>That kid who refused to eat the food at the dfac because

>>35106689
Umm I wasn't Army, but wouldn't that be

>The kid who got dropped

>>35106689
We had a kid who would brush his teeth with his cock on the edge of the sink so there were some fags who fingered his anus against his will with icey-hot.

>>35106718

did the drill sergeant make you all do it as punishment?

>>35106689
Locks and socks.

>>35106718

kek <---- this one
kek
kek
kek

The kid who gets to the range during qualification shoot who suddenly decides that shooting guns is against his religion.

>that kid with a degree who signed up intending to be an officer
>finds out hes a boots on the ground enlisted and he was lied to
>no way out at this point

haha
ha.....

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That kid that shoots the drill sergeant

>>35106689
Kill yourself.

>The faggot that decides the military is too hard after one fucking week and drags his mattress into the bathroom and sits on it under a running shower head pretending he can hear voices in the walls one night so the MTI has to send him to med hold for a psych eval.

Bastard got criminally charged for faking mental illness.

>That kid who has a dehydration seizure the very first morning of Basic
>The kid in the bunk next to him who freaks the fuck out and starts sperging that people are DYING and nobody even cares what the fuck i'm gonna die the sergeants are gonna kill us ahhhhhhh
>The barely literate Korean that doesn't speak fluent English that accidentally answers "Yes" on the two-millionth mental survey question asking if you have ever attempted or considered suicide.

>>35107233
sounds like he got put where his level of intelligence was most suited desu

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>>35106700

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>mfw one female told me in her Basic that they had a male TI who wasn't allowed in after lights out >so all the females left one bay of the dorm with all beds made and doubled-up two to a bed in the other bay

>>35106689
>That kid who deliberately fucked up so we would get smoked
I knew a prick like that, he was even told that we would be punished if he did not comply and he said "Fuck them", he made it into the fleet too.

>>35106689
Been thinking about joining the military, worried that I won't like every meal. I have an extremely hard time eating food I don't like. I don't care if it's badly prepared, I just can't eat it if it's not something I'm comfortable with. Will this be a problem?

>>35111232

At the Lackland DFAC you side-step down the line and reply either "Yes sir" or "No sir" at numerous stations along the way.

Like grilled cheese (Grilled Cheese and Jesus, every Sunday)? "Yes sir."

Don't like quiche? "No sir."

Wash rinse repeat until you get to the end, than whatever is left on your tray should b e things you can handle eating.

>>35111232
You'll probably be too hungry to notice too much

>>35111232
if you cant eat boiled carrots and you are a man i want you to find the closest mirror and have a good hard look at yourself

fucking jackrabbit, and got his ass recycled.

And that kid who ALSO thought he was carlos fucking hathcock, and posted the worst score, then blamed his rifle.

>>35111298

Oh holy shit, Lackland chow was sweet. Learned to love fried Okra at Lackland.

>that kid who probably STILL doesn't know what "port" and "starboard" meant

>>35111405

Truncated post, basically airman basic fuckwit decided to zap said bunny wit his poodle shooter, and was immediately (USAF style, not much at all) dogpiled by TI's.

I say the fucking rabbit deserved it.

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>that kid that shot himself in the foot
>on purpose

>>35111412
Yeah, you would tubby tubby. How many waivers are you up to by now?

>>35111454
>(USAF style, not much at all)
That means they all apologized and genuflected. Sooner or later those kill hats will be replaced with fedoras. God bless AETC.

>>35111467
Lost count, having been out since 1989... 1A7X,

>>35111474

No kidding. Even in the 80's USAF basic was pudding.

A vivid memory from basic was "How would you like your eggs cooked".

Wat. Umm And then reptle brain said "DENVER MUTHERFUCKINGOMLETTE".

And this hispanic SRA made me a perfect Denver omlette.


FUCK YEAH! Stick me in that helo and GIBS ME DAT pig. DENVER OMLETTE EVERYDAYS!?

Ahh, USAF in the 80's.

>>35111204

explain, i dont get it

>>35111298
Ok, that sounds reasonable
>>35111305
I thought the military fed you well?
>>35111327
Boiled carrots are fine. I can't do broccoli, mushrooms, or seafood

>>35111550

Full spread funky monkey.

>>35111563

i still dont understand

>>35111562
My list of "do not eat" stopped at "bipedal and sentient, without reason".

Though one time I dined at a USMC chow hall . And learned why Marines are so pissed off all the time.

>>35111578
he was a rapist

>>35111578
They were double bunked.

>>35111589
You'd eat a sentient quadruped?

