/ftmg/ FTM General - Childhood edition

How come it's okay for cisguys to specifically want mtfs but it's bad for cisguys to want ftms?

>>6018853
literally no one has said that, ever

>>6018853
How come you act like this random double standard is agreed upon

>>6018853
because if a straight man wants an mtf, he sees her as a woman which is what she wants

if a straight man wants an ftm, he also sees him as a woman, which no one wants to deal with

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>>6018778
it was awful

>>6018778
OP, you lazy bum, link this thread in the old thread.

im a girl in your thread

>>6018853
Nobody has ever said that but ok

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>>6018958

>>6018892
What if he's gay or bi?

>>6018853
That's not true, people have called me chaser on ftmg before, but I suspect they were transtrender tumblr bois

>>6018977
then it depends on the situation but 99% of the time its fine. some guys can get creepy and treat us like exotic fetish objects but most just want a bf with a vagina, which is totally cool

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>>6018940
fine

>>6018977
i dont know anyone who would have a problem w that

>>6018996
Good man, you whiny bastard.

>>6019006
>>6018992
Hi
909 btw

>>6018853
I'm pretty confident my boyfriend is glad I'm ftm because he prefers men in every way except for the whole dick thing. He would be okay if I had a dick, but meh. He thought I was a cis guy when I met him though, so it's not like he knew I was trans or was chasing after ftm.

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so, who /transfag/ here?

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>>6019418
transman biscum reporting

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>>6019418
>being gay

how miserable

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>>6019418
https://strawpoll.me/7275752

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>>6019636
>being ftm
>not being a sex obssesed bisexual without values thirsty of sex with any gender.

straights and homos, get out.

>>6020023
This basically describes me except I love looking at vaginas and women in porn but they don't attract me in real life. I don't really look at that much gay porn but I am attracted to men so much irl. I don't know what happened or why.

>>6018761
Nowadays I can only afford to bind when I go out, so <10 hours a day, less if I can help it otherwise my ribs hurt.
>>6018796
You should do some regular voice exercises, it really helps.

What can I expect from my first appointment with my doctor?

>>6019636
>>6020023

I don't understand attraction to women at all. I see photos of supposedly attractive girls and feel nothing. IRL I don't even notice them. I mean I notice that they exist but I don't notice if they're attractive or not. I don't even have a concept of what an "attractive girl" might look like.

The idea of pleasuring a girl or having her pleasure me is about as arousing as the idea of pleasuring this bottle of soy sauce on my desk. Like, why would I even think about doing that? Men, on the other hand, I go crazy for.

>>6021623
m8 if this >>6019636 aint the hottest thing you've ever seen there is something real wrong with you

>>6021690
I didn't say that lol. Though honestly all girls are at about the same level of hotness for me. That is, zero.

>>6021690
Oh I misread your comment when I wrote >>6021697. I thought you said "if this IS the hottest thing you've ever seen." Yeah, no, I get nothing from that picture.

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>>6021697
>>6021719

that is the saddest thing i've heard today

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>>6020023
are any of you transguys into transgirls?

we could do PIV and pretend like its normal for the guy to have the vagina and the girl to have the D

>>6021767
Honestly a relationship with a MTF girl is ideal for me. I'm sexually attracted to dick, but mostly romantically/aesthetically attracted to women.

>>6021793
cool. wanna date?

I'm basically a femboi with a girl's voice and big ol' peen that im geting turned inside out in 4 months, and Im not into guys shorter than like 5'6"

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>>6021767
i saw a video like that on xtube a few months ago, it was the hottest thing ever

>>6021812
5'9 made the cutoff ;^)

>>6021812
I'm barely 5'6'' in fact I might be 5'5.5".

>>6021733
Sometimes I wonder if people are making up their attraction to women's bodies, it's so inconceivable to me. I don't understand what anyone could find hot about those pics.

This though... god damn
http://colorslashmotion.tumblr.com/image/139920005098

Now you've got me lost in gay porn tumblr. Damn you ftmgen

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>>6021827
>>6021851
yes! I am your gf now.

>>6021623
honestly, same here. however i do notice if a girl is attractive, and very rarely they have this like, almost otherworldly level of perfection that i can see the appeal of and is a bit less common in men.

>>6021926
I notice when girls have that otherworldly perfection thing too but all I get out of it is a desire to z snap. I see that perfection in men often too but I live in NYC and everyone here is gorgeous so my experience probably isn't normal.

>>6018853
They have a deep fear of not being seen as male enough in the eyes of cis guys. Espescially if the cismale considers himself straight or bi leaning straight.

But, if the ftms really are gay males, would they turn down well hung straight cis males who want to powerfuck their brains out, fuck their assholes inside out, throat fuck them and give them a hot massive load in every hole and some on their back and stomach?

Would they care if the straight guy they hung with and treated them like a bro would occasionally whip out his cock and push them on their knees or forcefully bend them over the couch or trunk of their car and pound them out till they had mutual orgasms clean up then pretend like nothing happened?

>>6021812
5'3 please let me die

>>6022117
>Would they care if the straight guy they hung with and treated them like a bro would occasionally whip out his cock and push them on their knees or forcefully bend them over the couch or trunk of their car and pound them out till they had mutual orgasms clean up then pretend like nothing happened?

the dream. ;__;

>>6021899
B)

I'm questioning, but I think if I am truly a man born in the wrong body, my consolation prize is becoming a twink. My head is ridiculously small, although I am 5 foot 7. I have no jawline and a ridiculously small nose, although my shoulders are much wider than my hips. I'm like 120lbs.
I also act like a girl, maybe? I'm not entirely sure. How do you quantify this shit? Filming myself and watching it makes me feel like committing suicide. I definitely have gender dysphoria, but i'm a spineless faggot.
Tips?

>>6022566
Get rich, get surgery, become a twink.

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>>6022117
>fuck their assholes inside out

>>6022749
It's called a pink sock anon.

>>6023014
I can safely say that I don't want that.

Safely from the other side of whatever's keeping me from that.

>>6022566
I don't get what the problem is here. Why are you filming yourself? Why do you feel the need to quantify whether your mannerisms are feminine or not? None of this has anything to do with anything.

>>6021411
Can anyone offer any insight? I'm literally on the road to go see my doctor and I'm shitting myself here. It's an almost 3 hour trip one way and I'm paying out the ass for a rental car. Kill me.

>>6022117
that sounds pretty ideal tbhon

>>6023489
Which Doctor visit? Gender specialist? Therapist? Endo? PCP? Is this a someone who knows you?

>>6022117
I want to like chasers/cis guys in general, but every one that I've met has proven me wrong.

One said that he wanted to dominate me using his "cis male strength"... like wtf, is that meant to make me feel good? I don't want to remember that I'm biologically a weak female. Just get a cis female if you want to say that kind of stuff...

I wish I could meet a guy that loves me for a male. Someone who doesn't idolize that I'm fucked up. But I guess I just mooted my own point. Chasers want trannies specifically, for whatever reason.

>>6023520
Oh it's for HRT. I'm not sure what to call that, sorry.

>>6023530
Hm, what country are you in? Have you already got a Gender Dysphoria or Gender Identity Disorder diagnosis?

>>6023551
I'm Canadian. I was seeing a therapist for a good while a few months ago and then got my letter, but here we have to wait fucking forever to see someone for hormones.

