Hi guys, I'm a 21 year old guy who's unsure of himself.

Let me clarify though. Through my childhood I never felt 'wrong' in my body, I never had the desire to put on dresses or anything like that, like most of you MtF describe. I also never felt any attraction towards guys. I always fell in love with girls, got hard when I thought about them, etc. Though that changed after my puberty. I fell in love with one last girl, but never had the desire to sleep with her. I just wanted her to recognize and love me. Sex was not a question. She broke my heart in the end and ever since then, I don't see anything in females anymore. I'd say that I'm not attracted to them anymore. Is that even possible? Maybe I'm just traumatized since my mother left me when I was a child plus that girl that broke my heart so badly seriously scarred me. I don't know.
Maybe I should add that I have no real sex drive, I mean, when I talk to my straight friends they always talk about how they'd smash this bitch, how they love giving it to them and I always try to reflect that with my sexual desires and I don't have that drive. I'd rather blow a guy then receive one, to be honest. But again, that wasn't always the case. I remember when I hit puberty how I imagined eating out several girls at once, how I got turned on by the female models in world of warcraft. Not anymore, though.
What else can I add? I always feel like I'm wrong in my body, that I should be a female. I see myself in a 'female position' when it comes to social interaction. If that even exists, I don't know.

I start to get too heady again, so I'll stop for now. But please, give me your input on how you see this matter.

>>6595505
>>6595503
If you're unsure just cut your donger off, if you regret it, you made the wrong choice.

>>6595647
After that point you'll NEVER be able to FUCK someone again. Think about that for a second.

>>6595706
Shouldn't matter if you think you might want to be a girl, you're already a complete bottom, right?

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>>6595503
Weed lmao

>I was sliding into a psychosis due to smoking too much weed.
>She broke my heart in the end and ever since then, I don't see anything in females anymore.
>how I got turned on by the female models in world of warcraft.
>I always fell in love with girls, got hard when I thought about them, etc.

We got these things in common. Which is a lot. Now what was different for me is that I tried anal really early and always liked it and that I was aware that I am transgender very early. Nonetheless I still had to find out whether transition was the step to take and whether to finally come out and what the reasons are. I did transition and I don't regret it one bit. My life improved.

Now the pushing question everyone can ask themselves are:
Do I wish I'd been born a woman?
Do I feel like as if my personality is the result of a woman being raised as a boy under influence of testosterone?
See:
>I see myself in a 'female position' when it comes to social interaction.
I would always talk with women about jewelry or makeup instead of trying to get in their pants. I felt inadequate and something was weird about me liking these topics. Had to remember my plans to transition through my psychosis. Sounds weird, is true. My psychiatrist confrims it aswell.
Do you want to grow old as a man?
Ignore your feeling that you might have to man up. That sounds like the most reasonable intuition, but it is just your brains way off procrastinating/shoving away a big decision.
Am I depressed about/because I am being a man right now?
This is what I was able to put together. If you need more talk, just ask me.