You have pissed off an entire Mexican drug cartel and you must

>>34676439
Good choice for human shield

>>34676439
I pick the head of the mexican drug cartel.

>>34676439
I'm already home.

>>34676439
Canadian Ambassador to Mexico

>>34676439
I pick the head of the mexican drug cartel's Mom.

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FUCK SAFETY

Posting the one non-gay airman, there is only way to deal with spic cartels.

>>34676509
You are killed by his second in command. The head is also killed because he showed weakness.

>>34676439
good choice if you want someone to talk you to death.

>>34676439

General Mattis

>>34676439
The Cartels boss. That way if they attack I kill him.

>>34676439

I'll go with my cousin. He's a fairly high ranking law enforcement officer and I'm sure he has connections that can ensure my safety.

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James "Ditch Divin'" Yeager, PMC

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>>34676534
You take that back motherfucker.

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>>34676534
There's more than one way to skin a cat. Spreading fire from the sky is one, spreading from the ground another.

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>>34676772

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>>34676439
>implying there isn't only one good answer

>>34676622
Why pick a gay pornstar?

>>34676856
To be fair, Dugan has a good track record in shooting Crazed Rapists (read Mexicans) so he's a pretty solid pick. If he's healthy enough at the moment.

>>34676826
>this is fuckinn beautiful
Indeed

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>>34676891
>Implying the MS wasn't just a cover for him secretly operating in Syria against crazed ISIS rapists for the past two years

>>34676905
A real American hero.

>>34676905
I would be okay with that.

Anyway isn't he working on a video now?

My buddy Joe... would be fun

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>>34676439
If I kill myself first, they can't skin me alive. Checkmate taconiggers!

>>34676722
>Boyd
>not gay

This guy swallowed Sprey Hook, line and sinker.

>>34676439
I pick Jesus Christ

>>34677042
>He messed with some bad hombres, now he'll pay the price
>A '66 Corvette
>50 kilos of Cocaine
>A dead body
>A suitcase full of money
>And *record skips* THE SON OF GOD?!
>UNHOLY ROLLERS
>This summer, starring anon, and Mel Gibson as Jesus Christ
>Rated R for Retarded

>>34676439
Will he be bringing any still born fetuses with him?

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>>34677042
>picks a dead Jew

Why? OP said real so don't spin any of that magic nonsense.

>>34677078
Fucking kek

Pat Mac or Paul Howes

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>>34677078

>>34677121
GarandThumb, muhfuggas

POTUS I choose you!
I mean, the limo alone should fend off almost anything they can muster

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i'll choose Sheriff Seagal

he can take down entire cartel with his Aikido skills

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Jerry Miculek

To make things fair he's only armed with a tactical nailgun with an NAA mini revolver in .22lr.

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Hickok45

>>34677013
>has rifle slung on back
>picks up another rifle to kill himself
I guess proof goatfuckers really are dumb.

>>34677078
>featuring rob Schneider as "the stapler"

If you piss off a whole entire cartel, you're going to need more than one person to get you out

>>34677603
That depends on which cartel is, anon.

Neall Ellis

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>not picking this giant

Have fun getting killed plebs

>>34676570
Beat me to it. Bout time we really get invested in the rodeo

>>34677878

This was basically the free space of bingo...

Carlos Slim Helú

A Mexican that rich would have all kinds of contacts to get shit done.

>>34677529
>T-they looked like 2-liters to you?!

>>34677878
you want it to be a little fun, if you've got Vining watching your back there's no way you could get to slay some bad hombres

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>>34677121
Yes anon, you are correct

>>34677878
I won't finding handing him mags that much fun Anon. and my thumbs might get sore

>>34677529
>"let's try some spic smoking"
>*BLAM-BLAM-BLAM*
>"hehehe"
Cold blooded motherfucker

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Keanu Reeves

Donald Trump.

Because as much as they'll hate the shit out of him, if he dies, Pence goes nuclear.

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>>34676439
>Choosing anyone other than the most powerful man on earth

>>34676439
I chose potus

>>34677013
Doesn't the rifle go flying away from the body when you blow your brains out?

>>34678163
>>34678220
>>34678585
Fourth'd.