>>6023670
Okay, either you'll get your first shot, or they'll just take blood to get a baseline then have you come back for your first shot and prescription. You should expect to go over your medical history and any current medications, maybe a brief physical, get ready for scary talk about what T can and will do and if you're truly sure this is the course you want to take, different delivery methods/options (IM, SubQ, gel) and how often to administer your dose, and scheduling follow up appointment/blood draw. See if you can't get your blood work done locally and then have them send your doc the results so you don't have to make 2 trips.

>>6022141
5'1 :^)

>>6023746
I appreciate the info, anon. That's basically what I expected, but it's nice to hear it from someone who knows what they're talking about.

I've anticipated this day for as long as I can remember. It feels pretty surreal that it's actually happening.

>>6023876
hey, did you only go to one therapist to get the diagnosis? where I live you have to be diagnosed by two of them.

fuck /lgbt/ and fuck this general, is full of "transmen" who craves cock like straight women, and in fact, probably the majority of this shitty general are WOMEN, women colonizing the true struggles of transmen, fetithist who thinks that is fun fuck gay men in the ass, gay transmen and lesbian transwomen...... all of them are anormal fetishist piece of shit.

you know that is demostrate that "lesbians" (AKA as MEN born in women bodies) have MALE brain? yes, all of you, dick craves have the brain of a fucking woman, the same for trans"women" transwomen that like pussy are ALWAYS fetishist with male brain, who should not transition under any circumstance, tranks queer theory, thanks "gay liberation", spreading lies about science and reality and promoting one sexual orientation that in reality not exist, and for that reason is damaging for the body and soul.

yet, fuck all gay movement, true transsexual are just repairing our bodies and conecting our bodies with our soul, yet, a male soul always search a female soul, and viceversa.

this in our nature, homosexuality in reality don't exist, they people born in ther wrong chromosomes, and these bitches are saying that "one can be a man and gay :)" when these people have female brains... female soul, female psyche, and they are playing with their bodies because their homosexual fettish, who is immoral and don't follow natural order, fuck gay movement, fuck "bisexuality", and fuck transsexual fetishist like the ones in this general.

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>>6021861
is rarer, for what i know people can recognize when a person is attractive even independtly of the sexual orientation, straight men knows when a guy is attractive and gay men when a women is attractive, i'm bisexual but much of the "male hottiest" no awake me any sexual desires, they are handsome, but that is all, others men who in theory are "not handsome" in change i find them incredibly hot.... and with women, i'm easily attracted to women, or in general people who is feminine, i can find masculinity arousing, but must have something "special" to turn me on.

>>6024063
>le trutrans meme
>homophobic "spirituality"
>muh brain sex
>muh homosexuality is unnatural

4/10 made me reply.

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>>6024063
i'd never treat a gay ftm as a real man

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>>6024063
You really didn't read any scientific research about transsexualism, did you? :^)

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>>6024063

>>6024099
I haven't seen that image before holy shit

Top kek

>Tfw no FTM bf with anger issues to beat the shit out of you for being a bad housewife and then feel bad about what he's done, cuddling you all better even though you're still afraid and too emotionally distraught to feel completely safe in his arms.
life isn't even worth living like this desu

>>6024091
good, gay trans men and "bisexual! trans men are scum, and the more important, they are women, no men like me and you.

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>>6024105
we'll find each other one day anonette

>>6024121
>me and you

u are a fag
where do you live? you type like a punjabi

>>6024129
please be in aalborg.

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>>6024105
mtf? your height? maybe you and me made a good couple ;)

>>6024121
you are just a troll, aren't you?

>>6024136
>mtf?
yes
>your height
6'2. Kill me.

>>6024132
i live in greece you fucking faggot.

no, i'm not a fucking faggot who is just a mentally sick straight woman like yours.

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>>6024091
>>6024121
>butch lesbians trying to prove their superiority of being "true male" by shaming people with other tastes than their own
top kek

>>6024146
>6'2
Are you a she-ent?

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>>6024146
5`9 here, but i'm sure i can beat you, abused you and raped you whatever i want.

>>6024168
I'm sure you could anon. I need that in my life.

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>>6024063
ok

>>6024161
I'm a freak.

>>6024149
>butch lesbians

lmao of course
why do straight women have to infiltrate every community
don't you have a football game to pretend to like? or a cod game to play?

>>6024196
I'm sure you're a beautiful tree, m'lady

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>>6024196
amazonian grills are top shelf

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>>6024063
hope this is pasta or something/10

>>6024197
I dunno, maybe you should ask your "totally straight" girlfriend? If you even have one.
I know my life is shitty and no one wants to be with freak of nature we are (except chasers), so I'll take everything, with penis or without.

>>6024188
that enthusiasm turns me on, maybe you are gonna regret that in the future, when you are crying for help, full of tears, fears and body fluids.

>>6024225
left "him" trans men who are homophobic, or trans men who believes that they are lesbians are cancer, they internalize the worst aspect of masculinity and feminity, all because they are insecure assholes.

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>>6024225
>If you even have one

sick roast
can't believe we're middle school grads in 2 months! time flies

>>6023899
Yeah, just the one. But I saw her for about 8 months before I got my letter. I was diagnosed with GID within my first few appointments.

>>6024228
hopefully you'll push me to the point where there's no sexual appeal left and I just wanna escape

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>>6024297

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>>6024147
Quit shitposting on our board and go fix your economy luigi

I may not ever have a real dick but I'll always have something you'll never have
>pic related

>>6024319
not when bernie gets elected americlap

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>been on T for 1.5 years, pass pretty well
>get a new job
>decide to be stealth there
>find out girl I went to high school with is a manager there
>worried she's going to out me
>she immediately does
the job search continues, I guess.

>>6024386
What a fucking cunt.

>>6024386
Run anon, run away from the corrective rape

>>6024386
If you're a m on your gov'mnt forms and you do decide to work there you could totally report her for spreading private medical information to hr and hopefully get her fired.

>>6024536
She isn't his doctor. She has no obligation to keep any medical history she might know about him a secret.

>>6024543
She's a higher up at a company. If they're anywhere sort of a good (or large) company, they should care a lot because management is supposed to keep that shit private. If not they can get sued by people for if it affects getting the job at the company or another affects anon being able to get any other job at a different company who might have heard.

No it's not illegal but if the company doesn't want to get sued they need to cover their ass, and having big mouth sally as manager is not someone they want to have in that position.

>>6024386
>>6024589
This. Don't let that cunt get away with it anon.

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these threads are always good for a laugh
thanks

>>6019636
That is actually the most perfect arse I've ever seen in my life.

Survey time guys!
>>6025470
>>6025470
>>6025470

>>6025539
what are you gathering this information for my friend

>>6024063
>tranks queer theory

can this be a meme please

So my doctor wants to start me on 25mg/w of depo for the first 6 weeks. Is this normal?

>>6026559
Thats really low. Like 50 mg test per week is what my doctor started me on and i think thats pretty low compared to some other doses. It depends, if you already had higher t levels dor a female maybe its why youre on a p low dose or something.

>>6026630
I had a feeling and it's frustrating me a little bit. I can't even imagine 25mg even doing diddly fucking squat. It just seems like a huge waste of time and money.

>>6026633
Everyone responds differently to T. That's what I started on and I had high levels pre-T. After 6 weeks my doc upped it to 50mg every week. The gradual dosage increase can help with voice (no chipmunk Buck voice) and other changes, at least that was my endo's reasoning and it's seemed to work so far.

