Silent "flumph" at 2 AM and your brain turning to mush

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>>34605639
>Silencer
>Silent
he didnt read /k/ at all, it seems

i-i dind't get shot b-because i turned on my everything-proof force field before i went to sleep, TYLER!
>inb4 "i shot you with force field disabling bullets"
w-well you didn't know about m-my force field disabling bullet - disabling shield that i keep on my nightstand, TYLER!
ha! you can't damage me, T Y L E R!

Release the dead man's switch causing a shotgun to discharge into the 400 pounds of tannerite in my basement, killing the invader and ensuring nobody else gets to enjoy my shit.

He got himself Gen2 NODs (minimum gen for actual usefulness) and either paid a tax stamp or got his glawk to cycle reliably with an oil filter on the muzzle. Hes clearly smart, well-off or both. So why is he wasting his time on a home invasion which will at most net him a few iPods, a laptop and a half decade old flatscreen TV, while risking the penalty of multiple homicides?

>Silent "flumph" at 2 AM
So, what, he hit my pillow with the butt of his gun? Because that's not how suppressors work you dumb nigger.

>>34605639
>home invader goes to /k/ for research on some home invasion
>see green texts after green texts of horrifying atrocities
>talk of keeping the intruder chained up in a basement for endless anime inspired rape fetishes
>see's pictures of mouse traps rigged to shoot shotgun shells full of bee's at unwanted guests
>first time they see a dragon dildo
>can almost feel the strange room they've been given by the hoards of vile internet deviants that wait for them to break in
>they decide to never break into some ones home because fuck all of that shit

>>34605639
>begins scenario with the person dying
>proceeds to ask what that dead person would do

OP, take a lap

>>34605639
>Wat do?
I'm already dead, I guess I go limp?

>>34605657
>what is .22 bouncing inside your head

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Jokes on him, i'm actually sleeping inside the police station i work at.

>tfw over 30 armed men on guard with FALs

>>34605672
The only right answer in this thread

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>>34605639
>niggers
>reading
>reading on a weeb website
>being smart
Nah

>He pauses after administering the killing shot
>In the green haze of the night vision, something seems off about the corpse lying limp in the bed
>Upon closer inspection, its not a corpse at all
>But a collection of pillows and clothes arranged in the image of a man
>The hairs on his neck stand on end, a cold chill runs down his spine
>A voice behind him
>Heh, bad move my friend, bad move indeed...
>He spins and fires, but the tunnel vision of his goggles makes his sight easy to avoid, his bullet passed through empty space where I was seconds ago
>I'm already behind him again
>The sound of Japanese steel leaving scabbard (Saya or 鞘 to be exact)
>His body swings wildly, trying to track my movements and fires wildly, shattering drywall to dust
>But his mind has accepted that hes already dead
>Heh, nothing personal, Kokujin...
>I strike

>>34605892
OP here. Made me laugh in RL. This is gold.

>>34605639
Send in my second dog whilst I'm busy getting my gun. The decoy is dead, and my time is now.

>>34605892
>personal
personnel

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>>34605892
9/11 absolutely cutting edge

>>34605892
psssh/10

>>34605639
>little did he know it was actually a DEMON PUPPET created with my expert ninja skills
>"heh, you're outta your league, kid"
>teleports behind him and slice him in half with my katana.
>"pssh, piece of cake"

If you were to capture your home invader alive, would you rape him afterwards?

>>34605669
this
try again, OP

>>34605892
>kokujin
top zozzle

>>34606057
Since he killed my family, I would eat him over the course of several weeks.

>>34606314
Or make him eat himself.

>>34605672
>thinking only a gun can detonate tannerite

>>34605639
/k/ really is a Magical Place, just like the Neverland Ranch in the summer. Full of young children that need a good raping.

>>34605750
What kind of nigger country has police with FALs?

>>34606510
Nobody "needs" a raping.

>>34606628
the OP and now you

>>34605639
Nothing, apparently my life became a bad airport paperback while I wasn't looking.