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Chuck Norris of course

Why Abu Hajaar of course!

https://youtu.be/aM3ElTvF52I?t=1m37s

>>34677529

>>34677383

>proceeds to use shot timer facing 20 tacos with a reload in between, does it in 4.724 sec

>>34677529

>proceeds to blow a tacos' head from 50m using a G19.... on the first shot of his warmup

>>34677878

>proceeds

>>34677100
>who is Josephous

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Simo Häyhä

Ultimate degenerate killer

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>not a fictional person

Not even if he's based on a real person?

>>34678062
Top kek

>>34681741
>based on

in name alone

>>34681774
Him and Gilgamesh switched bodies when they were summoned obviously. That's why Alex is the gigantic bear of a man, and Gilgamesh is a pale twink.

>>34681725
not bad at all

>>34676570
Fucking this. So this.

>>34676439
None because I don't live in a shit hole full of spics, if there are spics around where I live they stand out like a sore thumb.

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>>34676439
Congo Müller

Let him"hunt" the cartel and have a nice drink afterwards, without losing the smile even for a second.

>>34676439
Pat MacNamara desu

I mean, what's our contact situation? If he comes with sat phone and some time, then whoever the current US President is.

If not, give me some trick- fuck operator type like Tim Kennedy or SERE bro like Garand Thumb.

>>34677818
this ... best choice to get out of somewhhere

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Comrade will protect me

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>>34682791
Not for long, vittu

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>>34682804
saatana perkele

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>>34676439
>Escaped concentration camp, so history of e&e, walking 93 miles to get to Allied lines just to fight
>Can play bagpipes for psychological warfare
>proficient with ultimate stealth weapon (longbow)
>can out-dps Cartel in melee (broadsword > puny machetes)
>lunatic-level fearless
>+20 Luck
>experienced in jungle warfare (Burma), actually disappointed that the war ended so soon
>fought off 250 Arabs with 12 men in Palestine
>passionate about model warships and all around /k/ommando as fuck
>a fucking bona fide male model

You guys picked other people?????

>>34682818
all my kek

>>34682878
Yeah, why would I pick a genetically inferior "human"

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>>34682878
further
>captured 42 germans, complete with their mortar, single handedly, armed only with his sword
>rides a motorbike
>prolific surfer

>>34676439
Anders Breivik

And we're not going home until the beans are gone

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Well... guess I'm good, Mexico isn't though.

>tfw you are the SedDef's excuse to blow the snot out of the cartels once and for all

>>34678707
Maybe he put the buttstock against the ground and leaned over the muzzle.

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>>34676439
We are done here

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>>34683062
>winter war
>MEXICO

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You're fucked!

>>34676856
>gay porn star

Not gay, buck angel has a vagoo

>>34677565
>I don't know the circumstances
But yeah barring most that's pretty dumb.

>>34676439
Paul Harrell

Chances are probably pretty low if I have an entire cartel after me

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>>34677878

>>34681725
THIS THIS THIS

>>34678108
GAS IT UP AND BURN IT DOWN

>>34676528
Holy shit that's a good choice

Id pick scarlett johanson and trade her for safe passage

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>>34676439
I pick the entire mexican drug cartel compressed into one person

>>34677100
holy shit are you denying the literal mountains of evidence that jesus did exist, whether or not he was the messiah?

>>34678220
>comes with a secret service compliment
>most powerful country in the world invades mexico to purge cartels that finally went "too far" in order to protect him
>has the ability to erect walls anywhere to slow our attackers down, emptying their wallets in the process to fund it.

POTUS has the situation under control, if anything you should wonder for what reason he even needs you and not the other way around?

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>>34676439

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if Nazis couldn't scare this guy then some methed out degenerate Mexicans are nothing.

>>34682968
that bitch is only good at killing kids on islands, you think he would help you against a cartel?

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Meet my nigga and truest OG Otto Skorzeny.

>>34677529

Only real answer ITT

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>>34684773
you say 'kids on islands' like all islands are communist indoctrination centers full of future poison, some commonplace sort of thing

>>34684804
>fat showboat who nearly crashed the plane so he could showboat
i'd pay to see it but he would never be my choice

>>34684833
Irrelevant minor detail because he was largely successful in what he did.

>>34684858
it's not really a minor detail considering that seemingly small indictment is an accurate summation of both his character and abilities by all historical accounts. the fact that people still talk about him is only a testament to the monumental scale of his ego. he was a ww2 nazi steven segal. the fact that he managed to ingratiate himself to people of substance and achievement despite lacking any himself is remarkable in and of itself, granted.

