Trans Help General #123

Anyone know how easy/difficult it is to self med while in the process of joining the armed forces? specifically the UK royal air force and royal navy. I need to know if you can discreetly buy and take the meds while staying in the barracks during the basic training and whatever comes afterwards, like do I have to worry about room inspections, is there any privacy? Also if i go through the informed consent route and have my meds prescribed do I have to worry about hiding my meds and having to explain what they're for to superiors and others?

>>6874087
I remember an American solider saying they couldn't self med because if anyone found or saw their hrt it would be considered non-prescribed drug use and they would be discharged. I have no idea how it would differ in the UK forces though.

>>6871893
if you're on the fence of passing and you have a clearly feminine name, it's more likely people will gender you correctly. this could work against you too if your voice is terrible for example and you will be clocked as a tranny.
probably doesn't matter at all if you clearly pass

>>6874807
you don't have to go in girl mode for a first appointment, not even in RLE practicing countries in europe
just explain that you don't feel comfortable dressing in a feminine manner because you get even more dysphoric because of your manly body or something

>>6874087
>basic training while taking girl pills
I can't be the only one who thinks this sounds fucking miserable though, right?

I've been self-medding for a couple of months but a tranny convinced me that I should get an offical diagnosis so that I know for sure that's I'm trans

Really anxious about it as I don't pass at all because I have permanent beard shadow due to coarse facial hair, so I'd find it difficult asking for a referral to a GIC (and then the actual GIC appointment would be even more suffering

I know I need to do this soon but I'd feel more comfortable after a few more sessions of laser (and a chance to grow my hair out further)

>>6874863
>just explain that you don't feel comfortable dressing in a feminine manner because you get even more dysphoric because of your manly body or something
That makes sense and describes my feelings well

Thanks, it's 6 months between the referral and GIC appointment so I might be better by then

>>6874900
Why would a transwoman go to the army willingly?

>>6874916
US army will hire anyone

>>6874902
where you from anon?

>>6875974
UK

How do I bare being female for 3 more years desu, it's driving me crazy and whenever I look in the mirror I want to cry, I have an ugly haircut because my hair is shit asian hair and my face is round, I'm tiny and look like a 12 year old boy desu

Name shortlist right now is Anna, Catherine, Elizabeth, Emily, Erin, Isabel, Jacklyn, Jordan, Mackenzie, Maria, Natalie and Sarah. Any definite duds?

>>6877671
Most of those sound fine. Actually like half of them are names of girls I knew in elementary/middle school.

(Born in 1998 if that helps)

I won't accidently neuter myself or anything from tucking, right? I know that the nads in the body kills some sperm, but I'm more worried I'll permanently damage something when handling them

>>6878247
Nope, don't do something that feels like you're hurting yourself and you should be fine. It's really not that complicated. Theoretically you are risking an inguinal hernia but you'd really have to fuck up the tuck to do that. Also, you only really damage sperm if you keep a tuck going for an unreasonable length of time, sleeping in it for multiples and not taking it off for anything kind of deal.

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I need some help...

So I've already ordered hormones and I'm waiting for them atm, there's a problem though.
I came out to my family and all of them basically think it's just a phase, they think because of my ADD I'm obsessing over it and convincing myself I'm trans even though I'm not.

See, even though I'm not depressed anymore on my anti-depressants, I've been getting suicidal and self harm thoughts again lately from all the stress this has been causing me of them all wanting me to do therapy first because they don't believe it's true yet I truly thought until everyone starting doubting me that this would make me so much happier.
Now I'm just a confused miserable mess on the verge of self harm again and I really don't know what to do, I'm starting to doubt myself and I'm just lost.

>>6878975

Just self med once you get the hormones. You know yourself better than your family.

>>6878975
What's the point of not going to the therapy? Seeking professional help should be the priority also you can self med and go to the therapy, they just sound that they care about you and will probably help you if you go to the therapy(going to the therapy should help you regardless.)

Would it be better to spend a few months losing weight while I work towards starting HRT legit, or to start self-medding now while I'm still trying to lose it?

>>6879259
I've lost 20 pounds since starting HRT but I also blame it for hair loss

>>6879259

I dunno if it were me I'd want to get on HRT as soon as possible,

>>6879259
Losing weight is not worth masculinisation from waiting.

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is my hairline receding? i have long, thick hair but the weird U that i've circled bothers me a lot.
ive always covered my forehead so i never noticed how weird my hairline looks until recently... now im wondering if my forehead really is just big or if im losing my hair.

>>6879552
go to a dermatologist and ask

>>6876848
Can you get a haircut you would like better and maybe start working out or something? Sorry I'm not ftm just trying to guess what might help.

>>6879584
I'm on that, but I'm still living with my mother and she's terribly transphobic and completely against me "looking like a lesbo" and if I masculinise myself even a little she'll kick me out, I'm currently working out but I'm stuck at home because the thought of going to the gym gives me mad anxiety + I have hormonal issues and can't build much muscle anyway.

>>6878418
How do I get them out of the canal?

>>6879685
Also, are they meant to somehow secure in there or is the only thing holding it in place my penis?

>>6879720
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjZFhnFFItM

>>6879656
:/ I'm sorry that sounds like it really sucks

>>6876848
All pre-T ftms start out looking like 12 year old boys, better than looking like a girl. Why do you have to live as female for 3 more years? You moving out after then?
At least you can dress like a guy and have short hair until then.

>>6879773
>>6879656
Ugh sorry didn't see that post until now. Scratch that. Move out ASAP.

>>6879656
But your mother is right. Masculine looking women are Lesbians most of the time. I doubt that she is "transphobic"

>>6879552
Hard to tell. My hairline is about the same. You might not go bald but i am pretty sure your hairline will move back.

I guess you are a tranny so that's bad for you. I am a regular guy so i ll just go bald if it is my destiny. I already accepted that i ll die alone

>>6879781
just kill urself f a m

>>6879726
It's okay, it does suck but thanks.
>>6879778
Not an option right now, but we're leaving the country maybe next year or the next and I'll have more liberty (Live in the mist dangerous city in the world so I can't leave my house without the fear of getting killed) so I think I'll just wait.

How do I stop wishing I was a girl ?


How bad does it get if you ignore it ?

>>6881583
>How do I stop wishing I was a girl ?
The only known solution is to transition.

>How bad does it get if you ignore it ?
very.

>>6881583
>How do I stop wishing I was a girl?
You don't

>How bad does it get if you ignore it ?
Ignore it and you'll have three options
>suicide
>transition
>wait too long and become a hon

>>6881597
how bad is very?

>>6881623
Very as in "suicide is a better option"

>>6881632
suicide seems like a better option that embarrassing myself and having people think I'm a super-fag

>>6881648
Why do you value others over yourself?

>>6881663
because it's a bunch of stuff i'd rather not deal with

i'd rather not have to have a talk with different members of my family about me being like this


and i'd rather not talk to a therapist because they're probably not going to tell me anything that makes it worth the visit

and it would be a whole lot of effort for a very small chance of being successful and passing as a woman

and if not

xD you're a guy with tits

and people will look at your life and laugh

>>6881648
>don't transition
>end up killing yourself

>transition and succeed
>feel truly happy for the first time in your life

>transition and fail
>you can still kill yourself

The risk is worth it.

Stupid question, but I assume beard shadow goes away if you get laser on your face?

So I think I've finally figured out how to tuck right, but after trying it a few times this morning, my testicles have felt kinda weird all day. They don't really hurt but it feels mildly uncomfortable (no I'm not in a tuck right now). Is that normal? Or am I doing something wrong?

>>6881685
>don't transition
>no one knows i'm a fag

>transition and succeed
>family knows I'm a fag

>transition and fail
>family knows I'm a fag


it seems like a lose/lose/lose

>>6881680
>rather not talk with family members
I hated doing this too but transition is really slow and other than your closes family you don't have to tell anybody. I for myself do not plan on telling my grandparents ever as they would not understand.

>Rather not talk to a therapist
There are a lot of bad therapists but also a lot of good ones. Chances are if you pick a gender/trans/sexuality specialized therapist they will be willing to help you - like writing a letter to a doctor or whatever depending on your country. At best they will actually help you in dealing with things other than trans shit as well and at worst you get your referral and never go there again.