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>that kid who would deliberately fuck up so we would get smoked

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Dude, that was was me in MCRD San Diego

>scribe and squad leaders didn't like me ever since I fell back on a run on a knee injury
>thankfully got better before the need to being dropped back a week
>even though I didn't fuck up as badly or as often as others, the squad leaders were always on MY ass for some reason unknown to me ever since that day
>scribe would put me on firewatch every night for the past month and a half
>decided that if I wasn't gonna sleep, neither would he
>keep flashing my light on his face everytime I walk by
>he eventually snaps and we're fighting in the squad bay
>other firewatch breaks it up
>drill instructors tell scribe and squad leaders that everytime I fuck up, they're going to suffer right along with me
>was triathlete before joining the Marines
>purposely fuck up and have all of us smoked daily multiple times
>during the smoking/IT one day... One of the recruit/squad leaders starts crying and yelling at me "WHY!?!?!?" Tears flowing like a bitch
>fuck them
>for the other month and a half, our life was hell but they suffered way more than I did that's for sure

Its what kept me going. Knowing that I was destroying them every day, those conniving, firewatch skipping, peanut butter packet hidding sons of bitches.

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>that kid that kept shitting his pants during the crucible
he was in front of me the whole time

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>>35111534
>out since 1989
Anon, what are you doing here?
I was born that year and I'm too old to still be here....

>>35111211

DUDE!!! What platoon? What year? Could have been me

>>35111639
I like you. You belong in the military. Nothing I love more than a man who is willing to put up with a little bit of discomfort for those sweet, sweet tears of sadistic pleasure

>>35111327
who the fuck would boil perfectly good carrots?

>>35111603
Hot

>>35111562
You'll be hungry cause you'll be burning a lot of calories, and you won't be snaking. You'll eat only at designated times, the same every day until your body expects it.

>>35111639
I...I am impressed. And it gives me an idea.

>>35111657
>Anon, what are you doing here?
I was born that year and I'm too old to still be here....

My wife is dead.
I have alcohol.
And internet.
And time.


So much time.

>>35111621
Sentient, yes.
Sapient, no.

>>35111621
>You'd eat a sentient quadruped?

Depends on the preparation.

Horse, for example is very tasty...

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>>35111830
Same situation here (mostly)

We might be ~20 years apart, but we both know what it is.

>>35111909
>>35111830
Anons, no, the feels.

>>35111562
>can't do broccoli, mushrooms, or seafood
GTFO

>>35111830
You uh... you want to talk about it?

>>35111211
How did you guys not fucking murder this prick after lights out? Were you all so retarded you didn't realize your DS was signing this kids death warrant?

That kid the DI told graduation morning, "We know we didn't get to you". Me.

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>>35111947
It's not so bad, don't worry about it.

>>35111830
wow. Do you live in Arizona? Need a shooting buddy?

>>35112176
five years ago. Lived in AZ for 30 years.
Even was in some chan shoots. tilthey got weird.

Took my Lugers, Lahtis and other toys and left.

Now I live in Kentucky. A far saner state. All it needs is open/Constitutional carry to be bliss.

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Fuck dat a'd up onionhead cruit ass puh-rye-vaaat

>>35111232
>I have an extremely hard time eating food I don't like.
Don't even dream about joining.

>>35111639
>>decided that if I wasn't gonna sleep, neither would he
>>keep flashing my light on his face everytime I walk by
you fucking cunt, I like your style

>>35106749
Were you navy by chance?

>>35111639
In my day we had the "blanket party" to take care of queers like you.

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>>35112725
And BACK IN MY DAY we didn't have shitty fucking faggots like you who sympathize with leaders with no integrity and abuse of power over lower ranks. We didn't need a blanket party to take care of people like you.

You wouldn't even make it through MEPS

>>35106689
>the drill sergeants made all of us stop eating

The fuck? They can do that? Deny you a meal, I mean?

>>35111204
That's stupid, pointless, and unhygenic.

>>35111298
Haha...I was also at Lackeyland and we didn't have to do this. What dumbass squadron where you win?

>>35106689
>That kid that fainted in the initial ceremony
>That kid that found a landmine and took it to the Srg
>That kid that shot 150m above the target
>Those two gay kids that were found fucking in the potty
>That kid that was sent to the furthest outpost from his home

>>35111041
>drags his mattress into the bathroom and sits on it under a running shower head pretending he can hear voices in the walls
This guy sounds cool

>>35113919
I was 331st and I had to do that. I'm glad the old dorms were torn down, they were really shit and Disneyland made us all jealous.

>>35111442
I learned after a match of Blackwake. Some fuck said port has the same number of letters in it as left.

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>>35111639
>>decided that if I wasn't gonna sleep, neither would he
>>keep flashing my light on his face everytime I walk by

How does one join the military at an infantryman's level and actually work in a professional military? This shit is ridiculous

>>35114572
wot do you mean?

