I've had dysphoria my whole life, and I figured out that

>>6770195
don't wait you idiot

>>6770208
It's not that I'm waiting, I'm just "stuck" if that makes any sense

>>6770226
Well while you're stuck start self medding and then see about going the official route when you get unstuck. Keep in mind most endos are garbage though and will try to turn you into a hon, hold you back, and/or have no idea what they're doing. They certainly won't care about you or your needs, unless you basically win the tranny lottery and find a good endo.

>>6770195
Honestly of you feel this way just get on hormones asap so you don't have permanent damage and decide later if you want to socially transition or be some femboy fag. Waiting is only going to make it worse later on though.

>>6770235
This. Start medding now, you don't need to ever socially transition though, IMO social transition is a retarded meme and should be viewed as entirely optional.

>>6770231
I know I should probably self med in the meantime. About 20 mins ago I was about to place my order but then I just froze up and chickened out.

I've done this stupid routine every day for the past week. It's like I just get paralyzed whenever I try to do anything related to transitioning.

God I'm really pathetic.
>>6770235
>>6770244
How do I just do it though? And what if one day I actually want to be male again or something

I'm also really terrified of what would happen if my parents found out

>>6770261
If you ever decide you want to go back to being a man you can always work out to get rid of any gyno, and if it really bothers you then just save up and get rid of the failed breast tissue altogether with surgery. Once you stop taking estrogen your body will eventually ramp up the testosterone production again. I would say read up on estrogen a lot to make sure this is what you want as it does cause changes in your brain that aren't really reversable, but at the very least get on anti-androgens that way you can pause time for a while and make a decision later when the time suits you. It's when you add estrogen that you actually have to make somewhat of a decision. Like the other anons said though never socially transition unless you're completely autistic. Pretty much everyone will lose respect for you in one way or another. You'll also have a lot of doors that were previously opened, closed now if you come out socially. Also if you're going to hide this from your parents as well, actually do a good job of it. Don't hide it under your bed or in a drawer like most stupid anons do. Find a hole in the basement no one looks in, or in an old video game case, but please dear god don't make it easy for them cause I cringe at every idiot that thinks they can hide it from their parents by putting in the bottom of a sock drawer. Best advice for that is that hide it out in the open, but in a clever way. Used to hide my weed in a candle jar with a lid I carved out, and left it on my bureau where everyone could see it. No one would suspect that you would leave drugs out in the open, so that's why it works. Eventually put my hormones in it, and 3 years later it's still a secret. Just really do your research before you go confronting people IRL, the decision shouldn't scare you as long as you're smart about it. You should probably read this too if you want to really get deep:

https://tgchatroom.com/wiki/index.php/So_You_Want_To_Be_a_T-Girl_(Chapter_1)#The_Choice

>>6770231
>turn you into a hon
What does that mean? I'm getting ready to start HRT and have an appointment with my endo next week. They're pretty trans friendly as far as I'm aware.

>>6770450
What I mean is they often use outdated methods, or go too slow, or lowball your dosages, or try to hold you back and delay things as much as possible. Maybe you'll be lucky, and of course they will seem trans-friendly, but that doesn't mean they will actually care about your feminization. Just be vigilant as to what they are doing. Demand to know your actual levels if they don't show them to you. As long as your levels are in the proper ranges (double check, don't just take their word for it), you are likely in the clear.

>>6770195
wow i could have written this post myself
same ages and everything

i completely pussied out, and i'm afraid i'll turn into a disgusting unlovable freak and never be able to turn back, i blame 4chan honestly

>>6770484
You know it's worth remembering that you're essentially saying you find yourself unlovable and that you don't want to be yourself because of that.

The "disgusting unlovable freaks" are happier than you are in your situation. Maybe they're on to something.

>>6770525
>you're essentially saying you find yourself unlovable and that you don't want to be yourself because of that
essentially yes
i don't want to be alone forever

>>6770539
nobody does

people pick up on someone who is hiding who they are and it drives them away.

As cliche as it sounds. You only live once. People are always gonna find some reason to hurt you if they want to. Which they do because people can be viscious shits. Even the ones. Even i had my moments.

You might as well do whatever makes you happy and if it upsets other people then that is their shit to deal with. Were all fucked in the head. Some are just better at hiding it than others.

Ive had so many breakdowns in my life that i just realized that you could shot your pants in a city centre and people would laugh and it would get around but worst case scenario you just move somewhere else. I plan on going to san fran and ima outgay the gayest of gays :p

Nah but seriously if it is what you want to do. Deep down then just do it and fuck everyone else. You didnt ask to be born but you were. Life was thrown at you and its up to you to deal with it the best way you can and why shouldnt you be happy?

>>6770566
The gayest of gays is the wisest of wise...es

>>6770601
Xoxo. Being sarcastic btw, i never use x lol. Whats es?

OP here, I'm going to just try go ahead and do it. I'm sick of being miserable

>>6770601
Nevermind im a retard. Only got it there.
>>6771488
Good to hear man and if your family/friends wont accept you then they arent worth looking for it from in the first place.

Although i wil add, it is probably one of the biggest decisions a person can make that will have a huge effect on life so dont get angry if they are just worried for your sake. Even i would be a bit shocked if someone close to me told me but if they were a good person id stand by them.

>>6770195
I came to terms with it at 13 and I felt this way when I had the means (T blockers at the time, not quite HRT yet) at 15. I was in an abusive friendship and was told that I'd just be ostracized and beaten, but one of my best friends to this day gave me the kick in the ass I needed to get things started. Please don't wait, your balls are a ticking time bomb and it'll only get worse. It's like going into cold water. It's scary at first, but once you get in, you'll adjust and think it was silly to worry in the first place.

Also, it's like all the other anons said. You can hide the effects of HRT until your body fits into female clothes and then you can go ahead and pass. Good luck, OP.

OP here again. I finally got drunk enough to order hormones. Now I'm just waiting for the order confirmation.
For better or for worse, I guess I'm finally starting to do this. If it doesn't work out I'll just suicide

Thanks for the advice everyone