>A whole lot of effort for nothing
It's probably still better than your current state. Even if nothing physical at all happens, which is very unlikely, you will still get positive mental effects from the treatment.

>You're a guy with tits
Tits are easy to hide and at worst you can play it off as gyno.

>People will look at your life and laugh
Unlikely, most people have enough problems to deal with on their own to spend a lot of time taking pleasure in making fun of life choices strangers took that they disagree with.

You should at least try to take your life into your own hands. If you do not you will be a shell of a human being forever.
Disregard the morals of others and make your way to become the very best version of yourself that you can be.

>>6881720
So you want to make your life miserable to appease people who would hate you if they knew who you really were?
Would that really be worth it?

>>6881720
You sure put your family on a pedestal. Move out and become the faggot you deserve to be.

>>6881698
with enough treatments yes.

>>6881788
>>6881793
desu with hate/not hate me it would be like 50/50, and not hate doesn't mean accept

I would probably take steps to transition if I knew that no one except for me would know what I'm doing.

It's the anxiety and embarrassment of even saying I'd like to talk to a therapist, let alone saying "I'm a huge fag".

>>6881807
The fact that you're thinking of it as if being trans just means you're a "fag" is a problem. It's literally a medical condition for which the treatment is to transition; you shouldn't be ashamed for undergoing that treatment nor should anyone judge you negatively for it.

It is totally worth pushing through the anxiety, even though it's difficult. It is just going to get worse without treatment, and you seem pretty anxious about dealing with it and hiding it in the meantime anyway.

>>6881807
im trans and im straight
you dont have to be a fag

>>6882332
>>6881807
i guess youre a filthy transbian though so gl hf with being a fag lol

>>6882338
I've only ever had crushes on guys


but 90% of people

guy that wants to be a girl and who likes guys = huge fag

>>6882313
I wouldn't care as much but I can't stop thinking about it and it makes it hard to concentrate on schoolwork or reading.

>>6881715

It's reasonable that they will feel weird at first. You'll probably get used to it over time.

>>6882415

I used to care a lot about what my family thought before transitioning. But I moved out and started transitioning, and now I don't care as much about what they think about it. Basically as everyone said, live for yourself and do what you want. to do. You're gatekeeping yourself lol. You know yourself better than anyone else, and you have to live with yourself 24/7/365 whereas other people only see you part of the day and have their own lives to focus on. So just transition.

I've got into a terrible loop, I'm too anxious and scared to go out on my own which means I never meet people but without people to hang with I can't build up the courage to go out.

It's not like it's even obvious I'm a tranny since I'm still early so I've no real reason to be so nervous around people but I am, I'm fucking terrified of them even though I just come off as a fag.

wtf do I do? ;_;

>>6884036

I'm sorta in a similar situation. 1.5 years into transition I don't pass and I'm still boymode all the time. I basically don't want to leave my apartment much because I don't want other people to see me. So recently I just stay inside by myself, not really meeting people or whatever.

Is height a big problem with ftms? I'm super short and I'm convinced I don't pass because of it, making me feel like shit.

Hey hello
this Monday I have appointment with gender identity clinic in London.

I saw a guide or kind of thing to what to do . But I cant find it anymore .
Anybody know where I could find it.
it was like something
"how to deal with NHS"

>>6885535
http://bytenoise.co.uk/oh-for-fucks-sake/mascara-and-hope.pdf

>>6874050

I'm gonna just leave these links here....

http://www.nyspeechandvoicelab.net/transgender/voice-feminization/

http://www.nyspeechandvoicelab.net/transgender/voice-masculinization/

http://www.nyspeechandvoicelab.net/transgender/gender-queer/

>>6885251
a short effeminate man looks less "scary" than a tall masculine woman so you have that going for you, not to trivialize your experience or anything.

itll definitely make dating straight women difficult, tall, dark, and handsome is still "in"
for the record, i find short, effeminate men quite sexy, but i am a bi, mostly lez mtf.
so i think your biggest problem would be the reduced dating pool. you might get some second looks from people but after your voice drops i dont think youll have much problem with passability.

What do I do to get from tanner IV to V? I've already been on hrt since 2012 and I don't want to be stuck on "almost-done". I'm 24 now if that helps.

>>6885939

I'm not even sure all cis women reach tanner V.
But I'm not sure.what you could do.

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I'm a 23 y.o. mtf and I've been on hrt for almost 2 years.
I feel like most people go fulltime by now but I'm still living as a male, feeling shut-in and depressed and dysphoric. Most people go fulltime after 1 year right? I feel like I don't pass due to my face looking masculine, so I don't want to look like a freak to people. How long after starting HRT do people usually start fulltime?

How do I use things like nair?

>>6886013
I am 25 and iktf.
I don't think I'll ever be able to go full-time tbqh.

I have been going out in andro mode but I feel disgusted with myself every time I do that so I do that less and less now.

>>688601
I went fulltime after the second year and at the same age, everything went fine. You'll be okay!

>>6885788
Oh I'm married so finding a partner isn't really what its about, I just want to pass in front of other people. I'm still not sure if I want to fully transition, I'm ok for now being an ambiguous twink but my voice also lets me down. Can you really change your voice without hormone therapy or is it just a meme?
Thanks for the advice btw

>>6886013
i went fulltime after like 8 months. i passed like 60% at the time. This gave me motivation to work on my appearance and clothing better so i could pass more of the time. Around 1.5 years i passed 95% of the time because of the effort i put in.

Don't want to sound harsh anon, but you sound like one of those people who take hormones and expect to magically pass after a certain amount of time. You do have to put effort into other things to get that done.

>>6886168
butthurt hon detected

>>6886159

>Don't want to sound harsh anon, but you sound like one of those people who take hormones and expect to magically pass after a certain amount of time. You do have to put effort into other things to get that done.

I take care of my hair and skin and eyebrows and nails, get laser, practice voice (but don't really use it outside), and I dress andro sometimes when I'm not depressed but I feel like I always "collapse" back into a no-effort male state because I if I look in the mirror my face is too masculine and I can't let other people see it without stressing out about if I pass or not and feeling everyone's disgusted eyes on me.

There was a period of time when I would sometimes go out in girlmode in my free time and stuff. But I stopped doing that, and when I look at pictures from that time period I realize how masculine I looked.

>>6886045
How long do I wait?

>>6886220

In my experience you need to wait longer than the time on the package. Wait like 25 minutes or until it starts feeling irritated.

>>6886227
Thanks! I'll just try a tiny bit at first so I don't get a chemical burn or some shit

>>6886275
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001GAOV9Y
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00576AD4U

>>6886196
You didn't mention makeup, which can drasticly change the way a face looks. I mean i pass a lot less when i don't wear any. If it's still "masculine" after that then start saving up for FFS.

And one thing to note, people look for gendered cues when gendering people. If feminine cues overpower masculine, people will gender you female. So try to wear feminine clothing, do makeup, hair, wear jewellry, learn mannerisms etc. If people still look "weird" after that, it's something else getting you clocked.

Also, people generally look at females more often than males. As a dude you can pretty much be invisible. Try to find out which looks are "just looking at you because you are female" and which ones are "hey, that girl might be trans" looks. Because it's really easy to fall into the trap of bias that every look is "disgusting tranny".

>>6886196
And another thing, by living low effort male mode every day you're not doing your brain a favour. You're presenting your brain a dude every day so no wonder you keep seeing that. Your self image is not going to "update" to a more feminine state until you actually feed your brain that information. At least try to do part time girlmode at home to get rid of that issue.

And remember, you are your own harshest critic. You know your face well, other don't. They don't see most of the masculine aspects that you do.

>>6887244
>>6887294

Thanks for the advice. The "feeding my brain information" thing makes sense.

i want to appear cute in a feminine way, am i trans?

Okay so I got this simple sleeveless dress and it has these like extra flaps of fabric just behind the neck. What the hell do I do with them?

>>6888604
pics

Where do I find cute traps?

