So I recently got involved with this qt3.14, we have been seeing

kill yourself pederast

>>6968101
I'm the one who told you last time that you should shut down any physical relationship because you're putting yourself in a legally precarious situation. The danger is his family, and even if they were cool with it they could change their mind at any moment. Concentrate on improving your own life while he grows more. Did he ever try to get in contact with other gay mormons and get advice from them about coming out, or how best to handle his family?

>>6968109
I know I'm not supposed to feed the trolls, but for whatever it's worth, I would much rather him be my age or older. I'm attracted to him emotionally, not just physically.

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>>6968118
pederast

>>6968113
This is the first time anyone has ever vaguely known who I am on 4chan, which is unsettling haha

No he didn't. He doesn't like the idea. Though he has sort of made head way with coming out completely with his family/church. We have discussed just "being friends" for the next year and a half, but we both hate it to be honest. But we both agree that we would be willing to do it if forced to

>>6968134
The law as it stands already is forcing you. You are in that situation because any other level of being "forced to," involves legal action and the possibility that you could be forced to register as a sex offender. Did he say why he disliked the idea of reaching out to other gay Mormons?

>>6968146
Exactly, honestly anything to do with the church is a hard topic for him. He is obviously in the middle of questioning his spirituality and isn't really at the point where he is willing to take an outside opinion. Hopefully just planting the seed will help though.

As far as the law is concerned, you are right, I am being forced, but he isn't really. Is it fair to ask to cut it off? Or downgrade us to just friends? Or should I just end it for good and walk away? It would kill me to do that....

I agree with anon, it's not worth the risk and it's not fair to either of you. Don't meet in person, your willpower will probably crumble.

>>6968166
>don't meet in person
>we've been dating for a month now
I might be a loser, but I certainly wouldn't date someone for a month via the Internet. My will power has crumbled long ago

>>6968161
Is it fair for him to as YOU to put yourself in legal jeopardy because he's a horny teenager? You guys get along as friends as well as having sexual chemistry, so cutting off physical contact and remaining an emotional support is probably the second best thing you can do. The first best thing you can do is to cut him off completely, but I understand how hard that would be. If cutting off the sexual aspect of your relationship leads to a breakdown of the friendship then maybe he isn't the fantastic guy you thought he was in the first place.

>>6968173
>I might be a loser
well you are sexually attracted to childern so...
> but I certainly wouldn't date someone for a month via the Internet
you mean grooming?

>>6968101
Why? His Mormon parents are probably super in favor of marrying one of their daughters off as young as possible.

>>6968181
What's the point of cutting off the physical part if we still stay friends though? His family won't differentiate between gay friend and boyfriend, especially since we have slept together already... and I couldn't handle being his friend if he got together with another guy.

That all being said, I hate the idea of just leaving him. I've never been this happy, even though my life is shit. I live in a relatively rural area, I don't have a giant dating pool. And of that pool I actually get along with almost none of them.... giving up on this would put me back to my hopeless Foreveralone.jpg mentality that I had been for the last 3 years.... it's pretty hard to willingly go back to that because my state hates gays

>>6968183
If by marrying you mean send him to a gay-away camp, then you are completely right

>>6968188
Sounds like you have bigger problems than this guy then. You said that he was already in college before, right? Does he want to stick around the area after graduating? You might be better off working on getting the hell out of bumfuck nowhere before you worry about this relationship.

You have a point about already being in it deep if his parents find out that you already had sex while he was under age, but if he could pass you off as just a friend then they might not pursue legal action, whereas you made it sound like they would if he were outed as having a boyfriend with whom he's having sex. I mean, strictly speaking, Mormons even consider hetero sex before marriage a mortal sin.

>>6968204
He is taking college classes, yes. But he has no idea what he is doing after high-school yet. And to get out of this particular bum fuck egypt, we would have to move 600 miles or so, and save up a ton of money. Neither are easy to do when both of our families are here and neither of us make a lot of money. Besides that we both actually like this general area for a lot of reasons, just none of those reasons include the abundance of gays.

>>6968204
One thing I have on my side about his family though, they are very vein when it comes to their image at church. I would imagine they don't want everyone to know their son is having sex with men. I know it's not a lot to have hope hanging on, but it's fairly true

>>6968221
>>6968231
The two of you both need to get the fuck out of there. It sounds like the kind of place that doesn't have a lot of gainful employment opportunities. It honestly sounds like you want to keep doing what you're doing, so I don't know why you're even bothering with asking for advice.

