Do you have plans for home invasion? What will you do when Tyrone

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>>34661594
Have my knife and carry pistol on my bed stand. Shotgun leaning against the wall right next to that. AR15 hanging on the wall about 5ft next to that. Dead bolt both entrances to my house and my bedroom door is also dead bolted to ensure even if someone breaks in I have plenty of time to arm myself and orientate my senses. From there I can call the police and wait or venture out to bag me a north american pavement ape if I am drunk enough to be that stupid.

I know that's you ATF, you can't fool me.

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>>34661616
Why would you think that anon?
Just tell me exactly what guns you carry and how you plan to use them

>>34661594
I will snatch every motherfucker birthday if someone breaks into my house

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>>34661594
>What will you do when Tyrone comes knocking?

>>34661594
>>34661625
Wow this is some edgy teenage shit right here.

>>34661612

>footfags

Of to the gas chamber you go.

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>>34663916

>>34661625
>>34661594
These some lebbit anti-gun cartoons or something?

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>>34664038
Stop trying to justify your childhood trauma through sexual fantasies.

>>34664046
its much worse

>>34663698
underrated

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>>34664067
What if I found my childhood trauma extremely arousing?

my house is laid out like a T, where the likeliest point of entry is the bottom of the T
my room is located on the right tip of the T, so i would sit there and wait until the nigger came up from the bottom to the top and shoot him right as he turned the corner.
either that or set myself up at the crossing and look down the bottom lane of the T and wait

>>34664046
Shitty forced maymay by an shitty youtube animator trying to get the Adult Swim [AS™] money. cuz lol random stoner XD humor

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>>34664955
notice the T shape shown in light grey
red arrows indicate possible enemy avenue of attack
green arrows show possible maneuvers

>>34665170
>apartmentcuck

>>34665205
>an apartment with two front doors
no, that's my house

>>34665316
oh. i thought that the scale was much bigger and that the two red arrows were coming from tyrone and jamal next door.

>>34665334
oh i see, let me label the rooms so it makes more sense

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>>34665334
>>34665364
do home invaders usually break in through windows, or is that something i shouldn't worry about?

>>34665428
sometimes. consider covering from your bedroom towards your living room window instead of covering from your spare room. do you have family?

>>34665442
y-yes, i still live with my parents for the time being
they sleep in the big room on the upper left corner

>>34665484
>y-yes, i still live with my parents for the time being
My man!

>>34661594
If it's not one of the Tyones I hang with, tell him to fuck off. He acts up, just open up a crater in the back of his head.

Nogunz for now so I'd chase him with a hunting knife. That scares niggers off usually. Most aren't armed where I go to school.

>>34665484
fuck me i didn't know you lived with royalty!

have you considered investing in some IP cameras? if you live on a quiet street you should be able to hear the dindus and locate them on the cameras before they break in.

i'd say your living room windows, and your parents bedroom windows aren't too much of a problem. the problem here seems to be the two front doors, and the living room window right next to your bedroom.

so, i'd say that you should just cover the glass window from your bedroom, ensure that nobody's there, and then if needed (i don't know, if you have a sister upstairs or something) round the corner and proceed into the hallway.

you really should just stay put and engage from where you are though. you don't want to panic and become an honorary ATF agent or something.

>>34661594
throw on my ear pro and get ready to blast away

>>34665565
kek
you're right, my house is really lacking in security because we live in a fairly upscale gated community, but there have been some break ins lately because these criminals truly will stop at nothing. besides, my house is right next to a steep slope that goes into a valley. this is a privately owned nature park, but it borders a crime rich poor part of town
there's a wall between the park and the crime zone, but not between the park and my neighborhood, so there is still some vulnerability.

i'm worried about my parents, tho, because the gun is kept in my room and i would have to cross the hallway line and expose myself if i wanted to guard their bedroom

i am the night, sleep is for mortals. as soon as i hear the van pull into my 5 acre property i sneak out my window to the lawn and disable all the power in the house. then i make my way to my outside gun stash and grab by crye plate carrier and shotgun. i wait for them by the car they plan to make off with my precious belongings by. i slash their tire with a quick motion and make off to the shaodws. i am the night. they are confused why their car is inoperational. their flashlights are antique compared to my NVGS. as quick as I can as they move to the slashed tire, i hop out from the bushes and shoot tyrone. darius hops around the van, little does he know i have a plan for this. i crawl around my lawn some more. when he goes to check tyrone, i shoot him in the legs and start yelling
kapitulerie schwarz despite using an american shotgun. i then call 911 and strip both of the blackies of their weapons and begin basic first aid treatment until the ambulance arrives.

>>34665640
cont.
i didn't even consider that if i fired from my bedroom into the living room i would run a big risk of shooting into my parents' bedroom and killing them
i have a .308 scout rifle in case you're wondering

>>34665663
yeaah you should probably get a shotgun.

