Is it just me or is ghosting much more pervasive in the gay (male)

Majority of us work as secret agents.
It's a painful part of our job, having to leave without a trace, leaving our loved ones in the dark of what truly transpired.
It's simply too dangerous for them to be involved.

>>7463450
This happens to me pretty often too.
t. tranny

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>cute guy from Tinder who's in town visiting from 6 hours away asks me out to show him around town
>surewhynot.tiff, it'll be a good way for me to get a hang of how to date since i've been on like two my whole life and neither went anywhere, plus there'll be no stakes because it'll be a one-time thing so no need to worry
>we hang out, he's really cute and well-adjusted but also smart and down-to-earth and accomplished and driven and why the hell is he even going out with me, wtf
>we have a magical time going out to dinner and walking around the city until like 2AM even though he has to be up at like 6
>he gives me his number and snapchat and says how I should come up to visit him
>think he's just blowing smoke up my ass, but after texting and snapping regularly for weeks i realize he's serious
>omg a boy is actually interested in me, i'm really going to do this
>take off work and take a bus up to visit him for a weekend, have another magical time aside from the times he took me dirt biking and rock climbing where my frail, twink body gave out multiple times
>i'm officially catching feels
>invite him down to see me a few weeks after getting back, he gives me a maybe, but i think nothing of it because things are otherwise going well and he's otherwise acting normal
>ask again a few weeks later to see if he's given it any thought
>he stops messaging me altogether
>never heard from him again
>tfw

pretty sure he found an uglier but more accomplished twink who lives closer to him

>>7463450
What is ghosting

>>7463646
>The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject's maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.

>>7463781
That's not true at all in regards to telling them the reasons being better. Often the reasons would probably be considered an insult to them.
It's better not to say anything at all, nobodies feelings get hurt then.

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>>7464059
If nobody knows you're gay you don't have to be considerate to other dudes you fuck.

>>7464059
Er. Not really. Doing someone the courtesy of at least saying goodbye at least affords a sense of closure. Leaving someone hanging like that leaves them with so much self-doubt as to what might've gone wrong or what they could've done to not even deserve a proper send-off, and at some point they'll probably come up with a million possible reasons that are worse than whatever the actual reason was.

Literally look at any article about ghosting. All of them will tell you how much that shit hurts. Unless you're afraid of what the target might do in the face of outright rejection or the person just refuses to take an explicit rejection and shutting them out entirely is your only other option, ghosting is just cowardly and callous.

>>7464275
There's also the agonizing period of uncertainty that comes before the ultimate acceptance that you've actually been ghosted, and once it happens to you, that sort of paranoia gets carried with you into all your next dating encounters.

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Taste my holy wrath, corrupt souls.

>>7464275
I dunno I do it to guys and I've had it happen to me. I've never thought anything of it, but maybe my self esteem isn't as low as others or something.
If you tell people you're not interested it just begins the interrogation procedure which 99.9% of time ends in extreme butthurt then you have to block their number and whatnot. Just a lot of hassle for nothing.

>>7464567
Have you ever had it happen with a guy you were particularly into, though? I've had it happen with a couple guys I was kind of on the fence about and I didn't really care all that much, but if a guy seems to be genuinely invested in you and you don't feel the same the least you can do is at least try to be genuine back. I get that some people can't take explicit rejection, but more people have an issue with implicit rejection.

Ghosting also shuts the door to even just being friends in the future. I'd have been cool with that with the last guy I was with. I thought we had a great rapport up until he shut me out. Made me feel like whatever made him lose interest must've super bad.

>>7464651
Usually I try not to get extremely invested in someone when going on dates unless I'm like 3-4 dates in.
Between dates 1 to 3 though I often still talk to other people on dating sites and if a guy just disappears, even if I 100% thought it would work and was into them, I wouldn't think much of it. That's just life.

Also if I have sex on like the first or second date then it's kind of whatever. I would barely expect that relationship to end up in anything other than maybe FWBs at best so I wouldn't care if it crashed and burned and I won't put much effort into prolonging it myself either.

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>>7463450

I ghost people because they don't let me break up with them, they scream and key my car and tell everyone they know I have a small dick (I don't) and that I'm a pedophile (I'm not)

It is easier to just disappear and hope that they will move on and forget me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI

>>7465075
Weird. I fantasized about keying a guy's car because he ghosted me. I'd have preferred knowing rather than having had to spend days in denial and uncertainty.

It was especially shitty because he was still talking about the two of us in the future tense in the days leading up to him shutting me out altogether.