Do you expect people to tell you that you're in the right? Because even though I think the legal disparity between hetero and homo consensual sex is stupid I also think you're setting yourself up for a very unsuccessful relationship. There are so many problems right now at the get go and you're only a month in. The drama of the situation is understandably alluring, but it's not conducive to a functional relationship.

And that's not even taking into account that a 16 year old is going to go through a lot of changes when he leaves high school and has the opportunity to move elsewhere and pursue his education.

>>6968313
Hear, hear

>>6968313
I do want to keep doing what we are doing, I'm not going to lie. And yes I do want people to tell me that I'm in the right, but that doesn't mean I don't want to hear your opinions. That's just the way I am. I look for approval until someone can destroy my logic and force a change of thought. And I do appreciate your input, I really do. Even as a random stranger, just showing enough interest in my problems helps me deal with them.

And I know it probably doesn't seem like it, since I'm basically on here to be an attention whore of a sorts, the drama is not appealing to me at all. It's literally the only downside i have with this relationship, but i.can't say I known that's true for him.

So what would you do, knowing all of this. Not what should you do or could you do. And I'm only referring to my relationship with him, not moving and ect. Could you do just friendship? Or would you just go coldown turkey? Or would you let your fantasy of true love guide you into the ground like I've been doing?

>>6968198
Silly Christian logic.
>we can cure gay boys by putting them all in a summer camp with minimal supervision and pretend like they won't buttfuck each other.

>>6968361
The only time I allowed myself to pursue a relationship with big red flags I ended up being emotionally and physically abused and detracted from my own professional goals. He was also younger than me, but only by a couple years and the drama of it definitely appealed to him. There was a lot of makeup breakup bullshit involved and the final time it happened I just let him know that I was cool with it. He continued to try and call me and drum up more drama for 3 months after that until I had to just cut him off, because you can't negotiate with crazy. He left me one last text about how good of a person I am, but even when I read it I knew it was because he wanted to coddle his own feelings and pretend like he was being a mature person and had learned some kind of lesson. I'm positive he's still completely self centered.

Now if I see red flags I pay attention to them. A person who doesn't see how their life might affect your personal goals and development is never going to be a good boyfriend. If I were in your situation I would cut him off for a few months and then try to be friends via phone and the internet to be an emotional support since he probably has nobody else with whom he can talk about his gay problems. I would not date him. I would try to support him as he grows as a person. I would also encourage him to contact other gay Mormons because they're probably the only ones who can sympathize with his situation and they probably want to help, but that's a very personal matter and if he's in the middle of discarding his faith then that's his own business.

That is my honest advice. You're heading into a minefield of drama. He's gotta take that drama and save it for his mama. Unfortunately that's not something most 16 year olds can do. Hell, the aforementioned 26 year old I was dating last year couldn't do it.

>>6968101
you're a pedophile. there is literally no way this can end well. you need to cut off all contact as quickly as possible and work on moving on and distancing yourself from the entire situation in general before it ruins your life.

>>6968419
That seems like a pretty fair assessment. Thank man, I really do appreciate it. I honestly will probably take it worse than he will.... but I will talk to him tomorrow about it. I might not cut him off for months.... but I will try and back it down to strictly friends.... the worst part of it for me will be the lack of emotional support on my end... none of my friends know about this, so I won't have anyone to fall back on. But I guess it is what it is. Depression has to be better than prison

>>6968466
Once again, I know I shouldn't fees the trolls. But I'm really not a pedo. His age is a downside, not a perk. And you wouldn't know he wasn't 19 by looking at him, so get off your moral high horse.

>>6968361
This is the problem with your logic: instead of starting with the question "should I do this" you are letting your emotions lead your decisions. You start with the answer "yes i should do this because i want to" and then justify it after the fact. Yes I believe you have real feelings for this kid, and yes i believe you want to have his best interests in mind. But you are ignoring one glaring fact: more than anything you want to be involved with this kid. That's the primary reason you're in his life. And I think maybe you're so socially stunted that you think this is your best, perhaps only chance at a bf.

I don't think you posted here because you wanted honest opinions. I think you wanted to validate the part of you that wants this. Unfortunately, we only agree with the part of you that has doubts. Until you come to terms with the fact that the best course of action leaves you alone (for a temporary time until you find someone appropriate, if you put in the effort), you'll keep justifying emotional decisions with logic after the fact.