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Been consciously struggling with whether or not I'm trans for the past month or so. I've been struggling with it on an abstract level since I was young, but ever since I actually asked myself the question, it's just been non-stop shitty feelings all day every day.
But today, for whatever reason, I broke the streak and somehow felt content. So I just wanted to take a moment of shameless self indulgence to acknowledge that today was a good day. I hope you all have a good day, too.

>>6887984
That's nowhere near enough information to go off. MtFs can feel that way, but so can cis people.

>>6888604
Sounds like those are just for hanging it up?

>>6890530
Good luck I hope you can figure stuff out.

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>>6874050
Thinking about getting an orchiectomy.
Has anyone here done one and if so, did you notice any additional changes?

How do I come out to my family that I am trans?

I have been trying to tell them for a month but I get too scared. They are all cool people and they support LGBT, and I know they would support me. The place where my mom works even has a gayborhood sign on it, we even talked about it, but that is the farthest I have ever gone to even mention LGBT. Any time I try to tell them I get scared.

>>6891296

Maybe tell them each one on one?

>>6891296
send them a text or note telling you need to talk with them. This way you force yourself to talk about it.

Does anyone here live in the San Luis Obispo area? I got a hormone prescription from Lyon Martin in San Francisco but have since moved to SLO and I'm looking for a trans-friendly doctor but google isn't telling me shit.

>>6893001
Denise Taylor at CHC is who everyone sees. She's currently out of town until October, so in the meantime I've been seeing Thomas Knecht at the Pismo Beach endocrinology office. He's not experienced with trans people but is more than happy to prescribe anything.

You should check out Tranz Central Coast and their support group for more help.

>>6893060
thanks!! what dosage do you get from Knecht? what's that whole process like?

>>6893087
I'm currently on 50mg bicalutamide (daily), 10mg delestrogen (weekly), and 5mg finasteride (daily). Knecht prescribed 11.5mg lupron in the past for me but we couldn't get my insurance to cover it. He also writes orders for lab work and blood tests. If you do decide to see him then be knowledgeable about your medication and HRT in general because he's not experienced in transgender care. And he tries his best to use the correct pronouns, names, etc. if you were wondering.

Anyone have any good suggestions or resources on exercise routines for a trans guy trying to lose weight/bulk up without a gym membership, and the current exercise level of a moldy potato?

I was in cross country in high school, and I do love running, but I've heard cardio doesn't really help?

>>6893177
So he's pretty friendly then? I'm like super anxious about talking to doctors for whatever reason. I'm prescribed 50mg spiro and 2mg estradiol (daily, orally), but that's not nearly enough after a month, so I'm looking to up the dosage.

>>6893179
just go to /fit/. they have a whole sticky for beginners.

i recommend the stronglifts routine

>>6893204
I forgot /fit/ exists. I'll go take a look.

>>6893195
He talks loud and fast especially over the phone, which you might be uncomfortable with, but otherwise he's caring, understanding, and listens. I came to him at the worst time of my life and he's allowed me to get my life back by being the first doctor to prescribe HRT after so many others denied me.

>>6879656
Push/Chin-ups for upper body, leg-raises for core (sit-ups will fuck up your back and should be avoided) squats for legs, glutes and core. Also running. No need for gym. Keep your hair long and wear trucker/snapback hats if you can't cut hair.

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>>6890554
>>6888689
Here's a pic.

>>6890530
I wasn't ready to relate to something so hard.

All I want is contentment

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As a mtf, should I be avoiding sleeveless clothes? I'm afraid they'll emphasize my shoulders too much.

Pic related, this is a nice dress -with- sleeves

Quick question.
I expect to go on hormones within the not too distant future, and I wondered if there is something you can do to optimise breast growth, like a specific diet or something

>>6894883
I actually prefer sleeveless, I feel like it kind of creates an illusion by breaking up your bare shoulders making them seem more reasonable. IMO sleeves are what give you the man in a dress look the worst. Makes your back look smack like an upside down triangle and kind of obscures any kind of natural curve you might have.

I've felt like I'm trans for a while now, I've done my research on hormones and voice training and all that junk.
Now what?
How do I get diagnosed?
Where do I start?
Doctor? Therapist? School counselor?

>>6895230

Depends on your age and location. I personally can't comment on much more then my country's system, but you should first seek out a therapist (school councillor might work) and have a talk with them. If nothing else but for information of how the process goes.

>>6895230
Find an lgbt clinic and talk to a doctor, they might just deal them out after your blood work comes back or they might refer you to see a therapist.

The place I go to highly highly suggests you seek therapy but will give hormones to pretty much anyone 18 or over with about 2700 signatures on a few different forms.

Start by googling things like transgender health + your nearest major city. Can also try transgender clinic, serves, care, treatment, etc.

>>6895173
Become a lardass then wait 3 years and lose the weight.
If there was another way to get significant growth, cis girls would be all over it.

>>6891296
You will be scared, you just have to work through that part of it; once you do, unrelated things become easier because you'll have more resolve in general.
I came out and then got a ton of shit done that I was hesitant about because I was afraid.

Does being part of society make anyone else hate who they are? I am perfectly fine with how I am, all I did to relieve 90% of my disphoria was wear girls clothes, grow my hair, and shave my body and I'm cool with the rest. I dont mind any of the things that get me clocked until I have to go out and be around strangers. Then the fact that I'm a bit tall, have a boyish voice, a penis, whatever makes me want to kill myself because I'm turned into a spectacle. When I'm alone or with friends I'm totally fine with who I am but when I have to be out in public ~especially~ at work I get super depressed.

For the past few months I've just been a nocturnal NEET and I've been perfectly fine with that but I know I'm a drain on my family and kind of a waste of space right now but I'm afraid to put myself back out in the world and have another break down.

It's really frustrating because I like who I am and have no desire to change but that puts in the center of a lot of negative attention. Anyone been through this and figured out how to deal with it? I swear I'm not even a pussy, I have a strong will and I genuinely don't care what people think about me but, I've just been dealing with it for almost 3 years and it's just really hard to live with these days.

>>6895363
Get out more. Wait on a job for until you're more comfortable with yourself, but get out and do anything because it helps from slipping deeper into depression/ feeling miserable. Strangers care very little about other strangers generally; your concern about what they think of you isn't well grounded.

I've been on HRT for two years at this point and I'm really questioning whether or not I did the right thing, and whether or not continuing on down this path will actually make me happy.

If I had been given the choice at birth to be a boy or girl, I would have chosen girl with no hesitation. Even now, if there were a magic button to let me turn into a cis girl, I would press it with no hesitation. However...

Two years on HRT later and I'm still pretty much flat, my face has changed a little and I don't have acne anymore, my hairline has improved a little, but... I don't... feel like I've made significant enough progress to warrant the potential adverse health effects of HRT and I'm beginning to question whether I ever will.

I also feel like I've become infinitely more anxious and uncomfortable in public ever since transitioning because I have to constantly worry about my voice being okay and whether or not I'm being clocked. In this quest to be able to "be myself" I actually feel like I've become even more restricted in terms of "being myself" and now have more to hide.

I guess what I'm questioning is... given that there is no magical cure to instantly become a cis girl, if I wouldn't be happier just being a feminine guy and at least not having to constantly worry about being outed. I'm worried that I'm on HRT in the pursuit of a happier life that's never going to come and wondering if it would be better to not risk the health problems, not risk the trans hate and just act as femme as I want while presenting as a male.

>>6895393
It's really that I just don't like people and being semi obviously trans many people, treat me as second class or go out of their way to prove to me how hip and down with the times they are. When I was just a dude I was invisible and it was great but now it seems like everyone has to weigh in on my life instead of just ignoring me like a normal person.

>Strangers care very little about other strangers generally
I don't have a problem just walking down a crowed street because I pass well enough at first glance no one ever notices and 10 second interactions like ordering food and shit is no problem. It's really just having to be part of a community, such as a job. Every job I start the fucking rumor mill is all over me from day one. It's not even that I'm an autistic neckbeard with no social skills, I have lots of friends and make friends easily, I just want to be left alone.