Better to up a dose gradually than have to lower it.

>>6026740
Well that makes me feel a bit better when you put it like that then. Especially when it comes to voice. My dysphoria over that is pretty bad and I did worry I'd just sound like a squeaky faggot on T, although my voice is already kind of on the lower/monotone side as it is.

How do you people cope with the fact that trans 'penises' look like those meat dolls from silent hill? I mean shit. they're so hideous. you cannot possibly have deluded yourself into thinking those fleshy abominations are attractive in any way

>>6026559
>depo
As in Depo Provera? That shit fucked me so hard

>>6026904
Not that anon but how so?

>>6026904
W-why

>>6026856
Good thing I like my pussy
:^)

>>6026904
My prescription paper just says depo-testosterone. Nothing about Provera.

>>6026996
Don't worry anon, your endo knows the correct dosage. I know it pissed me off when I realised my dose was half of everyone else's but I'm almost 2 1/2 months in and my transition is going smoothly.

>>6026856
If chicks with dicks are a thing, so are men with pussies. I think of mine as a "bonus hole".

>>6027164
In a way it certainly is nice for sex if you're with another guy and you're too lazy to prep for anal, really.

>>6027164
>>6027198
THIS.
Kinda sucks but at least it feels good.
Also the clit growth I got on T helped my bottom dysphoria a ton.

>>6026914
>>6026971

It worked fine for the first two months- third month on it I had a heavy period that lasted around a month long, constant migraines too.

I didn't want to take another dose of it after the hell month because I didn't want to risk an even longer period (the whole damn reason I took it was to stop my painful periods but I'm too pussy to come out of the closet rip)

>>6026914
>>6026971
I forgot to add I gained a bunch of weight especially in the fucking chest area

sorry to invade thread but I am an mtf that can't really go live as a girl for a while and I was wondering what I can use to hide my boobs without destroying them. I am a 36 C btw and at this point not even 2 tee shirts and a button down can hide them and I am sick of the weird looks

how do you guys date people? do you have to be out to date people? i pass so i just don't tell people i'm trans and no one knows except my family and the few friends i had in middle school. i've dated girls and gone out with them but whenever things get more physical i shy away because i don't want to be outted.

>>6027267
Double up on sports bras or get a gc2b binder

>>6027297
neither of those solutions look fun
what have i done to myself ugh, so do binders hurt?

>>6027304
Gc2b binders actually are one of the brands of binders that aren't incredibly tight and restrictive (underworks is however)

>>6027313
would it show under a tee shirt? basically I haven't been able to wear a normal tee shirt without a button down in a whole year now.

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>>6024063
>women colonizing the true struggles of transmen
>tranks queer theory
>true transsexual are just repairing our bodies and conecting our bodies with our soul
you're killing me anon

also wow I can't believe I'm about to have to abandon my fucking email address to get my own mother to stop harassing me

>>6027317
Just avoid low cut v-necks and you should be golden.

>>6027326
oh I would never dare wear a v neck in guy mode anyway

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>an mtf wanting to wear a binder

>>6027336
Get over yourself dude, it's not like the MtF wants to wear one for the fun of it, she has to be in boymode and hide her titties

>>6027341
Maybe "she" should stop being a pussy and go girlmode 24/7

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>>6024136
Hey cool tattoo we should hang out

>>6024136
wow youre cute anon

>>6023527
Id like to meet someone like you, and never have the conversation ever come up at all. Its odd when people see the need to release needless information.

>>6027324
You could redirect her shit straight to trash.

I think with gmail at least you can filter more than just the address. You can make a neat little net of commonly used words.

>>6027487
Y-you too, desu. I just want to be treated as a guy, end of story. I guess "a guy with a vagina" sometimes, on the days I'm not dysphoric about it.

It would feel great to have someone on the same wavelength, as a partner, or even just a friend. ;_;

I like dating transgirls actually, just because... well, I like girls and I want people to understand instantly and have it over with. I've never dated another FTM, but have been bros with one.

>>6027390
>>6027474
she is just a random transbian for tumblr.... i'm ftm bisexual, sooo... no, i don't know this person of anythin, anyway here's is her blog.

http://bloodcountessabendroth.tumblr.com/tagged/transbian

>>6027663
>tfw saw this post on my way to /mtfg/ for my daily dose of autism

most transgirls are way more of a disgusting unstable mess than any of the boys here, the contrast between our two generals is ab-so-lute-ly nutso.

>>6027738
Maybe I've just been lucky? I have seen that mtfg is chaos, but all of my gfs in the past have been pretty nice. They're usually unstable/very emotional, but I don't blame them for that. Makes sense when there's so much shit in your head.

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>>6027676
I'd fuck that. Too bad she is transbian, she should totally impale herself on my non-existent cock. Oh bother.

>>6027283
you can't live your entire life without ever telling a soul about your transition, unfortunately. no matter how hard you try to be stealth, it IS going to come up every once in awhile: and one of the places where it comes up is dating.

i live stealth but when it comes to dating i'm open and disclose on all my profiles on sites and apps. i make sure before i meet anyone that they understand that i'm trans and what that means. i haven't dated anyone i met IRL since transitioning but if i did i would tell them on the first date. it's irresponsible not to disclose early AND it's detrimental to you in the long run.

idk if you live in a small town and everyone knows each other or are still in high school or something (in which case you should just take care to pick good people to date/disclose to), but this is one of those things you just have to get over.

>>6026856
we don't
we kill ourselves instead

>>6027748
idk, i feel pretty well adjusted considering the circumstances, but i wouldn't consider myself stable by any means. we're all hot messes in our own ways, imo.

in a way i think it's a good idea for mtf to date ftm, since there's that level of understanding, but on the other hand it's a fucking awful idea for so many reasons.

>>6028181
yeah i dated an mtf and aside from her being crazy it worked out pretty well

>>6026986
m-maybe I like it too...
Pic?

>>6027253
Well, damn, that sucks. I took that shit for a while because of painful periods too. Was hell and didn't even last a week. After four or five days my hormones were apparently all over the place because I was irritated as fuck and crying over nothing (literally, I wasn't even thinking about anything in a lot of cases) every five minutes. Ended up with me crying all night, then falling asleep at some point, waking up again and crying more. So I ripped it off and the "mild side effects" went away within two days. I ended up with 2 weeks of heavy bleeding though. Pretty sure it fucked up something since I never used to be moody before I used it and now I often am even though I'm obviously not using it.

>>6027021
Dunno man. A lot of guys where I live have like half the amount of testosterone that's normal, they're even getting pretty bad side effects and some even start looking more female, and the endo tells them everything's fine and refuses to change their dosage, even when they know 100% sure it's from that and not other health issues

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/ftmg/

I need your help.

First time visitor and poster here. I'm a total top bi dude, though I've not had experience with women before as I've had very little interest from them. I've recently met one (online) who's yet to transition. I care about them a lot and was, up until recently, in full belief that they were male (they knew what I looked like by not vice versa). Does /ftmg/ mind giving me the basics?

How can I be supportive of their transition?

I'm kind of stuck for questions, and more or less just wondering if anyone minds sharing tips and advice with me. Thinking about pre-HRT and pre-op, etc., would you be okay dating someone? I'm very romantic and affectionate and want to be buff. I'm 6'1" and they're 5'4" (if I remember rightly).

Any advice would be appreciated.

>>6028451
Not quite sure if you're referring to a trans woman or trans man there. If they were assigned male at birth and want to/are/have transitioned to female, they're MTF and you're posting in the wrong place.

