how can u not vomit and feel bad when thinking about transitioning?

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>>6918038
I long learned to swallow this vomit and love it's sweet taste, even if sometimes it's salty and bitter

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>>6918038
You always got me bae

>>6918038
Just gonna add this. Still OP.
I dont think im very passable. Im very tall.
But girls say im REALLY cut/hot, so maybe some of my features will be good for me.
But i dont really know.. i kinda have a big nose. And im really hairy....
Soon im getting help from a therapist or an expert in psychology.
My parents arent really supportive of the trans idea, but they are supportive though, like, they want the best for me, they really do. They are just transphobic i guess, and very traditional.
Im 23 years old, soon 24 :(
Thanks for being here /lgbt/

>>6918049
How? :) It just comes with time? I guess i must be strong
>>6918054
haha u are cute :) thanks <3

>>6918055
You prob wont be pretty, but maybe you will find someone that likes you, also going trans if you are worried about looks is a dumb choice.

>>6918038
I'm sorry I can't really give you any useful advice but I want to express my support. Realizing that you must act to improve your situation and having the courage to do so is commendable. Trying alone is worthy of respect. Please be well. I believe in you.

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>>6918049
Ah yes!, the good ol' "smug fati"

>>6918055
Do you think you could pass for a plain woman after some work? Not everyone can be beautiful but most can look decent.

>>6918096
Tbh i believe so. But we are talking with that FFS operation thing (i dont know much about it) but ive heard it can make your face look more like a woman.
One thing i have to add too tho.. Is.. I have very bad curly hair. I cant grow it out large, its just gonna be a mess.
So im either going for the short-haired-african look or try out wigs..Yes i am half african. But i dont live in Africa, i live in Northern Europe. I know its not gonna look so nice.. But its my only options desu. And i believe in it.

>>6918084
Thank you for your support, It helps, It always does. Keep supporting /lgbt/ people around you. Especially trans people. You are making a difference for them.

>>6918131
>Tbh i believe so
Good to hear! Looks like you have no excuse not to transition then.

>I have very bad curly hair
Well, there are cis women with the same sort of hair. See how they handle it.

>>6918178
Yes i will try my best to see how they handle it. I just hate wasting time and energi on looks lol (i know being trans is all about that lol..)
But having curly hair as a girl can really be hard. You have to brush it thru everyday and make sure it doesnt tangle and stuff like that. Having short hair feels like a blessing from god :) Takes 30seconds to clean max and it just feels nice :)
But yeah i wanna try and transition.. atleast thats whats my heart is wanting right now. I wanna try it out. Before i get older.
Im just afraid. Of losing friends and relations, job opportunities and carrier choices. I hate the way society is limiting trans people of everything. But i will now suicide. I have been loved too much in this world, even by cis people to ever want to comit suicide. Life is too beautiful.
Thanks for your replies :)

>>6918221
Losing friends is something that shouldn't happen unless you were really bad at choosing friends. It was actually my friends that carried me through my transition, they were so supportive. Here I am a year and three months in, and I can tell you that starting was nerve-wracking for real. I literally made myself sick with worry regularly . . . but it all gets better if you keep your spirits up and keep going with a positive attitude.

It was weird for people, but the amount of support I've gotten from casual acquaintances far outweighs the few bizarre and the many awkward encounters I've faced. I can't even tell you the number of hugs I got from complete strangers in the first month of transition, and I made so many friends since then, but I work in a really public job where I was well-known before so it was pretty hard.

I'm not sure if I am pretty, but I am becoming more popular at least, and I did end up with a boyfriend along the way.

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>>6918284
Wow. You really touched me there. What a lovely story. Congratulations with your boyfriend! Love is so important. The touch of another being. All those hugs sounds so nice aswell. And the fact that the positive outweighs the negative really has me going right now.
I will do my best to keep my spirit high and have a positive mindset.
I think u are right about friends. I might not loose them, they are probably gonna be supportive and its gonna be so fun to live as a girl by their side. Wow im excited.

Whats the best way to get started transition?
I guess i could check out some other threads for that, i just couldnt help asking :D But advice is apreciated.
Whats the first steps usually?
I have people to talk to. Im getting professional help soon.