>>6895431
Tried it, it only lasted a few weeks. Just give it a go. I eventually got the the point where I just re transitioned again. Day one I just threw my hair under a hat and wore my old guy clothes. Then I missed my pretty hair so I let that down, then I missed my pretty clothes so I put those back on, then I felt weird not using my girl voice anymore so I started doing that again and by then it was easier to just tell people I was a girl and not a crossdresser and that was that.

Just present yourself however you want and pretend as if it's completely normal. Use whatever voice you like, wear whatever you want, etc etc. But then you might end up in the same boat as I am. (>>6895363) Love yourself and hate everyone.

Experiment with your presentation, you can always just go back.

>>6895431
>I'm really questioning whether or not I did the right thing, and whether or not continuing on down this path will actually make me happy.
Are you happy now? This is the part that matters.

>if there were a magic button to let me turn into a cis girl, I would press it with no hesitation
There's your answer to whether it was the right thing.

>I'm still pretty much flat, my face has changed a little and I don't have acne anymore, my hairline has improved a little
This takes longer for some people, genetics and all that. Just keep going.

>the potential adverse health effects of HRT
I'm sure your doctor would have noticed them by now, assuming you have a doctor that you check with and not self med.
If you are afraid of specific health problems just go get them checked.

>worry about my voice being okay
Everyone sounds weird anyways, keep practicing.

>In this quest to be able to "be myself" I actually feel like I've become even more restricted in terms of "being myself" and now have more to hide.
Go outside more often and make more friends, you will feel better about yourself.

>not having to constantly worry about being outed
Have you been outed before? If you haven't, you're just worrying over nothing.

>>6895471
>Are you happy now? This is the part that matters.
I'm not. That's why I question.

>This takes longer for some people, genetics and all that. Just keep going.
If, after two years, I've seen very minimal effects and I come from a family of very busty, feminine women, I think I have a pretty good idea that I'm not going to get great results in the long run.

>I'm sure your doctor would have noticed them by now, assuming you have a doctor that you check with and not self med. If you are afraid of specific health problems just go get them checked.
I've seen my Doctor about my concerns and she acknowledged that I am at higher risk than cis women for certain side effects. Neither estradiol nor anti-androgens are safe to be on for the entire rest of your life from your 20s onwards, unless you want that life to potentially be shortened. I don't know many trans women who've made it to or past middle age, and mortality is too horrifying a concept for me to potentially shorten my life if my time here isn't going to be made happier and better because of that sacrifice.

>Everyone sounds weird anyways, keep practicing.
I've been practicing for two years, I still sound like shit

>Go outside more often and make more friends, you will feel better about yourself.
You assume I'm a shut-in. I'm not. I have a job and go out frequently.

>Have you been outed before? If you haven't, you're just worrying over nothing.
I have not been explicitly "outed", but I live in a very liberal area and that may just be the political climate influencing people keeping their mouths shut. I have gotten more than my fair share of weird looks and second-glances, especially after talking. More than a few of those second glances have been at my crotch, as if they're trying to determine if I have a dick or not.

>>6895552
Jeez, I'm right there in the boat with you. I'm a year ahead of you in transition and I still can't find the answer to any of those questions.

As for your health concerns an orchi is relatively inexpensive and and can completely cut out your AA and probably reduce the amount of E you need. Obviously SRS as well but it's not available for everyone/ not wanted by everyone.

The only thing I can say is love yourself. Just sit down and ask yourself if there was no one else on the planet would you be fine with you how you are and who you are? If the answer is yes, it's not you that needs changing it's just problems you're having with society at large.

I haven't put this into full practice yet but I plan on cutting out everyone I don't care about and essentially just becoming the quiet eccentric I used to be before I transitioned. When I transitioned I put so much pressure on myself to be more social and act more normally and it made me miserable and it made me hate myself. For years I never bothered with any of that and I was totally fine with it so I've come to realize, why did I stop? I was and still am perfectly content spending weeks at a time with extremely minimal interaction and only keeping a few people close to me when I do want to socialize. I've come to realize that I wasn't only that way because I was depressed, it's just who I am.

That's just my story, I don't know if that sounds like you at all but this is a pretty subjective matter so all I have to offer is my subjective experiences.

>>6874050
I'm having trouble thinking of arguments against this analogy, can anyone help?

>annorexia nervosa
>"I feel fat"
>You are undeniably underweight, we have physical proof

>transgenderism
>"I feel like a girl"
>then you need sex reassignment surgery and hormone treatment

>>6895659
An anorexic can still feel fat even while being rail thin. Dysphoria is relieved the closer one gets to the target gender.

>>6895659
Probably bait but one is a subjective feeling on an objective topic the other is a subjective feeling on a subjective topic.

When you reduce any complicated topic down to 27 words you can make it sound illogical, none the less two complicated and completely different topics.

>>6895659
One is a delusion and the other is not.

How do I get girl shoes when I have feet as big as a megaman character?

how to voice train?

Does anyone have that infograph that helps you figure out what fashion type you are? (I was a "winter" i think)

>>6898971
The skin tone thing?

>>6899069
Yeah. It also takes hair and eye color ino account as well iirc

>>6899069
>>6898971
I'd be interested in seeing this desu

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>>6898971
>>6899380
These "guidelines" are complete bullshit but here you go.

How to get estrogen in Canada that isn't $60? Pharmacy is too expensive. Don't want to buy online.

>tfw tranny

make it stop

MtF here, haven't actually gone through with anything medical, due to issues with insurance/money/other stuff. I've wanted to transition my whole life, now 20 and just getting worse.

So as I understand it if you ever end up off of hormones things start regressing, not everything, but a lot of stuff. That's really scary for me, the idea of being permanently tied to something external is really terrifying. I hate continued investments in general, but I guess it's necessary for the results I'd want.

Are there ways to prevent or at least mitigate the continued dependency? Like getting rid of balls I'm assuming has some effect? Is there any other things that can just make it so if you ever end up off hormones due to financial woes, moving somewhere totally different, or other stuff that you won't entirely regress?

Sorry, a lot of the stuff is just hard to take in from a point of not fully understanding. I'd appreciate a bit of dumbed down answers.

>>6900795
You'll have to take E pills untill the end of your life (boon is that you wont go trough menopause at age unlike other women tho).
You wont need AAs once your balls are dead, which if you take Cypro doesnt even have to mean Orchi or SRS. Otherwise you have to get one of these to get rid of your AA dependency.

>>6900353
i can't even tell all those colors apart tbqh

I've got 10~ months to kill and I'm getting electro every week now instead of every 3 weeks.
What's the best way to lose weight at home? I used to run every other day, but the frequent electrolysis means I pretty much always have awful looking, patchy facial hair.

Also, could someone post the stretches guide? I saved a copy but I can't find it now.

>>6900992

Eat less then you burn.

>>6900795
Regressing is better than never improving in the first place (and getting even worse).

There are oestrogen-releasing implants you can get that last for a long time I think.

If you have your testicles removed then being off oestrogen temporarily won't be too bad.

>>6900795

I used to think like this. But you live in modern industrialized society presumably, and barring an apocalypse or world war or getting lost in the wilderness you'll always probably have a relatively constant access to hormones. But yeah you could castrate yourself. Until we get stem cell ovaries though there is no permanent internal way to keep estrogen supplied in a biological male. I keep some hormones with me when I go out just in case I get stuck somewhere for a few days or so.

>>6893380

I'm not sure what I'm looking at, desu

>>6886159
that's kind of how it works though
if you need to "put effort" into passing (aside from say, training voice), you don't pass

>>6895659

The two don't match up. Let's match the objective physical states - thin for an anorexic person and male for a MtF transgender person.
The thin anorexic person looks in the mirror and sees a fat person (a delusion), and seeks to become thin (which they already are).
The male transgender person looks in the mirror and sees a male (reality), and seeks to become female (because they currently aren't).

The medical options for a MtF transgender person is feminising the body to meet their aspirations, and upon achieving this patients have been shown to be reliably satisfied, to where it's the standard treatment.
The medical options for an anorexic person would be... what? Make them thin to match their aspirations? But they're already thin. Make them fat to match their reflection? But that's what's distressing them.

Achieving the goal of thinness doesn't cure an anorexic person's distress. Achieving the goal of femininity generally does cure a MtF transgender person's distress.
Treating transgender people psychologically has not proven to be effective. Treating anorexic people psychologically has proven to be effective.

