>meet guy in a game as an mtf >become friends >become

The hell is wrong with you? Finding a guy who accepts you but is more interested in a relationship than in sex is a fucking lottery win.

>>6291501
...I just don't like waiting. I've been wanting to see what it feels like and I don't want to do it with a sex toy. I want a real, breathing person fucking me.

I've had the opportunity before, multiple times, and scorned it. I had a guy inches away from entering me before saying I wasn't ready. And now it feels like it's biting me back in the ass like karma.

It just feels like retarded social imposition on something that should flow naturally.

>>6291501
On the other hand, it's completely worth it. I love him.

Just feel fucking distraught. I thought he'd make me his with his dick, in a few days, but I guess putting a finger on my ring in a few years is his notion of that.

God you're whining over nothing OP..

I'm going to just share my story so you can see how good you have it.

>Meet guy and girl in a game, am mtf but presented as normal girl online
>become friends with both of them
>spend years playing this game with them, raiding, and other games outside, getting to know their lives and sharing mine with them
>had a relationship a year ago at the point I met them, was out of it
>they weren't together though they had been, long story.
>he had went into the military to support her if he had to, but she broke up with him while he was on in the military
>I got closer to him over time, and we had the same sense of humor and the same shitty lives
>we joked we were clones of eachother but of the different gender
>we sort of acknowledged we probably wouldn't work out for reasons we never stated
>was really just a barrier to prevent us from trying to do anything, not sure from his side but from my side it was because I wasn't transitioned yet
>was happy just being his really close friend, getting to experience things I missed out on as a normal girl too
>always kinda knew him and his ex would probably get back together since they were so close and he was so attached to her
>after a couple years of this, raiding and making guilds with them in the game, we start to screw around a bit
>get kinda too close and I realize if I don't do something I'll just plain fall for him and it'll cause a divide between me and his ex
>meanwhile, IRL I'm stuck behind a barrier of 2 years of Real life experience living as a woman before they'll even start me on HRT
>decide I'll just get an easy job in Japan, hope it drowns out the pain of being something I'm not
>I try to cut off all contact while in Japan because I want to avoid transitioning because of how painful it'd be, + it's not possible to do as a foreigner in Japan
>at least not without losing your job etc
>Depression builds up, I hit a low point of "I'd be okay not waking up again ever"
>cont

>>6291561
>have problem
>move to japan
WHAT

>>6291561
>cont

>Decide to transition, but in order to do so need to return to my home.
>Quit my job as soon as contract is up, head back, go into therapy
>takes over a year to find a therapist in my area that isn't busy/sick, at least the 2 years of RLE is gone
>get my letter of recommendation
>find a doctor who does informed consent since it'd be a year just to get an HRT appointment otherwise
>meanwhile I've reconnected with him and his ex, and they got back together as I thought
>was kind of sad about it but I kind of always knew I'd be third wheel
>was just happy to be his friend
>started spending more time and more time with him again, playing games with him
>his girlfriend now was busy and also didn't play the kinds of games we liked playing together
>so just the two of us played and got close again
>realized I was falling for him and started backing off
>he noticed and asked why I'm doing that, told me it's fine he can deal with it if I get 'too close'
>am kind of happy but feel like this will be bad in the future
>a few months later, we've gotten to the point of 'too close', and I realize I reallyyy love him.
>recently found out his girlfriend is actually trans, which made 100% sense in retrospect
>so his girlfriend becomes his boyfriend technically but it's weird..
>the combination of me being too hopeful for a breakup due to this news + him adjusting to the changes of his girlfriend into a boy cause us to get too close and both admit feelings for eachother
>at this point, realize we have to tell his 'bf'.
>had told his now bf that I was trans and I'm not biologically female because we also talked occasionally after I found out he was trans.
>While the guy I likes tells his 'bf' about this weirdness, the guy I likes also notices I'm weird about something
>keeps poking me for it and realize I'd have to tell him anyway..
>cont

>>6291561
>>6291579

>.>

Am OP, caught myself in those internet love triangles before. It gets better, seriously. Your life isn't over.

>>6291569
Yeah I know, it was a weird other-thing. It was an interest I pursued with no relation to my problem and I was using it as an outlet since I could speak the language.

