Does any mtf feel that you weren't given a chance at life

the game was rigged from the start

that line of skin where your labia fused, just laughing back at you, forever.

Yep. I'm giving transition a try before I do it, but I'm already one year in so now I'm contemplating whether or not to kill myself. Thinking I probably will though

File: 1442373630751.png (2MB, 986x1000px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 986x1000px

>>7215712

Being legitimately trans (strong childhood dysphoria, non-AGP) with a family that does not accept you is the real-life equivalent of Dark Souls.

As a CIS male, please don't kill yourselves. I have and continue to have a phenomenal friendship with a mtf and would be genuinely devastated if she ever killed herself. :(

>>7215797
selfish tbdesu

>>7215785
oo wow a real life transgendered

File: 1464479870886.jpg (54KB, 540x960px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 540x960px

>>7215779
Somewhere deep in the back of my mind, I can't help but feel like suicide is just this inevitable conclusion to my life. Like you said, I want to atleast give this a try first, but with every year I put it off it gets a little harder to reaffirm to motivation to keep going.

I was very effeminate growing up, to the point where I was regularly confused for a girl. Transitioning would've been a breeze, but I just wasn't brave enough to take it. I've never been strong like that; my family was, and is still very poor. I've had to fight for most of what I have, and I'm just, I'm tired of fighting, you know? I just don't want things to hurt anymore.

And now my voice is deep, my hands and feet big, and I've got this disgusting Adam's apple. My chance actively slipped through my fingers and I have no one but myself to blame for my fears and hesitations.

I've already lost the game, but I'm expected to keep playing for what, another 60 years? Yeah, no thanks.

>>7215712
Oh, I wasn't given a chance for lots of things, but being trans specifically is worse than any hell my parents could have condemned me to. I guess in a way it *is* the hell they condemned me to, but trying to prevent transition at every turn is just the hemorrhoid cherry on the shitsicle of life.

How do you people cope day to day?

File: 1476827720608.jpg (93KB, 681x589px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 681x589px

>>7216298

Alcohol, weed and laughter
>I smile to keep from frowning
>I luagh so I don't cry

>>7215888
Do your best senpai.

Voice can be trained. Adams apple can be torn to shreds. Your hands and feet, that sucks, but.. maybe you can reach some state of coping with them. Kind of like if you got a disgusting, horrific growth from exposure to a nuclear core. Pretend you're a tranny super hero. Or something.

>>7215712
yeah i was fucked. the existence of me being shit now is evidence of having been born such that i would end up shit likes this

>>7216298
weed, vidya, and dissociation

File: image.jpg (32KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 640x360px

>>7215712
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBY-9xLGaw8

>you've gone back in time to the night your parents conceived you
>armed with a special drug that isolates and denies the Y chromosome forming in the womb, you secretly drugged your mother with it
>you look at your picture, it's working
>the timeline is being erased, you look as there's no longer a boy in the photo, but a girl. A REAL girl
>as your existence is erased from te timeline you let a single tear flow down your cheek and smile
>it's over

File: image.jpg (23KB, 500x286px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 500x286px

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6ZAQUqSkkA

>Anon feels his chronological form breaking down in the new timeline, he's only a few hours before total non existance occurs
>he goes to his old neighbourhood
>then he sees her
>it's himself, if he was born a girl
>happy, normal, real
>she's shorter, prettier and smaller. But it's you.
>pain overcomes his body as every cell in his body breaks down
>she sees him
>"You all right, mate?"
>Yeah.
>Too much to drink?
>Something like that.
>Maybe it's time you went home.
>Yeah.
>Anyway, Happy New Year.
>And you. What year is this?
>Wow how much have you had? 2005, January the first.
>2005. Tell you what. I bet you're going to have a really great year.
>Yeah? See you.

File: 1353446707724.gif (3MB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 400x225px

>>7215785
What if you're a painfully self-aware mild AGP bisexual MtF?

Not only is my body warped, but my mind is too.

It is fucking maddening.

>>7216298
Drugs. If I don't have those it's like all the anxiety of being on meth without the energy. Imagine the need to grind your teeth and take a long nap at the same time. With intermittent seizures.

>>7216600
>>7216614
ouch

death is the great equalizer

>>7215779
>boohoo i didnt get what i want so ill end my one and only life
really now

>>7216298
Four years of HRT, and p much just disassociating. I used to smoke weed every day and there was a short period where I was abusing alcohol, but I'm sobered up and much happier to be in control of my life.