Body dysmorphia =/= gender dysphoria

>>6900803
How does Cypro nuke your balls to the point you don't need an Orchi?

I'm curious, it seems odd that a pill would essentially destroy one of your body parts without killing anything else.

>>6901036
I'm already doing that

>>6895672
Yeah, that definitely is an important distinction. I wonder if it is true for all anorexics.

>>6895682
>>6896238
I think the argument is the topic is not subjective/is delusional. I mean you can always reject the first premise, but it is unlikely to convince the other side.

I know... metaphors are more emotionally than logically persuasive. That doesn't mean I still don't feel bad when I read it.


>>6901261
Thank you for the thorough response. I'm not sure about all of it. I think a possible medical option for both could be to make them comfortable with the body they have. However, since that isn't available, the final part does seem like a solid response.
>Treating transgender people psychologically has not proven to be effective. Treating anorexic people psychologically has proven to be effective.

does anyone know if alma soprano diode laser is legit for laser hair removal? fair skin with darker facial hair here.

I am considering going into downtown Seattle girlmode, I don't pass and have never done girlmode in the city except on Pride (so special case), if I go at night am I in danger? I'll have this super scrawny male friend that I'll be with, but he's not intimidating at all and is no good in a scuffle.

>>6901243
By your standards cis girls with masculine characteristics who put in zero effort don't pass either then.

Is talking more softly a good start in regards to starting voice training?

Ever since I came out to my parents and have been trying girl clothes on in my free time, I feel like I'm a little less dysphoric than before. Like I can actually look at my face now and not feel completely horrible. Is that normal?

>>6902607
Granted, I'm still very shy and kind of ashamed about dressing feminine, so I don't think I'm ready to even leave my room dressed girly yet.

I need to rant. Posted a few times before. Mom and I had another argument last night.

I'm an active duty Marine, 20 years old, getting administratively separated because reasons. Nothing bad, possibly getting honorable discharge, some things just came up. Also, unrelated to the adsep, I'm transgender (mtf).
My only option at this point in time is to temporarily move back in with my mom for a few months, or I face homelessness. No friends with rooms available, not financially stable enough for an apartment yet.
My mom said if I was going to live with her I wasn't allowed to be on hrt and I had to present as male.
So a month ago I had to stand in front of my Commanding Officer while we went over the new transgender service policy for the Marine Corps. And I had to tell my CO that I was going to have to refuse a prescription for the HRT because my mom didn't want me using it.
Let me repeat that.
I had to refuse a medical prescription.
Because my mom doesn't want me using it.

Which is worse. No HRT or no house?

>>6902669
Take HRT without her knowing. In the meantime find a job so you can move out.

>>6902669
no hrt is obviously worse

>>6902607
>Is that normal?
generally you get less dysphoric as you get closer to your target body so yeah.

>>6902669
No house. You can just cut your balls off easy and say bye to test

>>6902560
Seconding this

Crawl before you can walk, etc.

>>6901933
Having someone else with you will help considerably but doesn't leave you entirely safe. I still wouldn't do it if I were you though, especially at night (less people but more danger).

Is there any particular reason you want to do it? Just to push yourself to take that step, maybe?

>>6902607
It's normal, and also the traditional narrative. Some people feel worse instead.

>>6903468
Yeah, I was afraid of trying anything for a while cuz I thought I'd feel worse. Haven't looked full body in a mirror with some of my outfits though so I probably look awful.

>>6902343
they do though
the number of cisgrils who wouldn't pass is seriously, seriously tiny.

>>6900576
I think the costco pharmacy is a bit cheaper and they are required by law to allow non-members to use it so doesn't matter if you have a membership.

>>6903468
It honestly makes me feel really at peace. Which I find kinda odd cuz it's just clothes.

Ugh. The only thing I hate about hormones is having to masturbate. It's such a chore, and I'm never in the mood. I don't know why I bother since it's not like I'm ever really gonna use it anyway. Sorry, just venting.

>>6905238
I just don't fap at all. I've been on a year and a half nofap because I just don't have the drive or desire for it anymore.

>>6905271
Yeah but then what if I end up wanting to use it again. And isn't it bad for surgery if you don't?

how do you make shaving less of a pain? I don't mean face, I lucked out on facial hair. I mean like happy trail and legs

>>6905281
>And isn't it bad for surgery if you don't?
If you keep using it, it doesn't atrophy as much. If you don't it will athrophy and your surgeon won't be very amused because of less tissue he has to work with.

>>6905341
Waxing? Either at home or in a salon.

Is there anything more to voice training than Adam Apple exercises?

>>6907094
um, actually speaking?
what?
i didnt do any adams apple exercises or any exercises at all i've just been speaking the whole time
i sound at least androgynous leaning female

>>6891226
orchi 2.5 yr in

Im less bloated feeling from spiro. Less desperate to pee. Perhaps less physically depressed. No other changes. My hormone levels are wild and im trying to fix them (like 600 estrogen 2 hours after 2 mg.. i take 1mg at a tim now)

Its really easy to tuck with a thong/gaff now though and i had dysphoria about the presence of testes so thats the upside.

Does life have any chance of getting better if I choose to not transition or take hormones?

>>6907328
Thank you!
<3

>>6907542
It gets worse

So I came out to my family (for the second time since the first I immediately noped out and suppressed everything) because I was feeling super depressed for a few days but I'm super careful to say that I'm "unsure of my gender identity" since I don't know if I'm trans or not. My mom thinks that means I 100% want to be a girl and she thinks I'm being pressured into it by friends but they're willing to let me see a therapist about stuff. All of the sudden though I'm way less depressed and don't have like any gender dysphoria any more, which makes me super nervous that I'm not trans and am getting really worked up over it and it'll negatively impact my life. To try to counteract it I figured I may just be suppressing it again since I'm scared of messing it up and not passing or something so I looked at a bunch of transition timelines on mtfg (where I've recently posted a few times with punpun images usually) and other places. Doing that just made me even MORE worried that I just am attracted to the female aesthetic and don't necessarily want to transition or anything or that it's just that I'm worried that I'm bored with life and see this as some change I could make. All of this just makes me unsure of if I want to be female and then I'm unsure if what even makes one feel like a man or woman and it circles around to being even more unsure of my gender.

So yeah I'm scared and confused about stuff and am hoping for advice if possible.
(Also fuck did this post 5 times?)

>>6905341
I shave arms legs chest belly pubes face in the shower with only some irritation on the legs. Just find an interval of time you're comfortable repeating it, maybe put some cream or something on after you get out.

>>6908334
Any tips for getting it done quicker? It takes me like an hour to do everything.

>>6908368
Break it up across two or three showers, depending how often you do them, to reduce the time. Then phase in doing more and you should have less to deal with, making it take less time.

>>6907742
what if it's just a phase, like i wanted to be an anime girl when i was like 15 but now i just want to be normal.

>>6908496
A normal girl, or a dude? They're both fine choices.

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when do the good times come

>>6908521
girl but the idea of transition seems really unnerving and i don't really want to be a tranny.

>>6908700
I get that, but there really isn't another option. Dysphoria doesn't go away. Transition won't get you 100% what you want, but it beats the hell out of not doing anything about it. Gotta move forward senpai.

>>6907811
Feeling this way too hard. Have you ever considered that you may be biologically intersexed and your parents have hidden that from you? I think about it every day...

>>6908890
I'm pretty positive that I'm biologically male. My parents would have said something to me when I came out most likely, and I feel like there probably would have been some health complications that would arise during puberty. Why do you think that you might be?

>>6908906
Oh, I see. I say fuck it, just do you. If the life you're living feels like a prison then planning your escape is a good idea. Worst that can happen is you go back to jail, right? Good point about the puberty thing...

I dunno, always felt like I wasn't the person my parents say I am, like they're hiding something. Also have a really weird mix of masculine/feminine physiological traits, depression since puberty, yadda yadda. Hopefully I'll just be diagnosed with autism.

>>6908959
The thing is I have no idea if I'm living in a prison. I hold no reservations about doing hrt and actually transitioning aside from just having no idea if I am trans or not. I wouldn't be scared but I need to be absolutely sure.

