/ftmg/ - female to male general

>someone starts whistling in the night
>Join
>Suddenly tons of whistling and hollering along
>Whistling back and fourth a rammstien song with someone towards the end

Not even a college place but this is probably the most entertaining thing ive participated in awhile.

>>6914009

my s/o was whistling once out the window of a hotel room in paris we spent a couple of nights in and someone joined him... it was his sister though... she was on the other side of the hotel in another room... they stuck to classical

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>Be pre-T
>Best friend is the only person that knows I'm trans
>Usually refers to me with he/him unless we're around people we know
>Go with her to the county fair
>In line to get tickets for the ferris wheel
>When we get them some random dude walks up to her asking if she would want to get on the ferries wheel with her
>Responds with "Uh no, I'm getting on with him" and points to me
>Dude yells "That's a boy!?" and goes back to his group of friends
>Feel like shit for the rest of the night

I later ate some really fucking good pizza and had fun goofing off with her like an idiot so tonight wasn't all bad.

>>6916137
Well that happens when you're pre T, it's pretty much impossible to pass without hormones. Just get on T as fast as you can and that'll fix itself right up.

I just had an eleven hour shift, and I go back in nine hours for a fourteen hour shift.

I had an assignment due five minutes ago (5am) and only got home twenty minutes ago. I sent my professor a long, rambling email asking for an extension he won't give me (this assignment was already extended from 9:30am this morning until now) and an apology for something he doesn't give two shits about.

I haven't slept in over 24 hours.

I'm in aerospace engineering, and I'm 100% not qualified. I have no idea how I got through two years of college with a 3.0+ and I'm just. I'm not smart enough for this. Maybe if I didn't have to work I could make it, but I have to eat and bills have to get paid. I don't get enough sleep and I never have enough time to keep up with homework, let alone have any time for myself.

I want to fucking die.

I'm sorry this is rambling, I'm so tired and kind of drunk. I just needed to vent.

>>6916137

at least it was a good night otherwise... letting that kinda shit get to you is pointless though... but if it makes you feel any better i've known guys who have straight up looked like chicks when they were young, actually my s/o accidentally called one "she" the first time we met... it was funny cuz the guy freaked out and my s/o was just telling him "well you look and sound like a girl, i didn't know"... turns out he's gay and a crossdresser now, but what i mean is it's not at all indicative of whether or not you'll end up passing after t

>>6916213

maybe you should consider changing majors... pursuing something else you're interested in... there's no reason you can't pick this up again later, but it sounds like you need a break right now... if it's overwhelming you, and you don't feel confident about it, continuing to pursue it means you're likely pushing yourself towards something that might not work for you...

what kind of job are you doing now?

>>6916352

+ it's not like you gotta do everything for it all right now, or like you've wasted your time learning shit... but exploring other shit can be good too, you might find something that feels right... stressing yourself out like this isn't gonna help you anyway... and having a chance to clear your head and figure out what you want might be good for you...

at any rate, it doesn't sound like you're too stupid for it... it sounds like you're stressed and just feel that way, and like your job is making it really hard for you to put yourself into it... you are working a lot

>>6916169
I've noticed that company makes a huge difference. If you're with guys you're most likely to be gendered as male but with girls you're seen as a girl. That's just my experience tho.

>looking for a job
>the only one I can find in my area that I'm qualified for and that isn't literal dishwasher-tier is working at Gamestop

Ugh. I'll have to look again at a later date.

>>6916137

I'm also pre-T and something weird happened yesterday.

>walking outside
>just wearing a plaid shirt and baseball cap
>have facial hair due to high levels of natural T
>hear in the distance two 80 year old women way "...boy" "No, I think that's a girl"

I hope I didn't hear them right.

>>6916169

I have seen this youtuber who came out in high school. Got top surgery but is non-hormone. Despite having long hair he just looks like a late teens, early twenties guy. I envy his natural androgyny.

>mfw the last time I was referred to as a girl was 4 1/2 years ago right before I came out
>mfw my face is almost perfectly symmetrical
>mfw I am pre-t and look like a male
am I a 1 in a hundred here or is the place I grew up in just really "progressive"?

> went to a party last night with a qt
> as friends
> female friends
Jfmsu

>closeted
>visiting doctor for PCOS symptoms
>doctor wants me to get laser to deal with my heavy body hair

Ugh. I bet some girls don't mind or even like body hair.

>>6916569

eh once you're a girl's friend it's easy to be more than that... idk whenever i've spent a fair amount of time with a girl it always ends up heading in that direction... seems like it's easy as hell cuz i've never actually done anything to get it to that point, they just always end up telling me they have feelings or wanna fuck... which somehow always makes me at least mildly interested even if i wasn't before that

I've been on a diet for a month. I decreased my breakfast by half to under 250 calories. I thought I would have lost weight but between spring and the beginning of autumn I put on almost ten pounds. I don't get what's up. I don't even eat much, only breakfast and dinner.

>>6916569

I wish I had female friends. The internet makes it seem like all girls love anime and video games but irl I can't find any. I just want a buddy ti cuddle with, hold hands with, go out to places with, and be the auntie/uncle of my future children.

>>6916623

what's a typical breakfast? what's a typical dinner? do you eat snacks between? what are you drinking?

>>6916640
im female if you count mtfs

>>6916645

+ i'm not understanding why you gaining 10lbs prior to your diet matters since you've only been dieting a month + are you working out? building muscle means you won't see a difference on the scale like that...

i'm the same size now, a little smaller but not much than i was before i got sick... but i weighed more than cuz i was working out and had more muscle and shit... so if you're judging by that, don't...

>>6916657

, but not much, that i was when before i got sick* my bad...

i'm a little high and really tired + bad day anyway... i'd kill a baby for some opiates, i can't wait to get out of this town so i can have easier access

>>6916645

>Cereal or oatmeal.
>Depends. Usually rice and some meat.
>I don't think so. Maybe some more cereal or fruit if I'm hungry.
>Juice or water.

I don't exercise though. Tbqh, I have a hard time getting out of my house. I don't think it's depression but there's nothing particularly interesting outside when you have no friends or money.

>>6916671

so carbs and starch + meat? no vegetables or fruit? are you paying attention to the serving sizes? do you drink a lot of juice? are you eating in a way that makes up for you not really being active?

have you lost weight at all in this past month?

the other shit is a matter of perspective i guess... i like taking walks, and i don't need other people or money to enjoy being outside there's shit to look at and whatnot...

it's not really like you have to do anything in order to enjoy being outside + a little sun will raise your vitamin d and make you feel better... helps depression and might raise your activity level you don't have to feel like doing something to do it

idk... i never have the energy to really do shit, i just make myself do things cuz i know i need to... like i'm in tons of pain today and feel like just laying in bed and dying, but i'm cleaning and i did laundry and i walked my s/o to work earlier and shit... idk... forcing yourself to do shit is beneficial, and makes it easier to continue pushing yourself after a bit

and in a case where there's no health issues (though you're likely in desperate need of vitamins and nutrients if that's how you eat and it could be affecting your health) you might even start enjoying it and not need to push yourself anymore once you're used to it... do something long enough and it becomes normal

>>6916743

+ eating healthier will also help your mood and make shit easier...

I need binder recs. I need good fucking binder recs. I need a binder that won't stick out and look like a fucking block, but most importantly I need a binder that has an actual flattening effect and not the effect of a fucking doubled-sports bras. I was extremely disappointed by gc2b last year (think I posted photos here on ftmg but can't find them anymore).
Bonus points if it lasts about another year.

I'm so desperate that at this point I might as well kms and ace bandage or duct tape or something, no binder has done me justice except my first one (lesloveboat, I think) but back then I had smaller tits and I don't wanna order it again because it might not be good for me now.

>>6916808
>I had smaller tits
is that weight gain or are you Not Underage I Swear Just Having A Really Late Puberty And Certainly Not 14? if it's the latter and you can't get transition access, eat lots of mushrooms and drink lots of green tea. they're mild aromatase inhibitors. and don't consume mint, it has an antiandrogenic effect.
lesloveboat is really good, and you should be able to get away with a larger size
what about underworks?
also, i should note that while idk much about the practicality of the ace bandage method aside from the whole 'suffocate to death' bit, tape does not work trust me on this

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/ftmg/, is Leafy a stealth FTM? I don't see a non-intersex cis guy still looking 14 at 21.

>>6916932
he only looks 14 because of the lighting in most pics hes seen in
hes got shit skin and a frumpy jaw
subscribes to all physical traits of a beta numale

>>6916829
Was drinking gallons of green tea and eating the leaves starting in 6th grade the cause of my deep voice, wide jaw, wide shoulders, ease in muscle gain, and luscious thick hair all over?

Curse you for this androgyny, tasty tea troll!

My binder doesn't seem to actually bind. I'm fat and a D cup but I have seen other fat, large chested people who look flat when they bind. It's totally bogus.

>>6916932
i don't know, but i weirdly do know a lot of youngish/teenage trans guys who are really big fans of his for some reason.

>looking for a job
>you need to apply online

Ugh. I hate that. I like applying on paper instead. I don't know, I'm paranoid about using the internet for this sort of stuff. I wouldn't be surprised if I turn out schizophrenic in a few years.

>>6917456

I never heard of this guy until I was listening to music a few weeks ago and all the recent comments were "Leafy has good taste in music" and "Who came here from Leafy?"

>>6916213
don't beat yourself up so much. it sounds like you'd have at least gotten it done if you didn't have to work, and if you managed decent grades for two years before, then it must really be something outside your control. it's completely understandable to not be able to keep up with one of the most difficult majors out there while also holding a job. i can barely get schoolwork done sometimes, when all i do in my free time is sit in front of the computer.

>>6917466
i make way too many typos to apply for jobs on paper. the last one i turned in was practically covered in pen scratches, and i kept running out of room in those tiny boxes, not to mention my handwriting is bad enough as it is.

although with all the sensitive information they ask you for, it is a pretty understandable thing to be paranoid about.

>>6916640
I have two female friends like that. Met one on the internet and then met her sister. Ended up getting a crush on the sister and getting rejected, not recommended. Also they clocked me right away, although I made them believe I'm cis for a while with my behavior, but then it turned out we had an old mutual acquintance so I ended up being outed. World sure is small when it comes to geeks and weebs

>>6916606

Don't say things like this out loud, anon, or some jelly Nice Guy turned MGTOW is gonna murder you in your sleep.

>>6916998
>and eating the leaves
Dude wat

>>6918502

i was saying that more like... i figure if i have an easy time with women then anyone can... idk, i'm nothing special and it's never been hard, so i figure they're just easy

to me it seems like most guys who can't get laid are ones who miss obvious shit... and i get that cuz i do too, but idk... girls always eventually get really forward

What do you guys wear when you want to be sexy? There's gotta be dude lingerie right?

>>6918906

i don't really give clothes any thought... i just wear whatever my s/o picks out for me or his old clothes cuz that's easier and alternate between boxers and pants depending on where i am... like if i'm just in the driveway or some shit i don't necessarily bother with pants if i'm having a cigarette or something... and i don't bother with boxers if i'm wearing pants cuz layers are annoying ... so i just don't really give a shit about clothes... they don't really make me feel one way or another

>>6916169
>impossible to pass without hormones
I passed before I even knew I was trans.

Why are all of you smokers and drinkers? Do you think it makes you look manlier?

>>6918906
fishnet boxers

>>6918906
thong made out of boxer-like material

>>6919505
we're all insanely depressed

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Started going to the gym in attempt to build some muscle, put on some weight, and maybe chase away some depression through physical activity. (Pic isn't me but is literally my current physique) Do any of you other guys go to the gym?

