alright /k/, you're sitting at a hotel and some unknown

>think he is joking
>die

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>>34871520
>go to bathroom
>take off hat
>take off sunglasses
>flip coat inside out
>cut goatee as short as i can with a pocket knife
>walk out
>leave while they are sill looking for the guy in a camo coat
should work as long as they don't have me inder constant surveillance. if they do than there is no move and i'm already screwed

Bribe one of the cleaning ladys to let me hide in the laundry hamper, have her wheel me to a fire exit at the back of the building, leave the building that way.

>>34871559
might be smarter to ditch the coat all together on second thought.

>>34871559
If you're at a hotel you'd probably have a shaving kit, just lose the goatee entirely.

>>34871520
Boot up 4chan and ask /k/ for advice on how to handle the situation.

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>>34871559
>>34871590
>>34871603
Best thing about having thick facial hair (pic maybe related?) is that you can shave it all, put on a pair of sunglasses, and boom, totally different face

maybe even shave your head too.

>Move to roof
>Strip Naked
>Take position at roof ledge facing front of building
>Take aim at the door
>Mag dump first motherfucker through the door
>Hurl self off roof
>Evacuate bowels and bladder on the way down
>Begin Masturbating
>Slam into the roof of their shitty van, fully erect, covered in shit and piss

>>34871603
>>34871626
True, but i don't have the luxury of knowing when exactly the enemy will come in

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>>34871643
sounds solid to me

>>34871520
I was faced w/a similar situation except the dudes were LARPing as tourists and had filled the lobby quickly. I chose a corner w/a view and concealment. Eventually they chickened-out

>>34871706
Story time?

>>34871520
Hope there another black person they confuse me with.

>small group
>lightly armed
>coming to kill me
>expecting me to evade, instead of turning on the hotel's porn channel and rubbing one out while they make their way in for the "surpise" entrance.

It's like you aren't even trying.

>>34871706
Greentext time

>>34871520
>call room service
>take their uniform
> walk out the building
>furiously masturbate in the parking lot

>>34871520
>Push both beds against the hotel room door
>Shut off lights and TV
>Go into bathroom
>Lock door

So by the time they've gotten to me they've had to

>Unlock my hotel door or blow it open
>Cut the chain keeping the door from fully opening
>Force their way through two king sized beds with frame and everything
>Search around my room in the dark
>Knock down the bathroom door
>Find me behind the shower curtain

You'd have a SWAT team from three counties over already there and shooting at them by the time they're done. Not to mention I've already called the police. They'd have to get to the roof and rope down to my window which puts them at a massive disadvantage.

>>34872111
Break the lights or they will flip them on; magdump through the doorway after the first few kicks, then do the same when they start to kick in the bathroom door. Other than that you've a solid plan Anon.

>>34872007
>beat the shit out of room service and tie him up in the bathroom
>take his clothes
>walk down
>still get shot because they know your face

>>34871520
I've got a full proof plan.
>pull out my 1911 I carry on my person at all times
>At this point I can assume half of them are taking an elevator to my floor and the other half the stairs in each direction therefore I am surrounded
>bust window out of room and climb onto ledge
>drop the the lower ledge
>by the time I'm on the lower ledge they will all be up on my floor that I was on
>punch out window of room below me, if they ask questions just shoot them
>armed guys will hear and will check to see what floor I am on, half will go up other half will go down
>assuming each guy has body armor, an armored helmet, an assault rifle and a side arm of some sort, they will probably be much slower than me to go down the stairs
>make a break for the stairs, by the time those guys even reach the stairs I will probably be 2 floors ahead of them
>they will probably assume that I'm making a break straight for the entrance so I go down 1 more floor and run to the elevator, call it, then hide in the janitors closet.
>armed guys will pass me like doofuses
>when I hear the elevator ding, I break for it and go to the highest level there is
>when I get there, immidiately press the "call for emergency services help my elevator is stuck button"
>firefighters will come to rescue me, and by the time they reach the top floor they will see armed guys and get shot and call for police backup
>police sort this one out for me
>ditch my gun in the trash or something so the cops don't think im one of those guys

>>34872834
>>assuming each guy has body armor, an armored helmet, an assault rifle and a side arm of some sort

>this is anon's definition of "lightly armed"

>>34872111
Dude door chains are a fucking joke.