>>6028471

Sorry. It's a girl transitioning into a guy.
It's an FtM. I wrongly presumed that it would just be implied by posting here.

>>6028451
using male pronouns is a good start, in fact try and stop thinking of him as a girl turning into a guy but just an unusual guy

apart from that really, the best person to ask is him. he'll know his individual needs better than we will since these things will vary from person to person

>>6028487
Well, it would be assumed, but the way you phrased it made it sound like it was the opposite. In that case, a good start would be to not refer to him, treat him or see him as a woman and try to be accepting of any transitioning he plans to do, whether that contains hormones and surgeries or not. My bf (whom I met before coming out) sometimes complains about the effects hormones will bring and that the surgeries look bad and to be honest it just makes both of us feel bad.

>>6028500

I always thought of him as a guy prior to him telling me that he's trans (ftm) and he was really worried about telling me because he's known people to take offence or be disgusted but I genuinely have no issue with it whatever and told him that. It doesn't bother me, and I just want him to be happy because I care about his well-being.

Thanks for the help anon.

>>6028505

It's going to sound bizarre, but because he's pre-HRT and pre-op (considers himself masculine in behaviour but less so in appearance), is it okay for me to ask about the transition, or is this too sensitive? I'm completely fine with any plans to transition, and I'd wholly support him doing it if that's what he wanted to do.

From what I've seen on /lgbt/ from brief reading, is that hormones do have quite an impact on mood and behaviour, but I like this dude and I'm willing to put the effort in and be supportive because I care and want the best for them. Surgery seems like a long distance away from now, and so I'm not too fussed (probably because I'm bi, but sexual stuff isn't on my mind at this point).

Thanks anon. I appreciate the tips.

>>6028548
That probably depends on the person. Obviously asking a stranger if they've had "the surgery" is a bad idea. But if you're in a more intimate relationship, or planning to be, it should be fine to ask. That being said, it's probably best to add something along the lines of "if you don't want to answer, don't," if you want to be really safe. But that's just a general thing to do when asking people about stuff they might not want to disclose.

Hormones shouldn't have an impact on personality. A lot of trans guys are suddenly more outgoing, talk to people, less shy etc, but I think those cases are only because they're finally on hormones and feel better about themselves because they start passing better. I tend to be very quiet among friends and especially people I don't know because I fear my voice will out me. As a result, I probably seem very introverted and shy with a lot of people. About the mood changes, it's likely he'd be more emotionally stable and all, but if he easily becomes angry (and didn't before hormones) it's a sign of too much testosterone.

>>6028405
Oh yeah, my hormones were the most out of control they had ever been, but that's mild compared to bleeding for around a month and getting big tits
depo
not
even
once
Now I've gotten cluster headaches and chronic migraines which I never had since before taking the shot
My mom kept telling me "it'll get better when you take another dose" but fuck that senpai

>>6028679
Oops, looks like I mixed up depo and the patch things. I'm not the anon who bled for a month and got big tits, though now that i think about it, mine got a bit bigger too during that time. I was just saying what my experience was with birth control. Also, I don't know about depo, but with the patch, if you get headaches, you should stop using it immediately because it could be a clot. There were clot warnings all over the package. I assume it'd be similar for other types of birth control too since most of them have approximately the same stuff in there.

Is it normal to get very emotional when talking about dysphoria? I don't think it was ever all that bad, yet when I try to write it all down, I feel wetness in my eyes and it gets hard to continue writing. Anyone else have this?

>>6029164
I just laugh and then get a urgent need to blow my brains out

>>6029164
yeah, i never got all that emotional (atleast not outwardly so) even during periods where my dysphoria was bad, but when i'd have to talk about it with my therapist I'd get pretty choked up.

>>6028693
Yeah, the patches make your tits bigger. I was on them due to nasty ovarian cysts and they swelled from a B edging on C to a DD. I'm gonna need top surgery either way from back pain on top of a hysterectomy thanks to the lazy docs ignoring my please of "I don't want kids, just cut me already!" thinking that just because I looked female I didn't know what I wanted.

Sometimes the docs really don't know best. I wish i trusted my gut instead of the doctors, family, teachers and pretty much the rest of the human race. FML.

>>6027886
thank you for your response, anon.
>it's irresponsible not to disclose early AND it's detrimental to you in the long run
how though?
and what about friends? are you supposed to tell your friends or does that not matter so much?

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waiting for the results of my first blood draw since starting T. what if they come back showing I've suddenly developed high cholesterol, my liver's failing, ??? I keep thinking something's going to come up that will force me to stop T and not get top surgery...my mom would be so happy, she'd fucking love that if my "decision to be trans" blew up in my face

she sent me yet another email about what a horrible monster I am earlier. she's bravely standing up to me and refusing to "drink the kool aid" that's being pushed by this "transactivism movement" (lolwut, I'm not and never have been involved in any trans-related activism, politics, community, or anything beyond posting on /lgbt/) that's gotten hold of me and convinced me to do all of these awful things to torture her. yep, shredding me to pieces, attacking me in the most personal and hurtful ways she can come up with, and foaming at the mouth about my "sex change" is somehow supposed to convince me to change my mind about everything in life and drive me back into her arms...mmkay

I miss her cats. they deserve a less spiteful owner.

>>6030154
Steal her cats and never speak with her again. Also consider making another email account, marking her account as spam works but it still might be better to not be able to read the shit she's sending if it's just going to bring you down.

>>6028652

Thanks a lot anon. I really appreciate this.

>>6030154
your bloods are probably fine family

it's a sad truth that the closer someone was to you pre-transition the more likely they are to feel like they hold some kind of ownership over who they think you're supposed to be, parents are often the worst for this

i've seen this situation repeated time over time and in the end the best thing you can do is live your life the way you know you have to, keep the dissenters at arm's length until they work out for themselves whether they're gonna be on your side or not

we're all gonna make it lads

>>6030154
don't worry, you'll be fine senpai

>>6030132
>how though?
because you don't want to get yourself into a situation where you're emotionally attached to someone and then they ditch you when you disclose.

>and what about friends?
i don't tell friends unless we become very close and i feel comfortable disclosing. in my opinion, my friends have no reason to need to know i'm trans. it has absolutely zero impact on our relationship whether i'm a cis guy or a trans guy: i'm just a guy and that's all they need to know. the only reason i tell partners is because of the sex thing.

it's up to everyone to determine what their boundaries are individually but imo you don't owe anybody but your sex partners an explanation of your status.

Do you guys think it's common among trans men to have low self-confidence pre-T?

>>6033249
That's completely normal

>>6033249
Of course, dysphoria causes all kinds of shit like depression, low self-confidence, etc.

>>6033249
Yeah
My self confidence is like -20 and I'm pre-t

>>6033282
>>6033283
>>6033287
Good to know I'm not just insane then.

>be me, still pre-everything
>wears masculine clothes, short hair, tries to flatten chest
>reading about dysphoria, browsing for binders, researching hrt, ect
>still have intruding thoughts of "wtf am i doing!? no! stop!"
>try to be as ultra feminine as possible because the realization that im trans is terrifying
>dysphoria gets worse
>stop and go back to trying to be a normal man
>feel a little better
>cycle repeats

Is this a normal thing to go through? Did anyone else have these thoughts when you guys first started out?