>>6919692
>plenty of chub guys have man boobs
why not post yourself in a sports bra?

Advice for numbing any emotion I have left? I'd much rather feel emotionally numb again than suicidal.

>>6916169
>tfw most of my friends are/look like giant lesbos with dyed hair, piercings, are overweight
>constantly get clocked as afab when I'm with them
>Like I barely ever bind when I go to school, wear old womans-cut clothes I've had since highschool because I'm cheap af, and I still pass as male 100%,
>When I'm out with them I bind, I wear my new styling (mens) clothes, and ALWAYS get clocked

>>6919692
Yes, although I'm pretty dyel. My routine until about a month ago was just doing different variations of curls on the cable machine. I just realized a few weeks ago I need to work legs more and then 2/3 of my gym's leg press's broke, and now it's impossible to use the only working one without waiting around for it for half an hour, so I haven't bothered. RIP my leg muscles.

>>6919704
? What
No, I don't have boobs. I've never even owned a bra. I just don't voluntarily post pics of myself on this site.

>>6919819
no one is going to give you feedback if you post pic of cis male

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any advice?

> be me (24)
> lesbo tomboy fag until find out transitioning isn't just for mtfs
> IT ALL MAKES SENSE
> had been mad dysphoric but had no words
> change pronouns
> feelsgoodman.jpg
> change name
> same
> on hrt 1y
> fixes a lot of dysphoria issues but creates other ones, namely turning me into a warwelf
> start self harming, cause acne, cut acne out, rinse lather repeat
> hate how rough my skin is
> hate facial hair, nightmares of going bald
> hate how i look
> end up being shit tier poor, can't afford hrt
> dysphora 2 electric boogaloo
> now dysphoric because of fat/titties/being read as girl/etc
> hate how i look
> eventually get suicidal enough to go back on t
> still fat
> face rough as fuck
> warwelf as fuck
> titty as fuck

I feel like I can't fucking win and everything I do fucks me over some different way. Any hope? Should I order the helium?

>>6919904
Go to therapist

>>6919904
Can you present as male without going on t? It sounds like t made you more dysphoric physically then you are normally.

>>6919917
Been there, done that. She was a crank and I live in Appalachia so I don't have a lot of options.

>>6919923
Not really. I don't really pass either way because I've been on T like, two years. I got harassed out of my last two jobs for being a ObviousTrans.

I've always been dysphoric physically though, like since elementary school. I only went on hrt (both times) because it made me suicidal not doing so. I just hate having to pick which things to be dysphoric about and I know if I go to get electro I'll get laughed out of the room.

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>>6919904
that sucks anon and i hope you can find some kind of respite from your pain
are you fears of balding grounded in reality? i'm 2 months on t and obsessively checking my hair for signs of thinning because i'm an anxious piece of shit. if you have a realistic fear of balding, take finasteride along with your t, it's a dht blocker and will cut down on some of the facial and body hair alongside increasing head hair. you can get it on prescription for hair loss
also, lose weight. calories in calories out, if all else fails just take adderall (in the name of reason i would like to point out that taking stims for weight loss is a Bad Idea, but that doesn't stop me from trying to do it anyway). fat is endocrinological tissue and is fucking with your body and particularly your moods.
wash your face more
and i don't have a recommendation for not being titty as fuck because i can relate to being shit tier poor. man it sucks that this is happening to you. but there are ways to win battles and maybe some day the war

>>6919923
you'll experience hormonal dysphoria and inconsistently at best pass, it isn't worth it
t improves things greatly for the majority of ftms

Is it normal to want HRT but not top surg? I'm fine with them and just feel the need to bind when I go out.

>>6919854
I wasn't asking for feedback on anything that relates to my body, thanks. The only question I had was if any other guys go as well, which wasn't any prompt for "what should I do there" but just a "share your own experiences".

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>>6919988

Not sure, anon. My brother and dad both balded and I'm just terrified of being ugly.
I ""recovered""(ish) from EDNOS when I realized I was trans and started hrt, and for the first go round my weight just melted off, but after I worked retail i ganed 35lb because i couldn't go a single day without getting asked about my genitals or something.

my metabolism is all fucked up bc of restriction, but I should start running again... got a lot of friends that push prills so i could probably cull some of the unwanted. i'll look into finasteride too q_q

shrugs & thanks for hugs

My hair is very thick and no men from either sides of my family has balding issues, both of my grandfathers have a lot of hair, I won't have to worry about my hairline right?

>>6920378
Hopefully not but it could happen to anyone. Just keep an eye on it

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i really want to take SARMs but i dont know which ones or where to go or what any are called. I want to take testosterone without facial hair, that my only setback. i dont want any stubble or darker hairs on my face i just want male fat distribution, weight lose, muscle gain and then get some binders or something but i really don't want facial hair. also in my opinion the trans info "guide" isnt helpful at al
>goes to link
>clicks on T
>its questions with the word testosterone in them and not info about where to get it or what puberty blockers to take it with
>what even are puberty blockers
>are there other names or artificial t?
>the packer tag isnt about resources but personal pictures

i really suggest a pastebin or a less anecdotal tumblr for young aspiring trannies in need

>>6920852
there are no real resources out there for ftms because everyone hates ftms and does not aspire to help us :^)
as a pretty early transitioner i have a decent amount of experience with puberty blockers though -- you don't take them with t, though i am currently just because i'm one of the first people in my state/country who took blockers and they don't have much experience with transitioning someone from blockers to hormones
t itself is enough to override the effects of estrogen
however if you're taking SARMs rather than testosterone itself you might want to add an aromatase inhibitor, i mentioned earlier that mushrooms and green tea are natural aromatase inhibitors and should be able to help you out here
t itself is 'artificial', it's identical to that produced in the testes of cis men and the kidneys of everyone but just synthesized, there are a few different esters of t (that is, versions combined with inert oils to make it more injectable) but if you were prescribed injectable t or sourced it yourself from steroid websites you would almost certainly take testosterone cypionate unless you had a medical contraindication (it contains peanut oil)
given your discussion of puberty blockers and your lack of access to binders and fear of facial hair, i'm assuming you're Totally Not Underage?

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>>6920894
im 20 years old, got big ol honkers(im ready to drop money on good binders and packers) and im ready to learn. I brought up puberty blockers becasue it was sort of a "buzzword" thrown around and dating by dating an mtf i know that they go through a "second puberty" and have to take "anti-androgens" to cancel out the extra test and i didnt know if ftms had to do that but with estrogen or what
so aromaste inhibitors. is there a pill form of this so i can make a happy cocktail of meds or do i have to inject T myself? male pattern baldness doesnt run in my family idk if im still at risk of baldness and my acne has always been bad.
i really appreciate all of the info. i wouldn't mind trying to make a paste bin but i myself don't know a lot about transitioning at all.

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>>6920940
you could source pill-form aromatase inhibitors from the same sites that sell sarms and t, though they'd be much harder to find. there are various kinds of pharmaceutical aromatase inhibitors, some of which have permanent effects even after you stop taking them. without t (and possibly with sarms, nobody knows shit about sarms desu), blockers of any kind -- whether lupron (puberty blockers) or aromatase inhibitors -- will simulate menopause, lupron to a much greater degree than inhibitors. i went through induced menopause at 15 due to lupron and am concerned at 18 now that it may have had long-term health effects.
my concern with sarms and even inhibitors regarding your fear of increased facial hair is that body and facial hair is sort of an inherent aspect of testosterone. raising it will increase your body/facial hair, there's no workaround for this. a lot of ftms (particularly ones who are young and have just come out, and particularly particularly ones who are, for lack of a better term, 'aap trans men' -- though i'm not exactly a blanchard fanboy) are really terrified of increased hair because it doesn't fit their aesthetic, but the solution to that isn't just...trying to avoid inherent aspects of transition. figure out how to incorporate your new happy trail into your aesthetic. or manscape. or get laser. (glad i have pale skin and dark hair so i can get laser if i ever have less social anxiety)
not having mpb in your family should reduce your risk, but keep in mind even if you're at risk there are treatments. you can get minoxidil to regrow the hair, finasteride to block dht (which would also reduce body and facial hair, but as a downside it'll also reduce libido and clitoral/'dick' growth), hair transplants if all else fails. the treatments these days are pretty good really
acne is definitely a concern and tends to be worse for ftms than the general population, but i've found fears of it can be overstated
(continued in next post)

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>>6920986
i had bad acne during female puberty and take after my dad who had cystic acne in adolescence, but on t (admittedly only on it for a few months so far) i'm actually noticing less than i did the first time around and i could probably do something about that with ordinary lifestyle treatments (wash face more, keep hands away, don't eat junk). a lot of trans men have kind of shitty lifestyles in my observation from being in the community since 2012, so for some extreme acne can be chalked up to factors other than testosterone. and similar to how i don't see sarms making you not have body hair, i don't see them making you not have acne either.
for good binders, lesloveboat and gc2b are both consistently well reviewed. the latter is better for large breasts. for good packers, you can find yourself dropping a hell of a lot of money on hyperrealistic prosthetics (currently looking for rich andromimetophile to buy me a reelmagik dick) if you want to. if you'd like to drop a slightly less ridiculous but still honestly ridiculous amount of money, peecock products have been around for years and have a packer you can use for everyday packing, peeing, and sex, and it comes with a device that can actually help you feel during sex and masturbation in a similar way to how a cis guy does. i've heard good things about it
what are you considering for your transition past 'binders, packers, some method of increasing testosterone'? what surgeries, if any, are you picturing in your future? what do you want to look like and where do you want to be in your life when you're 'done'?

>>6919505

why would unisex hobbies make anyone manlier? plenty of women do both...

i drink cuz i enjoy being drunk and i smoke weed cuz i enjoy being high, and cigarettes cuz i enjoy smoking... other drugs occasionally for the similar (should be obvious) reasons... if something feels good and enjoyed widely by members of both sexes then it should be pretty obvious the reason people do it isn't gender based...

>>6921074

-the ... should be "for similar obvious reasons" my bad, i was gonna write something else...

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>>6921025
i suppose unfortunately i will be an "aap" transman which is ok because my dysphoria only goes as far as much i look and how im regarded socially. my genitals dont bother me so much. im a strong advocate of "gender being a meme" and not giving a shit but i've decided that maybe taking something will make me happier about myself.
sinces theres nothin around facial hair should i stick to minimal t inducing things like sarms and inhibitors?
also in my goal pics i couldn't really find anyone with my face shape but you get the idea. top surgery, maybe laser for the hair. i want to really slim down and get toned. im 5 feet tall so i know any extra weight will go to my boobs becasue thats just how my body works u_u also im on birth control which is making things go in the opposite direction i want them to.
sorry for late reply it took me a time to find pics

What does AAP mean? I keep seeing it in discussions related to FTMs.

