>Be me >Armyfag >First Sergeant calls for squad/team

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>Be me
>Armyfag
>First Sergeant calls for squad/team leaders meeting during field exercise
>"We just got the new P320 to replace all of our old ass 91Fs. Go ahead and grab one from the armory when we get back and demonstrate the required shit with each team"
>whatever.jpg
>gets P230
>"Here is our new serviced side arm. 1STSGT said it was gayer than 8 guys blowin' nine guys but whatever. Not like we'll get these anyways"
>Pick it up
>Flurry of bullets all the sudden discharge
>ohfuck.png
>everyones dead
>blood everywhere
>i drop it and run
>NotSoFast.jpg
>pistola flips and gets me in the tumtum
>ouch
>security team returns fire
>they're no match
>Mattis is visiting Bragg
>he understands what needs to be done
>breaks into his old rucksack
>finds radio from 1943
>puts it on poor lance corporal who attended with him
>pulls saving pvt ryan shit
>"GET ME SHOME FASHT MOVERSH IN HERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW, WE'RE NAPING THIS WHOLE BASE"
>"but sir"
>"RIGHT FUCKING NOW, BOOT"
>F-35 zooms in
>Fox 1 Away
>Fox 2 Away
>napalm everywhere
>meanwhile I look up to see SecDef running towards me
>oh shit watch out sir
>Flaming p320 jumps up
>after long CQB situation with pistol, mattis succesfully bashed the reciever in with a rock
>were all about to die from closing napalm
>mattis grabs me
>"Son, I want you to know...
>......./k/ was right"
And thats how the P320 killed us all