It's like there's still a part of my brain that equates what I'm doing as "wrong" somehow and I really don't like it. How do I deal with this?

>>6029164
Ayy anon I'll make you wet bb

>>6034083
how is it possible that i know you are a dyke through text

>>6034034
Just keep living and it'll become the norm. I used to feel weird wearing mens clothes partly because it was new also because I didn't pass and I felt bad about that. Still every once and awhile when I get really stressed out I get the urge to just fuck everything and just go back to being a pretty girl where everything's easy and random people will just take care of me. I just have to tell myself to get over it mostly because I know that's not what I really want, also now I've been on t so long I can't go back to being a attractive girl lol.

>>6034323
Thanks, anon. I guess it gets to me sometimes. It's hard to shake those inner criticisms of what should be expected of me. Whether it's as a man or a woman.

And, as you said, it doesn't help when you can't pass. My weight issues and huge chesticles make binding impossible. (On the upside, I can try to pull off manboobs but that's fooled no one so far lol.) So I know that feel too.

>>6034453
Could be your face, clothes or mannerisms that give it away. That being said, you shouldn't beat yourself up about that endless cycle. I'm sort of in it too, and I know other people who went or are going through it. I guess it's normal, which is to be expected since it's a big change and transitioning takes a lot of time and effort and what not.

>>6034115
Except I'm cis gay and want to dick some boypucci
You're bad at guessing people through text, fuccboi

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>>6034034
I'm in similar situation, but instead of trying to be feminine I play video games until I forget who I am, then I feel better, then reality hits me hard again. The thing is it's absolutely logical and sane behaviour to have doubts and analyse this problem over and over again, because transsexualism seems irrational in its nature - you feel male in spite of having female body, and you have to try to understand those feelings. It's not a broken leg you see and think "oh boy, I have to go to the doctor", instead we're kinda broken inside, with our brains confused by inadequate voice, weird bodies and wrong hormones running in our blood. Then we look in the mirror and feel disgusted by ourselves, but the objective side of our brain tells us "I dunno, I don't see any wounds, any bruises, it seems like a regular girl to me" and we start to have doubts in spite of our symptoms.
But the thing is the dissonance between our minds and bodies is real, so it's either our bodies that are wrong, or our feelings, so without any evidence of our bodies being sick we try to repress the feelings, the existence of dissonance itself. The fact that being transsexual is still stigmatized in our society - because of irrational nature of the problem, because of the lack of convincing evidence (you can't point the lump in your brain and say "See? It's why I'm transsexual.") and because of "radical and permanent" treatment that disturbs regular people and makes them question their sexuality and gender identity - doesn't help us either. Moreover, when regular people starts question their sexuality and gender identity after meeting one of us is usually unpleasant in consequences - they only see the result, while they don't realize the very nature of this issue, hence chasers and snowflake identities appears, not to mention the hate (because how we dare to be different and make them question themselves). In the result transition is perceived as fetish, fashion or political statement.

>>6034558
>>6034034

So as a moral of the story - it's hard to be transsexual, there is a reason why a lot of us commit suicide, but we have to overcome this never-ending cycle of repression and self-hate to end this permanently. There's no obstacles we can't overcome, and maybe we can change something in our world to make this shitty place called the world a little bit better place for future generation, not SJW style, but by promoting sanity in this insane matter. It's absolutely sane to have doubts, but the sane solution to our problem is to transition before we fall into madness and eternal hondom, so we could show - by example - we are just regular guys able to lead good life.

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>>6034453
>I have started calling my boobs 'big bara titties' when I monologue to myself in my head and it secretly makes me feel better about having boobs.

>>6034622
That's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. Get a fucking job so you can pay for surgery, or go back to being a girl.

Non-ops are delusional cunts with too many drugs in their bloodstream.

>>6034749
Dammit anon, that's not enough bait.

>>6034558
Wow, not him but that actually makes a lot of sense. I think it explains the endless cycle of doubt > acceptance > more doubt better than anything I've read before. Thanks anon.

>>6034563
>>6034558
Can someone screen cap these posts for posterity?

Thank you, anon, for putting things so well.

Does anyone know if surgeons can exvert nipples the same time the same time as the masectomy, mine are super inverted like I've literally never seen the tip of the nip, inverted. But is it too much stress on the nipple reshaping the it + whatever they do to un-invert it?

Been trying to find more info on this but can't find any in relationship with ftm top surgery suprisingly.

>>6035195
As well as soliciting experience reports from the community, you probably ought to ask the surgeon(s) directly about how they would go about it.

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>binding making me really uncomfortable lately
>last shift for the week and it's super short, so I figure I'll just rough it out for the few hours
>someone ends up calling in
>only one who can cover
>reluctantly take it and have to stay there almost the entire day
>get home
>chest tight as all fuck and burning; breaths short
>tear it off myself and never feel more relief in my life
Please someone just take a katana and slash these things off of me already. I can't take much more of this.

>>6035609
Binder is too tight, get a larger one before you hurt yourself

>>6035639
It's only been the past few days and I'm thinking it's because shark week is coming (it's pretty irregular for me). I always fucking bloat like crazy like a week before it. I know I haven't just gained weight because I barely fucking eat as it is.

I just felt like complaining after the past few days I've had. Sorry, anon.

>>6035651
>shark week
Do they still have that? I haven't watched TV in a while.

Complain all you want, its the internet

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>>6035664
shark tank?

>>6035767
Plays a bunch of shark themed TV shows and movies for a week

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>>6035781
oh thought you were talking about shark tank

>>6029164
Yeah, it's a huge detriment to trying to explain this to my s/o, I just get very anxious and shut down completely. Need to practice not freaking out so I can get on hormones, though.

>>6023527
Cis guys like that do exist, we're just rare. Growing up in San Francisco you get exposed to alternative genders and sexualities early on

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>>6035136
>>6035179

Thanks, I was wondering if I should post it, because I don't like to be that fool that thinks the stuff he says is wise, but writing this post helped me as well, and if it helped anybody I'm glad I did it.

>>6036872
>hon is a universal all-encompassing term

the more you know

>>6028451
come be my boyfriend actually

i heard this was the place to get a ftm bf?? im kinda cute i swear ._.;;

>>6037709
post your before pics and we'll see

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>>6037718
why would i post my before pics anon?

>>6037748
because majority of us are gay bois, anon. show me them muscles

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>>6037789
b-but im a girl now ;_;

>>6037822
>if I could turn back time

>>6037822
Would make sweet gay boy love to the one on the left. As a girl, I'm not so sure I'd hit it sorry anon, but you seem pretty chill desu.

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>>6030271
>>6030392
>>6030662
sorry, only just checked back here, thanks for the reassurance, but
>too high red blood cell distribution width (19% instead of 11.5% - 15% "normal range")
>too high alkaline phosphatase (136 U/L instead of 42 - 98 U/L) which apparently probably has to do with my liver
>at least I'm not anemic anymore and a bunch of other stuff that used to be shitty is better
well, it looks like my red blood cells are exploding and my liver is crying. might as well go steal my mom's cats now and live it up while I still can.

seriously though, I don't know how bad those results are or if they're even from being on T (haven't talked to my doctor yet), but I'd rather fuck up my health with HRT than live how I was before, which was miserable and I was destroying my body in a bunch of other ways. I figure if I live long enough, I'm going to end up getting cancer anyway, and I'd rather not die of cancer, so something else can go ahead and kill me first. please.