>>6921150
autoandrophile, like the idea of crossing dressing as a man turns you on so you do it

>>6921144
shit you're cute
you look kind of tumblr but you're cute

yeah, when i started up at like 13 i believed gender was a meme and claimed to be some tumblrgender shit but soon as i got out of that community it died quickly, especially when i started actually living as male (first online then off) and discovered a lot of my preconceptions were wrong
though i was extremely dysphoric even when i was in that community

if i was making a specific transition plan for you with your stated goals, it would look something like this:
1. natural aromatase inhibitors alone for a while
2. SARMs at a somewhat higher dosage than usually used in bodybuilding to promote virilization, still paired with aromatase inhibitors
3. top surgery, 'mansculpting' liposuction surgery to remove feminine fat deposits (which tragically tend to be persistent even on full doses of t, especially for postpubertal transitioners)
4. switching from sarms/inhibitors to low-dose t, half or less of a normal dose
5. optional: 'facial masculinization surgery' if you find yourself dysphoric about your fundamental facial shape
the fifth part of that is particularly interesting to me because FMS is very rare and often considered unnecessary because ftms on t tend to pass well in the current social context, but from my viewpoint that's only because of extremely little ftm visibility -- post-pubertal transitioners in particular have distinctly trans facial features to me that t doesn't really override, and i suspect as ftm visibility increases passing will get harder
it went like that for mtfs, after all
plus the angular features that a lot of ftms desire don't really come with a feminine facial structure

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>>6921171
thank you so much for the advise ^u^ i'm gonna screencap it and save it but i really appreciate i. I dont know if i'll drop money on FMS i sort of like my face but only time will tell.

>>6921171
>the fifth part of that is particularly interesting to me because FMS is very rare and often considered unnecessary because ftms on t tend to pass well in the current social context, but from my viewpoint that's only because of extremely little ftm visibility -- post-pubertal transitioners in particular have distinctly trans facial features to me that t doesn't really override, and i suspect as ftm visibility increases passing will get harder
This is true, yeah. The little ftm visibility is a blessing to us, because people just assume we're feminine men - since cis men who look like ftms do exist, they're just very rare (or underage). I know 27 years old cis guy who looks ftm as fuck lol
Honestly, people who knew ftms before always clock me from pics alone. Even they apparently get doubtful when meeting me irl though, behavior and voice really does the trick.

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>all this talk about going bald

Is it weird that the prospect is kinda exciting to me? Might just be because it'd justify a skullet.
But desu, I've never seen the big deal about baldness. I guess if you're inappropriately young, or you can't lean into it for whatever reason.

>>6921641
i like my hair, it's important to me and i don't want to lose it
a factor here is probably that i'm partially faceblind and distinguish people moreso based on hair and clothing than facial features, which means hair also plays a larger role in if i consider someone attractive and baldness inherently goes into the 'ugly' category
i'm not bad looking and it would suck to become so
given my age of transition balding in the near future is unlikely, but it happens even to young ftms and my genetics are somewhat risky so it's a high concern

>>6919505

I suppose much of this gen is depressed. I personally refuse to drink or smoke. I only use alcohol for cooking.

>>6919692

Gyms cost money so no.

>>6919988
Is there any way to convince my current doctor to prescribe me finasteride? I was on it with a previous doctor and to make a long story short, he lost his medical license shortly after I started T with a side of finasteride. When I switched to new doctor, she continued prescribing T but refused to let me continue finasteride, stating, it would "negatively impact or block" my transition. However, when I took a blood test when starting T under her watch, she stated my T levels were too high, despite I was taking .35ml (of testosterone cypionate 200mg/mL) every week and lowered my T dose to .2ml instead....like, wouldn't THAT actually block my transition? Anyway, my hair has always been fine and thin, and I am sure I was balding before I ever went on T despite being a pretty young guy... Now my hair is even thinner and it's even more obvious I'm losing it. I just want to resume my prescription, not buy the stuff illegally online.

>>6921755
well, your doctor is right -- blocking dht will obstruct your transition
do you know your actual blood test numbers? you really should and it's the only way you can realistically make decisions about t dosage
as a stopgap measure, start minoxidil, it stimulates hair follicles without blocking dht or any of its products

also i feel like there is a very interesting story in 'he lost his medical license'

>>6919505
I'm vegan, never smoked, I find alcohol disgusting, might drink half a glass of wine if I'm having dinner with wine-chugging grandparents but that's it. But I'm not in a bad place mentally or anything, so I don't need escape routes. I find enjoyment in other shit that doesn't harm me.

>>6921806

what does being vegan have to do with smoking or drinking? i'm vegan... i'm also smoking a spliff right now...

>>6921817

+ weed and tobacco are vegan, so are most alcoholic drinks, guiness beer is the one exception i can think of off the top of my head...

>>6921817
Mentioned cause it was adding to the fact I'm kind of anal for all things regarding health\fitness\strict habits. Not because it automatically excludes drinking and smoking.

Can someone please explain to me the phenomenon of young pre-op guys wearing full blown make up/dresses/other overtly girly shit for fun? I'm not talking about staying in the closet, but willingly dressing in a feminine way after starting transition?
>inb4 transtrender
Yeah, but I want to understand the why someone would do that after going through all the shit that comes with suffering (supposedly) dysphoria based depression, introducing yourself with male pronouns, and coming out to your family only to do something that could get you misgendered so easily.
Since tumblr is a rat race for who can be the most socially subversive, I can imagine some wanting to be that guy that breaks gender norms by wearing femm things with their masculine features. And yet, that would only work if you took t and ended up passing.

>>6921829

alright then...

>>6921842
A A P
A
P
serious answer: it's a feedback loop. 'boys can wear dresses' becomes 'trans boys can wear dresses' becomes 'trans boys should wear dresses' because of the way tumblr culture works, it worships femininity over masculinity and thinks trans men are disgusting unless they act exactly like trenders
good luck telling the tumblrgenders who are trenders apart from the ones who are actually trans, though all of them are going through a phase

>>6921842

some people like dresses... idk... i never really thought about what goes on in their heads, cuz i don't care all that much... it's not the dresses, it's their logic and the things they tend to say that make me uninterested...

but idk... being trans and putting that shit on doesn't make them anything else ... so if they feel comfortable i don't give a shit

and most of them are just... really fucking gay, like probably never once even kinda looked at a chick... so i mean... it sorta makes sense really... i've had so many gay guy friends who were that gay and would've acted the same if given a chick body... they were like that anyway... idk... when i think about it, it's pretty normal... i just usually hate listening to their social and political beliefs is more the thing...

>>6921641
I'm a metalhead, so my hair are staying with me all the way. If it will happen any time soon then shit, I'll take it. It's nothing unusual after all.

>>6921857
>>6921852

+ also yeah some aren't trans, they're just figuring themselves out... it's a phase, and actually being trans makes it hard to understand i think...

i know that's why i have a hard time paying attention to them, cuz to me none of this experience or dysphoria is what they describe...

but usually they only want to hear themselves speak, and to hear everything echoed back at them... cuz they're not ready to be done with their phase...

i figure it's better to just leave people like that alone to sort themselves out...

>>6921842
They're not really trans. They're just as bad as Chris-chan and all the other agp fetishists. They want to become the people they want to fuck.

And since effeminate crossdressing gay boys are popular among anime-loving young women, you guessed it.

>>6921948
agp/aap is not mutually exclusive with sex discordance and they're more often than not hand in hand
funny how this board takes their interpretation of blanchard at face value but has never even glanced at his work
but yeah, even when the people who do this aren't trenders they're almost universally aap -- non-aap ftms who do that tend to be autistic or otherwise unaware of the social context they're being pushed into

>>6921842

Some guys are just feminine. What's wrong with a guy wearing a dress?

>>6919505
Not really, it's just enjoyable. You get a husky voice too.

>>6921641
A lot of cis guys are freaking out about balding. Really. I know a few personally, like guys in their twenties who are insecure they're already balding. Not even starting on middle-aged guys. Yu can see ads on TV about anti-balding/hair-growth stuff, hair transplants are also becoming more of a thing.
>tfw even if I take T I won't get bald anytime soon because all the guys in my family didn't, even as they got old

>>6919505
Nah, it probably makes me look more like a teenager. I just enjoy it. Why do people who don't drink/smoke think everybody else is doing it for appearances? I don't tell people who don't drink or smoke they do it to appear more mature or something... even though they tend to give off a "I don't need alcohol to have fun, I'm not a kid like you guys" vibe

>felt ill yesterday so I took some cough medicine
>made me zone out
>10+ hours later
>it's breakfast
>I still feel drugged

Either that crap's strong or I am a half-pint.

>>6916743

I live at home so I eat what my parents make. If I lived on my own I'd probably be a vegan and eating far differently. I just eat a small breakfast and a normal sized dinner so I imagine it can't be that much in terms of serving sizes. Just a cup of juice when I eat so no.

>>6922010

i've always found it odd when people think that too, that people do something they enjoy for appearances... it's an odd thing to assume...

>>6922019

i can't imagine wanting to be vegan, i am cuz i developed a bunch of food allergies, but if given the choice i would've stayed vegetarian...

as for the other shit there's not much nutritional value in any of that though is what i'm saying... and idk... i'm trying to imagine how old you must be cuz my parents didn't cook for me past 13 really...

and what's a "cup" to you? like you literally take the 1 cup serving or do you mean like 1 full whatever size glass you're drinking out of... cuz there's a huge difference

>>6922116

+ not to be an asshole or anything, i've just known a lot of overweight people who define cup as one of whatever they're drinking out of and don't know shit about portion sizes... like you know piling a bunch of food onto a plate and considering it one serving

>>6921755
Also trying to get finasteride over here to stop my hairline receding, but my doctors are incredibly slow when it comes to appointments, plus it isn't something they would usually prescribe to "females" even though I've been on T for two and a half years, and worried about MPB too. The useless GIC I'm on the wait-list for is even less helpful, they told me to get it from my doctor.

>>6921788
>blocking dht will obstruct your transition
Finasteride only blocks the DHT which in regular men is only about 5% of all of their T.
If you're a trans man who's already been on T long enough to experience masculinization to the point where now you're actually considering MPB and excess body hair, your transition being somehow "obstructed" is a silly notion.
I'm already as hairy as I'm ever going to want to be and even using Minoxidil for my hairline, although for under/around a month at this point with little to no difference. Plus, you have to take it indefinitely. Sure you'll have to take Finasteride indefinitely too, but that should negate your need to use Minox. to some extent if not at all once it's grown back after continued use. MtF do mention how their hairlines recover a bit once they get on HRT, and I doubt they even use Minox.

Another point I wanted to bring up since it's been a theme the past few threads: I wonder if MPB is inevitable for trans men with PCOS?
Considering even male relatives to those with PCOS can show some of the symptoms.

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Is it better to shave that peach fuzz off, or leave it? Is it going to get darker? (I'm on T)

>>6922154
mpb can happen in early transition (only a few months on t), and anon's wording implied he's in that category
dht isn't a huge factor, true, but it could be a big issue in certain contexts. restriction of genital growth from blocking dht could virtually take metoidioplasty off the table, for instance.

>>6922213
Shave it, it'll grow back. And yeah it should get darker and less soft on T

>>6922116

An average cup. My drinking cup is probably smaller than an actual measuring cup.

>>6922213
Shave it. It'll probably get darker, depending on your hair colour . Beards tend to be the same colour if not a little bit lighter or differently toned than hair colour. I have some white and grey hairs still despite being very dark haired.
The hair will get thicker and wirey over time though.

>>6922214
I just assumed he'd be on it less than a year, but he said he already had some balding before T so he seems to be a bit more sensitive to DHT than average.
In that case he's probably going to have to explore some different options and medications, a topical DHT blocker like saw palmetto comes to mind, and be used in conjunction with say, DHT cream for genital growth.

>>6921755
Also posting this for you, and anyone else who may find it useful: https://www.baldingbeards.com/best-hair-loss-treatment/

anyone here been on those phallo yahoo groups? Are there any pictures of better looking results than what avalible publicly?

>>6916567
>coming out 4 and a half years ago and still not on hormones

This place is the exact opposite of mtfg.

>>6922552
MtFs can self-med. FtMs need access to a controlled substance.