>>6918326
I guess the best I can recommend is to start by taking your best friends and having one-on-one heart-to-hearts with them. I recommend going slow and try to build a support network for helping you transition, because there will definitely be days you don't feel like you can do anything but you need to do things anyways so you need somewhere to fall back on. Just try not to make it super awkward for people and everything will be cool.

I started by contacting the nearest Informed Consent clinic, which is in Boston, and setting up an appointment. There was a month waiting time for the appointment, so I went and filed for a legal name change at the local probate court, and I decided at that point that if I can't even bring myself to start wearing feminine clothing publicly at that point that I might as well give up there, and so that was the point where I just started incorporating stuff like skirts, skinny jeans, racer-back tops, dresses and various other things into my wardrobe.

I had a major cleansing of the things I had literally no interest in wearing, and went to Savers with my friends and just starting shopping for comfy daily clothes. Nothing cringey or super-fem, just some nice day-to-day stuff like shorts and tops and stuff. But yeah, once I was out, I was OUT.

>>6918417
Thank you
Very inspiring. The whole one to one heart to heart conversation thing with friends sounds like the way to do it. People need to understand, and not be freaked out.
I guess when your out your out. Point of No Return. Im just scared of that..
Im scared that things will escalate and i cant control whats going on with me and people around me.
But i know that u are not supposed to be controlling everything around you. And i also know that sometimes the best thing to do is just dive right in, instead of waiting around like a frustrated chicken.
Im gonna try to stay positive. Look for some clothes too. Its cold where i live so im gonna need a feminime jacket of some sort.

>>6918580
Well, I can't promise you'll ever have control of it, and you really shouldn't try that hard at it. The best I've come up with is being friendly and get enough people to like me that being mean to me makes for a ton of backlash from people that aren't even me.

Oh yeah, just to warn you, people will insult your friends even more than you for transitioning. I found that out and that is the part that hurt the most. Almost all of the disparagement was never to my face, people are so cowardly.

>>6918698
I can understand that. I already feel sorry for my friends and family. Why do we transgenders even exist? Why did God create us. Maybe we have a purpose, like Jesus or Neo. But i dont know, might be nonsense.
But yeah ill try my best to protect the ones i love, and inform them.

>>6918842
Yeah it is weird. I think the part that people don't really get is that we don't want it to be weird either. I would just love for everything to be cool and normal and carry on now that I've basically fixed everything, but that just isn't how it happens. I'm still waiting to see if it reaches any real state of normalcy without moving far away and starting over, but I actually really like it here and people are generally cool even with the awkwardness.

>>6918038
>but now i have this fear if i transition no one will ever want me the same way as before

They won't.

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>>6921370
Exactly, i like how me and the girls flirt and share chemistry nowadays(me as a male). I mean, i can just see how much they want to kiss me and stuff, and it turns me on, im a lesbian btw.
If i transition it wont be the same at all. No girl wants to be dominated by a tranny. Atleast thats what my brain is telling me.

But i have come to the realization, that, transitioning is probably a must, but it must be done carefully.
What i mean by carefully is that u have to tell and make people relax and think of u as cool and gentle. Nobody wants an angry pissed off depressed tranny friend, nobody. So my message is this: Seek therapy if u are sad, and do you damn best to be happy at all times and enjoy your life, life is too beautiful not too.
When ur friends and strangers see how happy u are, nobody is gonna care if u are a tranny :) (unless they have some internal problems themselves.. but that goes for everyone, if u arent happy, and u see someone happy, u will probably become sad, cause ur not happy, like them. )
Peeeaaaaceeee and thanks /lgbt/

>>6921392
Op again, just adding this.

I said the only way forward is positivity. That goes for everyone. Im not saying its easy to be trans, its not, not for me atleast.
We are the 1%. We are alone, and we have felt that way our whole lives. But that also makes us speciel. People like us cause we are that way. Hope this makes sense..

>>6921392
>Atleast thats what my brain is telling me.

Your brain is right. There are few enough women out there willing to date other women in the long-term. An even fewer number of them would be willing to date a tranny.