>>34665678
probably right.
maybe next year, when i can afford another gun

>>34663710
The second one is from Kill Bill, you ninny.

>>34661594
>Do you have plans for home invasion?
Yep.
>What will you do when Tyrone comes knocking?
Shoot intruder, call police, in whatever order gets them both done as fast as possible.

I'd let loose all the children in my basement and then attack the burglar in the confusion

>>34661594
Yes, Mr. BATFE, I do.

>third floor apartment
>one door that's hard as balls to open
>door is louder than hell
>door is next to bright light on patio
>opens up to long hallway with super dim red lights
>tyrone and jamal can't see, but I can
>apply 12 gauge liberally to affected area until threat has ceased

>>34661594
>slap in a stripper clip
>affix bayonet
>get naked
>throw on helmet
>maybe GP-5 if have the time

Screaming "Eat my nugget, bitch"

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light em UP chief

>>34664949
You take a seat with all the other faggots in faggotville.

>>34661594
Neighbors bitch at me if I still have the garbage cans out the afternoon of collection day, I ain't about to find out how they would react to a bullet flying through their walls. Unless any would-be invaders come through the back door I'm running them through with my m44's bayonet

>>34661594
My plan is a semi auto 10 gauge with 20rd drum mag filled up with slugs.

something is going down.

>>34661594
Blast him and the other niggers with my suppressed 10.5 inch(19.25 with suppressor) 7.62x39 ar15 pistol using some hot hunting ammo and hot brass cases fmj.
First is 5 hunting ammo loaded
5 fmj
Then alternates
28 rounds in magazine
Extra mag as well
Red dot(want to get a tritium and fiber optic based one later)

>>34661612
F-F-F-FUCK MY DICK IS DIAMONDS
WHAT IS THIS HERESY, ILL SELL MY SOUL TO BECOME 2D JUST SO SHE CAN VERBALLY ASSAULT ME EVERY DAY

>>34661594

Simple, I detonate the 300 kg of TNT I've rigged in my basement.

I grab my Blackhawk 357, wife grabs ar pistol, daughter grabs her 12 gauge and we commence to make a steamy pile of Swiss dindu cheese . Then we have ice cream

>>34661594
The same goddamn thing I did when Tychonureese kept trying to steal my rims: stab the nigger with an M1860 Light Cavalry Saber. If he brings Shaundice and Tobi along, I'll put two goddamn rounds in all three of them.

Tired of this goddamn nigger.

glock 19 with hornady +p crit duty next to bed w/ surefire g2x pro
1911 sig w/ viridian laser/light combo wilson 10rd mag loaded with RIP ammo in drawer
AR w/ strobe and eotech beside dresser
rem 870 w/ buck slug staggered load on wifes side
scar 16 w/ 1-4 optic near window for driveway coverage
glock 17 same ammo as 19 with 30 rd mag along with chest rack and med kit and m4 staged in closet for super SHTF

>>34665484
>notice stairs by kitchen
Your parents are some of those Rockefeller type? I live with my mom in a small shit shack sized house.

>>34661594
>Hear heavy ass Tyrones break in
>Grab bedside AR with full magazine in
>Open door quietly and look down hall to make sure they havent gotten that far
>Slowly walk into living room (hallway connected)
>Clear living room and kitchen
>When see Tyrone then immediately to kill
>Tinnitus for the rest of my life because no ear pro

>>34661594
I keep a rifle in my closet as well as a plate carrier.
I just finished replacing all the lights in my house with smart lights.
If some one breaks in I tell Alexa To activate Intruder mode.
All the lights start flashing red and this comes on over our home speaker system.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXtujxT9rzA
Now I need to find a way to connect fog machines to Alexa.
I also want to find a way to be able to seal my home if that happens, but it seem inordinately expensive.
I will have to record a video of it when I get home.