>>6908966
I mean it like the social role people around you expect you to fulfill rather than a physical one, or that you're somehow restricted from exploring how you feel

Can someone help me out with this question:
>>6908977

>>6909128
spiro but you'll pee all the time

>>6909373
I already pee all the time desu. But is spiro my best bet? I really really like bananas...

>>6909128
Cypro or spiro would both be fine. Spiro is cheaper but there can be more side effects. Also you don't have to completely stop eating potassium on spiro, it's just that you can't be eating huge amounts of it.

How would one get HRT if they're under 18 and have parents that would do everything in their power to not let them get the treatment they need?

>>6909458
>>6909128
no
bicalutamide has the least effect on erections, cypro the most

>>6910663
Would bicalutamide also feminize the rest of me less, though?

>>6911421
it is still a powerful anti-androgen, and better than spiro
anecdotally it will reduce body hair best

>>6908868
What if i don't get any dysphoria and just want to be a female?

>>6911484
Why do you want to be female?

>>6911897
Idk. I get terribly envious of them and it makes me feel like shit, i'd just want to be a female version of myself.

>>6912001
That sounds like gender dysphoria.

You should try figuring out why exactly you want to be female. I doubt it's as simple as feeling envious towards women. Also try exploring your gender identity more by presenting more feminine.

I've been on 50 mg of cypro per day for 2 years and my T level are ok, yet there has been absolutely no change in my body hair, and my libido has not gotten that much lower (it is significantly lower, but it's nowhere near being nonexsitant). Some cis-women have excess body hair because their bodies are androgen sensitive, could it be that I have a similar condition and I should increse my cypro dose?

>>6911484
>>6912001
Yooo that sounds like me. Additionally, I'd always play female characters in games and get sad that I couldn't look like that in real life. The more I thought about it though, the more I came to the conclusion that the reasons I've felt uncomfortable with my body and hated seeing my own image for the past 10 years were related to this. That's just me though. All I can tell you is to put a lot of thought into it.

Do you have any related feelings? How do you feel when you look in the mirror or see pictures of yourself? How does it make you feel that you're never really going to be female, no matter what you do?

>tfw you want to tell your friends but there's no point and you're not close, emotionally, and why would they even care

>>6877671
I'm not a fan of Elizabeth, Mackenzie, and Sarah. They are very plain names imo.

>>6912846
The fact you always played female characters in videogames isn't a tell tale sign that you would be happier living female for the rest of your life. However, experiencing dysphoria regarding your male sex characteristics is a very serious thing that can only be solved by transitioning. That is assuming your feelings aren't conflated by mental illnesses such as BDD or DID.

>>6913032
What about the part where it makes me sad that I don't get to look like a woman in real life? Anyway, it doesn't matter. It was just an example. I'm not questioning and have already started hormones.

>>6913040
That is the dysphoria I was referring to.

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how to prevent hyperkalemia when taking spironolactone and estradiol? MTF/HRT

anyone having luck with meds from inhousepharmacy/alldaychemist?
results? or duds?

>>6912846
>>6912846
>I'd always play female characters in games and get sad that I couldn't look like that in real life.
that's pretty much me, maybe i should try hormones since i feel frustrated looking at myself and the fact that i can't be female makes me feel worthless.

>>6913091
Don't eat five potatoes a day.

When should you make the social transition? Do you just wake up one day and decide that you're going to use female pronouns and that voice you've been working on(or haven't been working on) fulltime? When would that be? The day you begin HRT? 1 year in? 1 year before that?

>>6914442
When you can pass somewhat convincingly. Anything less is social suicide.

So, I uh, banded my scrotum (tucked) and penis for like 9 minutes yesterday. I didn't intend to cause permanent damage but after the 9 minutes they were nearly purple. It's been about 36 hours since and my scrotum (and to a lesser extent my penis) are still a discoloured red. So, did I fuck up hard and now I'm dying of gangrene or is this going to fade over the course of a couple of days or what?

>>6914474

No idea but keep up updated lol.

>>6914442
Personally id do it around the 6th month mark. At that point you got a lot of feminization going on and might even look good.
Many trannies here say never do it untill you can pass - but thats stupid and why many still are in the closet after 2 years... only when you transistion socially you can gauge how people percive you and more importantly, learn and practicise what being a girl means in society, theres the thing with clothes too - if noone ever sees you in these, how can you tell it fits and looks goid on you? These things are huge for passing.

I've been questioning for years and recently I've been experiencing the most crippling dysphoria about being male so I think I've got to at least try therapy.

My problem is that my job pays me shit and I live in a concentrated poor area with middle class surrounding. I live with my family and sometimes I have to use all my money for unexpected expenses. We recently got approved for foodstamps so that's a bit I may be able to save.

also I live in mid-west Florida

Are there any "guides" to go about finding help? Are there any sort of organizations that I could contact that would provide me resources for getting therapy, medication, etc. at low to no cost? I need a lot of handholding because I also have untreated anxiety issues and I still haven't come out to anyone.

Basically I'm a charity case and I need someone to make my decisions for me and I want to die.

please help thank you.

>>6914585
Find a therapist who does pay on a sliding scale.

Hey, I think I'm trans (MtF), but I act stereotypically masculine sometimes and feel awkward talking to girls at other times. I think this may be because I don't want them to realise that I'm trans. Is this normal?

Could it be something to do with repression?

>>6916443
>I act stereotypically masculine sometimes
That could be repression, or it could be that you have certain masculine behaviors naturally. But either way, you don't have to be hyper-feminine to be a girl. Tomboys exist.

>>6916452
Yeah, I guess; I'm an aspie, so that might make sense.

>>6916464
yeah, i know

i've actually thought of myself as being a tomboy ever since i began to believe myself as trans

>>6914442
my boymode failed about 3 months in
when i thought i had an acceptable voice i just went fulltime, mostly because it was much easier for me because everyone already assumed i was a girl and got the female pronouns
it was awkward going all like 'nuh uh, im noot really a girl, i just look and sound like one, hehehe"
this was at about the 6 month mark for me

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>>6914442
Almost 2 years in and I still present boymode 24/7 lol

>>6916632
What age did you start at?

>>6916658
i started at 21, but i've always been a fat fuck due to dysphoria (have healthy weight now though) and that supposedly gives you higher E levels or some shit
basically babyfaced af with zero body hair, i don't even need laser

>>6916677
are you white?

>>6916677
Oh, ok.

I'm 5 months in, and my boymode is still going strong, except for the fact that my boobs are kind of obvious if I'm not wearing a sweatshirt. :/

Is it possible to be female and essentially wish you were mtf? Is that gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or what? I don't wish I was mtf exactly but the end result is similar. I wish I was MAAB but I don't want to live as male. I feel like if I had a low voice, flat chest, smaller hips, no curves, etc I would feel more comfortable expressing myself in feminine manners.

>>6916688
yes, i am white scandinavian

>>6916706
wow
well, congrats on the passing

>>6916698
Maybe you're a femboy ftm?

You could try buying a binder and seeing how that makes you feel.
I'm mtf myself, so I don't know what options there are for ftm self-medding, but maybe you could also try a low dose of T, to make your voice and fat distribution more masculine.

How do I feminize my mannerisms and stuff?

>>6917487
watch other women

>>6917487
if it doesn't come naturally you are not trutrans and most likely an agp fetishist

>>6918678
Comments like this contribute as much to hurting confused baby trans as Cisco bulls hit does.

>>6918699
A moment while I laugh at what autocorrect did to my bitchy whinging there.

straight guy here wondering how to stimulate the prostate

i tried with fingers a few times but got nothing

any advice on voice stuff for trans girls? i pass 100% of the time if i don't speak but pretending i'm mute isn't really a viable strategy for my day to day, lmfao.

