> first job was in a kitchen without air conditioning >

>>34621250
>Take apart mechanical pencil and lay the parts out on my desk
>clean them with a napkin I stole from the lunchroom even though they're not dirty and made of plastic
>put the pencil back together and feel a small amount of satisfaction as the spring clicks into place
>load sticks of lead into the holding chamber one at a time
>resume Spanish test and get a C

I was that kid

>>34621250

I walk through the woods in pitch black nights silently pretending that im doing jackal shit to protect rural white communities from roving bans of mudskin marauders from the city, after a collapse situation.

I have a suppressed subsonic .300 ar and a NOD and i come across twenty noisy niggers moving north through the woods to find food and rape victims in a community of white farmers in the rural area.

I crouch in a ravine, breathing through my mouth. I plan the first five targets and start shooting. Pop pop pop pop pop watching niggers drop drop drop. They panic, shooting in every direction and stumbling, but i am as cold as ice. I deliver rounds to center mass until nothing is moving and then shoot every body again.

Jackals are known for their extremely cunning and opportunistic predation. I look up at the moon, and know that i am the moonman, just like from when there was internet and funny youtube songs and 4chan. Tomorrow me and someone else will bring an atv to collect whateveris worth taking. I have murdered twenty jigs in cold blood and i pray to god i catch another raiding party tonight. I continue on my patrol.

In the morning i will walk into the small farm town and they will ask where all the bullets went end i will tell them. Then i will sleep. I will wake and eat, and we will discuss the activities emenating the nightmare occuring in the city.

And when the night falls i will patrol again, the angel of extinction, searching for interlopers. For i am the jackal. I am moonman. I have killed over five hundred humans since the collapse. Before that, i was a professional ranch hunter, and killed over 15000 feral pigs. Humans are easier because they make more noise and cant smell.
I

>Fixing robots at work. Pretend I'm building bombs to blow up the infidels.

>>34621413
cringe

>>34621250
>> Driving a winding road or ride rollercoasters and pretend I'm a fighter pilot perusing a bandit
>>pressure washer is flamethrower and concrete is Japanese fortifications

Those were both too fucking real. When I used to smoke weed, I'd drive alone in the pitch dark and imagine myself as a bomber pilot on a B-17 bombing run during WWII over Germany, and my speedometer and stuff were my instrument panels.

Also:
>sometimes when I know I'm alone when I run up stairs, I pretend I'm holding an MP40
>looking for disk in tall grass/woods while frolfing, pretend I'm on patrol in Vietnam
>purposely go for a walk on a really fucking cold winter day to try to appreciate how horrible Operation Typhoon in Russia 1941 was
>throw short sticks while hiking and pretending they're potato masher grenades

>worked at Amazon
>practiced TD on handheld scanner
>imagine fighting a bunch of loud hispanics a la The Raid style
>look at different items to be used as weapons
>imagine escaping the warehouse after a pile of bodies is racked

Also
>in friends pool, smoked some weed
>wading around, saying 'Navy Seals' every time I do a breaststroke
>to the people outside my high bubble looked like some overweight kid muttering something about seals

ah autism...

bumping this shit

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>>34621250
>work in security checkpoint
>pretend I'm a metrocop in City 17

>cutting down banana trees with machete
>imagine I'm innajungle, clearing a path for a squad to follow

>carrying small items
>hold them in low ready stance

>use filing cabinet
>AP loaded, one round

>be a carpenter
>carry 2 x 4 like a rifle if they are short enough
>been called out on it a few times

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>Disassemble pen
>Keep parts in pencil box
>Take them out one by one
>Discretely assemble weapon
>Cap screws on last
>It's a silencer
>Hold pen like pistol
>Assassinate class bully
>No one notices
>Disassemble weapon, stow in pencil box
>Another successful mission

>tactically stalk my cat with unloaded gun in my underwear at 3 am
>he fuckin wins

Little fucker gets into it and hides from me and will jump out at me. Im training my self to clear houses of little pitch black jumpscare monsters.

>>34621915

Are you me?

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>>34621250
>helping friend of mine finish up some yard work for some random people he does as a side gig.
>doing the weedwacking and pretending I'm sweeping for mines
>see the wife and her smoking daughter coming down the road so I hurry up to finish the stone path that connects their drive way to the homes front door just as they get out of the car
>say to myself "she's all clear, it's safe to advance" just as they walk in front of me
>except I don't say it to myself and I say it out loud, probably really loud because I have my noise canceling headphones on and I'm listening to Brighton rock
Thank god I couldn't hear what they responded with and I kept my eyes on the grass to avoid the strange rooms

>>34621413
"Breathing through my mouth", is'nt that what you always do?

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>>34622701
I used to jam 3-4 of these things into a belt around my chest and pretend I was a pirate. A brace of pistols makes you death itself in games of guns.

One time I imagined like 100 kids on an island camp ground were a threat to an unified Aryan Norway.

>>34622446
What's our favorite color?

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>be me as as kid
>live In Nebraska
>Thought cowboys were the coolest
>Used to watch for a few dollars more and blazing saddles every other day
>Always wanted to be just like Buffalo Bill Cody
>I used to ride around in my bike yelling "get out of my land you dirty injuns!" Mom says I have to stop, dad encourages me
>eventually grow out of it....I still accidentally call Mexicans injuns

>>34621250
>> putting batteries in remote, flashlight, etc. and pretending their guns
Me

>>34621250
>Bolt door latch
>Pretend I'm chambering a round in a Mosin or Springfield

>>34621250
>driving long distance
>hitting rumble strips makes a BRRRRRRRRT sound
>hit them deliberately while pretending I'm an A-10 pilot on a gunrun

>>34624040
same

>be on herbicide spray team
>Stomping through forests and wetlands like it's 'nam
>Hold spray nozzle in low ready position.
>Mow down hundreds of weeds a day

I got fired from that job, probably in part for my lack of focus. Now I've got another forestry job and I get to cut through the forest with a machete.
Plus everything vaguely gun-shaped is a gun once I get ahold of it.

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>>34621250
> go into workshop
> pick up drill
> pic related

>>34624242
Having trigger discipline with power tools seems like a good thing.

>>34624242
you are not actively drilling yet your safety is disengaged. poor form

>>34622736
>>34621457

You guys do not deserve posts like this masterpiece >>34621413
God /k/ is fucking awful