>privilegeunchecked.meme

>>6922019

Actually, I don't think it's the medicine anymore. I was fine yesterday but today I feel all woozy and out of it. 'Can't tell if it's anxiety or something I ate though.

>>6922863

I wouldn't wanna self medicate anyway. That sounds dangerous. I'm no doctor after all.

http://www.strawpoll.me/11253801

>>6923253
>no 'not yet' option
Shite poll

>>6923651
i think that's what "give me the d" was supposed to signify. just whether you want it at all or not.

>>6923253
I'm kinda on the fence desu

>>6921755
And you didn't bother to ask her to print out your blood results and ask where your number fits into the normal range before she completely cucked you out of your t?

>>6922863
>controlled substance
Bruh all you gotta do is walk up to the biggest guy at the Y and ask if he knows where you can purchase some vitamins for muscle health

>>6923665
>don't necessarily want phallo but chose "give me the d" because I'd let another t guy give me his phallus inside my vagina
Instructions were not clear

>>6923727
>I'd let another t guy give me his phallus inside my vagina

It says no homo, ya dingo

How does a pre t guy go about getting a bf? Should I talk to straight, gay, or bi guys?

>>6921842

Well if they're transtrenders, they probably never had dysphoria

>>6923727
>>6921788
My T was 980.....I don't remember the form of measurement.
Since T is controlled, I'm not going to take more than she prescribes and then be out of it for some undetermined time because I "wasn't due for another vial yet". That much I take very seriously. Hoping my next blood test will be something she approves since I felt completely fine with it at that level.

>>6923984
Sounds like ng/dl, 980 is within the normal range, high-ish but really not as long as you aren't packing on tons of pounds or getting disfiguring acne she should have left you on that dose imo. As long as it's consistent and not giving you any trouble, even if your test is a little above the max normal range (approx 1200ng/dl) it should be fine.

If you want to up your dose again, tell her that you're unhappy she dosed you down, you understand that you shouldn't rush for changes and spike your hormones but you feel you're on too low a dose now and you aren't getting any meaningful changes at this dose and you want to look more masculine.

My endo is super liberal with t. After my first bloodwork while taking t, I was at 1119 ng/dl and she told me that I had higher levels but I didn't gain muscle or get fat, had good cholesterol so she thought it was just normal for me. Then she asked me if I wanted to up my dose more to try and grow a beard (I still can't grow facial hair for shit 2 years post-t now).

>>6913507
I feel dead inside.

>>6923727
>>don't necessarily want phallo but chose "give me the d" because I'd let another t guy give me his
>tfw i will never have a post-op ftm husbando to wreck my boypussy

>>6923253
>2016
>reshaping a chunk of arm flesh into a peen that doesn't get hard
metoidioplasty master race
now that silicone penile implants exist to bring even the worst micropenis up to average size there is no reason to not get meta
unless you're anti-circ given the only guy who does implants won't do them on intact dicks, brb crying myself to sleep
>>6923984
your t levels are normal, you doctor gypped you out of it

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does anyone want to look like a fem guy or does everyone want to be masc?

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>>6925467
i don't really want either extreme
pic related is approximately as fem as i find tolerable but i wouldn't actually wear makeup
at the same time i don't want to be markedly masculine

>>6921641
girls don't like bald guys

it's a fact,most peoples don't look good when they bald and those who does already shaved their head

>>6925348

I need to hear more about this implant business

>>6926365
Girls don't like dickless guys either but what can ya do

>>6926404
website of practicing surgeon in question: http://www.drelist.com/penile-lengthening-surgeries/
surprisingly decent-for-modern-journalism article on subject: http://www.gq.com/story/penis-enlargement-surgery
dr elist says that the implant can expect to add about two inches of length immediately and stretch out another inch or two over the proceeding months or years. estimates for the average clitoris size of a trans man vary, but centralize around 2 inches, and this might be slightly larger in the context we're discussing given the least hung ftms aren't the ones who get metoidioplasty. also, meta itself often causes some growth. average erect size for a cis man of european descent (seems fairly country-neutral) is around 5 inches, so with those factors combined the average trans man post-meta and post-implant could expect to end up in the average cis male range

>>6921842
I hated cute shit as a girl, wanted to be as macho as possible. Now that I've accepted that I'm trans and want to pass as male, I really want to wear a lot of cute shit. Like oversized pink hoodies with skinny jeans. I don't really have one particular style, so it wouldn't be all the time but... I just want to be cute sometimes.

Problem is, that shit would make it massively harder to pass, especially early on in my transition.

>>6926434

Can't read the article right now but many thanks.
Why only circumcised? But fuck yeah, from the sounds of this, my inner 14 year old is 'I told you so'ing me. I knew I could hold out for more. Science, bitch!

>>6926565
i have no idea why he can only operate on mutilated dicks but it truly saddens me
maybe he'd be able to work around it in an ftm scenario by claiming a post-meta penis is still technically a clitoris, given fgm is frowned upon in the west more than mgm is? further research is needed
worst comes to worst, foreskin restoration techniques are decent and genuine 3d printed foreskins aren't far off (certainly way closer than 3d printed dicks are)
but yeah, as someone who has no choice but to get bottom surgery at the first possible opportunity due to intensity of dysphoria this is a really great step forward if it's as viable in an ftm context as i think it is

>>6923917

in my experience plenty of gay and bi guys won't care and will be cool about it... but straight guys aren't exactly hard to get either... idk how someone really goes about looking for or finding someone though... guys just kinda ask me out and shit so i've never really done anything like that... so i can't help you there, seems like just being around people or frequenting anywhere you can communicate with them online is all that needs to be done to find a date...

personally i prefer dating people who are bi so they don't have all that weird bitterness and fear a lot of straight/gay people do about me being bi... i don't even get what the difference someones gender would make with shit like cheating or whatever anyway...

>>6924866

what's wrong?

>>6925467

i'm not very masculine, and i'm not the put on a costume or a show type so that's not gonna change...

though i find it weird when people say "want to be" like treating any of this is about wanting to live up to an image rather than just ease dysphoria...

>>6926638
>though i find it weird when people say "want to be" like treating any of this is about wanting to live up to an image rather than just ease dysphoria...
A A P
A
P
or being a confused underage who just came out and hasn't shifted gears in his head yet. they're kind of hard to tell apart, especially when they're in the same person

>>6926572
>i have no idea why he can only operate on mutilated dicks but it truly saddens me

Found this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6NSu0mYgJQ

I don't really get it though, he just says it like it's obvious and neglects the fact that I'm a dum dum.

>>6926697
fucking hell that video intro is ostentatious, though youtube was having buffering issues when i opened it which is probably why it annoyed me so much
still only like 1/3rd of the video was actual content

i don't think you being a dum dum is the reason for any failure of understanding, because elist's explanation there lacked validity. it would have made more sense to me if the explanation involved the penile skin somehow as was implied in the gq article -- they had to pull it over or something, which would be more difficult on an intact person. the best interpretation i can get for 'too wide girth' is that it could damage the foreskin somehow by stretching it?
i feel like i should contact him directly and question him on how implants would work in an ftm context but i'm an autist, it wouldn't go well

>>6926668
For me, it's because right now calling myself a guy just highlights all the ways I'm not a guy. Like trying to call my clit a dick, or calling my freakishly large chest my "pecs." They're not pecs, they're tits. Stop trying to make me feel better.

im not the man I want to be. But given time, maybe I can be.

(Sorry, I hope this made sense, I'm a little loopy from my meds rn)

>>6926668

i'm sure that's it in some cases yeah...


>>6926714

i just kinda see it like transguys are transguys regardless of where they are in transition... and there's no "want" to be anything, there's a necessity for treatment but that's not saying "i want to be a guy one day" as if surgery and hormones change who you are to begin with... or like you've got a costume waiting for you after t

it's not really calling a clit a dick or tits pecs to make yourself feel better... it's just using the actual words to describe what someone is (trans and what way they're trans) no one's pretending to be cis, when they refer to themselves as a transman or transwoman... they're just actually trans is all...

it just sounds weird to me to say "i want" as if this is like some choice or fantasy rather than you know... having an issue that requires medical intervention

cuz i look at it more like "i want medical treatment so i can just be comfortable one day" not "i want to be a guy" not "i want to pass better" etc so to me it just sounds off to say it like that...

>>6926736
>>6926714


+ i also think it misrepresents what being trans is to people... like... there's so many people who hear shit like someone saying "i want" and then think this is a choice, like some elective thing someone can just kind of want because why not?

meanwhile, when someone has an actual medical condition, it's not really a matter of wanting to be anything... it's not a choice, if it was there'd be a lot less trans people... and i honestly think it ends up being detrimental, and harder for people to take seriously as a result of people using words that imply it's anything other than a medical issue

and honestly if it is something else for someone, if it's something they just kind of want for whatever reason... that's fine, they should be able to do it, but people who don't have a medical need to transition aren't trans... and using language that suggests otherwise is detrimental to people who have actual issues that need attention

>>6926710
>it would have made more sense to me if the explanation involved the penile skin somehow as was implied in the gq article -- they had to pull it over or something, which would be more difficult on an intact person.
If that were the case, I'd imagine an intact person would actually fare better, since there's more skin to work with.

Looking at his circumcision video (below), I think the logic might be that the skin is sutured in place following a circumcision. So if you're intact, you'd be able to pull your foreskin back and expose the implant, but if it's sutured in place around the circumference of the penis, it'll stay safe? idk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rhQ_JXKRwY

http://www.strawpoll.me/11257681

>>6926820
you can recognize me on this by the fact i am the only kinsey 0 response
>tfw could be interpreted as not even that by a strict interpretation of kinsey 0

>>6925467
I'd like to be macho man but with my physique it's much more fitting to be a feminine one. I basically have a fashionable teenager image, with long-ish hair and nice clothes (although I keep it simple and mostly wear black/white/gray/brown/beige)
>tfw people think I'm a gay twink

>>6921842
Sometimes I get massive urges to go full sweet Lolita, or wear cute pink stuff in general, wear dresses and shit. But once I attempt to sate these urges, put on a dress or makeup, I immediately feel silly and disgusting, and start to panic.

I have no fucking clue why it happens or why my brain wants me to act retarded, but it does. I think maybe it's because I enjoy the aesthetic and want to emulate it as such, kind of like looking at a delicious wedge of smoked Gouda and then craving smoked Gouda. I think with bio males this craving exists, but the societal inhibition is more hammered in, unlike the new, fresh inhibitions that ftm are developing. Therefore, ftm act on the craving to wear girly shit and adopt an aesthetic or fashion style that's not gender-appropriate, unlike a biological male.

>>6926710
He's saying that since he increases the width of the penis in surgery there can't be any foreskin, he doesn't say why but I think he's implying the width increases so much that the foreskin can't stretch enough and would cut off circulation to the head of the penis.

>>6925467
Unless I start roiding like rich piana I will always look like a fem guy, I building muscle right now and I realize if I get really big it would look super weird with my face looking really young and effeminate.

all the shit going on in nyc is bullshit right now... fucking right before i go back too...

>>6926756
>>6926736
I know that, it's just a personal hangup.

It's taken me a really long time to come to terms with the fact that I'm trans. I feel like such a sham. I have dysphoria, I want very intensely to be male-bodied, but I just feel like a sham. I wouldn't have dysphoria if I was really a guy.

Like intellectually I know that having dysphoria makes me a trans guy. I believe that other pre-t trans guys are guys. It's just hard for me to make that connection to myself if that makes any sense.

I feel better today.

