What really bothers me about the trans communities I'm part

I’d meant to say ‘a rule that such questions couldn’t be asked’*. Oh well.

>>7363641
>If you don’t want to answer a question, just say so.
The problem is that this can be revealing in itself. Like if you ask whether someone's gay and they refuse to answer, obviously they aren't straight because what straight person would refuse? And even if a straight person would refuse, that just shows they're comfortable with being perceived as gay, where as a gay person refusing reveals discomfort with being gay.

That said, I really don't see how it applies to birth sex. Transition stage, sure, it's sort of the same issue if you ask someone if they're post op etc. but knowing someone's birth sex in a trans group just seems akin to knowing their pronouns - even if you don't ask the former, it can be inferred by the latter, so why make rules about it?

>>7363705
This is in itself a very good point. The only time this doesn’t apply is when someone considers his or her self non-binary. The reason the rules were made is that it is ‘a personal matter’, that it is ‘akin to asking someone what their crotch looks like’, and the ‘it upsets some people’. Emphasis on the ‘some’, though. A large part of the group are fine with being asked such things, whether they’d want to answer it or not. Mainly, the mods are just being hyper-sensitive.

Obviously, in a situation where being out about things might cause some sort of issue, this may be different. However, in a closed online circle, I just think it’s over-protective garbage.

>>7363736
You have a point here but I think the idea is that since most times that people explain their transition to people who don't really understand lgbt or gender issues (the majority of society) the first question they are going to get asked if maab is "so you have a dick right?" or for faab people "so that means you're actually a girl?" I think a lot of people just get tired of this and don't want to deal with it when they can help it.

You are right though I think it would be better if the rule was something like "no asking unless it is relevant"

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>>7363632

well just like in my Viking/fantasy LARPing group, there are certain rules that apply when "in character" that don't apply when we're out of character.

I guess it is trickier if you are "in character" 24/7. Maybe you can establish a time/place aka a 'neutral zone' where you can have free speech. Works for us.

>>7363849
This is what I advocated, with a few people in agreement. Unfortunately, the other mods were being a bit ridiculous about it. There sometimes seems to be no way to convince somebody that not everything is an attack on them in some way.

>>7363912
That seems like a good idea there, Anon. I’ll probably bring that up with the other mods, and see if we can reach some sort of agreement of a time when that could be, or if we could come to a similar arrangement.

>>7363736
>The reason the rules were made is that it is ‘a personal matter’, that it is ‘akin to asking someone what their crotch looks like’

Lol well das bretty cis sexist right there, not all people retain their birth genitals.