But yeah, just disassociate. Daydream. It's easy for me because I have a nigh-nonexistent social life, so not many people around to ground me.

Life is shit, but it's easy to cope now that I've transitioned because I genuinely love who I am and how I feel. It'd be nice if I had a pussy so I felt less gross about attending to my sexual needs, but meh. Can't have everything.

File: j043DiP.gif (1MB, 452x269px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 452x269px

>>7215715
And we seem to be beating it, becasue we now have boobs. HEYOOOOOOOO!!!

>>7216600
>>7216614
I think you just inspired me to write a novel, anon. I hope you don't mind!

>>7215712
Yes, mtf here and from an early age I felt like I was unlucky because I was born a boy and maybe in the next life i'll be a girl. I was physically abused in every house I was dropped off too and never really felt love from anyone add this gender dysphoria shit on top of that and I've had a pretty hard life.....I just want it to end now.

>>7216621
>tfw mtf bi 90% leaning towards men with mild agp and I'm diagnosed schizo

check your privilege faggot

File: 1469734421131.png (311KB, 1100x1100px) Image search: [Google]

311KB, 1100x1100px

Yes. I feel like my 20 years of my life, my childhood and adolescence were robbed from me. I feel like a poor imitation of a real woman now that I'm like an overgrown child being forced into adulthood without that female socialization real girls get trains them to be women one day. I feel like I missed out on so much stuff that is normal for women where I grew up. My mother never taught me to sew or play the flute growing up. I never had a date in high school. I never got to go to winter formal dances at school or go to prom because the thought of being in a tuxedo and taking the male, leading role in a waltz made me want to throw up. I never got to have my first period and learn about growing up from my mom. Instead, my dad would yell at me for being feminine and make me learn manly skills like auto mechanics and woodworking the hard way. That is with me doing them without prior instruction and then him yelling at me when I got something wrong. I got beat up in school a lot and nobody, not my parents or teachers did anything. Teachers wouldn't because my bullies were known as good boys who could do no wrong because they went to the local churches and my parents would just tell me to man up. I was on lots of drugs and tried to kill myself twice, but I hid it so I wouldn't get thrown in a loonie bin. My friends as a little kid were are girls because that's who I fit in with, but they left in middle school because boys and girls get clique-y and don't hang out as teenagers. Everybody thought I was a hopeless delinquent because I hung out with the stoners because they were the only people who would be nice to me, but I scored a 3.98 GPA and went to college, unlike 75% of my graduating class. I have a fiancee now, I'm clean and doing well in college, and I'm full time, but I still feel like a huge chunk of me is missing. Now what makes me most sad is that I will never be a mother, since that was my dream as a little kid. Life is hard. I'm sorry for the wall of text.

File: every day.png (941KB, 796x1135px) Image search: [Google]

941KB, 796x1135px

>>7220040
I'm 2 years on HRT and full time. Pretty much stealth. I pass well enough. I have a fiancee who loves me very much, and I would do anything for her. I have good academic standing at my college. I don't have a job yet, but I'm working on that. I have to get my depression under control first. But life is going well. My mom said she'd help out financially when it comes time for me to get surgery. My dad gives me the cold shoulder. I'm very fortunate and I thank God for all of these wonderful things, even though I can't understand why He made me this way and why he lets me exist in such pain. He must have a reason though. I was raised in an environment where all girls dream of one day growing up and marrying their true love and having a baby. Very traditional values in a rural area. That was my dream too, until my parents told me I'd have to be a father. Deep down, marrying my fiancee and somehow being impregnated by her is still my dream. I know it's unrealistic, because I'm trans and she's a cis woman and wouldn't be able to impregnate me anyways, but still. It's my dream that can never come true. I want to get pregnant and get excited with her over that missed period and positive pregnancy test. I want to have morning sickness and feel our baby kicking inside me. I want to sit and hold my belly while my fiancee listens to the noises inside. I want the pain of childbirth, and to hold the newborn in my arms. I want to breastfeed them. I want to wake up late at night to rock them back to sleep and change diapers and watch them grow. I want to walk down streets and hear them call out letters on the signs once they get to that age, and then correct them or say "Yeah, that's an A! Good job!" I want to sing quietly to them and rock them in my arms so they won't cry. I want to raise them with a strong moral compass. I want them to hate me when they're in middle school and watch them graduate high school. I want to cry when they leave. But it will never happen.

