Sup /lgbt/, agp transbian scum here. For the past couple years,

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Sup /lgbt/, agp transbian scum here.
For the past couple years, I've been crossdressing and publicly living as a grill part time. I just turned 20 and I'm also not very masculine to begin with, so I pass with some makeup. With that in mind, I know that will change in the coming years so I'm thinking about starting HRT sometime soon. Now there are two problems.
First of all I don't want to disappoint my family by coming out (duh, they were already p disappointed when they found my stash of makeup and grill clothes twice in the past year) so I'm thinking of self-medding for the first couple years maybe. Now since I'm not going full grill just I'm just seeking to retain and enhance my feminine features in the meantime. Are there any mild dosage plans for that without going full grill mode? Should I even take estrogen or are simple testosterone blockers sufficient? Any estrogen-rich foods that will accomplish the same thing as HRT only on a milder scale?
The other problem is, being AGP scum and all I want to retain my sex drive. It won't be much fun to dress up in public and shit if it doesn't also make me horny. Are there ways to retain my sex drive while on HRT? Will that still be possible if I decide to fully transition into girlmode somewhere down the line?