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>>6037789
>>6038094
U guys okay with femboys?
Promise I won't go MtF on you.

>>6038172
Do you drink and are you on any other medication that taxes your liver? Also, have your reference ranges switched to male yet?

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>>6021812
how romantic>>6021793

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>>6038192
I don't drink at all, but I'm on a lot of medications (thanks, defective body) and wouldn't be surprised if they were killing my liver. and yeah, if the reference ranges that are showing up are sex-specific, they have me listed as female. oh well. sent a message to my doctor asking how bad she thinks it all is. now back to trying to immerse myself in work and escapism to avoid having to think about my own mortality

>>6037822
I think you're pretty cute as grill

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>>6038176
>femboys

step aside faggots this one is mine

>>6038432
?

>>6038172
>>6038261

firstly, normal male ranges are higher than female ranges for just about everything. your numbers don't really mean anything if you're being held against standards for bodies running on estrogen.

secondly, just some quick googling tells me that high red blood cell distribution width is a common characteristic of anemia. you may have ALWAYS had high RDW levels, anon. it seems unlikely from my very cursive googling that it's the result of T – it seems more common for that to be the result of a vitamin B or iron deficiency.

thirdly, even IF any of the above are actually caused by T, you could always just lower your dose.

tldr: you have absolutely zero reason to freak out until you discuss things with your doctor. take a chill pill.

>>6038462
whats the problem femboy

>>6024136
You're cute! Maybe a bit too religious for me. Cool cross of St. Peter though, what brought you to Christianity?

>>6038623
u srs

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When does a dream become a nightmare? In my defense, I was drunk & high ATT

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>>6038398
be m-my bf?

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>>6038760
do you like biscum manlets because if so then yes i am the right guy for you

I ship it

>>6037822
Don't listen to those homos, you were cute then and are also very cute now.

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>>6038801
no she likes 5'9 straight alphaftms
better luck nxt time

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>>6038882
y-you're 5'9"?

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>>6038801
>liking Kara
>not best boy Totty

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>>6038922
i just used karamatsu because he was fitting
i'm a tottyfag for life
>tfw you will never violate totty's ass bc he's not real

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>>6038937
>>tfw you will never violate totty's ass bc he's not real

;_;

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>>6038909
says so on my license senpai

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>>6038985
i-i'm only 5'7" so we would look like a normal c-couple

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Fix me please
I look like some kid yelling at you on COD saying imma fuck your mom

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>>6038973
>>6038922
>2nd worst matsu

>not catboy masterrace

>>6038997
get a haircut

rest is fine

>>6039013
planning on it when Im not lazy. maybe today.

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>>6038991
pls b in nyc

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>>6039009
an ichi is fine too

>>6038997
are you on t ?

>>6039027
not yet, but I think Im getting a bit of a mustache for whatever reason. maybe its the soda.

>>6038997
Lose weight then see how you look

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>>6039020
im upstate

>>6039044
Im afraid if I loose anymore weight, I will be labeled anorexic by the doctor again. Is there a secret way to lose weight only in my face?

>>6039063
Chew gum to work your jaw muscles? That's all I could think of.

>>6039098
Im not sure that will work but its worth a try I guess. Thank you for your suggestion.

>>6038882
post noodles

>>6039125
No problem, I used to do it myself. There are probably other face exercises out there too that'll have some effect but it's not really something I've looked into.

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>>6039051
on my way desu

>>6039163
why so lewd anonette

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>>6039009
>liking the tableshitter

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>>6039193
>that pic
p-pls hurry

>>6039193
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

>>6039193
R u ftm? Please let me suckle on your big clit.
>inb4 chaser im also ftm

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>>6038584
So I take it that's a yes?
>>6038882
>5'9
So are a lot of you at average man height or something? That's funny, I thought I'd get the chance to be the taller one.

oh man, I got lightning marks on my sides and im below average weight, feelsbadman

>>6039663
Lightning marks?

>>6039784
stretch marks, sorry

>>6039620
>So are a lot of you at average man height or something

nah, most of us are 5'5 and below i'd assume

>>6039125
don't do this, it's a one-way ticket to a jaw disorder

>>6039818
>stretch marks
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
i feel your pain though

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>>6039966

>>6040137
rub cocoa butter on it to reduce the stretch marks senpai
it works really well plus cocoa butter smells good too

random comment, im feeling really depressed lately with the limited surgery options, and just not having a real working dick. when i see my gfs dick (shes mtf) i get jealous, and the fact that shes happy with it also makes me really jealous. i cant fap without feeling extremely bad, and it hurts too. i cant put stuff in, so the only way i can orgasm is by sort of rubbing myself. i feel weird. im not happy with what i have, but on top of that i cant properly enjoy what i have either. probably related to each other. i want to go for simple meta surgery, because i do really enjoy sex, aside from my breakdowns now and then, or the sudden loss of arousal because i think about how i'd just like to have a dick too. i dont know. i just feel like i'd never be happy with any surgery i got, and that i should just kill myself. anyone can relate?

>>6040339
Yep, I relate. I have a cis boyfriend (who's incredibly aware on this stuff, which helps) and I often get so jealous of him. I try not to be toxic at all, but I find myself being extremely bitter. I sometimes almost start fights just for the sake of having a real excuse to yell at him, but I manage to control it.

It's a gross feeling, in more ways than one. Both because I know I'm an asshole for projecting such feelings onto an understanding partner, and the physical stuff.

When I try to get off, I feel... I don't know, pathetic? I guess it's similar to how cis guys with micropenises feel. I just feel so inadequate and disgusting and pathetic for trying to get pleasure from something so fundamentally wrong. I feel like I shouldn't be touching a gross tiny barely-hard thing, and that I should be rubbing something a lot larger with my whole hand. It all feels so disconnected and it's terrible.

I know I'm just blog posting but I've wanted to talk about this for a while, so I hope I made you feel less alien at the same time. Good luck, brother.

>>6040445
Oh, that's good that he's aware, but I don't want to make her feel limited or make her think i'm pathetic for saying 'hey can you put your pants on or some underwear' or something. It's not fair, if she's happy then she should do it, and I should stop being a crybaby I guess. But it's different everyone, i'm not judging how you handle it since I know how you feel though.

And yes, pathetic. Especially when you do hve an orgasm, and you just get sad, like, ew? wtf did I just do? fucking gross.

What are you going to do when it comes to surgery and dysphoria if I may ask? any plans? are you on T yet? thanks for answering, it did make me feel a bit better.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/807430

>>6040482
I don't know, man. I'm pre-anything. Pretty happy with my face, not at all happy with my extremely wide female-looking pelvis, large breasts, tiny waist, the fact that my vagina exists, etc. I work out semi-regularly to gain some muscle, but I tend to get bitter that cis men would get twice my gains thanks to their T. I still try to work hard anyway, but it feels hopeless a lot of the time.

I have no idea about surgery. I guess top surgery. I don't like the idea of phallo, just because I'm a pessimist and can only imagine that I'd be one of the guys where it goes horribly wrong... and I also don't want to lose the "option" of sensation, even though I'll also bitch about sex stuff, lol.

Not out to anyone but my boyfriend, who somehow manages to see me as fully male despite being pre-anything. I really appreciate that and I can tell it's not fake. Idk what I'm going to do in the future. The idea of transitioning is terrifyingly daunting.

I just have the biggest, most intense wish that I was just born a male in the first place. It hurts so bad that I'm wishing for something that had one chance to happen - and it didn't.