>>6927314

I live in NYC and didn't notice anything. Putting on the news, apparently something happened.

>>6927460

fair enough...

>>6927462

yeah, bunch of bomb shit... i'm moving back to brooklyn soon... it just figures this is the sorta timing i've got

my s/o is really into news, he had wanted pursue journalism before he realized how much he enjoys cooking

>>6927497

+ that's how i know about it... cuz of him... i'd live in a weird bubble with no news if i wasn't with him

cuz i just read, play guitar, and go on walks and shit so i never pay attention to shit that's going on...

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Tfw coworker asked if I was a boy or girl and me being thrown off guard and socially inept as usual just said "sure" and I didn't explain anything further..

What have I done

>>6927790

well... at least you were honest...

Lewd discord for cute people :3

https://discord.gg/8yMDtbv

>>6927904
I wish I had the guts to just tell him since he's a good kid, but I'm just not good at that shit. And I think I dug myself a deeper hole than just saying I'm a trans guy (or atleast male).

how do you guys deal with the heightened sex drive and does it ever go away?

Pre-T I had a healthy sex drive, ie mind in the gutter 24/7, hours browsing porn, masturbating at least once a day, sometimes twice. I'd finally managed to get it down to a couple of times a week because it was literally affecting my life negatively (kept being late for things or just cancelling to jerk off).

But I've been on T for a month now and it's spiked up worse than ever. 3 times a day is a literal struggle right now, if it wasn't for fear of losing my job, I'd easily spend the entire day going at it.

Anyone else have trouble with this kind of thing? It's both tiring me out and fucking up my social life.

>>6928615

you're probably worrying too much, personally i would've found that answer funny and wouldn't have taken it very seriously...

>Mfw ill never be a real boy

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>>6928833
>tfw

>>6928615
Unless you went full autism he probably just thought you weren't paying attention or listening to him lol

>>6928685
It plateaus out after awhile on t, I remember going on t in the beginning I used to get these really strong phantom erections and I would be so aroused for no reason that it would physically hurt. I actually haven't got one of those in awhile. I'm still constantly thinking about sex though.

>My chem professor has this sexy russian accent
>He's pretty cute too
>I spent all of todays lecture daydreaming of him bending me over his desk; he yells at me for not paying attention in his class while we do it, afterwards we play with his 3d molecule models
>Right when I'm in the middle of daydreaming about him giving me the d he looks me straight in the eye while he's explaining about some protein sequence that looks like some scientist just gave up and started banging his head against the keyboard
>I kept fantasizing about him because I have literally no shame

Now all I can think about is that he's a mind reader and he knows...

>>6929308
He saw you giving him the look. And you're crazy if you think a Russian wouldn't be transphobic

>>6928685
I masturbate so much I barely get horny anymore. I don't know why but my libido didnt really increase on T, ive only gotten a boner like once

>>6926503
>>6926943
Thanks for the insight. I was actually wondering why some FtM like ultra girly fashion like lolita. Guess the appeal of kawaii knows no bounds.

>>6929454
Meh people can surprise you. You never actually know until what people think even if they think they have an opinion on the subject. Even if they hate trans people they realize the one they met was alright and then they are at least neutral or at least not rabidly hateful about it. Anyway the more educated people are the more they don't care or they try to understand.

>>6929162
I tend to use that answer a lot because I kind of panic despite being asked it all the time. "Sure" or "let's go with that" are my answers to those questions 90% of the time.. I'm still not fully out or on t so I haven't quite gotten the balls to just say I'm male.

Been gettin that question for years though.. I don't even think I'm all that masculine looking but everyone asks me what I am even when I think I look pretty feminine. It's weird

I keep getting hit on by the type of people who make me feel like a babysitter who's too tired to keep up with the kid (even when they're either my age or older)..

I just want a bf/gf atleast suffers from grouchy old man syndrome as much as I apparently seem to.. Because I feel old as fuck talking to some of these people

>>6929864
that was just some /pol/ retard, who's probably on a government list now.

the real bomber was surprise surprise a shitskin muslim!

i'm not sure what my problem is exactly. i've known i wanted to transition for several years now, but lived in a shitty rural redneck town, so put it off until college. now i'm in a big city at a pretty liberal college, should be the perfect time to do it. but for whatever reason i'm really freaked out about actually going through with it. i've already introduced myself to people with my birth name out of anxiety. and then another issue....everyone has name tags on their doors, i'm one of the first people to move in, so it would be really easy to cross my birth name out and write my chosen name in instead, barely anyone will have seen it as this point. but for whatever reason i'm scared to do it. the whole prospect of transitioning is freaking me out i guess...first of all because i'm worried i'll regret it later (not that it's likely, but it's such a big decision to make that i can't help but stress over it), and also because i don't know when i'll be able to get T, and i don't really like the idea of being obviously trans to everyone i meet.

>>6930411
>big city at a pretty liberal college
a quarter of your classmates are tumblrgenders so you should easily be able to introduce yourself as male and find an informed consent clinic for t

>>6929864

no... i was talking about actual bombs some muslim guy put around, not whatever i just read...

>>6930132

of course it's not surprising, we're at war in their countries, and that's the style of warfare they've chosen... so yeah when something like that happens it's not surprising that it was related to what's going on here...

but since it sounds like you're just stuck on the muslim thing, there's plenty of christian terrorists and shit too... had those bombs been in an abortion clinic or some shit guaranteed it would've been a christian terrorist that time...

>>6930411

is there a unisex nickname you can use or something? really though, you're the source of all your own discomfort right now, and you can either push yourself to be more assertive and get over or continue to let it bother you... but you're in a liberal, accepting environment, might be beneficial to not hide yourself and actually interact with people as who you are complerely...

So, /ftmg/, did any of you guys ever go through fashion phases in your life?

Right now I'm in a pastel cute phase. Not quite pastel goth tier but I unironically enjoy bright colored clothes with cute designs on them, like cupcakes or puppies. It's such a 2010s fashion craze though that I will probably outgrow it in a few years. A while back I thought of going goth for conveniences sake (black goes with everything and is cheap) but I realized I don't like dull colors.

>tfw you have a rabid fear that a man will find out you're ftm and attack you in some misogyny based rage

Boys Don't Cry made me paranoid even years later.

>>6931319

Christ, same here. That case/movie was my introduction to the existence of trans men and the first thing to give me context for the way I felt. Not a great fucking first impression.

I need to talk to SWG, where is he?

>>6931319
Become the jacked dude that beats lesser FTMs, then you will have no fears

>>6930411
Therapy

>>6931319
Don't hang around criminals in the middle of the fucking bible belt and you'll be fine.

It's only black hons who get beat outside the south.

>>6931319
iktfb, I'm not really concerned about people who I'm already friends with finding out though, but when I got outed at uni for example I had some paranoid fears one of the students is actually some uber right-wing freak and will want to set me "right" with his fists, or worse, with his dick.

>>6931242
I used to have that fedora kinda fashion sense, wearing things imported from South Korea, shirts everyday, even with ties sometimes, wearing black+red combo, I cringe each time I think about it. Nowadays I just dress like any other normie. Guess I had a phase where I wore jeans all the time and now I mostly wear chinos, and jeans only sometimes

>>6931319
>>6931386
>>6932407

i've never even once considered some shit like that... none of the guys i know give a shit about anything like that, and i'm not uncomfortable around guys...

i mean... i've had guys just kinda touch me and whatnot, but i don't go into social situations and think about that kinda shit happening... it's not like... something i really think about idk...

and anyway i'm used to people getting too close and being touchy... that's been always... so idk... i guess i don't think too much of it, it doesn't really register for me...and i've had chicks get like that too, so it's not like it's a guy thing...

people don't typically get physically violent with me either...

and anyway the guy that shit happened to was involved in a lot of shit, and so were all the people who did that to him... i could never watch that movie i find hilary swank really unattractive and that other chick too and it was boring... but i watched docs and shit...

and there was a lot of complicated shit going on there... it was more like when a transchick is fucking a bunch of guys who are pieces of shit and doesn't tell them she's trans than like some random crazy thing that happened...

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>>6931242
i kind of had an identity crisis when i was like 16 and tried to go full tumblr art girl for about 6 months, until i realized pastel colors and tacky 80s jackets were not flattering to me at all and i went back to plain dark tshirts and jeans.

though if i could pull it off right now, i'd dress full shia-core

I can't tell if I'm ftm or not. I just wish I was MAAB but I still want to live as female.

>>6932507

then it doesn't matter if you are or not does it?

>>6932496
This is the gayest thing I've ever read. And not in a good way.

Are there any gay ftms who are tops ?

>>6931242
I used to be a scene kid. Typical edgy scene kid clothes, I started dying my hair platinum blonde because I wanted white/silver hair like all my favorite anime characters, lol, I ended up dying my hair lavender/lilac color and I loved it. This was before every 12 year old had pink hair and there were no good resources on doing it diy so it looked terrible and completely fried my hair.

I still like disgustingly cute shit though, I can't go on cgl anymore because I'm afraid I'll start buying shit. I think it would be cool to get into ouji, aristocrat is goat, but all my friends decided to pretend they're too grownup for anime anymore. I dress pretty normal though even though I like weirder fashions, I'm just too poor and lazy to dress that way day-to-day.

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does anyone do really masc job like mechanic or construction work?

>>6934193
Yeah, post-ops.

>>6934691
I'm an engineering major if that counts? Not old-school manly but definitely a boy's club

>>6934193
I'm one, not post-op like the other anon said. We exist

>>6934691

i haven't had a job in years... and i'm physically incapable of any work let alone physical shit now...

The pharmacy gave me a different brand of needles and they're the same size as I usually use but they hurt a lot more. Wtf.

>>6935023

they might not be as sharp... even something slightly blunt will hurt more...

I just realized I can grow my hair out and still pass because stubble.
...might be time to go long before male pattern baldness rears its shiny head. I just hate that awkward Inbetween stage.

>>6935425
Just rock the mullet, man.

>>6934193
Yes.
Pre-op.
>kill me

>>6934193

Penetration is gross. No.

>>6932569

I've thought about hormones and surgery.

>>6937644

well... why is that? why are you considering doing neither?

>>6936809
As someone who's hair naturally grows out into a mullet I agree.

Rock it till you can't man.

>>6934691
I work maintenance, which involves shady construction if that counts. Shady as in no permits for even some minor bullshit.

'manly' jobs are oddly rewarding but it's murder on your body and you're stuck outside in any and all weather. All my older coworkers are crippled in some way from doing these jobs all their life. Coworker cut himself on a band saw and had me burn it shut instead of going to the hospital(despite I had the supplies to stitch him and have done it before) and he went right back to work.

I'm not scared of top surgery but I'm scared of the recovery process.

>>6938362
I'm scared of spiders

>>6938390
I love spiders. One lives in my bathroom. He's my bro.

>>6938362
>had small boobs
>did keyhole
>easy recovery, no scars, girls mirin
sucks having giant man titties

>>6938362
The scariest part of top surgery for me is being put under with general anesthesia, I don't even care about them cutting into my body. I wish I could elect for it with local anesthesia instead. Also it would be super cool to see them cutting me open and operating.

>>6938465

i wish that too... i would love it if that were possible, i find the idea of being put under kinda fucked, but i'd be totally fine with being awake for the procedure and even watching... that wouldn't bother me at all...

>>6938504
>>6938465
That's fucking weird. I've been put under once for knee surgery, there's no way I could have been awake for it without panicking. I mean, hell, I had an MRI scan and was shaking like a leaf, the technician was getting really sick of my shit.