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>>34871520
Through the air vents, obviously

>>34872911
they don't have crew served weapons or any sort of explosives tho

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Use traps.

>>34873854
Alternatively, become a trap and seduce the men who are after you.

>>34873854
what kind of fucking hotel are you in that allows you to easily find logs and vegetational concealment?

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>>34873883
Use the bed frame as the dead fall.
Sheets or curtains as concealment.
Also, something like this could work.

>>34871520
I live in Canada so this is how it would probably play out

>Realize I have no weapons
>Go back to my room, lock all the locks, shut off lights and tv
>Call the police, apologize for inconvienence
>Take the pot from the room's coffee maker
>Once hosers make it in, smash pot on the first guy's face, wrestle gun from him
>They start to run because now I'm armed
>Point it at them as they run and pull trigger
>Safety is on, no firearms training so I don't know how to turn safety off
>It's ok though, they left
>Cops show up and arrest me, charge me with with assault, unlawful possession of a firearm, attempted murder, intent to discharge a firearm, intent to discharge a firearm when being reckless, careless use of a firearm, improper storage of a firearm, pointing a firearm, possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose, possession of a firearm knowing that possession is unauthorized, and possession for the purpose of trafficking
>"Sorry"
>Die in prison

>>34873905
Wouldn't the guy's friends just shoot you as soon as you are getting up from your impromptu wrestling match?

>>34873903

Oh shit I really like that one. That's a cool one.

>>34873917
Fuck, I forgot to say I would have informed them I called the cops. But yeah I guess they would have probably just killed me.

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>>34873936
Yeah, it does look really neat.
The way I would recreate it is that I would set up some sort of tough but concealable rope and the weight would be literally anything I could find, maybe tie the mattress and bedframe together with the curtains.
They'd see the curtain/sheets rope for the weight going outside, but that's what I'm going for, they'll be thinking that I climbed down they'll go to look at which floor I climbed into and then they'll run into the trip wire.
Full of holes and probably won't work, but maybe I'd impress one of them.
>>34873962
Maybe if they're Canadian criminals.

Set building on fire and kill us all. If I kill myself, and them, that means they lose

Pull the fire alarm and leave with everyone else

>>34872007
This nigga think he in a 4 star hotel.

>>34871520
>Don't believe him
>Stay situationally aware and check for exits just in case

>>34875175
>If I kill myself, and them, that means they lose
Their only objective is for you to die. You dying means they win, fuckhead.

>>34871559
Dress up as the maid!
>I cleaaan

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I would block the door with the fridge and call law enforcement

>>34871520
Leave the door unlocked, aim my ccw at the door and magdump into it as soon as I see any movement on the knob.
Or just... call the cops I guess?

>>34873882
>>34877149
the solution is clearly the synthesis of those two, namely, become a trapmaid

>>34872007
this

>>34877157

That .gif is so, so utterly pathetic

They go in to Elevator
>Elevator is bomb
They take stairs
>Step is bomb
Thay kick the door
>Door is bomb
They switch light
>Light is boom

I go near last one, who is bleeding on floor.
>Sorry comrade. War is hell. Use this toilet paper.

>>34871520
call the police

Shoot the messenger, disguise him as me, fake my death

>>34871520
>Evade them
What does this mean? I go loud with my CCI micro-mags out of my ruger 10/22. Shoot out hte door, slam the door shut, and just wait until it's safe...

>>34871987
what does green text means? and how do i type green>?

>>34877157
Minifridges weigh like 45 pounds tho.

>>34871520
Walk out naked and unarmed with the leg sleeve of my pants turtlenecked around my head and my hands waving in the air while loudly quoting scripture
They'll be too confused to shoot me and I'll make my escape unscathed

>>34883082
I have improved on your concept
>Knock out messenger
> (Optional) Sexy time, then knock out
>Switch clothes
>Hang the messenger using hotel blanket
>Put a knocked down chair under them
>Light building on fire and pull fire alarm for chaos
>Blend in with evacuating guests
>Go to strip club