I guess I have to get off of my ass and change the way things are now if I want to even try to be happy, so I'll think more about my options soon. I'm honestly waiting to see if this is a phase or something. I hope it is, but I'm sure it isn't.

I'm going to bed now anon, so I probably won't reply again. Try to hang in there and explore your options and think about suicide realistically. I'm not an extremist that says "Don't kill urself there's so much to live for!", but consider that it's either a life with a lot of shitty ups and downs, or nothing at all, and probably nothing ever again. I don't like the idea of suicide because I still somehow prefer feeling bad all the time over everything being done with.

Stay safe. Wishing you the best. Goodnight.

>>6035609
Whenever I read shit like this I feel so glad I am naturally flat as an actual cis man and never had the need to even wear anything under my t-shirts. I can't give much advice because I've never dealt with binder problems, but a friend of mine has massive breasts (so big she'll need to undergo reductive surgery to relieve her backbone from the weight) and she once told me that exercising certain muscles in the area under the armpit and around the boob made her tits a bit smaller. It's worth a try if you want to squeeze less in the spandex death cage

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>>6040485
Well, this is terrifying. I'm 20 right now :')

>>6040716
bullshit i just turned 19 and my test is higher than ever

>>6040593
That's really sad to hear, I have around A cup, no cleavage at all, and when I lay down i'm flat-ish. Just small bumps.. I remember when I was 14, I was changing in the girls room, and everyone laughed because I had literally NO boobs. Just a flat chest. I prayed to have boobs so I would fit in, fucking r.i.p,
Good you work out though, it's hard to find motivation for that kind of stuff, I've done some thai boxing, weighlifting, and some other exercises, but would always stop after a few days. (3, lol) So that's really good! Same thing for your boyfriend accepting you and seeing you as fully male, it's good to know he's for real too.

About getting off your ass and doing shit, yes, i'm afraid I might have to join you in that lol. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to sign up for gender therapy (hormones etc), AGAIN. I was on the list for almost 2 years, when they called my phone to say I could start hormones, my mom answered and said I didn't need them anymore. I inquired them about the issue, and they said 'we might be able to let you wait a bit less, but usually its a year'
g fucking g motherfucker.

I don't think you should wait and see, it's what I did for a bit, and even for a bit, it felt like too long. I wish I could've started earlier and not wasted time being who I wasn't, even if it is, you can always sign off while waiting for hormones, no harm in already signing up and talking about your feelings, I think..

And yes, that's true, like my gf said, by killing yourself you eliminate the possibility of there being a good day, or a change, or something. Which is true. You can't really know if stuff will stay bad either. Ofcourse we feel depressed because we got a vagina, and it's unfair, and we won't get a 'real' working one, but like she told me, they're already doing transplants on wounded soldiers, so maybe they'd make it available to transgender people within a few years. I'm sure we can survive that, haha.

Thank you for the advice dude.

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>>6040932
>I was on the list for almost 2 years, when they called my phone to say I could start hormones, my mom answered and said I didn't need them anymore.

Holy shit fuck your mum I'm blowing a gasket over here

Fuck the doctor's too for going Kafka on you. It might help to nag them more since it wasn't even you who cancelled.

>>6041019
I don't know what happened there with my pic, but I'll take it.

>>6041038
Omg im kakking myself because of the pic. But yeah I will for sure tomorrow, i'll post results here if the thingy is still here.

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>>6038516
thank you...I just saw also that my RBW was 17.6% right before I started T, so 19% isn't that much higher. a test from a long time ago had it at 12.4%, though, so I have no idea what changed then (before I started T)

and I'm pretty sure the elevated alkaline phosphatase is from other meds I'm on, now that I look at it, but I'm going to pretend it's because of bone growth. I'm going to have a miraculous growth spurt in my late 20s and end up like 6'2" with broad shoulders, yep
>tfw 5'4" but feel like 4'5"

>>6041019
CLIPPYYY I fucking hated you but I kind of miss you now

>>6026856
Better than vaginas, at least. My dysphoria is enormous enough to render me sex repulsed. I just want this thing to be there instead of what's there now, it's not like anybody else would even ever see it.

has anyone tried to use green/blue-ish makeup to simulate beard shadow?

>>6026856
by eating painkillers like candy and crying

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>>6042230
Go to tumblr and type "how to get the fakeboi look" into the search bar. For the complete look don't forget the ace bandages and winged eyeliner.

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>>6042527
or you could go for the 'ftm' tag, and find girls with poor dye jobs, septum piercings, and their boobs hanging out.

>>6039193
>tfw no ftm bf
W-why is life so cruel ;-;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWZGAExj-es

>>6042580
WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP MISGENDERING MEH
IM NOT A GUUHRL
NOT A GLHRL

>>6042614
The bf store had a sale last month. You just missed it.

>disconnected from own wants and needs
>once in a blue moon feel actual active desire for something or to do something
>therapist says it's a good thing, grasp it when it happens
>read about effects of T on the body and people's experiences of it
>heart aches with yearning
Fug.

What are some stereotypically ftm things??
Like wearing bowties, liking yaoi, being called Skylar, etc?

>>6043420
>tfw mtfs are like this but with estrogen
isn't it weird we all know what we really want

>>6043494
>skylar
My name is actually Aiydinne, thank you very much.

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>>6043494
liking yaoi is not a ftm thing, it seems like it because this board is biased towards obviously watching anime and being a faggot. 80% ftm's irl are straight.

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>>6043494
>Liking yaoi
I just finished reading a dutch hockey themed doujinshi where the main character is extremely self destructive and avoidant of the compassion of the people who fuck him, and everyone is in love with him and he loves everyone else, but he talks them out of it because he feels like no one could ever love him. Now i'm sad, but at least reading shit like this has diverted me from suicidal thoughts for now.

>>6043796
Where did the rest of this post go? I remember there being more...

>>6043494
>yaoi
seems more like a Femgen thing than ftm. Seems like most of the stereotypes fit femfags more.

I'm considering taking the name Randall, which was my biological father's name. I turned out to be alot like him even though I never met him since he was still a minor when I was born. (My bio mom, on the other hand, was nearly 30 and somehow never got charged with statutory. Oh well lol.) I might also use Randy for short.

But then there's also the issue of my birth name. It's a girl's name but also pretty unique so I feel kinda bad for wanting to change it despite hating it growing up. I might keep it as a middle name maybe Idk.

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>>6041255
so apparently being anemic and then starting to take iron and going on testosterone makes you start producing more new red blood cells, but you don't have enough iron stores yet, so some of them are tiny. so you get a high red blood cell distribution width. the more you know!

>>6043796
the biker ftm always cracks me up. take vidya and replace it with comics, throw away the fedora and the parents and the lack of 'stache (that's one problem I don't have, amazingly) and I guess I'm the nerdy ftm. cringe. I actually did sometimes eat orange peels during lunch, they were tangy and I liked the texture

can't really relate on the yaoi thing though. maybe I'm too old. I've watched an embarrassing amount of anime, yes, but I never got into yaoi or fanfiction or anything outside of just watching the anime and sometimes lurking /a/

how popular is yaoi among cis gay and bi guys? now I'm curious

>>6044095
>Randy
... why do this to yourself

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In just tired of the acne. In hairy and loving it, still working on my voice which seems to pass but doesn't feel 100% great to my own ears.

I just want the acne to go away.