>>6938536

well... if i'm going to be painlessly cut open i'd prefer to see and be aware of what's going on... there's just something really fucked up to me about the idea of being put under and shit happening to my body while i'm unaware...

i opted out of the gas for getting my wisdom teeth pulled cuz the idea of that bothered me, and it wasn't even a big deal, so something more invasive makes me even more uneasy... it's a comfort thing for me, like if i'm more aware things are more ok...

+ idk... i'm not all that bothered by that sort of thing, but if it was me in a room while someone else was being operated on i'd probably pass out and/or puke...

i don't like hospital settings or doctor's offices, they make me extremely anxious, which is part of why i'd rather be awake...

when i get really fucked up anxious though, i try to keep my mouth shut and stay still and cooperative and clear my head... try to focus on being pleasant and whatnot... doctors and nurses and shit don't usually notice how bad my anxiety is with anything other than iv's... i can't stand those, and after they put them in they'll be like "you can move your arm you know" and i'm always just like "i know, but i can't" ... i don't like people knowing everything i feel, and being visibly emotional in front of people is something i try like hell to avoid... so i'm pretty good at hiding what i'm feeling and faking calm...

>>6937990

You mean "either"? Like I said, I wish my body was less feminine. I don't like having breasts or a feminine voice yet I don't think I want to live as male either.

I wish I knew how to be social. I realized I haven't exited my house since Friday. I don't plan on exiting it within the next two weeks either. That isn't healthy, I know, but there's nothing to do.

>>6938362

I've wimped out since I was a kid.

>age 8
>get dangerous surgery, didn't mind
>age 18
>freak out at the idea of even going under anethesia for 30 minutes to remove my wisdom teeth

I genuinely thought I was gonna die that day. I thought I'd never wake up. I saw an article on a guy that died at the dentist so I freaked out.

>>6938733

idk, did i? i probably meant what i said, but who knows? we can use your word choice instead if you'd like...

i thought you meant you didn't want surgery or t, and were just gonna live as female...

idk... i'm drunk... i honestly don't remember most of what you said, just that i was under the impression that you were planning on living as a chick, which is why i figured it doesn't matter if you're trans or not...

but clearly you have a lot of feelings about this, you gotta sort them out on your own though no one else can tell you who you are or what's gonna make you happy...

my voice and chest bother me the most as well... but i've always viewed surgery as mandatory, and with t well... i would've never wanted to be on it my entire life, now that's probably not an option for me anyway though... but that's health issue related

anyway, you don't have to make a decision right now or decide on anything... reflect on yourself and what you want... not like decisions you make now are necessarily permanent especially if you just opt out 'til you're ready

>>6938765

how do you plan ahead 2 weeks in advance like that? i can't even guess what i might feel like or end up doing in the next 2 weeks... or tomorrow... even though your plans are to not do anything, i still find that vaguely impressive...

i wasn't even worried about dying with the dentist and not wanting to be put under... i just, don't like being unaware in an unfamiliar situation... especially if i can't just wake up on my own... bothers the shit out of me, but it's... i deal with a lot of sleep paralysis and shit... and the idea of being put under gives me that same sick feeling that shit does

did you keep your teeth? i asked for mine when they pulled them, and gave them to my s/o...

>>6922552
I just turned 18, first shot is actually finally on october 6th. I am so fucking hyped but yeah, I think its bullshit that I had to wait 4 1/2 years

>>6938884

My life has been the same for years. I rarely go outside or do anything much.

>>6938362
The massive inevitable scar and possibly fucked up nipples I'm going to have is a bummer. I think I'll be able to get through recovery with help from my spouse and family, and enough pain meds.
Bottom surgery is still too scarily invasive for me to seriously consider at this time though.

>>6939150

i wouldn't say i do much, but i go outside every day that i can... and idk... committing to doing nothing 2 weeks in advance is still too much commitment for me

do you prefer it inside or do you want to go out and just feel uncomfortable?

>>6939247

bottom surgery doesn't appeal to me, i can't go that long without sex, the idea of risking anything like that at all is terrifying, and i think i'd kill myself if shit wrong and i swapped working genitals for some kinda medical fuckup...

>>6939407

went wrong*

just had the weirdest interaction with some guy outside the liquor store... waiting for my s/o and i lost my id so i'm just kinda chilling, and he drove up and starts asking me if i'm ok and if i have anywhere to go and was in and out of the place talking to me... i told him i was just waiting for someone, and he told me he would've offered me a bunch his phone but he saw i have one...

then he proceeded to walk into a bunch of shit, and then shook my hand and introduced himself saying he hopes to see me around

he had a huge gay cross on his neck... shit was funny...

>>6939407

Both? I like the idea of going out but I'm such a shut-in that I've lost all sense of what to do outside. I get bored within 20 minutes of walking around aimlessly.

>>6939723

just wondering... i'm used to wandering around aimlessly, my s/o and i were actually talking about that... we'd get kicked out of our houses so much as kids we just got used to being outside and wandering together... so i'm fine with it

but usually i get drunk and/or high first and then bring more alcohol or weed or whatever out to get shitfaced somewhere outside... makes it more entertaining and slightly less aimless, but i also just am fine with looking at shit and taking pics and whatnot + i'm usually not alone (when i am i just bring my bird, gypsy, and then it's less boring cuz she gets all excited about shit about everything... purring and shit), and i'll do shit like bring my guitar out or something to read

being indoors a lot makes me depressed though, even when i'm too sick to do much i try to drag myself outside for a bit even if it's just to sit right out front otherwise i feel like i might go crazy

it's part of why i hate the winter...

have you tried just going out every day 'til you get bored just to get used to it?

there was a point when i was living in this really fucked situation, and taking a lot of pcp and pills and shit... and cuz of the way shit was (i don't feel like getting into it, just... it was hellish, no exaggeration, like being in a fucked up prison) i actually started having severe panic attacks going outside, and it took a while of just forcing myself to be able to do it... while your situation is different, i imagine getting used to being outside would help you a lot... especially if you kinda do wanna do other shit

is it dysphoria that's kept you inside or other shit?

>>6938465
you can get it under twilight anaesthesia, which involves more sedation than local but less than general
you can also get a hysto under those circumstances so at the very least that's 2/3rds of a surgical transition without general anaesthesia
the only surgeon i know who specifically does twilight anaesthesia instead of general is dr elliot jacobs in nyc, who has a minimal scar technique designed for gynecomastia surgery that's accessible to more chests than peri is and can be done in multiple stages for more borderline cases and also does di in case that wouldn't work

>>6940323

twilight anaesthesia sounds like it could be a good time...

>pre-t
>naturally high t levels
>some patchy facial hair
>notify employer, line up a change of nametag (i'd earned a special printed one for job performance)
>have binder
>have male uniform
>moved out of my mother's house
>looking into therapists
>now i just have to nut up and start dressing to pass
>in small-town indiana
>i know for a fact a good deal of my coworkers aren't going to be supportive
>overheard their ranting in the break room after people started boycotting target
kill me

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>tfw no qt ftm bf

>>6940367
>moved out
>not away
You already left the nest dude. Fly a bit further and leave hickville

>>6941645

not always easy for people to do that... maybe he's where he's at cuz he can't afford a different place or to relocate that far, or has some other legit reason for staying there... shit situatuons are rarely as simple as "just move far away" and not everyone can do it...

+ he's still gonna have to go to work and deal with that shit for some amount of time anyway...

the reality is likely just that he has to be in an uncomfortable situation for a bit and just deal with it 'til something better comes along...

>>6941793

situations* my bad

>>6940367
Fuck 'em. I don't know what kind of place you work at but these people don't need to be your friends. Last place I worked at, my interaction with colleagues was minimal cos we had a job to do. If they become assholes to you that's unprofessional and grounds for you to official complain. So you put your hard head on and they can eat shit.

>>6931665

Here, nigga

>>6939407
I'm sure I could wait out the recovery time for bottom surgery if, at the end of it, what I'd get was basically a cis dick in at least how it looks. Ejaculation would be nice too.
The risk factor is also a big concern for me, I'd hate to have any complications on top of the full healing time, and to think SRS usually requires 2 or 3 separate surgeries for it to be complete isn't good either. I'm already phobic of hospitals and medical procedures enough as it is.
So I can't really settle for what's on offer at the moment. Maybe in a couple of decades.

>>6942336
metoidioplasty + silicone penile implant after healing = normal or near-normal sized penis of an extremely similar appearance to a cis one
it would require two surgeries, though
that's my plan as someone who is too dysphoric to avoid bottom surgery (and also has a phobia of medical and surgical treatment)
it's worth noting that while every single ftm seems to believe he can wait out until bottom surgery is better in 'a couple of decades', it never will be if they all wait

>>6942336

i couldn't manage it, i get legit depressed if i haven't had sex in a couple of days... makes me weird... i can't imagine willingly doing something where i put myself out of commission for a long time... fuck that... especially given the risks...

i don't think it would make me feel less dysphoric to have that sorta thing on my body... cuz it's going to look and be something surgically crafted and unnatural... and that + recovery time + risk + price... just nah...

i'd rather be able to fuck continually and be uncomfortable for the rest of my life, than go without sex for that long and risk anything involving my genitals fuck that... any complications there wouldn't be worth it

Question:

I've been on HRT for 3 months now. I started at age 24. Throughout this process I've been told that I won't get any hip growth. I read the final ossification usually happens around 22.

However, I feel like I am getting significant hip growth. Not fat, bone. This seems utterly impossible though. Especially in 3 months at age 24.

Anyone have experience with this? I swear my hips are wider and it's not just placebo? I can maybe post before/after pics if necessary.

>>6942388
Fuck wrong bread. Sry bros

>>6942350
>metoidioplasty + silicone penile implant after healing
I've seen meta results, but having a really hard time finding any images of penile implants with it too. I'll withhold my judgement on the appearance for now, but appearance is very important to me whether it be bottom or top surgery.
And to address the waiting, I'm kind of holding out hope that stem cell research and 3d-printing methods will take the place of meta and phallo, or perhaps they can be incorporated into already existing surgical methods for even better, more realistic results. I dunno. I still haven't even had top surgery yet, to be quite honest with you, so bottom surgery already feels like it'll be quite a few years ahead of me.

>>6942378
I can definitely relate to feeling depressed when you go without sex. But I think even a year of no sex while my new dick heals in would be totally worth it for the pleasure of actually being able to penetrate a partner, and feel it, and feel good.
Although of course, what I have has to actually look the part too. Though I'm impressed enough with the functionality of phalloplasty that if they could create an actual dick-looking phallus from my hairy-ass arm/ass skin, then I'd go for it. But we're not quite there yet...

>>6942388
>I feel like I am getting significant hip growth
Have you even measured before/after?

>>6942445

no i mean it like... i think i'd rather cut my own arm off than go a year without sex... not even joking

>>6942628

actually... make that one of my legs, i probably couldn't stand to lose an arm, but one of my legs...

>5'2
>extra small frame
>huge and dense tits
>really don't like binding or bras (doesn't make a huge difference either way tho)
>but still hide my tits as much as possible
is it even possible to look kinda effay before surgery and how
when i loose wear clothes my tits aren't visible much but i look like a fat retard
but i've been thinking maybe i'm just doing it fucking wrong and there's a wright way to do it

>>6916932
i've been wondering about it actually
i think his overbite or whatever chin disease he has contributes to his face looking young though, it's more his voice that bothers me, it's not exactly feminine but it sounds like he just hit puberty
but i know some pretty babby faced men irl and they can't all be trannies so i'm always skeptical when it's just the face, it seems to be common in betas to look 10 years younger than you are

>>6939825

Dysphoria? I doubt it. Now that I think about it, I've always been asocial. The last time I had friends over to my house I was probably 6 or 7. I never went outside as a kid. My parents wouldn't let me as it was too dangerous. I just grew up going straight home from school and never talking to my friends outside of school. Naturally, once my social anxiety began I had more of a reason to stay inside. Now that anxiety has dwindled but I still have no reason to go outside unless I need to.