>>6291579
>finish

>eventually decide to tell him I'm trans.
>while trying to find the way to tell him he comes straight out and says "it's not like you're just pretending to be a girl right, cause that's the only thing that'd be weird for me I think"
>this was just after he had said he'd be my friend no matter what at this point
>Panic.exe
>tell him anyway and say I'm sorry
>cry until I fall asleep that night
>I actually felt REALLY shitty that the girl he had fallen in love with turned out to be a trans guy, and then the other girl he developed feelings for was a trans girl and he saw his bf as still a girl, which meant he didn't see me as a girl anymore.
>The idea of me being a girl thus removed itself from his mind
>"You're not a girl yet, but it's fine you will be eventually."
>I kinda just go into weird depression mode
>he has a trip that he goes to at the end of December
>I decide I'll just stop bugging him for a bit and see what happens
>It's January, I ask how his trip was and etc
>He says he just got back and is busy
>I try to talk to him the day later, get nothing
>next day nothing, we used to talk every single day almost and I stop hearing from him for almost a week.
>Decide he's annoyed with me so leave him be for another week
>one day realize he's never appearing online even though it says he has been online
>realize I'm blocked
>the games I had him on I was removed
>both of them were like that, and I tried to email them both and apologize but nothing
>idea sinks in that I'm never going to talk to either of them again after 7 years. I knew them for 7 years each.
>At least I get called cute now..

>>6291596
I actually was in another relationship for a few months, I started one in December because it was deemed an 'officially bad idea to try and date him' by all 3 of us involved, so I gave a guy a chance because he was nice, we got along and talked, but I just didn't have the same spark that took years to ignite with the guy I liked.

He just returned from visiting me where we confirmed that it just wasn't going to work for me sadly. I sometimes wish I could choose who I love but I don't think that's possible. I feel kinda crappy now because I had a bunch of guys asking me out but I have these unresolved feelings for the first guy because he never just talked to me, I was just blocked and never told why. I don't know if he did it because he was told to by his bf/gf or if I was really that insufferable.

>>6291598
This sucks and I'm sorry, and I understand why in the current climate you'd be reluctant to share such personal details, but I feel it is ultimately irresponsible to develop romantic relationships with people without telling them about your nature. Still, it is awful to lose friends like that. I'm very sorry.

>>6291613
It's fine, I kinda have been used to it since like, half of my friends I lose because I acted weird and feminine and they got incredibly uncomfortable about it. Others, I lost because I had to cut contact because I was mtf but unwilling to transition yet due to the 2 years RLE before hormones requirement which was only dropped after I returned from overseas.

I didn't want a romantic relationship desu, I was totally fine with just being his friend. I just needed time to distance myself from him time to time to manage my feelings I guess. In fact I told him that no matter what happens ever, I'd still want to be his friend even if he hated me. I'd rather be his friend if it costed anything at all, I don't want to hurt people because I know how it feels.

He said something along the same lines to me, but.. well words online are very meaningless.

I understand my faults, and wish I hadn't repressed so long and had been able to transition earlier.

>>6291626
as a side note, the 2 years Real life experience requirement before hormones wasn't actually dropped, it was reduced to 1 year but is still the 'official path of transition' in the province of alberta.

Canada makes me sad sometimes.

>>6291626
Good luck friend.

>>6291639
It hurts.

>>6291501
ahahahahaha what a fucking faggot
youre a huge fucking faggot it you listen to this cuck

sex isnt on a pedastal
sex is a required bonding experience to have with your SO
if someone doesnt want to have sex with you thats an instant switch off
you will never trust this person
you will never accept them
they are denying you on the most basic primal of levels
fucking marrying someone when you dont even know if you are compatible is probably one of the stupidiest things you could ever do
You obviously have a large sex drive and being with someone whos a beta religious cuck is only going to ruin your life and make you feel unloved.
I can already see it in the words you use where you are disheartened from some stupid simple picture thing
Wait until he says NO when youre naked and moaning in front of him.
Enjoy wanting to kill yourself and having the sanctity of your body being thrown in the trash and called worthless.

>tldr enjoy your beta cuck man

>>6291647
Wish I could do more than say this. If it helps I somewhat envy you.

>>6291649
It means a lot to me that we're sharing words, even if anonymously over who knows what distance. It just means a lot to me that you listened to me whine and bitch. Thank you.