>>7220040
>>7220099
This really fucked me up, that's soo sad and hits too close to home :(

>>7220405
I'm so sorry. I just needed to get it all off my chest. I've had a hard life and all I want is to be a mother. I'm sorry.

File: 247630.jpg (66KB, 900x738px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 900x738px

>>7220040
>>7220099

You could adopt. There are so many children who need good parents.

But people who have hard lives often don't make good parents.

Maybe you should focus on being a good parent to yourself for a few years and see how that goes.

Then, when you have cure your depression, start thinking about adopting.

>>7220441
A trans adopting?...that poor, POOR child....

>>7220468
But I could be their mother. I could be a good mother, better than my mother was. I could raise them right and comfort them when they're sad and give them guidance. I think I could be a good mother. That's all I want in life.

>>7220099
AGP

[spoiler]just kidding your feels hit me too hard[/spoiler]

File: CRAWLING.png (130KB, 439x443px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 439x443px

>>7220099
;~;
TFW

>>7215712
none of you are "transgendered," you're fucked in the head.

>>7220040
>>7220099
>only 20 years old
>passes and is stealth
>has a fiancée
>in college
>parents semi accepting paying for your surgery
Oh plz stop crying like you have it sooo bad, my exp growing up with being trans and where I am now with it are like 100 x worse then yours but you don't see me making a 2 paragraph post about it.

You still have the best years of your life ahead of you and you get to be the real you, your luckier then most trans people.

>>7220099
>wants his gf to impregnate him
Why are transbians so agp creepy?

>>7219218
Yeah. I'm pretty miserable, not enjoying life. People do it all the time.I don't really put much importance on it, like it's a shame my life wasn't good, but that's okay, there's nothing inherently wrong with having a shitty life or ending ones shitty life early.

>>7215888
Just do it, senpai. Someone out there believes in you. I have a very similar experience and I know trying before giving up has to be done. You can't give up yet. I can't give up yet either.

You don't have to wait to be at your lowest to start going back up. It feels better once you start. Getting up in the morning is easier.

Just. Do it. Make your dreams come true. Believe in yourself like I believe in you.

File: 2cd08b94b8b9a88ec9b1ff6f03f091b7782be37b96767477fa44d2f9df45a594.jpg (145KB, 504x403px) Image search: [Google]

145KB, 504x403px

>>7220656
Technically, I'm both, senpai.

File: 1367971168543.jpg (161KB, 700x508px) Image search: [Google]

161KB, 700x508px

>tgirl with hypothyroidism causing near-constant depression
Well, if it counts as a chance, it's a hell of a handicapped one.

File: RHHrTCqg.jpg (80KB, 720x960px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 720x960px

>>7220040

>My mother never taught me to sew or play the flute growing up.

AGP confirmed.

File: 214.jpg (33KB, 615x630px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 615x630px

>>7220656

Woah, thanks for that stunning insight doc, I'm cured.

>>7215779
>>7215888
I know these feels. Given myself 'til 30, maybe sooner if my parents somehow end up dying. They're one of the only things preventing me from seriously considering it.

>>7221663
These were things she did for my sisters and refused to do for me when I asked her because I was a boy. Not AGP at all.
>>7220681
>not wanting to be a mother

>>7215755
:'( should have been a vag

File: 8450442797_f2a3003024_b.jpg (126KB, 1024x710px) Image search: [Google]

126KB, 1024x710px

Alright anons, I've got this great idea. One of you should kill me, and then in return, I'll kill you as well so that we can finally stop being pussies about it.

>>7215712

male is an anagram of lame.

>>>/x/

>>7220436
nah it' alright it just hits close to home because I relate to a lot of those feelings myselfr\

File: 211255c4d7b5774f2fcb54488a6f412436c6455b7e9541026d1e0a20a8b06cd4.png (213KB, 680x680px) Image search: [Google]

213KB, 680x680px

>>7220099
Damn... I didn't want to think about pregnancy tonight.

>>7220099
>I want to get pregnant and get excited with her over that missed period and positive pregnancy test. I want to have morning sickness and feel our baby kicking inside me. I want to sit and hold my belly while my fiancee listens to the noises inside. I want the pain of childbirth, and to hold the newborn in my arms...I want to cry when they leave. But it will never happen.
Jesus, anon. I already knew I wanted all these things but damn. Not getting this stuff outta my mind any time soon.