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>>34605892

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>>34605892

>>34605672
>Shooting tannerite with a shotgun

>>34605726
This.
>>34605892
Also this the most.

annnnnd there ya go OP, anymore stupid questions?...faggot.

>>34605669
My name is Tyler and wat is this

>>34606628
Nobody needs a whiny bitch either

>>34605677
Clearly hes a time traveler from the future and you are the next hitler.

>>34606628
Rapee
>>34607057
Rapist

>>34605639
My dog barks when a gnat farts. Good luck.

>>34605639
>methodically executed your dog and your entire family.
>Wat do?

Stay very, very still.

>>34605639
What the fuck am i doing that someone who can afford all this shit wants to kill me?
usually home invaders are niggers, stupid teenagers, crackheads or a combination of the three

>>34606513
Rhodesia

>>34605639
>It's a hologram

>>34606513
Ireland.

>>34605639
Fortunately or not, I'm a low value target. I live in a decent house, but I'm only good for the value of my guns and electronics, maybe my debit card and minor pawnable items. What that means is that the only people who might be coming to get me are average burglary negroes. They're going to have about as much finesse in home invasion as a band of chimpanzees, and any sophisticated tools or weapons they use will be stolen and they will be terribly unlikely to know their proper use or capability.

If, on the other hand, I were an elected official or corporate CEO or some other high value target, I'd expect the red carpet treatment in any assassination attempt. Bitch better come with suppressors, alarm avoidance tech, and something that at least reeks of Mi5 operative status, or it's just a fucking insult.

(Take home message: ain't no nigga 'bout to cap yo' ass wit' any mo' brains than a baboon. He'll kill yo' ass, sho' as shit, but it ain't gonna be all James Bond and sheeeit.

>>34605639

>mentally retarded heroin addict
>researching thoroughly and spending thousands of dollars on equipment
>in order to commit a major felony for a few hundred dollars in stolen goods

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>>34605639
>implying he'd even make it to my room
>implying I don't flood my air-sealed house with CO every night after donning my SCBA mask
>implying my biggest concern isn't tripping over all the home invader bodies every morning.

>>34605639

If someone was kind enough to shoot me in my sleep, I'd hope they'd at least ask me first so I can put out all of my valuables as a thank-you.

>>34605639
>night goggles
>Wat do?
Well since I'm already dead, probably nothing. Stupid question.

>>34607224
Lal

>>34605639
>140 db
>silent "thump"

>>34605639
Get my 800 lumense flash light on my rifle and wait for him the round the corner for when I slightly press my finger on the pressure pad and blind his ass before he shoot him and if he survives I'll slowly torture his ass for killing my dog and familie

>>34605816
Is this just a loose mag or catastrophic over-gasing/water expulsion.

>>34610224
CCI Quiet 40gr 700fps does not make that much noise.

>>34605892
>I strike
Got me

>>34610656
Water does not compress like air and forced the mag out. The only damage is properly a deformed magazine catch hole or a stripped magazine catch release.

>>34610719
It probably won't kill you either.

>>34610224
Unsuppressed handguns are generally around 115 to 120dB

>>34605639
Well since I'm dead, I'll haunt the fag for a bit and knock some shit over in his house for fun before hitting the afterlife jazz lounges.

>>34610854
>.22 Plinkster: "CCI Stinger (advertised 1640fps) penetrated Nine (9) drywall sheets. Out of the rifle, the CCI Velocitor (advertised 1435fps) passed through Eleven (11) sheets"

Penetration is not the issue, shot placement is.

>>34605639
post about it on burmese community theater forum

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post pics on /k/

>>34610961
Uh
He specified 700 fps
So...

>>34610719
>>34610854
>>34611301
Off topic but what is the point of cci quiet if a multi pump air gun at walmart is 640fps? Do people buy cci quiet and plink around their neighborhoods hoping people just think it's a pellet gun?

>>34611397
nvm after a quick google search it turns out that's exactly what it's used for. Carry on.