I think I might be ftm and I'm struggling a lot with deciding if I should transition.
For as long as I remember I havent felt like a girl. I can remember being about 4, playing house in preschool, I always played the dad.
My mom is a makeup artist and always pushed me to wear makeup and wear cute things and shit. Had me in girl scouts and ballet and it was always awful for me.
Not really sure where I'm going with this, not trying to get emotional and shit but I hate having a female body.
The thing is I feel like ftm is more difficult, physically, than mtf. Seems like they're pretty good at making vaginas by now, but dicks are a bit more complicated. I don't know much about it though. Plus I have a pretty feminine body, big hips and stuff. And a really soft voice. I'm tall for a girl but I'd still be kind of a manlet. I just don't think I'd ever be able to pass so I figure it's better to not try and end up in some weird place in between, and besides, I'd have to completely cut off contact with my family. I don't know, I just feel shitty all the time.

>>6918863
resonance > inflection > pitch
i like this thing
http://voice-primaryobjects.rhcloud.com/

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>>6918988
no way that's accurate

>>6919083
post your voice

>>6914474
>>6914483
Still nervously alive. Scrotum is still very red (except perineal raphe and penis which are just much darker) and I think my blood vessels may be a much more prominent and dark blue now too than they were originally. Also still hoping for reinforcement of the idea that I am not dying or I did not give myself permanent tissue damage.

Shit.

>>6920334

Can you feel the area? Is it numb at all?

You might just have like ruptured some blood vessals/bleeding under the skin/bruising.

Just in case keep circulation to the area. Don't take anything to restrict bloodflow like caffeine. Stay warm. Maybe take a bath?

Might wanna go to a doctor/the hospital desu.

>>6920334
Testicular torsion?

>>6921065
>>6921701
As far as I can tell it's literally only discolouration. Not any loss of feeling or pain or anything. I guess it could be rupturing of some vessels, but it's very even. Can't be torsion because of the no pain, plus the testes were tucked when I did it, so I doubt the spermatic cord was even touched.

Wearing female clothes makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Is that common?

>>6921832
no, it's not

>>6921832
If you mean for MtFs then yes. For most people in general no.

>>6923830
Maybe if you're AGP

>>6923962
They didn't mention anything about an erection.

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I'm almost 19 and haven't started hrt yet… with each day I get more and more masculine to the point I lose hopes for ever being passable. I do have a therapist, but they won't even give me AA without heaps of fucking tests. She even said she's personally sure I'm trans, but she justifies herself with legal issues (I live in an Eastern European all-Christian shithole, so…). I still need EEG, MMPI, a psychologist's opinion and god knows what. The appointments are only one in three months so time is ticking… I can't self-med, because they'll see that in the blood tests (my friend got her prescription delayed by a YEAR for self-medding), and also… I simply can't afford it.

Is suicide an option? I really wish I could be myself finally. But I feel it's an impossible goal. I'm lonely as hell; everyone I love live so far away from me… My family also wants me to move out before starting hormones, 'so I won't have a bad influence on my brother'. WTF. I hate everything (mostly myself) sometimes.

>>6924070
picrel, that's me :(
and captcha: deviazione calle

>>6924070
Not even hormone blockers is an option?

You already look passable if you would work on makeup, hair, and clothes.

>>6924099
Nope, it's not an option. They always either prescribe cypro+estrofem or nothing at all.

I do 'pass' quite often irl (40-50%?); this photo is kind of unflattering to be honest. But it still doesn't let me be myself. I won't risk using my real name while meeting new people and everyone I see on a daily basis calls me with my male name which I fucking detest.

>>6924070
Self-med and then stop before your blood tests maybe? Even if you can't afford very much, any antiandrogens you can afford will be worth it; taking a low dosage or going on and off them is better than nothing. You can leave out oestrogen for now if you have to.

Suicide is a bad idea when you're still feminine enough at the moment; maybe things won't work out in the future but it's not worth it when you're uncertain (especially when it just comes down to gatekeeping bullshit).

Also, the requirement for an EEG sounds like some pseudoscience. Do you know what they're even measuring with it? Is it an attempt to rule out other disorders or is it to determine if you're trans somehow?

>>6924070
You had said you mostly get gendered female! So stop being an attention whore and buy your blockers and hormones from the net before it's too late.

>>6924144
What this anon suggested is a good idea. Selfmed now, then stop one to two months before blood work (it can take a while for hormones to level).

>>6924125
>calls me with my male name which I fucking detest.
Ok we got it senpai u r TrueTrans™
now use your smartphone and buy your hormones online

>>6874050
MTF here. Is it normal to leak a clear white-ish fluid from breasts? A lot has been coming out lately.

>>6924144
Maybe… I have my next appointment in two weeks. If I won't achieve anything, I'll just buy some cypro (or maybe spiro cuz it's cheaper…) from a net pharmacy then ;-;.

My doctor said EEG is only needed to exclude a possibility that I have a brain cancer or some shit (that makes me be a girl lol). I don't know what's the fucking point of that, because if I was diagnosed with a brain cancer, I'd die soon after anyways.

>>6924189
Lol, maybe it's lactation.

>>6924189
That can be a sign of high prolactin levels, which would be dangerous.

>>6924202
hmm
>>6924213
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i dont want to die desu. It usually happens right after I eat lunch or dinner.

>>6874050

Question about MtF breast lumps.

I've been on HRT as prescribed by and endo for 3 weeks now. 2mg Estro Val 3 times a day. I've had a lump form underneath both of my nipples, both are hard otthe touch however one has grown very fast and is now 3 cm across while the other isn't even 1.

Are lumps like these common or are they possibly cancerous? Seems like it would be just my luck to get breast cancer as soon as I start trying to transition...

>>6924717
The same happened to me, I assumed it was just what happens

>>6924717
Those are breast buds

>>6924717
That's normal. Expect them to continue growing as your breasts develop further.

>>6924901
>>6924909
>>6925032

Thanks for the feedback! I was just concerned since I have very little experience with breasts.

Would being a little bit chubby help me be more curvy if i were to transition?

>>6926167
It could take years for the fat to redistribute.

>>6874050
Are some self medicating mtf europanons here?
If so, where do you buy the hormones and how much does it cost?
I don't want to wait a year for the indication...

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20 years ago:
Vivid memories of wanting to be a girl, and I can't deny that. The desire never really fades completely, but waxes and wanes.

8 years ago:
100% ready to do HRT and transition without a doubt, but deep in the closet

4 years ago:
Come out of the closet, even to parents. They're fairly supportive (surprisingly) and I'm seeing a gender therapist. Definitely want to transition, but several roadblocks (depression, anxiety) keep me from progressing in the way I'd like to. End up falling out of therapy, live life as a lonely-ass NEET and as a failed tranny.

2 years ago:
Decide it's for the best if I just get my mind off of all of this shit and get away from it all. Stop going to trans communities, stop talking about it, consider myself "just a dude" but not overcompensating with muscles or facial hair etc.

Recently:
Decided to check out /lgbt/ and see if there were still "transition or face becoming a hun in 20-30 years" echo chambers here and pro-transitioning propaganda that seems to ignore all of the downsides because "lol it worked for me"

Now I'm at a point in my life where I've seemingly lost myself and what my true identity may be.

I don't want to LARP as a girl, I don't want to pretend I AM a girl because I know I'm not, and I definitely don't want to do HRT or transition because I just plain don't see it working out for me -- and not just for physical stuff, I'm not even THINKING about whether or not I "pass" but I know that'll come up so I better mention it anyway.

So going down the HRT/Transitioning route would just be an extravagant form of role playing, essentially. It wouldn't be me, and it would be lying.

Avoiding it entirely seems to be disingenuous as well. Of course I've thought to try and figure this out in MtF communities but the propaganda and echo chamber bullshit just doesn't do it for me.

I still fear the "hun" inevitability even though it seems ludicrous, but that doesn't mean I want to transition now.

What do?

>>6924070

Just get on bicalutamide for now.

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How the fug do I shave these places? Whenever I do it I always seem to miss a place or in the case of hands and feet nothing seems to happen. And then there are places I can't see.

I made of picture of all the places I don't get.

>>6926401
Why is there hair coming out of your dick?

>>6926401
electric bikini trimmer

>>6926411
I feel like that would just end up with me having little cuts everywhere.

>>6926420
they have shielding to prevent that

Almost 3 months on HRT and about 2 months on Finasteride still losing hair and it's pretty bad now

I'm not balding, it's a receding hairline, will Minoxidil work?