>>7463450
>meet with guy
>promise to text him again
>don't

>>7463549
Yup same.
>accidentally trick a lesbian into thinking I have a pussy/was AFAB, thought I made it clear that I was trans
>she got really weird but eventually texted that she was fine with it and wanted to date
>queue we date for 2 months
>she's cool but I'm an autismo with emotional instability
>feel like I start to get better and stabilize in my perceptions of her and reality
>she talks about taking me out for my birthday
>pretty excited
>nothing
>3 days later
>ring her on the phone, goes straight to voice mail
>ring her on friends phone, rings several times
>got blocked and ghosted

Please don't ghost people guys. After our 2nd date she left the car and told me to hit her up if I ever wanted to do *predetermined activity*. I messaged her and asked, she said she would check her schedule after work. Never heard from her since. That was 6 months ago and I can't stop thinking about her lel. I'm temporarily out of country but I'm going to message her when I get back I'm going to send her a message (even though it probably clear she has no interest, I still have an inkling of hope seeing as she left it wide open)

Please give your dude closure :(

>>7466215
>but I'm going to message her when I get back I'm going to send her a message
Oops, sorry about that. Talking about her frustrates me.

>>7466064
I'd say it's not so bad after a single date though it's still a lil shitty

Doing it after multiple dates or after spending a weekend together and making all sorts of intimations that there's a future there is...on another plane

It happens to me, but not with "dating" and my situation may be different.

I usually meet fuck buddies and after about 6-9 months of hooking up they ghost me. I think the reason is that even though I'm specifically looking for a NSA exclusive arrangement, they either develop feels that I can't return or look for more (like dates, overnights, weekends) than I can give. The problem is I'm married and they are usually single.

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>tfw you ghosted someone
>someone you met on a chan
>tfw lurking to see if he posts here

I regret nothing.

>>7466437
why would you do that

>Me
>18 y/o
>Goes on grindr
>Ginger guy which I had my eyes on hits me up
>22 y/o
>"Visiting" on his headline
>We talk a little about wanting to cuddle and he tries to make plans but I just wasn't in the mood so I say that I can't host plus I had no car
>He says its fine
>7 minutes later says that his aunt lend him her truck and that we should go somewhere since he doesn't know the city and would like to chill with me
>fuckitwhynot.jpg
>He picks me up
>He's so polite and we talk about random stuff like he's from San Antonio and that he just graduated college and stuff and I talk about my plans for college
>we go to the movies
>only movie barely starting is about a damn pipeline
>we cuddle a little bit, then after we hold hands
>1 hour into the movie I realize is my first date ever
>omg
>movie was ok I guess, he said "
Well that was gay"
>we got on the truck
>he wants me to give him directions to go home
>I get fucking lost in my own town
>google maps starts fucking with me
>awkward as fuck
>"lol how is it that you don't know how to get places??"
>oh god just fucking end my suffering now
>we go in circles for a little bit and then we finally found the way home
>he drops me home
>I knew it was going to be the last time I see him I just had the instinct from the experience
>says I'm going to miss him
>make him blush and smiles
>he said "hey well you can text me and we can hang again"
>I knew it wasn't going to happen
>says "ok hit me up" anyways as I give him a hug and get out of the truck
>later that night he gets online for like 2 hours
>next morning either he blocks me or delete his account and I don't even have his number or anything plus he didn't ask for any social media
>feelsbadman
>sight
>happened again
>deletes grindr
He lives in my heart now and the memories we shared will stay in there forever

>>7464567
this.

i've done it, and i've had it done to me. some ppl just can't take a hint.

>>7469924
{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

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>>7466437

> >7466422
(you) dropped some bait

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>mfw I drop people constantly
>mfw doing it now
Puts me up to like 4 this year. I don't know why I do it exactly, if I had to guess it just seems finished to me and I don't like forcing things. Also they can't do it to me.

>>7466083
>got blocked
kek
She probably read on Genderciritical that you are a rapist because you own a dick and got scared tbqh.

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>>7472185
kill yourself diabolical bugs bunny

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>>7472239
I'm so curious what you look like rabbit poster can I see? I bet you're cute

>>7472265
definitely cuter and more passable than you, bugs, that's fore sure

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>>7472273
Well let me see (._.)

>>7470014
Why not just be upfront rather than give "hints" that are probably only obvious else only and no one else. You're not fucking playing Guess Who. You're playing another person.

Anyway, currently working on befriending my ghost's roommate on Grindr to see if I can suss even the slightest bit of information from him somehow. I'm fully aware of my hypocrisy and likely insanity but I'm currently too full of my own self-loathing and insecurity to care at this point. I fucking need answers. Having to try to fill in the blanks myself is just unbearable.