You already enjoy all the female attention you could want as a male. Either decide to suck it up and deal with the feels or resign yourself to a life forever alone.

>>6921392
>What i mean by carefully is that u have to tell and make people relax and think of u as cool and gentle. Nobody wants an angry pissed off depressed tranny friend, nobody.

how about you stop thinking about what other people want, and start thinking and living the way you want?

only betas define themselves and judge their worth through the perspective of other people, or their real or perceived standing in their social circle.

>>6921669
but i am a beta though...

>>6921718
^ this is not OP, im OP. But the dude is right tho. I guess im Beta. Ive never thought about it that much desu.

>>6921669
Very inspiring. U are spot on on every word. But how do i change myself to be more.. alpha?

Thanks for the attention u give me. Thank you . Thank you all.

>>6921740
OP again. (do i have to say that everytime?)
I dont know what i want in life.. Im just, passing by, trying to do my best.
I dont know what to say either..
But this conversation is interesting

Okay i can see now. I probably made u all confused about whos OP and whos not. Who cares tho. Sorry.

>>6921747
Lol everything is gonna escalate now, just warning u all.

>>6921743
tbqh it doesn't matter if you're op or not
an op only begins the thread, he doesn't own it

>>6921861
true
im still the one and only OP tho

>>6918038
For most trans people it usually boils down to transition vs. suicide. Choosing between two bed options is never easy. If you feel you have a third option, then choose it anytime over transition or suicide. (And if you have the option, then always choose transition over suicide!)

A real trans woman would "vomit and feel bad" every time she looks into a mirror.

Yes. Girls won't look at you. You will lose your friends. Your family. Your job. Your house. Your credit rating. Your savings.

You will lose everything, and will have to rebuild from zero, working below minimum wage 12 hours every night at a McJob, while being called a fake tranny. Stand up from it as a woman. Get passable, get a real job, and a female ID with your real name. Rebuild your credit rating and your savings account, and dream of Thailand (or Bowers, or the goddess-tier SRS doctor of your choice), and walk triumpantly into the operating theater when the time comes.

This is what transition is.

Until that time, enjoy your male body. I'm not ironizing, seriously. I envy you, because you could enjoy your malehood.

>>6921895
You are saying something very interesting there mate.

I might be so lucky that i have a third option. I have this idea that i could dress as a male queer guy or something weird in betweenish. But i guess it also has a lot of problems with it.

I just dont know, transition or not, its up to me. I might do it, i might not, i might do something in between (like, 1 week woman, 3 days as a male, and vice versa)

I would like to hear your honest opinions on that. Let me know if i should explain myself further.

Thank you!

>>6921903
Just adding this.
I think everyone deserves a third choice.

But our society doesnt allows us that, atleast thats what i have learned.

Every god damn trans person is put an ulimatum to their face. Either you continue being who you always been, or you change EVERYTHING about the way you present yourself to other people. This is pretty scary. Not alot of people can deal with this. And a lot of people dont have to (cis). Thats why i believe trans people are some of the strongest if not the strongest type of people on Earth. The more pain u receive the stronger u become. Its that simple. But i know its hard guys i know, me myself cant always keep the positive thinking up and running. Its not that easy.

But im really trying my damn best. Life is mine, and its great. Nobody can take that away from me. No one.

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>>6918038
>i identify as a translesbian
jesus christ this is so out of hand now, ugh

you know cis chicks don't dig trannies so it just seems creepy and disingenuous as fuck and kinda sounds like you are transitioning just to perv on cis girls

>>6922020
so u want me to do?

>>6922075
I dunno, stop making sex with women your identity. Focus on your life and your transition if need be but its just full cringe to be pre transition and calling yourself a fucking lesbian I mean oh my god just listen to you people.

>>6922020
kinda ironic this comes from a dude who transitioned just to be a submissive housewife

>>6922088
Hmm i guess u have a valid point mate.
But if im into girls, and girls are into me, we cant have sex?
Its a bit unclear for me. I like the sex i have with women. But i must admit that it could be better. So u are not completely wrong.
But please, speak ur mind.

>>6922020
not gonna lie, as a chaser that's hard too not see.