>>6968101
i dated a 25 year old when i was 14 and it didn't go THAT horribly
i'm not going to come right out and support this, you're right to have doubts, but there are worse mistakes to make

>>6968481
>he's 14 years old
>i'm not a pedo i swear

>>6968313
>The two of you both need to get the fuck out of there. It sounds like the kind of place that doesn't have a lot of gainful employment opportunities

As someone who has lived in the hood before, I can say that there is precisely the rub.

>>6968466
The kid's too old for him to be a pedophile. Not that that validates what he's doing especially that it's illegal and his parent's could kill him if they found out what he was doing.

>>6968661
>>6968581
I'd like to remind you 2 that it's literally only illegal because we are both guys, if he were a girl I would be in the clear, I thought of all places /lgbt/ would have sympathy for me on that account.

>>6968512
I feel like everything you said here is probably right. I am definitely emotionally stunted.... and I don't want to go back to being alone. But I don't see him as the only option, I see him as the only person in my entire life that I have ever been able to be 100% honest with and still have him like me. And the same goes with him.... I guess I'm a picky person, and he has been the only guy that I actually enjoy being around for long periods of time.

You are probably going to take that as me justifying what I want after the fact and maybe you are right. But these emotions aren't easily tossed aside for me. I am not a person who easily gets attached, so when it does happen, it's something special to me. I guess that's why I'm here, to try and get the courage to break it off with him..... because I know it's the smart thing to do, but everything in me tells me that it's a mistake to do so

Does anything change in my situation when he is a 17 year old college student? I mean as far as the law is concerned it doesnt.... but socially.

>>6969469
Just from a lot of the language you're using to describe yourself and the situation I'd say you have some pretty major self esteem issues. On that basis alone I'd say you should avoid this relationship. There's a legal danger from the family, there's a danger from the guy depending on whether or not he's emotonally mature(something you cannot determine until you have a big disagreement or fight), and there's a REALLY big danger that you will ignore your own needs in order to maintain this relationship.

You're already coming to the Internet for advice. It's been a month. You know who else needs to come to the Internet for advice? People who are being cheated on/cheating; people who are being lied to; people who are dealing with problem family members. I'm gonna tell you what all those people are told to do. Shut it down. Stop putting this guy on a pedestal and start lifting yourself up instead.

>>6969589
You are definitely right, I do have major self esteem issues.... which makes it all that much worse to let go of a guy you are falling in love with.... you are also right, I can't tell how truly mature he is till something major happens. Thank you for your advice.... it has given me something to think about.... I just have no clue how to "lift myself up". Because this is the first time I have ever felt this good about myself.... and obviously there are some issues involved with it

Wtf there are places where the consent law changes based on gender? What kind of homophobic shit is this?

>>6969997
Most states have a disparity. The UK made news about 10 years ago when they made the ages for both homo and hetero sex consent ages 16.

>>6968101
You sick nigger fuck, you are the reason people hate the lgbt community. Kill yourself and take everyone who's giving helpful advice along with you. Praise kek.

Mormon boyfriend? That's an achievement.

I live in Utah where there's tons of Mormons, and while I inherently disagree with the age gap. I'm just going to say that you should run as far away from that shit as possible, they will find out and you will go to prison lol. No matter what you think of him, the chances are very high that he is going to tell them, so save your ass now

>>6969997
It's actually based on hetero or homosexuality, not gender. Which seems even crazier to me.

>>6970095
Funny thing is, this isn't even my first one of those....

>>6970187

Ya to be honest mormans can be crazy, not going to lie.

>>6969985
For whatever it's worth to you, your advice is why I just distanced myself with him. I just told him we need to slow this down and wait.... and I'm not sure how well this is going to go. This is the first time I've cried in at least 5 years.... if not longer. But I'm trying to tell myself (and him) that it'll be worth it. But I want him to have a normal life.... I'm OK with myself being a lonely beta loser, so I couldn't ask him to wait for me.

>>6969589
Sorry I meant to tag you for>>6970376
Not myself

>16
>24

What the fuck are you doing?

>>6970376
I'm glad that you're seeing the sense in breaking up with him. I know it's hard, but you'll be glad you put the breaks on. If he really feels the same way about you then he'll be willing to wait for you. In the meantime you need to position yourself better whether that's through taking college classes yourself or finding some other way of retraining so that you can get work in an area that has more job opportunities and maybe even more of a gay community. There are options out there for you. Maybe try going to your local library to get information on some of your options?

