I am honestly, honestly, honestly, on the verge of suicide, i

>>7652220
By medication do you mean hormones?
If not you can self med and not socially transition. Estrogen and T blockers will improve your mood.

>>7652228
I take t blockers and estrogen, and i also take Klonopin and sometimes Xanax, i'v been addicted to Xanax and i'v been trying to wing my self off it.

>>7652220
ketamine desu

honestly i just find other shit to keep me going and i take a lot of drugs... there's a lot more to life than just what you feel, and you're not just your physical appearance...

you're working towards relieving dysphoria by transitioning, but obviously you can't change the way you were born... to a certain extent all you can do is accept your situation and continue to move forward anyway

i'm not making light of your situation, not a day goes by that i don't think about suicide and i've tried to hang myself in the past... so i do understand what you feel

but i also have my s/o and other people in my life who i care about, and i care about them more than i do myself that's why i push myself to keep going well past the discomfort... i deal with dysphoria, and chronic (physical) illness every day, and it sucks but it doesn't have to be all consuming... nothing does

aren't there things you want to experience? things you're curious about? want to learn? see? to a certain extent you have to shift your focus and perspective to keep going... there are plenty of instances where your physical self and your feelings are irrelevant at any given moment and you have to learn to value those moments for what they are

suicide is something you can always do, you always have that option... it's just a permanent one, and it's better to try to get as much out of life as possible before you take it

being in incredible amounts of pain doesn't mean there's nothing worth dealing with it for... it's not always a reason to give up

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>>7652318
Omg, thank you, a lovely response, i am so happy to hear someone else here has the same kinda pain i do.

But truthfully i only have my sister and grandparents, i am not very close to my sister and my grandparents are pretty old.. so i kinda look after them a little bit.

But lately i'v been feeling so suicidal about my feelings, i don't talk much about it to other people so i tend to just bottle em' up.
Life has been kinda ruff lately, i know i know i could be some starving African kid who went blind, but i still can't help but feel down about life, view my self as kinda selfish and i hate that i think that way, and i don't really have any hobbies or interest.. I kinda like the Piano, but i don't like it enough to keep me from feeling down.. honestly the thing that would probably cheer me up the most is if i could get a Bf.. i view my self as passable, i think i look cuteish.. but a major major major flaw with me and it causes me to stick out is how tall i am... like 6.3 or 6.2

it sucks so much.


I really don't even know anymore, i would settle for a good friend who understand me... but it's kinda quiet where i live and there isn't many people to talk to, plus i'm semi-broke, i have enough for foods and medication, but not enough for traveling or moving..

I know i know, i'm full of drama, this cloud is feeling pretty thick and heavy, and it doesn't seem to be just passing by.

>>7652355

i'm not going to tell you there are people less fortunate than you... those people are irrelevant to the pain you feel, they're not living your life, you are... pain is relative and subjective to the individual experiencing it, and no one can tell you what you're supposed to feel just cuz other people have different lives than you... comparisons in situations like this don't work cuz they're unrealistic

who and what you have now doesn't reflect who and what you might have in the future... life can be surprising and unexpected to say the least

depression can really fuck with that kinda thing, and i know how painful that can be cuz i've been there... that place where all the things you did for enjoyment stopped helping... in a way though it's an opportunity to try new things and see if anything different catches your interest, for me it was things that i stopped putting my time into that were important to me as a kid... reconnecting with that and finding new things helped a lot

there's girls that height, not that me saying that is gonna make you feel less self conscious right now but it happens...

i'm not judging you for having issues, i'm not gonna call you dramatic for having them... i can't judge you for your pain or needing to reach out... i can't do much for you, but i can give you my time... if you want you can make a throwaway email or something and we can either talk that way or i can give you my number that way and you can text me any time you need to speak

i don't care if you blow my phone up with a million messages cuz you need to vent or send emails the length of novels, i'll always read them and i'll get back to you as soon as possible... it's not the best, but it's all i've got and maybe just being able to talk will help you

>>7652355
>i don't really have any hobbies or interest
Try new activities; force yourself to go to events that you could slightly enjoy. You might be surprised (and meet people there); at worst you waste few hours, but at least you're not in your bedroom anymore.

>>7652382
Thank you so much, your message has honestly made me feel a bit better, and yes i'd love to chat some more with you, i have a skype, and i have an Email.

What's your Skype/Email?


and depending on my mood i might must spam you with a million messages haha

>>7652431

i made this just now to talk to you... i don't post my real shit on here, but once we talk i'll give you actual ways to reach me: [email protected]

i'm glad talking to me has made you feel a little better, hopefully it continues to... i don't have skype anymore cuz it works like shit...

it's really not a problem if you're ever in that mood, i have more free time than most people may as well spend it trying to help someone in a similar position out...