>>6922114
wut? I actually think im asexual because I have no sex drive and I don't give a fuck if I ever date anyone. I never actually dated anyone in my life. I let a chaser fuck me at an airport Marriott but that was it.

>>6922117
I just think like transition first and then see if women are into it, you can't go around calling yourself a "lesbian" without the proper equipment and hormones.

>>6922020
Please be nice.

>>6922161
not being mean, ask a real lesbian what they think of dating a tranny and their response always ends in either vomiting or full on rage. I personally think if you wanna be "trans les" then date another mtf. Honestly cis women in general are garbage cunts who think only they are entitled to being a girl and I don't get why anyone would want to be around those pig dogs.

>>6922149
>"you can't go around calling yourself a "lesbian" without the proper equipment and hormones."
i understand.
but the tension between me and women is pretty big still. and that is as me as a male. i have never tried dating a woman as female.
hope this isnt too confusing

>>6922178
Yeah thats my understanding aswell. I just have this belief, that it could actually be possible. If you get to know the girl first, be very open about everything, then maybe some chemistry could happen. I believe.

I girl freaking kissed me on the chin last night. We just bonded like that. In the train. We are strangers to each other. I felt very attracted to her the whole time, and i came to believe that she wanted me to ask her i could come and sleep with her. It was late.

>>6922180
>i have never tried dating a woman as female
and sadly you never will, no mtf will. Being mtf is like being a decimal approximation, we will never be all the way female, even if some get to the 99% they will never cross over to 100% female. That being said, lesbians don't like trannies, ask them yourself. Though on the ultra super mega rare occasion you can pass 99.99% and are post op, then maybe a dyke might date you, but I dunno because they are twisted fucks.

>>6922178

Second this.

the only way cis lesbians take any interest in you is if they're secretly bi and don't want to lose gold star status.

And in that case they'll treat you exactly like a cis guy.

>>6922208
ding ding ding
we have a winner!

>>6922178
So incredibly bitter.

Just go to tumblr. There's plenty of women there who have to see you as a woman in order to fit in.

>>6922149
you are so autistic it hurts

>>6922020
And you are just a chaser who took his dickgirl fetish too far, Eliot.

>>6922229
not bitter, just call it as I see it. Most normal cis women in the real world that's not online will just mock and laugh at a tranny so yeah fuck them. At least to a man all I have to do polish his pole and he will walk across a bed of hot coals for me.

>>6922229

believe me, even there, they only say they do.

You can't stake your entire sexuality on outliers anyway.

Hahahahaha
Everybody shitting on other people now.
But its okay.
Keep going.
U will probably realize the other truth sooner or later.
Wait what?
Nvm

And the silence kicks in

>>6922236
You might be trying to pull women who are way above your level. Go for more ugly ones.

And honestly? No most women will not mock and laugh. You're being overly emotional. I'm saying this in the middle of an anxious depressive episode. Geez. There's one area where you're more traditionally feminine than a born woman. You're less rational than a woman who can't stop crying and pushing away their family.

>>6922290
lol i don't try to get with girls, i'm into guys

>>6921903
Problem is that - unless you are extremely lucky with your genetics - transition has an upper age limit. So, there might be a time, when transition will not be an option for you.

The in between option is workable, depending on how tolerant the society you live in is. I know some crossdressers, for whom the ability to switch between sexes would be priceless. However, sadly, it's not a not an option in the real world. The closest thing is: remain male (maybe get on cypro if you don't mind ED & losing your fertility), and present female for a period when you feel like it. It's probably not OK in your job, and you will lose most of your friends and family. As a woman, you will be less desirable to other women.

But you will only need a shower to present male.

Also, have you tried some options to make yourself more feminine? Like having your ears pierced, growing your hair out, having your brows plucked, etc? These will help you present more feminine, and will still let you pass as male.

>>6922293
Then what the hell would you know about women? What is wrong with your brain?

Oh
>trip fag

It all snaps into place

>>6921903
It all depends on how attractive you are. I hate to say it, but it's true. If you're very attractive you can likely pull off anything you want.

The androgynous look is good. Aim for that.

>>6922178
I only hope this is not right, or that I'll get a crazy good SRS.