>>6970449
Idk if anyone cares about an update on this, but I just need a place to vent. We are over with now and I can't help but feel like I just made the biggest mistake of my life. I've broken up and been broke up with before, but it's never been this bad. I want to believe I'm doing the right thing, but it's so hard to do. I had plans to hang out with him today, and I'm sure it would have been amazing like it always was. But instead I chose to make both of us miserable because of a homophobic law and society (and you guys) telling me how fucked up i am. Idk what to do now, even though I was single a month ago, for more than 3 years, I've never felt more lonely than what I do right now. I'm sure it will be a passing pain, but it doesn't change the fact that this all would be avoided had I just not said anything. I am not ever going to commit suicide, but I have certainly thought a lot about it today. I wish I could go see a mental health specialist or something, but I lack anyway to do that. So I'm just stuck here crying. But hey.... at least I'm not a pedo now right? Even though we were both happy.... life fucking sucks

>>6972575
get back with him
i'm the one who had the underage relationship when i was underage
it is clear that dating him would be less bad of a mistake than what you just did

>>6972715
I have been thinking about that for the last hour now... is that even fair after playing with his heart like this? And I mean I'm pretty much sure that we will get caught in one way or another.... idk if it's worth it. But maybe it is, maybe this my trial for love.... idk what to think. I am way too emotional right now, and I'm not an emotional person. So idk how to handle myself

>>6969985
>Because this is the first time I have ever felt this good about myself
you can build on this you know

>>6970376
>I'm OK with myself being a lonely beta loser
don't lie

>>6972575
>I can't help but feel like I just made the biggest mistake of my life
>I've never felt more lonely than what I do right now
Of course it feels that way. You hurt.This is normal.

>But instead I chose to make both of us miserable because of a homophobic law and society (and you guys) telling me how fucked up i am.
Fuck man you are really depressed. That isn't what we said.

>>6972715
lol ignore him, he doesn't know what he's talking about

>>6972765
look anon. this needs to be your priority: you need to take care of yourself. are you in therapy? on medication? because i think you need it. your self esteem is crippled and you need help to make yourself great without any other bf crutch. you can and should work on bettering yourself.

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>>6968101
>recently got involved with qt
nice
>2 problems
lemme hear em
>he is 16 and I'm 24
stop.

This isn't going to work unless your mental age is 16 as well. He's a child. How can you even want to be around him, I fucking hate teenagers.

>>6973076
No I wish I were in therapy, but I am far too broke to afford it. Let alone medication. And I know in this thread no one has really said that I'm fucked up (seriously) but it's definitely been said. What you don't understand is I have been trying to better myself. Gym 5 days a week. Been trying to get an electrician apprenticeship. But neither have been fruitfull. Idk how to have a normal social life. I'm not completely anti social, but I'm close. I have some friends, but we are all losers. My family life is just about as shitty( ironically my 54 year old mom is dating a 24 year old). This guy was the best thing that had happened to me in years. Not to say I was this depressed before... but I feel like I would have been better off to never have met him.... that way I wouldn't know what I'm missing out on

>>6973131
He was home schooled till this year, not your average teenager, which is why he is a 16 year old taking college classes and going to be a 17 year old sophomore in college. But idk, it's possible I have a 16 year olds mentality romantically due to having a totally fucked dating life

>>6973201
Being academically accomplished isn't the same as being experienced. I'd rather hang out with a college educated person too, but I've learned that I should lower my expectations. But I guess I'm just super judgy.

>>6973237
I agree with you in theory... I dislike most people. Teenagers included.... but this has been completely different than anyone I've ever met. As cliche as that is

>>6968188
>What's the point of cutting off the physical part if we still stay friends though?
Not going to prison

>>6973350
But we have already had sex. The crime is already committed, if we stayed together and just didn't fuck, his parents could still have me arrested for what we've already done

>>6973201
you don't have health insurance? you aren't signed up for some obamacare policy? you can also call around and find out what resources are available to those who can't afford it.

it's good you are already helping yourself, but you're still immersed in negative thought patterns. you are beating yourself down before you even give yourself a chance.

>>6973460
>>6973460
Not only do I not have health insurance, but I'm debt from when I did have insurance. I hardly have rent money, let alone money to go to therapy. I know I am messed up, but I don't even know where to start. Idk how I could expect another person to like me, I don't like me. So I feel like I just found a needle in a hay stack, then was told he was not the right needle for me.... it's hard to accept. I want to thank you though anon, a random stranger showing interest in my problems means more than you know

>>6973360
But his parents don't know that you've fucked idiot.

>>6973570
What do you think I'm worried about? Them walking in on us whIle at my house? Obviously they don't know, but if they find out we have fucked, that's the problem. Doesn't really matter if it was earlier that day or a month ago.

>>6968101
Go trans and then he's at the age of consent