>>6943042

I'm in a similar rut but at least my chubbiness gives me an excuse to look top heavy. My binder doesn't seem to bind much.

>>6919939
>and I live in Appalachia
Can I ask where in Appalachia? I just managed to escape but still have an ftm friend back home.

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Anyone lose weight on T? I'm starting it very soon. Right now I'm kinda chubby (153 lbs at 5'8", barely any muscle) and it's mostly in my thighs which I've been desperate to get rid of. I heard T raises your metabolism but apparently also increases appetite which doesn't help my case since I already have eating problems due to psych meds.

Also for thread topic, pic related is my corgi with his faced squished in my mom's lap.

>>6941645
>>6941793
yeah, I dropped out of college and the extend of my work history is starbucks so my only work option is "be a barista somewhere else". it's not a bad gig but it doesn't pay nearly enough to afford a long distance move.

not to mention, my 13 year old sister came out to me (she's gay) and i don't want to leave her on her own with no support system.

>>6941912
that's pretty much what i'm planning to do, lol

>>6943671
*extent
i've only had a few hours sleep for a couple days and its showing, lol

>tfw taking my GED in a few months
>I haven't studied at all and still don't feel like it

I can't even remember how to long divide or multiply fractions. I just wanna go to college and get into a good career. Not going to college seems impossible. What can a lower class, disabled trans dude do for a living with just a high school diploma?

>>6943690
starbucks or target. both relatively reputable companies, and sb will pay for your college if you work a minimum of 20 hours a week.

also if you need refreshers on that stuff i'd suggest googling a math game or something. it sounds really immature but making learning into a form of entertainment really does work.

>>6943716

I don't wanna work some $14 a hour job for 40+ years. I want a proper job. Everyone in my family seems to have working class jobs like factory work or part tim jobs, I want something more serious.

>>6943803
Bartend at a nice restaurant and make $40,000-$60,000 a year.

>>6943803
like i said, starbucks will pay some of? your college tuition (i don't know the details of it)

it's not a career but it'll pay for a cheap apartment for a while while you study

>>6943832
this is true, a bartender in a reputable establishment can make good money

>>6943690

disabled how?

>>6943671

yeah... you don't really have a choice but to deal with it now unfortunately, you could look for a job elsewhere... are there any nearby more accepting areas?

it sucks, but shit does sometimes... idk, i might just be used to shit situations and such though, but... you being there for your sister is important, and well... money

being a barista sucks i did it for a year in 2 places... i burnt myself just all the fucking time, the drawer stocked with burn cream was exclusively for me

and in one of the jobs this older puerto rican lady used to follow me around and like fucking put cream on burns and shit like i was her kid... go and get ice and grab band aids and stuff... shit was funny, older women always get really motherly towards me

>there's been a thread on /vr/ for a week that's about trans people and isn't even game related

The mods can be so wishy-washy.

>>6943663

Cute dog. I wish I had a pet but I live at home and my mom is a cleanliness nut. We have budgies but they're caged.

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>>6944306
Ty. I miss this fluffball. He's been in New York all summer with my mom and won't be home until late October.

Sorry to bother you guys with a question but like
A lot of trans women seem to repress by being ultramasculine and joining the military or getting super /fit/ or whatever. Do some trans guys repress by being hyperfeminine for a bit? Has anyone here tried that? How would one even go about that?

>tfw you'll never be a long haired femboy who looks androgynous in men's clothes and cute in dresses
>no cute gf who likes dressing you up and maybe crossdressing with you

Ugh, normally I am effeminate but not crossdressing tier girly but sometimes I get these weird fantasies. I need to stay away from femgen.

>>6944410

I rarely see that actually. I think it's because of how different female gender roles are from male. Most timelines I see have the trans guys seem tomboyish pre-transition.

I've thought of it but it's too horrible. I am pre-transition and living in girlmode. My parents want nothing more than for me to act feminine. Shave my legs, grow out my hair, wear makeup, etc. I've given thought to that but it's disgusting and unnatural. I feel so gross whenever I try to do it. I can't fake my personality.

>>6944410
Yeah tons of guys do that, usually as a teen or right after the start of puberty as a sort of "YOU'RE A WOMYN NOW" thing, denial, or last ditch attempt.

Gothic Lolita and its many forms seem to be popular, especially for people currently in their 20s now

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>>6943042
there are definitely young looking/acting cis guys, yeah, but i feel like this is something else
in the photographs where you can actually analyze his face shape he has a lot of things that i notice in trans guys far more than i do in even feminine/babyfaced-looking cis ones (e.g. forehead shape, most cis guys have noticeable brow bossing and almost no ftms do)
he also has a lot of feminine hand gestures without the personality type that would consciously learn feminine hand gestures and is hardcore secretive about his past (and appears to be actively lying about some of it)
intellectually i'm trying to remind myself that this is crazy and i am an autist for caring but emotionally i am sold

tfw even after going to the gym for months and tripling what I can lift I still look skinny and pathetic

Meta and a penile implant? Explain.

>>6945888
silicone penile implants are now regularly used (though only by one surgeon with, as would be expected, a high demand) technology that can greatly increase size, with the implant immediately adding around two inches and increasing over time
the average ftm clitoris with t is 2 inches, the average cis male penis is 5 inches, and an implant could easily bring the former up to the latter
larger ftm genital growth + implant could even result in an above average penis post-meta
i discussed it earlier in this thread as well, you can google dr elist (the surgeon who performs the implant) for more information and pictures of cis results

>>6945325
oh god i only now noticed that remark on the poster
really adds to the burn

never seen any of his videos besides the edups response one but i think i might dedicate my life to finding more clues now

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>>6916137
This is why roasties cannot be trusted.

>>6944410
I did that. I'd fluctuate between being a tomboy and being sickeningly feminine. I always felt like I had something to prove. Every time though, the girly girl thing made me incredibly fucking uncomfortable and I'd go back to baggy t-shirts and giant hoodies.

>>6944410

I did, early 20s. Basically playing dress up, and stayed very conscious of the line between being aesthetically appealing (fine) and sexually appealing (bad).
But always went back to dude mode once I was home, or going to anything where dressing up wouldn't be appropriate.
Just being casually feminine just wasn't possible/comfortable, it was either making a fancy slightly tongue-in-cheek show of it, or not at all.

vote ftmgen
http://www.strawpoll.me/11283612/

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You guys like my fursona?

>>6945875
Gotta increase your calorie intake dude. If your workouts are cancelling out your gains due to calorie deficiency, you're going to be a pathetic twig forever.

>>6944410

i did, i was raised very catholic and while i didn't believe in the religion i knew my a lot of my family did and it scared the shit outta me... i'm one of those trans people who surprised no one when i came out, and when i was younger i was scared that people could tell... since people made comments sometimes and whatnot...

anyway i thought if i just looked very feminine no one would know and i could hide it and repress it and not have to deal with shit like coming out and whatnot... so i did that for a bit, but all it did was make me more dysphoric and led to me realizing i just needed to accept it and couldn't hide it... cuz hiding who you are is just uncomfortable as fuck, it felt like lying to everyone and made interacting with people awkward...

it's really shitty honestly, wouldn't recommend it... as for how you go about it, idk... i find women attractive so that made it easier probably, picking shit out i would find attractive on someone else and shit...

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>tfw constantly hear "girls" when people refer to your dept workers
It's all girls besides of me. Well, the most of people working in other depts are also women. Even between the workers, they're often like "hey girls" and then they're like "...and boys", like they never mess it up one on one but in group I'm constantly forced to be grouped with girls. I'm starting to want to puke inside my mouth a little every time I hear the word now.

>>6944410
Nope. Couldn't bring myself to do it. I had to dress girly for a wedding once, and I know it's weird, but I felt so emasculated and uncomfortable that i got purposely got black out drunk just so I could leave the after party asap.

>>6947269

i had to be a bridesmaid before... it was kinda awkward, but eh... i got so shitfaced it didn't even matter, i was underage but everyone in my family was taking turns handing me alcohol so by the end of the night i was just completely wasted and covered in beer (not mine) ended up sneaking into my s/o's house (his mom went away overnight and he wasn't allowed to have me over... she flipped her shit over us dating) and spending the night which is most of what i remember...

>>6947269
i was a junior bridesmaid in my aunt's wedding in 2009ish and was really uncomfortable the whole time
the pictures (well, every picture from that era of my life) betrays great discomfort and it was one of the few times in my whole life i dressed up feminine, the only other one i can think of is primary school (year 7) graduation
on the latter date i at least thought i looked alright from an abstract 'pretty girl' perspective but i did not exactly enjoy it by any stretch of the imagination (and i was never pretty as a girl i only look alright as a dude kek)

>>6944410
I never did. I have never worn makeup in my life except for lip gloss occasionally and lipstick once. I would dress up if I had to, but for day to day I was always a tomboy. Not even so much because it made me feel masculine, just because I was super uncomfortable with myself and I wore basic unisex clothes. I dress more feminine as a male (skinny jeans, bright colors, etc.) because I think those things look stylish and I'm comfortable enough with myself to wear them.

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>>6947199
>mfw going into office job at hospital's maternity unit
As far as I know, the only guy in that office space is the dude I'm replacing.

>>6947199
>>6947463
just get jobs that aren't pink collar so you can hide that you're both aap scum
shitposting aside, that sucks. i went to an all girls school for a few years that overlapped with the timeframe i realized i was trans and started trying to transition, so i have felt the hell you live in

>>6946009
That's...fascinating, actually. I gotta read up more on this.

Are there any questions you think are important to ask at a top surgery consult? I'm making a list of Q's.

>>6947714

if they remove your nipples ask if they could switch them

>>6947921
lmao

>>6947292
I was legal age so I bought all my booze, my family surely would've cut me off earlier had they seen how much I actually drank. I just slept it off in the car because we were visiting from abroad and the hotel was too far away.

>>6947322
I wish the wedding pics betrayed my discomfort, but I looked absolutely miserable. As for graduation, I skipped out. I was a huge loser in elementary so it wasn't much of a loss for anyone.

>>6946009
You got any links?

>>6947959

my family just found it amusing to give me alcohol and they were all just like "you're 18 try everything" i'd already been drinking for years at that point, but it was a nice gesture and they didn't all know... so they gave me a ton of different shit and then sent me off in a cab to my s/o's a little before the wedding ended... no one cared

with my family being cut off is a matter of someone is passed out or puking, 'til then you can drink...

+ they were also doing things like i'd have a cousin call me over and be like "hey have some of this" and then i'd drink that, walk away and one of my uncles would be like "here don't tell anyone i gave you this" so it was a lot of people handing me things secretly

underage drinking was a huge deal at the place too, and no one else who was under 21 was drunk... just me

>>6948013
lol, I wish I could drink like when I was younger. I'm not even 30 yet and I can only have like 3 beers or else I'm destroyed.

>>6944410
Never done that. I grew up in a family with no expectations regarding my femininity or lack thereof, and even the society around me gives around zero fucks about how women behave. Never had an outside "push" to act in a certain way, I've been dressing like a man ever since I was able to pick up clothes for myself and all I've met was "ok whatever you like" or "you look like a dyke, but whatever". I can't picture myself in any feminine way, mannerism or appearance.