> be me
> be 1,5 years on HRT
> spend all afternoon in salon
> acquire nice dress
> make the most perfect tuck
> GOTO lesbian bar
> I get carded, but ID says female. (Everyone got carded btw.)
> no one clocks me
> success.jpg
> a girl is into me, spend half the night with her
> she's obviously high and/or drunk
> she wants me to have sex with her
> I tell her I'm pre-op
> ...
> I'm not allowed anywhere near that bar again
> Still worth it. How can girls be so gentle...

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>>6922359
>I'm not allowed anywhere near that bar again

>>6922355
This is what ive been looking for the whole time.
I know its hard to accept. But being attractive in this world is one of the biggest priviliges one can ever imagine. Its that simple.
>"The androgynous look is good"
I have been thinking alot about this andro look. I might be able to pull it off.
I live in Denmark, one of the most liberal minded countries in the world (sorry if i sound.. overpriviliged)
But its nice here, and i seen many trans people around lately, and crossdressers, and even people i cant label.
Thanks for you comment.
I have a lot to think about.
But thats why im here, to hear everyones opinion. And maybe spread some good ideas about the whole trans thing.
I honestly believe, that the trans community is very repressed, and being limited, to few options, created by, someone.
WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS. WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT
Peace.
Move to Denmark everybody.
We recently got trans people free of the mental illness idea. I mean, its now illegal to say a trans person is mentally ill.
So the law is actually beginning now to be on our side. This is good.
I hope the whole fucking world becomes as nice as my country. (sorry if i make u jelly or mad or anything, i understand) (or maybe i dont, but i dont care)

>>6922328
Very interesting.
i havent done any feminime to my look. Im very male-ish.
But plucking eyebrows could help i think, but i cant really grow out my hair cause its too curly and frizzy. I actually prefer short hair.
I have big sexy lips and sexy eyes, but a big nose :(
Maybe some surgery could do the job. But i dunno
The androgynous look is tempting for me. It really is. I think i can pull it off. For the sake of my future.

>>6922364
> Q3 2018
> Q3 2018
> Q3 2018
> Q3 2018

(SRS date)
I only need to be patient.

Me again
There are a lot of negativity (haters) out there that simple want me to make the decision between suicide or transition.
Im not that kind of person. I make my own options. U should do too.
Fuck haters, but they can have their opinion and its fine. I dont worry about them :)

>>6922410
You have just my hair. It was hell when it got into shoulder length, I had to iron it every 2 days. Now it's below my shoulder blades, and it is straight, because it's weight pulls it down.

> Hair strainghtening iron is magic
> Lesbian hair is short and works magic.

There are a lot of great and feminine short woman's hairstyles.

A nose job is a routine and cheap (as far as plastic surgery goes) surgery.

>>6922431
Cooool :) i would like to get surgery, but i dont want surgery, if people can see that i have had a surgery. For me then its pointless. It has to be stealth. Dunno if our technology is good enough for that.
Im glad you and your hair worked something out.
Peace and Enjoy :)

But as far as i can see.
There are still options, ways, shortcuts.
cant explain further but they are there.
And i want every trans person to not suicide but think about life and the options u have.
But i know.. that.. im priviliged.. i cant imagine how it must be to be a trans person from a low income country (poor) ..

>>6922414
>2018
>having to wait that long for srs
I just got my referral and probably get it in Spring 2017

>>6922554
Long queue is long. However, I got my referral in 01/2015. That's how you get affordable but still relatively good SRS.

>>6922455
MtF surgery can be 100% stealth. It's usually not the vagina, it's your appearance, or voice which clocks you. However great SRS is extremely expensive.

>>6922586
I heard that the voice surgery can go very wrong. Is that true? like damage ur voice forever
thanks for ur post tho

>>6922616
Yes, it can mute you, or you can get out of it way worse than you get in. Voice surgery is usually a last-case solution if nothing else worked (training @ home, or going to a specialist for voice training).

Surgeries tend to have a chance to turn out horribly wrong. Going to the right surgeon and living healthy minimizes the risk.