>>34684833
wanting anders breivik to help you would be like wanting eric harris to help you. bitch is only good at killing unarmed kids.

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I'd pick Putin for unchecked access to the entire russian military and secret services

>>34676509
I came here to say this...then I saw the reply.

>>34676530
So I was going to say this.

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As long as there's a treeline or at least some bushes, I'll be fine.

>>34684769
>muh nahtsees
Gb to leddit

>>34676439

My dad, he might not be a one man army, but I would rather go down swinging with him at my back than anyone in the world.

>>34676439
Lauri Torni/Larry Thorne. I'll tell him the Mexicans are commies.

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>>34676439

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>>34684871
>managed to ingratiate himself to people
What? He wasn´t Fegelein.

>>34685365
>liking nazis
>2017

lel

>>34684902
i was just saying that instead of killing random high school students he shot commies. different fish, similar barrel, better end.
i wouldn't want brevik anyway. you'd be better off with keanu reeves. real keanu reeves.

>>34685421
fegelein was guilty of profiting from nepotism but was still more useful than skorzeny. both are only notable because of their proximity to hitler.

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>>34685446
>more useful than skorzeny
What? Fegelein cleaned the swamps.
Skorzeny did not only rescue the Duce. The Jagdverband Ost and West thing was his big game.
What do you think about pic related? He also only > notable because of his proximity to hitler

>>34685485
>Skorzeny did not only rescue the Duce.
no he didn't. he was a last minute hanger on that interjected himself, performed no role in the mission itself, then nearly crashed the exfil vehicle by forcing himself onto it so he could consort with the rescuee.
i won't pretend to know about everyone who surrounded hitler, but skorzeny a shit, sexy height and dueling scar aside. like i said, i'm impressed he managed to construct such a cult of personality while being surrounded by much larger people but he was shit.

>>34678880
No fictional people

>>34685550
If you want judge Skorzeny you should know Wünsche.
About the rescue of the Duce you are right. Nothing to boast Skorzeny. But the allied forces must have had a reason to call him "Der gefährlichste Mann Europas". That was not only the cult of personality, this was created later. After war, like the Peiper Mythos.
Also Skorzeny was high valued alfter war by the people you call > much larger people. HIAG, ODR and ODESSA if it existed. So why if he was only a
show-off? He also take them in?

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>>34685639
>>34685485
>Also Skorzeny was high valued alfter war by the people you call > much larger people.
a victim of his own success.
they rescued any ideologues they could and of course the allies went after anyone who was remotely connected or prominent.

you want a real man to defend you, here's my pick. he made a living out of killing muds and communists.

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>>34676439
There is only one true person that can take down the cartel. IAN

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>>34683662
I don't believe in desert fairy tales.

>>34685995
>>34685673
torni mind

>>34685885
How? or would he'd bore them to death with stories about how "this gun did make it through the military trials" every 2 minutes?

>>34687332
>he'd bore them to death
Would that allow you to get you safely back home?

Yes it would.

Tactic is valid.

>>34677878
>he will never be your dad

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Marvin Heemeyer

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Can't miss out on the free helicopter exfil.

>>34677529
Only if you feed him acid until he hallucinates beaners as 2liters

>>34677529
WastedSoda45

>>34681741
Admit it, the only reason you want Alex is because you want to be the little uke taking his giant forearm-sized wang

>>34687403
what ia dementia for $500 alex?

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Donald Trump tf lmao

>>34677878
Wouldn't Vining just blow them up?

And their houses.

And their headquarters.

Plus he probably could call in the Nightstalkers to fly you out.

>>34683006
Is he allowed to wear his uniform as Sec. Def?

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>>34687920
>tfw you hope Trump restarts the Vietnam War so you can go full on Barnes except without the pussy death

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Benny Hill
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7JMXlwsyPc

>>34677878
Was MGS franchise based off of his life?

>>34683662
>evidence

>>34683723
You forgot one thing
>has absolute support of the gay mafia because President Pence's attempt to fix the gay "problem" would make the Holocaust look like a weekend in Chicago

>>34684833
If a guy can simultaneously be a showboat and a master infiltrator and operator, he's good at what he does

>>34676509
I'd watch this movie.