>taking a walk in the woods >just around the bend you spot

>>34642238
Find cover and do my best to not look like a 2-liter before a hail of gunfire obliterates those poor little buggers from a few hundred yards away.

Fucking Hickock, man.

>>34642297
top kek

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>>34642238

>>34642238
Tactically magdump my bowels into my underwear and then magdump a drum of buckshot, preferably from a saiga, into that group of loathsome creatures.

>>34642424
My fucking sides.

>>34642307
>>34642494
That's not funny. My brother died that way.

>>34642498
a ~65-year-old man shot him in the 2 liter?

>>34642502
It was fucking brutal. "Execution" is a way too gentle word for it.

>>34642498
your brother is a 2 liter?

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>>34642424

>>34642238
Those are wild dews man, best to just back away slowly and hope they don't pursue.

>6 million dews.webm

>>34642424
>>34642625
this fucking thread. stop, my sides are in orbit

>>34642498
*gets shot from distance*

>Shoot bottles to shit
>Proceed to thank buds gun shop and federal premium

>>34642238
I wonder how the plants and surrounding wild life cope with all that sugar and aspartame soaking into the ground...

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>be me
>be innawoods
>hiking for a new camping ground
>step and hear the crunch of plastic
>I look down
>oh my God...
>bottles, bottles everywhere. They weren't even given a chance
>then I hear it
>he he he he, now let's see what we got here...
>I run, running as fast as I can
>Ready my rifle and dive into a ditch for cover
>drink water from my bottle and set it down next too me
>silence for what seems like forever...
>"let's see if we can hit that one over there"
>BANG
>water bottle explodes next to me
>I turn around to run
>But he's right on top of me.
>I beg to tell him im not a soda
>he rips my shirt off and sees my 2 litter dollar store branding
>I beg for mercy
>let's get this 2 litter here
>BANG
>I become another victim of the 2 litter genocide

>>34643453
>today's ammo is some 115gr 9mm from federal they always make good stuff
>and thanks to buds gun shop for lending me this. I do appreciate all my viewers and fans

>>34643447
brawndo has what plants crave. its got electrolytes

>>34643447
Probably no worse when compared to the amount of lead.

its said that some 50 billion ants live in Hickoks berm

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>>34642625

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oh look
a couple 2 liters


*gunfire intensifies*

a heh heh
Hickok45 here

>>34644249
I feared the day Lt. Gen. Mikhail Kalashnikov passed away. I cried on that day, and drank much vodka in the days that followed. I fear the day that hickok45 passes away, and I will weep like a fucking baby the day it happens. I might just sing the American National Anthem, and it will be the first time in my personal history. God bless him now, and let us hope that that day that I fear does not come for an insurmountable amount of days beyond what we can reasonably fathom. Decades and decades and decades. That is what I wish for him. While I am drunk like now, and while I am sober.

>>34646386
Death comes for us all eventually. All we can hope for is that we died with our heart full of joy and without regrets. And I have a feeling he's very proud of what he's wrought in his life.

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>this fucking thread

Please tell me someone screencapped the "racist hickok" posts.

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>>34646386
>Life Was Good

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>>34642238
>check expiration dates
>steal off with youngest one and do unspeakable things until it's completely flat
>put it back without label
>now it's a cream soda

>>34646521
That's profound, anon. Thank you.

>>34646585
It's not, you're just drunk and I'm just a blabbermouth. But I'm happy that I brightened up your evening with a bit of bitersweet melancholy.

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>>34642238

I have a question. I have many questions.

WHERE IS HE GETTING ALL THESE BOTTLES FROM?

He's clearly not going to the store, because there's never any label marks that come with trying to rip them off. Is he buying empty plastic bottles in bulk? Is he filling them with water and food coloring? I never see any foam when he's shooting, but maybe I'm just blind. Is he single handedly keeping some Tennessee bottle manufacturer in business? Do they know what he's doing? Do they know what he's doing to their products that they spent so much time on? The man is Hitler to plastic. And god forbid it actually IS soda. How much sugarcane is he responsible for wasting? How much CO2 has he released into the air? How much toxic, acidic liquid is he casting onto the ground all over the world, ruining it forever? How many plants will never grow on earth he has tread upon, leaving a path of desecration in his wake? HOW MUCH DEATH AND DOOM HAS THIS MAN WROUGHT!?

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>>34646547

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>>34646547
>>34646639

>>34646636
you know there are machines for making soda, he reloads everything else so why not bottle blanks?

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>>34646657

of course, how could we forget the excellent deals that Hornaday is now offering on Mountain Dew dies

>>34644137
underappreciated filename

>>34642498
Tell him to stop wearing bright neon with a matching fez then. Waaaay too easy to get mistaken for a 2 liter these days

>>34646636
>How much sugarcane is he responsible for wasting?

It was corn syrup all along - nothing of value was lost.

>>34644137
Remember the Sodacaust