>>35106689
>140843900
>shittiest bases of all the branches? You got It!
>insane hierarchy system that will have PFC's acting like a god towards anyone they have the smallest inkling of power over? Checkarooni
>Do you like standing around in a formation for hours? Kicking dirt around all day because you're forced to be 45 minutes early to the 15 minutes early muster time?
>Like shooting guns? Great, because shooting one involves standing in a line all day in the 100+ degree sun waiting for your turn to put 20 bullets down range with a safety officer dangling his balls over your head the entire time.
>Love working out? Good, because you'll be forced to engage in strenuous high impact activities like 20 mile ruck marches, slow ass battalion runs, buddy carries and all sorts of dumb shit starting at 0300 every morning except Saturday and Sunday, unless you're fat, then you work out every day.
>Get promoted at a snails pace because it's a small branch that values brute strength over intelligence. Doesn't matter if you can't form a coherent sentence if you can bust out 30 clean hang pull ups.

Yeah you're a boot ass Parris Island baby back bitch OP. I bet you sit around with your shitty little 18 year old boot buddies reminiscing about how tough basic training was. Make sure you wear your designated boot camp unit t-shirt, backpack and dog chains every time you go out in public to make sure everyone knows you're a big tough Marine

>>35114585
I want people who know what they are doing to be telling me what to do, I don't want my fellows to be fucking each other in the ass and having consecutive mental breakdowns lol. This stuff cant be real right?

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>>35114572
The nature of the military is that piling on stupid shit and generally fucking over your troops is a cheap and effective way to build the bitterness you want at a MCpl-Sergeant level.

You get to work in a professional military when you're deployed and actually doing professional shit. Garrison life is fucking awful because all that infantry life is going to nothing so it's either act up and get punished or get punished for someone else acting up.

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>>35111412
>Hasn't had Caribbean bar day on Friday's at Walter Reed.

Holy shit, there will never be better chow anywhere DOD wide than Friday's at Walter Reed.

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>be THAT GUY who antagonizes the DS in a smoking session
>TOO EASY DS
> enjoy watching all the fat fucks who came to the army out of shape struggle and cry out in pain
> Have a smug look on my face the entire time

>>35111232
Don't join. You won't like the rat asshole maggot rice the Nook feed you

>>35107233
Shut the fuck up specialist

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>>35111639
>One of the recruit/squad leaders starts crying and yelling at me "WHY!?!?!?" Tears flowing like a bitch

>>35111562
You sound like you have autism

>>35107180
yes
first kek

>>35113834
Why do I genuinely believe this? Being enlisted in muhreens, I see the shittiest humans try to fuck their juniors up for no reason.. I knew beatings and other shit happned more back in the day, but I tell myself it couldn't possibly be under the same circumstances as of today... its always the hispanics too...

>>35112238
If you ever get north of the rivere this Ohiofag is down for a range day

>>35113891

They stopped us while we were eating; we had food in us already.

My DS just said my last name and shook my hand on graduation. Everyone else had a little quip said to them, im still not sure how to take it but that was 4 years ago.

>>35114704

Because back then the military compromised of mostly white people. Now whites are a minority in their military.

Deep down you know cultural and racial differences to be real.

>>35113891
They can and do all the time
All you have to do is take one bite, then you've had the meal and they can tell you to get the fuck out of the DFAC
It happened all the time in red phase that some retard would take jello or something and get his whole table kicked out

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>>35106689
>that kid who puked in his cover and the DI made him wear it anyways
>that kid who fell asleep in the gas chamber
>that kid who wandered onto the grenade range and fucking died

>>35113906
>unhygenic

nothing about joining the military is good for you.

>>35106700
you don't know about the need to keep the graduation rate up, do you?
>that kid pulling CQ every day
>been on Sand Hill 8 months
>went AWOL his first week of basic
>came back on his own
>went AWOL again 2 months later, but convinced his battle buddy to go AWOL with him
as long as he sat there wasting oxygen he didn't go into the win or lose column

>>35107180
Yes front kek

>>35117612
>>that kid who wandered onto the grenade range and fucking died
story

>>35114601
these are stories for a reason. They aren't common, even though they do happen.

>>35116377
What's wrong with jello

>>35111830
Damn bruh...

>>35112238
What part of KY?

>>35114610
Yo, you dropped your liver, bro

>>35106718
Go on.

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>>35111830
>my wife is dead
He fell for the "Marriage will make my life complete meme".
Don't know what you expected.

>>35111830
fuck man, where you at, ima take you old ass shooting. right in the fuckin feels

>>35114510
literally how i learned. left has 4 letters, so does port, starboard doesn't.

>>35111550
>>35111578
I would presume, with the miltaries "hurry up and wait!" mentality, that making beds sucks due to the barbed flogging and salt pouring you get if a single thread is out of line.

Ergo, by having half the beds be pristine and perfect, you have half the beds to make up.

Also the idea of women sleeping next to women is arousing