>hear floor board creak outside room
>Finger safe installed on bottom side of bed drops Colt Delta Elite into palm
>Grab tac.flashlight from night stand.
>Proceed to clear house.
>Master, guest, hall bath, (clear). Head to stairs and hear voices.
>Hold position with cover at top of stairs.
>Jamal has my microwave stuffed full of my crappy silverware (that looks nice.) .38 special in hand, while turning corner
>Jamal takes first step only to meet tac.light. "Drop it!"
>drops all but gun.
>Tap, tap, tap.
>Jamal slumps backwards. While something crashes in the kitchen.
>Sounds moving away. Begin to descend stairs.
>"Whoa hold it." Says a foreign voice the next room over.
>"Aint no need for that" the voice continued.
>Bang, turn corner to find grams had come up from her basement apartment.
>Grandma is racking another into her 870, standing of tyrone.
>Get that light off of me you little shit.
>Sorry grams, you good.
>Yeah, but we're not.
>Wat u mean.
>I have seen Tyrone hanging with them chinks.
> Not the kind that fix our internet.
> Is that a problem I ask.
>Triads you cunt, Jamal and Tyrone were just probes.
>Well fuck me for no knowing, I say while following grams into her level of the house.
>Take key from my neck and open wall safe to armoury.
>Grams fits scoter (her puggle) with his custom made body armour.
>Grams flips antiques roadshow off and turns on security feed.
>Two riceburners pull up as 8 Asians gets out.
>6 dudes 1 chick and one Asian goddess all strapped.
>All have sbr's and pistol side arms.
>Squints are pack grams hollers. While I am in fun time closet.
>You wanna go with protocol A5 or is this a D7 kinda situation I ask.
> We're gonna do a C4 with a shuck and buck.
>Wtf are you talking about old lady.
>I stick my head out and see grams holding two claymores.
>Alright, I am listening.

>>34665428
Typical home invasion:
>Knock on front door to see if anyone is home
>No answer, move to back door
>Kick in door or break glass to open door

Almost no invasion will involve someone 'picking a lock,' so they are usually pretty loud right at the start, and they generally last about 4 minutes.

Entry through a window is uncommon; it is more common if the window is unlocked. Breaking a window means glass, which means being cut, which means leaving blood.

Most burglars will be scared off by you indicating your home, like turning on a light, etc.

>>34667161
Loading alternating ammo unless you're a machine gunner with tracers is pure autism, my man.

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>>34663698

>>34661594
Reinforced doors, house is on a crawl space, so windows are a bitch to get into (they stay locked regardless), glock 19 by my bed, mossberg 500 in bedroom closet, guest bedroom closet has a safe full of guns (no kids, so all outside of safe are loaded and a few in the safe stay loaded), but most importantly I have multiple large dogs who will wake me and one of them would most certainly bite someone.

I go run shooting drills at least once per week where I go through different scenarios and stoppages, and I have some relevant muhreen corpse experience as well. I fell okay about my chances.

>>34669236
>Triads spilt into groups of two.
>Chick and Asian goddess use crouching tiger powers to jump 15 to master balcony
>Two head around back
>Two head to front
>Two head towards side window.
>Front door team enters with maximum noise.
>While window teams breaks glass.
>Rear is met with an unlocked door as the enter the basement.
>Rear navigates through years of stacked newspapers and stupid whicker baskets.
>Front discovers Jamal laying face down on ascending steps.
>Moves body to access stairs.
>Boom. Claymore under Jamal. Front team now in pieces.
>Window team rushes from den through dining room towards stairs.
>Clear corners but not ceilings while I drop down with Bowie knife into window team rear.
>Quick turn of wrist to pull then flick across others neck.
>Red ribbons paint the wall as explosion rumbles from basement.
>Rear team failed to recognized the forced path they were on.
>Old lady clutter lead them to a dead end.
>Removal of keystone topples stacked news papers around them.
>Rear considers position fortified until fragmentation grenades flops in laps.
>Grams and scoter make their way up to main floor.
>I head up remains of stairs.
>Bowie knife stowed AR readied.
>Reach top of stairs and chick is entering guest room while goddess is exiting master.
>Goddess sees me covered in blood of my enimes. (Licks her lips)
>Goddess puts sbr up to chicks head and pulls trigger.
>I step towards her and she turns her gun to me.
> Bang,Bang
>Simultaneous shots burying into each rifle destroying the guns.
>Both our hands hover over sidearms.
>Quick draw, bang
>Grams peaks head out on to the first floor with .357 in hand.
>Where are they scoter, she asks.
>Scoter goes out into kitchen while grams follows.
>Grr bark bark. Scoter lunges, biting at the throat of triad not fully killed by jamal/claymore
>Grams raised the hammer then dropped it,. Bang.
>Check to make sure they are dead you fucking neckbeard.

>>34661594
Put 6 shots in him and wait for the cops to come

>>34669411
I used to have 3 kinds of ammo loaded, when I couldn't buy quality hollow points for my pistol locally. 1st mag was half Critical defense then Silver bear HP, 2nd mag was mostly Silver bear HP then Brown Bear FMJ.

>>34661594
im bigger than Tyrone

>>34669630
>Grams spins and fan fires twice to send grenade face tumbling down the stairs he just crawled.
>Asian goddess has gun shot from her hand.
>Presents herself to me since I am awesome.
>Fuck for an hour then make her breakfast.
>Grandma is mopping the kitchen while I make coffee.
>Grams I have more money than you could ever need.
>Why do you keep borrowing from these guys
>Grams replies, I am 84 I will dye soon, might as well have a good time.
>You know you like it.
>4hrs later cops show up.
>Pay them off.
>Now we are range buddies.