>>6922616
voice surgery is the biggest meme
generally it only removes your lower range, if it turns out okay that is
without voice training you will still sound like a high pitched voiced dude

>>6922662
>>6922655
Good to know. Well. Im going for the voice training option :) Im a hard trainer, i try to meet my goals and stuff like dat okay now i sound like a lazy bum but im honest guys. If i have to do it i will do it. But i will not have some other fucktard fuck up my voice 4 life. Dats for sure.

>>6922871
And pleeease, try to sound FEMALE. Most MtFs I know mess this up, and simply sound gay.

>>6922662
My voice therapist said it'll help reduce stress when hitting higher notes

What scares me tho is dysphoria, and the effects and consequenses it has. But maybe its not that bad.
I would just like to know more about it, scientifically.

>>6921895
You absolutely do NOT have to lose everything. I didn't have any of my friends back out from me, in fact they all supported me immensely. My family was frankly just surprised it took me so long to decide to transition. My job not only had no problem with it, they basically greatly facilitated it by immediately switching my healthcare over to my new name and all my work-related documents with no fuss at all. I was able to socially transition there right away. My landlord had no trouble either, he just wants the money. My credit is fine so far, and my savings have barely been touched. I did end up spending more than I used to, but didn't go in the red even with needing a new wardrobe and getting laser treatments.

I just want you to realize that loss isn't your only option. If your friends desert you, they weren't really your friends anyways. Can't help with family, that is a grab-bag. I do recommend having a good job first, preferably one with corporate protections and a functional HR network. Get yourself a plan before you jump in for the plunge and you will swim much easier.

>>6923161
Congratulations! You are one in a million.
> Friends
Poster was a very obvious case, and a great candidate for transition. Her friends were close friends, so they could see behind the thin facade.

> Job
Obviously, living in a progressive state helps a lot. Also does working for a large, multi-national company who knows that xPhobia is very bad press. Unfortunately, I had to live at an opressive homophobic hellhole.

> Housing
For me, it wasn't the landlord, it was the community. I simply got tired at having the cops called at me every other night (over obviously fake noise complaints) simply because they can't tolerate another person.

> Credit and savings
My credit rating was shit to start with, thanks to student loans, so I could only go up from there. However I had to nuke my savings account just to get started, since my insurace didn't cover any of the treatments to get started. (Bloodwork, endo, psych...)

>>6922924
is it worth potentially risking your entire voice just for that though?
i wouldn't do it, rather have a fag voice

>>6923275
I just felt it was unfair to state that people will lose everything when it is extremely situational. That should definitely not be the typical result.

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Don't transition: You will get to have a family, get to experience raising a child, will always be able to fit into society, won't have to grow more and more lonely as you get older. Cons, you will never get to be feminine at all, any gf or wife will drop you like a hot rock the second you put on a dress. You'll be relegated to slipping on a skirt and a wig for an hour every other weekend when your wife takes the kids to swim meet, and live in fear that she never finds out, and probably going bald and being a hairy man beast so you look silly when you dress up anyway.

Transition: You will basically guarantee that you'll never have children or a real family. There will be a wall between you and everyone else because you make everyone uncomfortable. Almost assured to be alone forever except for the occasional pervert that wants to fuck you (and nothing else). Also spend all your money for years, on risky surgical procedures. But you can grow out your hair shave your legs and wear skirts and prance around. Alone. Okay you may be able to get an omega male chaser to live with.

>>6924423
I always prepare them for the worst. What I described is just slightly better than the worst, as I have heard of several years long unemployment, homelessness, sex work (and associated risks, such as drugs, HIV, problems with the law).

Results do widely vary, depending on where you live.

>>6922403
yoikes, wouldn't want to live in a thoughtcrime state

>>6924461
Fuck you.

>>6925926
what the hell do u mean?

>>6927579
>its now illegal to say a trans person is mentally ill.
that is insanity

>>6918038
I avoid mirrors and play lots of video games

>>6924461
Yeah fuck you shit aint that bad. All of that can be made up for if only we can find one person who loves us as we are.

>>6930181
there might exist such a person in the 7 billion, but the chances that person will be within a couple decades of my age and will ever be within 100 miles of me are basically nil