I'm cautious because I hear it leads to more shedding at first so I'm wondering if I should give the Finasteride alone some more time

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>>6924070

Not even hugboxing, but you're beautiful and young and will probably look amazing when you can finally get started.
Blaire White didn't start transitioning until she was like 21 or something, and she went from being a box-nosed, square-jawed faggot to pic related in like a year and a half. You're way ahead of her on both levels.
Your very bone structure looks very feminine here, with a triangular jaw and broad brow. Even as these features set in more as you grow pre-HRT, it shouldn't do much damage when you're working with a good foundation. Count your blessings on that one and stay the course, because it'll pay off.

If all that seems to be in front of you is suicide, try literally anything else first. Change doctors, move to a different fucking country if you have to. If the only other alternative is suicide, there's nothing to stop you from trying.

>>6924045
Yeah, I'm mtf. The clothes didn't make me feel horny or anything. Just relaxed

>>6926730
T-thanks. Maybe you're right. I hate my dysphoria… I'm sometimes not even sure if what I see in the mirror is the same thing other people see. I don't even aim to look like her though, I only care about being passable; looks aren't much important for me… but if I can be so pretty, then… wow ;-;

I plan on coming out as trans (mtf) to my closest friends and my mum today. Any tips or anything?

>>6907811
Are you me? I'm very insular person, always rather depressed and I secretly hate myself but for no reason I can find I'm an excellent person. Recently masturbate every day mostly to sleep usu finishing with agp thoughts of what a female orgasm s like. Honestly I hate the sexual prosess because as male it is expected of me to be domineering. Always knew I hated my facial features to the point that I never look squarely in the mirror. Only recently realized this might be disphoria, and that fucked me up for minute. The thought of wearing skirts and presenting as female terrifies me but the thought of being on hrt and having a feminine face seems to relax this crippling anxiety. Am I just femboy or an andro mtf? I honestly don't know.

>>6924213
Why is that dangerous? As questioning agp trans I always wanted to lactate. Pituitary tumors?

I've reached the point where I've become tired of trying to convince myself that everything is fine with me and my gender.

After 5 years struggling with these thoughts I'm about to take the steps I need to take.

First step...I need to get health insurance. Recently lost my family health Insurance due to age and so I need to get my own. However I've heard a few horror stories of some insurance providers that will refuse to help pay for "Luxury Medications" like HRT.

Anywhere I can find a list of insurance providers to avoid?

How much will it cost to have my entire face lasered? How long will it take?

>>6930909
Depends on the place, in some countries it's free if you go through the official process instead of self-medding. Also the time depends on your genes mainly and you have to be on HRT for the hair not to grow back.

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>>6927490
>>6907811
Find a therapist and talk to them.

I too had this happen. I came out to my mom when I was 20 that I thought I was transgender however I made some mistakes then by choosing a a therapist that dealt with depression and not transgender issues and I ended up just talking about depression for two sessions before realizing the amount of money that was being spent by my mom on this and the possible future cost so lied to her and myself saying that it was just depression and that just by increasing my physical activity I would be fine.

Recently I had a bit of a breakdown the constant stress of these lies along with depression bordering on suicidal thoughts had be revealing the truth to my mom (again) and this time also my sister who's big into LGBT (Being an L herself)

The conclusion I've reached? If I think with any degree of seriousness that I may be Transgender I should stop lying to those who want to help me and talk with a therapist and just take that plunge. It may be nerve-wracking to think about but for me coming to that realization has left me with a clarity I've never had. Because no matter how nervous it makes me or no matter how little I want to be Transgendered I just can't continuing lying to myself that those thoughts exist.

Helps that I love wearing dresses but for you wear what you like and fuck the haters Clothes don't define your gender.

so how exactly do you know how far up sideburn hairs are compared to actual hairs? they are kind of long now and i can't figure out how far up to get rid of that shit

>>6926708
minoxidil isn't going to do anything to prevent balding but it may make you think that you've stopped losing hair. i'd recommend against for now, to allow you to make sure the fin/hrt is happening properly. there is reportedly a shedding phase when beginning fin before the hair stops falling out and maybe regrowing

>>6926399
>8 years ago:
>100% ready to do HRT and transition without a doubt,
>4 years ago:
>Come out of the closet, even to parents. They're fairly supportive (surprisingly) and I'm seeing a gender therapist. Definitely want to transition,

get on hormones before you kill yourself t b h

>>6936583
Sideburns grow to the lower middle part of the ear. You can tell by the difference in thickness and the rate at which they grow.

>>6926399
You really are a lost one.

Call this transition propaganda or whatever the fuck you want but go get your pills right fucking now before you jump off a cliff

Also hack sign is a masterpiece good taste

>home alone
>wearing girl clothes
>feel sort of better

why do i have to be mentally ill like this

>>6938328
>Be me going to dad's for a week
>be cold af
>didn't bring warmer clothes bc its summer
>dad's gf lends me some of her warmer clothes
>(we're the same size)
>clothes fit and feel way nicer
>feel better
>remember I can never wear clothes like these
>feelsbadman

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I know I don't pass, but I'm working on it. Could I get some feedback?

https://clyp.it/wfrw3xcp

I'm at a loss right now with my voice. I've been practicing for months and I don't know what sounds passable anymore. Am I speaking at the right pitch? Should I start focusing on improving my intonation/inflection? If it sounds like I'm speaking in a falsetto that may be because I've been struggling to eliminate the resonance in my chest, but I don't know what else to do.

Can anyone here recommend therapists in these areas?
>ashland, ky
>lexington, ky
>columbus, oh
>cincinatti, oh
>huntington, wv
>charleston, wv

I looked at the sites provided and found a ton of people in Lexington, but I don't have a lot of details on which ones are good, which aren't, which specialize in trans stuff, etc.

>>6938567
Try slowly easing your way into them, so long as they aren't terribly obvious that they're women's. I've been wearing women's fleece pullover jackets for years now. I used to have the men's from a company, then one day bought women's in the same color. Fits so much nicer and no one was the wiser

>>6939256
The pitch is good, but you seem to have the same problem as me that some parts just come out as whisper

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>>6939256
It does sound kind of falsetto to me. Maybe try bringing a small amount of resonance back in? That might help fill in the parts where your voice drops out, too.

>>6874050
There are so many generals and I want to get as much info as possible so I'm reposting here. Pls don't be mad~

Uhm, I want to start self medication and read the pastebins. The general info page says there are about 6 different relevant substances. ~You all know them~ progesterone finasteride dutasteride etc...
According to Regimen I only need to buy Spiro and estrofam. Is this really all I need?

>>6939256
>>6941868
Nice how can someone find street art like this?

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>>6942033

Play Pokemon GO

>>6942030
yes

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>>6942030
>>6943197
I was happy for a few hours knowing I could end this mess fast. But seems like not one damned pharmaceutical website ships to germany. Please tell me there's one.

>>6943408
Because it's illegal, there are some sites that ship but i'd recommend just going to a health centre and telling them you're trans(being straightforward and assertive will make it a lot easier as otherwise they'll just think you're depressed and send you to the wrong place.) they should guide you to a shrinker who specializes in this sort of stuff who will examine if you're able to take HRT or that this feeling isn't caused by some other illness.
Also if you're just afraid of the health centre people that they'll think you're weird i have to say that they don't give a shit, people go there with all kinds of psychosomatic diarrhea problems this is probably one of the nicer ones as they don't have to do really anything.

>>6944246
Doesn't that take a long time and require socially transitioning before they give you anything in Germany? Or are you talking about an informed consent clinic?

>>6944294
>>6944246
One year therapy a bunch of body checks and as you said socially transition.
I want to start self medicating and visiting a therapist after this. I already am squarefaced and have manly hands and shoulders. I won't let the testo botch me further.

>>6944294
time depends on how well you're able to take HRT generally it's about 6 months, if you're really worried you can self-med whilst going there it's so common that they don't care, also you don't have to start RLE immediately but it's required in order to legally change your gender, also they can't determine what's feminine and what's not so RLE in general is just a massive meme.

>>6943408
brandmedicines

next thread:

>>6946733
>>6946733
>>6946733