I tried to embrace it with short hair and flannel and all that and it made me hate myself even more.

I just wear what I like now. Sometimes it looks dykey and sometimes not, I don't really style myself based on my sexuality because ultimately it's not that big of a deal.

>>7735026
If I'm with a very butch girl she'll put me into the femme role and if I'm with a very femme girl she'll put me into the butch role but other than those two extremes I don't really feel sorted into it much. Like most other lesbians are just happy with another girl to eat out and get eaten out by that the minor style and whatever roles don't matter.

But other people might sort you. Right now I've been with this girl for a while and when we first started dating people thought I was the more "guy" in the relationship cause I'm more into doing that romancing shit and I asked her out and paid for dates and she moved in with me and I kinda have dudish hobbies. Now that she's a full on firefighter and has cut her hair shorter everyone thinks she's the guy in the relationship. But I don't hear that kinda "who's the guy?" thing near as much from other gays and between us I don't think of it like that and neither does she.

I also feel like younger lesbians aren't as concerned about the whole femme/butch thing as older 35+ lesbians. Just muh personal observations from how older homos talk. But this shit could vary across state/country lines. Dykes in mexico city might do shit different than dykes in ontario or whatever.

>>7735111
I really wish I hadn't wasted so much time stressing over it and trying to force myself straight. So my advice for a younger me would be to just stop worrying about a label and just like the girls I like and also stop fake dating dudes cause that's a shitty thing to do.

9
suppressed it because 1. felt ashamed of sexual thoughts about girls/women 2. confused tolerating the idea of being with a dude with wanting to be with them 3. confused wanting dudes to be attracted to me with being attracted to them. wasnt out until way later, but i didnt acknowledge the girl attraction until 13
i already look butch, apparently. never gotten shit irl for not being gay enough, maybe felt like shit for not even wanting to be out. the ~community isnt necessarily easier to get along with than communities in general