>>6947921
Lmao. I'm kinda scared the the grafts won't take and I'll end up like no nip Steve. But I don't smoke so they'll probably be fine.

>>6948061

i can't drink like that anymore, alcohol intolerance is actually one of the symptoms of the shit i have wrong with me... so now i get shitfaced on nothing, can't drink most kinds of alcohol, risk bad reactions with everything except wine and jager etc... not gonna lie though, it's my favourite symptom in the sense that getting wasted has never been so easy and i drink often still... also can't get to puke drunk anymore cuz i can't even drink to that point so that's nice

but i used to just have huge binges that'd last for days-weeks, and i also used to do shit like take muscle relaxers when i'd drink to get more fucked up (it could kill you don't do it)

>>6948103

that no smoking during recovery shit is gonna be hell for me...

>>6948152
Ask your surgeon if nicotine patches or lozenges will be okay. It's probably all the other shit (tar etc) in cigs that affects recovery.

>>6948275

nah i can quit cold turkey when i need to, i just really enjoy actually smoking + i'm assuming weed is out too unless i eat it...

>>6944306

you know you really can't keep budgies in cages like that, they're supposed to be able to fly every day... their cage is just supposed to be for them to sleep in or have a place to go if you're gonna be out a while or some shit...

>>6948284
>no weed after top surgery

f-for how long

>>6948465

i'm assuming you can't since smoking is out... that's part of why i said recovery would probably kill me with that shit... idk how long, but there's always edibles and other drugs...

Will I be able to get my nips pierced after top surgery with nipple grafts?

>>6948647
Don't see why not.

>>6948647

Heck, if something goes wrong, it might be prudent to pin them in place.

What do you lads do on Friday nights?

I feel so lame staying in every week. I'm a 20 year old. Shouldn't I be living my youth, going out to parties or hanging out with friends on weekends? Instead I'm shut in with my folks watching a Bette Davis film by myself and watching history documentaries.

>>6949114
I used to go out with my friends or gf every weekend, drink some alcohol, do some coke or molly and maybe have sex. Recently I moved away and now I have nothing to do. It's kinda boring but I'm sure it's better for my health anyway.

>>6948367

I'm an /an/ user and an amateur animal welfare activist. I know all about what budgies need. My parents are the issue. No amount of arguing will get them to take care of them correctly. Most people I know don't let their birds out of their cage so they assume it's healthy too. The most I can do is wait until I move out and take the birds with me.

>>6948621

Why not eat it? I'm aganst drug use and so I don't know much about cannibis, but I heard eating it is a lot healthier than smoking it.

>>6947592
But being a librarian is comfy and okay paid ;_; it is usually women working there tho, yeah, it's almost as bad as being a male secretary.

>>6949152
smoking is more convenient and cost effective

i wonder if vaporising would work

>>6949114
i do get together with friends to do silly things and get shitfaced occasionally, but i also appreciate free time and solitude for the mental rest it gives me around the busy working week

>>6949114
I'm at a bar by myself. I usually have 1 or 2 friends with me but I just moved and don't know anyone.

>>6948843
Why is this making me laugh so much

Please help decide the future of /lgbt/. Hiro recently stated that he is willing to modify the rules is a board has a consensus. Here is the poll:
https://sys.4chan.org/derefer?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.surveygizmo.com%2Fs3%2F3066275%2FNew-Survey
Here is the thread discussing this:
>>6945955

>>6949114
Idk I never do anything friday nights because they make me anxious, I work weekends and I can't stop thinking about how horrible work will be the next day. I hate my job and to top it off, I'm still presenting as a girl there, until I'm better financially (my job is female dominated and men are viewed with suspicion). I'm counting the weeks until I have enough saved for job surgery + training for a better job in the same field. Then I'm coming out and I'll never have to go back to that shithole.

>>6949534
Country flags would be kinda fun but all of the other proposed changes are fucking stupid.

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I need a little guidance /ftmg/.

I've been on T for almost a month now and its killed my sex life. I've had a ton of downstairs growth (basically the only effect so far) and as much as I like it aesthetically, I get super uncomfortable boners, but no increased interest in sex. I also have what feels like really painful uterus cramps every time I orgasm.

I know the sensitivity is bound to go away eventually, but what about the orgasms? I've heard they're supposed to feel different but this fucking sucks. Will it go away? Am I dying? Please share experiences.

>>6949842
Just get your uterus taken out.

>>6949842
If you keep getting painful cramps go to a doctor that doesn't sound normal, I literally could not stop masturbating when I first started t no negative affects

>>6949160
I don't see how being a librarian is a problem. You're around educated people and can probably present your side of the story rationally and well spoken. Do you live somewhere very conservative like bible belt or something?

>>6949873
fuck off maki

>>6949842
i've heard of some guys experiencing these cramps when orgasming

http://ftmsextalk.tumblr.com/search/cramps

>>6949909
>reading about uteruses made me smell period blood so realistically i had to check if i'm not bleeding
what is this fucking smell schizophrenia

How am I supposed to get a sexy russian bf if all russians hate gays?

>>6949114
i also mostly stay home kek
these days though i'm getting out more, i went to a gig a bunch of my friends were playing at last night
i'm 2.5 months on t now which is why i am newly capable of leaving the house
>>6949152
>2016
>against 'cannibis'
shitposting aside, yeah, edibles should be fine, most people just have a strong preference for smoking
>>6949842
hysterectomy
>>6949869
i don't think he's complaining specifically about the role of being a librarian inasmuch as he is complaining about it being pink collar work

>>6949982
russian ftm boyfriend?
settle for a different slav?

>>6949973

You've heard of smellovision, get ready for scenternet!

>>6949152

i would just let the birds out anyway personally, but i also take my roommate's dogs for walks and shit cuz i feel bad for them so idk

that's what i meant by edibles... but i prefer smoking anyway, like cigarettes and weed i just enjoy the act of smoking... also the high is different when you eat it, you need to go through an entire process of extracting thc first, then cooking with it, it doesn't exactly taste great either (that's never stopped me, i've eaten what was probably one of the most disgusting weed cakes ever), and you need way more for it to be worth it... it's just a lot of work, and the high is good and lasts longer and all that, but it's easier to just smoke it and i enjoy that more
>>6949378

vaping might actually be alright, idk for sure, but it wouldn't be as bad at the very least...

>>6949114

i always wonder why people ever talk about bette davis' eyes like they looked like anything other than a bad case of grave's disease...

i do the same shit i do any other night on fridays, or whatever comes up... either one...

people like different shit, if you're happy doing what you're doing there's no need to feel like a loser about it... people make it seem like if you don't do everything you "should" do within a specific time frame you're somehow less than, but really people are varied, shit's subjective, and if you're not that sorta person you aren't gonna be content doing that kinda shit

>>6949982
My ex is russian. He fucked off from Moder Rus because of all the gay hate, and in my experience it's not that difficult to find gay russians outside of russia for the same reason.

>>6949990
No I'm mostly just venting because of this guys who's exactly my type, sexy af russian accent, but I feel bad for lusting after him because it's "unethical" (student teacher relationship). Like I need to suck a dick to get an A, I'm so good I could take a test while sucking dick and still get an A. An A on the test and an A at sucking dick.

>>6949997
>We can smell each others farts over the internet
>We still haven't make contact with aliens yet, besides donald trump

If humanity doesn't meet aliens before I die I'm going to come back as a ghost and haunt the shit out of someone until it happens

>>6950069
It sucks how much hatred there is there... ohh well, more sexy russian accents for us.

>>6950098

what if aliens just kind of suck? there's no guarantee they'd be interesting at all really...

>>6950120

This. What if it's just like an alien dung beetle? Or an amoeba?

Yo, I legit just measured my bust and I found out I was an F cup. Anyone know any places that have cheap binders for big busted people like me or smth because man this fucking sucks dicks. and not in the good way

>>6950141

exactly, people always talk about aliens like they've gotta be cool, but there's really no reason why they would be... it's highly possible that they'd suck and we wouldn't be able to communicate with them on any level... which is really about the same as a lot of the shit that's on our own planet with us...

>>6950180
Even if we only found an amoeba out there, it would be exciting because it would mean there is other life out there besides us and there could be creatures we could communicate with. Just like life was cooked up on our planet there has to be other planets it happened on too, even if most of them are bacteria and simpler forms of life.

>>6950216

i'm not saying life doesn't exist elsewhere, it'd be an odd thing to assume given how expansive the universe is, everything we don't know, the fact that we discover new shit on our own planet still, etc etc etc... what i'm saying is if we found an amoeba on neptune or some shit most people would just go "that's crazy" and then the novelty would wear off and they wouldn't give a shit cuz it wouldn't be a very cool alien...

sure some people (my s/o for example) would get crazy excited and go on and on about the possible implications (which wouldn't have really changed, it'd still be "there could be more out there"), but it's not like finding something actually cool out there...

and i mean really, unless you're really into amoebas they kinda do suck and wouldn't be that interesting... it wouldn't be like getting to see some actually cool lifeform and the word "meet" was used rather than "find" so i assumed like... communicating and the alien being more than just something you can't interact with was important...

cuz ok yeah space life would be cool, but i mean... once you know it's there you know it's there and all the possibilities don't change what you have so... how cool is an amoeba after a day or so?

Dunno if you guys know this already, but Buck Angel just came out with a sex toy specifically for trans men, pretty neato, look it up

>>6950377
ye I was gonna make a post about that

https://perfectfitbrand.com/buckoff.html

Does anyone have a link to information about meta surgery with a silicon penile implant?

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>>6949909
Whats with this meme of everyone hating me recently? I support ftms in every way...im super drunk idc. Everyone wants me dead ..just wish i had someone in my life... So very drunk

>>6950163
as a fellow titty monster let me just say DO NOT GET GC2B

How do you guys mention wanting hormones to a therapist? I plan on seeing one soon. Am I supposed to be upfront and say I'm there for transition reasons?

>>6951444
"Hi. I'm trans. Please help me start hrt."

>>6951062
it's ok maki, i appreciate your funposts

>>6950377
>>6950556
>the first product designed specifically for transmen to engage in stroking fun
uhh pretty sure i've seen others
but it looks ok i guess. not very interesting. a sleeve to put on your junk so it makes you up to an insert-able length would be nice
if it could incorporate some kind of mild pumping into the mix (might need it to keep it snug on there) then that would be great too
i bet there aren't any innovative toys like that though

>>6948148
What do you have? I don't *think* there's anything wrong with me, but I can legit only drink beer now, anything else gives me the shakes for days.

>>6952091

you'd know for sure if you had what i have...

a few years ago i got lyme disease, and it and the treatment for it fucked me completely... as far as i know the lyme is gone (i was advised to still go to a doctor who specializes in lyme treatments to be sure though, i can't tell this all feels the same anyway), but it left me with chronic epstein barr issues (90% of the population has the virus, but in rare cases it becomes a chronic condition usually due to an extremely lowered immune system, my doctor thinks this was cuz of the doxy lyme treatment... killed all the good bacteria and then lyme causes herx reactions as it dies off which fuck you worse) and chronic fatigue syndrome (though there's a lot of weird controversial shit with that and technically it'd be considered myalgic encephalomyelitis since i get a lot of neurological symptoms) i've got a couple other health issues, but that's why i have the alcohol intolerance shit...

i basically went from feeling great and being really active to in constant pain and occasionally pretty much bedbound pretty much overnight, and there's no real treatment or cure

that is a strange reaction to alcohol though, is it just beer or other drinks do it too?