My transitioning has been an unmitigated disaster. It's

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I also am worried I'll somehow start looking like a girl down the road even though it's very unlikely.
I am not crazy, I just don't want people to single me out as a sick faggot and beat me up. I am scared of people beating me up because I act or look slightly feminine.

>>6720081
How do you pay for food/rent as a NEET? Being a permanent shut-in is very appealing to me.

>>6720161
I have a doting parent who's probably not going to live much longer so I live under their roof atm. Most likely going to be homeless after that.

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>>6720081
Whatever damage has been done by HRT is somewhat reversible. I know being a NEET usually doesn't make you a prime candidate for hope and self confidence, but if you care enough about yourself you'll find it. You're obviously worried enough about it to ask for help on 4chan of all places, so right there shows you care about your own well being. So you're a hon, there are multiple ways you can look at this in better light. You're most likely just being too hard on yourself, but if you really feel like you need everything to be perfect to pass, just revert back to being a guy or femboy and continue taking hormones while you work hard and save money towards your happiness. Whether it's FFS, SRS, or laser hair removal, make yourself a goal and reach it. If there is something holding you back from getting a job whether it be social anxiety, or a physical disability, there's no excuse to still not work hard and have a job that helps you reach your dream. You'll be able to achieve what you want when you need it as much as you need to breath. One thing I find that helps if you really feel manly is to look at yourself as a man again. Switching back to being a femboy made me happier because I realized that I was too female to be completely male anymore. It basically helps you look at yourself with a lot less of that self criticism. The other way you described is never being able to reach that pinnacle of your masculinity again. If you get off of HRT your face will go back to normal, not overnight, but with time it will. Your boobs will eventually shrink at which point you can always work out to get rid of the puffiness, and if it really bothers you the surgery isn't really that bad as it usually averages around $6-$8k. This may seem like a lot, but think about all the stuff you've spent money

>>6720594
on in the past and how much of that money could have been put towards this surgery, and now the number seems a lot smaller. You'll start to grow body hair back, and even may get growing pains again depending on your age. If you're worried about your penis size, there are stretching devices and surgery that can help with that as well as long as you're committed to them. The biggest thing I can't stress enough about being male or female is confidence. It's something not a lot of us have, but it really does make the difference. If you choose to detransition, become a femboy, or stay trans you can still have an awesome and successful life, but you have to chose it. Whenever I go out I still get hit on by girls even though I wear capris, do my hair, am 5’9, and weigh about 120lbs. It's all how you carry yourself around people. You don't need to act like an asshole, but you need to act as if nothing bothers you. If someone looks at you weird, just look at them as if you have no idea why they're looking at you this way. I still use my dudebro voice because I’m male and I’m comfortable with it. People usually look at me and don't expect that voice to come out of me. I've never had a problem with it though because I continue conversation as usual. You need to be assertive and not back down if someone is weird towards you because of your voice and appearance. We’re all still animals at our core and can smell fear on one another. The minute you back down the other person will sense that you’re uncomfortable and that’s what makes awkward moments.

>>6720605
When you act like nothing is wrong though, they then feel weird for even possibly starting that awkward moment. You should really focus on what things are going to make you happy as a person. Does wearing nail polish on a certain day make you feel comfortable, then do it. As long as your not hurting anyone who cares if you like to style your hair or looking feminine. You shouldn’t worry about putting certain activities and traits into certain gender categories because you’ll end up driving yourself crazy. Just be happy with yourself and try not to worry so much.

>>6720594
>>6720605
>>6720611
You were going really strong until you ended on fucking 'just b urself'.

Solid advice but work on your writing friendo.

>>6720594
What made you decide to quit half way through?

It's not too late to go back. And you are right. Some people are just not physically designed for transitioning to another gender. It won't work out. You may be happier just being a more normal guy and enjoying your physical attributes for what they are, masculine.


I will just say that you are in the majority not minority. Most trannies do not pass and will never pass.

>>6720081
I feel you, OP. I'm FtM and have been having pretty similar feelings. I have hyper-feminine features and am incredibly short. Even after constantly working out since the start of my transition, I don't pass unless I keep my scraggly patchy facial hair, and even then I don't pass most of the time. I feel like I wasted so much potential and that I should have just tried to live with it, but at the same time I feel better than I ever have other than the fact that everybody looks at me like some kind of freak and the occasional violent conservative. I've been living the NEET life for a while now and it helps.

>>6723440
>and the occasional violent conservative.
arm urself

>>6720081
I sort of feel the same, even though deep down I know it wasn't realistic to not at least try transition, femboy mode is probably for the best. I'm never going to quit hormones. Seeing a bunch of aging guys in public always cures me of any of those notions. There's no reason you need to let yourself go just cause you're in boymode. Take care of your skin, hair, diet, exercise, nurture some girl hobbies, get a more womanly career. Those things help me stay somewhat functioning at least.

>>6723721
Anytime I am forced to go outside I do conceal carry, but I was not always able to.

>>6723392
Just never felt fully female. It just felt better to be somewhere in the middle.