And I want binders that work well without showing lines under t-shirts and being sweaty as fuck (which causes more acne)

>>6043912
what's it called?

>>6044357
What's wrong with Randy? It's an upgrade considering how I got my birthname. Plus it has some meaning to me at least instead of picking from the pool of stereotypical FtM names.

>>6044662
As long as your surname isn't Mann or Cox or something.

>>6044736
Lol no it isn't. I'm just going to keep my current last name.

I guess I see what you're getting at though on how it can be a sexual pun. But on the upside, I still plan on using Randall in more formal/business settings anyway.

>>6044887
do you mind me asking what your birth name is? i'm just curious what you mean by unique

>>6044947
rhohondra

>>6044606
>what's it called?
Hah. Hockey Homo, it might actually be the worst thing i've ever voluntarily read.

>>6044736
omg somebody please change your name to Randy Cox-Mann

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i dont know if im trans

i mean the signs were there when i was younger, then i played sports and repressed everything. now im just confused as to what i really am, and who i am.

nobody told me life would meme me this hard.

>>6045013
Man, when it comes to manga I will read such utter gutter trash sometimes. Books, too, I will chew shit and kinda enjoy it. TV and movies however feel like torture unless the content is legitimately good.

>>6024063
Kek/10

>>6043796
pretty sure i meet at least one of the requirements for each of those stereotypes

peak ftm

>>6044095
>Randy
Haha there's this series of cartoons on youtube featuring a transexual named randy made me think of it and laugh. Also apparently the creator took most of them off youtube for some reason though now you have to go to his site and it loads 5 times slower :/

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/contagious

>>6045114
>when it comes to manga I will read such utter gutter trash sometimes
Holy shit iktf. I just have a ridiculously hard time finding animes and manga I like, I know there has to be a ton of awesome ones out there but I can never find them so I end up reading some ridiculous slice of life romatic comedy that I end up never finishing.

Those of you that have had phalloplasty, how do orgasms and sensation work? Do you actually feel sensation in the penis or from the clitoris that the penis was placed on?

Is possible to just be a girl that would really like yo be a guy, without necessarily being trans, or is tht essentially the definition of being transgender?

>>6047205
Do you in any way hate your body? Despise having breasts and/or vagina?

>>6047205
What is it that appeals to you about being a guy?

>>6047238
I don't really despise having breasts, just find them to be annoying, in the way. I don't care that much about my vagina except when I'm having periods, then I do hate everything about stuff down there. I do fantasize about having a dick sometimes, like it would be really nice to just be a guy and go to the pool and stuff.

I don't dislike my body, but do like to dress up like a guy and see if I can look good.

>>6047440
Nah, not trans

>>6047246
Hard to describe, I would love to talk to other guys and socialize as a guy.
There is something about being a guy that looks good, would feel good, it is hard to explain.

>>6047762
Thanks, that puts me at ease.

>>6047440
>>6047803
Sounds to me like a case of maybe.

>>6044947
I'd rather not on 4chan cause my facebook could probably be easily be found with it. But it isn't ghetto at least. It's an old, uncommon last name that they gave me as a first name. I'll put it that way.

>>6047879
Really, why do you think that?

>>6047246
>What is it that appeals to you about being a guy?

nothing. its that i am unable to imagine myself as a female
my perception of myself as i exist, is as a male

hence the confusion and need for transition

>>6049554
>trans feelings

>>6047803
>not trans feelings

>>6046723
Haven't had it but will do soon. Some of the links in the OP should answer your questions.

You should be able to feel sensation in the clitoris, and, depending on your graft site, should also get good sensation in the penis too. The arm flap has more sensation than if taken from the groin. Sensation should resume once you've healed, and guys have reported being able to orgasm.

>>6049899
>Haven't had it but will do soon.
Good luck to you. I've been considering it desu

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>>6046723
I can't help that much because I never had phallo and not really intending too but here's a graph I saved awhile ago.

It's kind of a weird graph, the light blue represents the total amount of people sampled in each category because each has a different amount because they were merged from multiple studies.

>>6050008
Thanks, man.
What sort of things are you weighing up at the moment?

>>6049509
Because it reminds me of myself. Reading back in my journal from when I was about 15 that's how I sounded when I began to flirt with the idea of being trans. The more I dug at it, the more basic it got. The focal point moved from fantasy, like >>6047803
>I would love to talk to other guys and socialize as a guy.
to something like >>6049554
>i am unable to imagine myself as a female
>my perception of myself as i exist, is as a male
which is significantly scarier because it touches at something fundamental that really had always been there. I got a bout of panic attacks when I finally arrived at that. I was still repressing in some way even as I was deep into researching trans topics.

But at this point, who can say in >>6047440's case. Maybe she will be happy just crossdressing, or after getting period blockers or something. I dunno anon. Feel free to stick around.

>>6049899

>You should be able to feel sensation in the clitoris, and, depending on your graft site, should also get good sensation in the penis too. The arm flap has more sensation than if taken from the groin. Sensation should resume once you've healed, and guys have reported being able to orgasm.

But how does the arm sensation work? I'm rubbing my arm but it doesn't feel... erotic. And I've never really enjoyed masturbating either, so what then? Sorry if my questions are stupid, I'm kinda new to this board. I checked out the phalloplasty archive and looked at some of the questions but I didn't really understand. Does the testosterone change the sensitivity and stuff of the clitoris? I know it gets a bit bigger with testosterone, but I don't know much else of what happens to the clitoris. Thanks for answering by the way.

>>6050626
What I meant by arm sensation is you can FEEL, not erotic, just generally. My consultant told me that using the groin only produces sensation in the base of the phallus.
But, as I understand it, it's part psychological, i.e. now having something to fuck with that is a part of you, but also part physiological because the clitoris is still there and getting stimulated. Does that make sense?

Testosterone does make it bigger, and the sensation does change, I think it's supposed to get less sensitive, but I don't have any experience with that desu.

I prefer to masturbate by dry humping, imaging myself as having a penis, and therefore not touching myself at all. Best orgasm for me - might be worth at least trying for you? Depends what you're into though, I'm assuming touching the clitoris is a turn off for you?

>>6050626

http://www.informingconsent.org/2015/09/07/nerve-hook-up/

>>6050720
forgot to add; in my country surgeons don't really do nerve hook-up so i've been considering getting a loan and doing it abroad once i'm properly employed (student atm)

>>6050689

>Depends what you're into though, I'm assuming touching the clitoris is a turn off for you?

Yeah like, I've tried masturbating before but it didn't really feel right, if that makes sense. I've also never orgasmed either and don't really know HOW to, so that also adds to it. Maybe it's because of dysphoria? I've tried fingering too but I don't have any vaginal depth and it kinda stings. I was actually born with half a testicle and was supposed to be a boy, but my body kinda couldn't make up its mind while I was developing so I ended up being born with half a useless testicle which later got removed and no reproductive system and no vaginal depth. On the upside I won't need a hysterectomy, but on the down I was born a girl and have to manually transition that way. I could try some anal stuff and see if I have a prostate but I probably don't. Oy, life is hard.

>>6050806
Are you on T yet?

>>6050862

Not yet, although I'm hoping to be later this year.

>>6050806
>tfw no qt intersex ftm bf to play "find the prostate" with

I've always wanted to try to do anal but it grosses me out too much, but I'm too embarassed to buy an enema make it less poopy. I'm want to buy a dildo and enema online but it's still kind of awkward because all my money goes into a joint account with my mom.