>>34605639
>fat fuck decided to buy a gun and a gun trust
>gets butt flustered by a chad on facebook making fun of his man tits at the beach
>buys a suppressor after the wait
>decides to crash into the chad's home at 4 am, waking up the dog and the whole fucking neighborhood with the sound of fat gloshing across weakened and uncalcified bones
>sprints slowly into nearest bedroom and spies chad
>shoots at chad's head wildly with fat, greasy, sweaty fingers
>gets shot to pieces by chad's 11/10 girlfriend who chad takes to the range daily to shoot his Glock
>chad proceeds to smash supermodel girlfriend on deceased fatty's leftover folds

>>34606628
>t. somebody who needs a good raping

>kommando stumbles into my house and shoots my decoy orphan
>I knew the day would come
>bust out of closet behind him and stab him in the ass with my CSGO replica crimson web shadow knives
>laugh at this peasants weapon choice
>shit tier german pleb gun in meme caliber
>draw my akimbo derringers to finish the job

>>34605639
Nothing, cause i'd be dead you blubbering retard.

>>34611301
https://youtu.be/Kjn084Bq64o?t=54s
Coconuts can make a decent skull medium for testing.

Since this is a magical hypothetical where the burglar has, for some reason, two brain cells to rub together

And this is also a magical hypothetical in which he has singled me out for the lead therapy treatment, rather than just using those brain cells to realize it will be easier and less risky to just rob the place when I'm not here

Clearly I have seen him casing my house, and his NVGs fail to pick out the fishing line tripwire that discharges the air cannon I have rigged up pointing at my bedroom door for just such a reason

It will be the strangest call the police will ever have taken - the weapon, fifty dollars of PVC and a valve, and the projectile a mostly splattered potato that shattered his sternum

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>>34605639
How did he make it past the horde of Mexicans who live in the same trailer park as I do? Like some fat fuck who browses /k/ and maxed his mommy's credit card going 'quietly' enter this metal box emporium without alerting every fucking dog/cat/car alarm?

>>34605639
>some fucktarded /k/riminal bumbles through my second story bedroom window
>knocks over rhe liquor bottles on the shelf, shatters them, spills my GOD DAMN VODKA everywhere
>his 300lb ass hits the floor hard enough to make the XBOne jump a couple of inches
>I take my nightstand knife and stab him in the asshole

>>34605639

How did he silently kick down my metal doors?

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>>34611494
that's sum gud shit

>>34605677
Because you can't kill the rich; people don't like that.

>>34605731
>>34605731
The deadliest bullet known to man.

>>34606016
Too late, and didn't try hard enough

>>34610961
>hey, quiet .22 can do it. Just check out these hyper velocity .22's penetration

>>34605716

No guns faggot detected. It's become such a meme to say suppressors don't work like they do in movies. That faggots like you who repeat everything they hear literally change peoples ideas on what is true and what isn't based on ignorance and some next level insecurity.

Fact is. My .22 suppressed only makes two sounds. Whatever the bullet strikes, and the sound of the action.

Extremely quiet

>>34610854

It absolutely will kill you as long as it hits the CNS

>>34611397

Turns out you're stupid and wrong.

Even .22 cal pellet guns shoot projectiles with weights around 14 grains at 800fps

A .22 cal rifle shoots bullets that are 40bl grain, and even 60 grains, heavier than the 55 grain 5.56, at 850fps.

Pellet gun will not reliably kill anything bigger than a squirrel.

The .22 suppressed can easily kill a man. And believe it or not. It's actually quieter than the pellet gun.

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>>34605639
>Navigated the minefield that formerly was my yard without a map
>That gay ass Geneva meeting or whatever

Shoulda sprung for the metal detector, better luck next time.

>>34605657
A silencer will seriously quiet the noise 9mm luger makes.

>>34614288
At 3 in the morning inside of your house it will not be very quiet.

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>>34605726
I smiled,thanks for that

Have my favorite home defense story

>>34605639

Laugh my way to hell because night-time burglaries are the least productive and leaving bodies at every job is guaranteed to get the faggot in question caught soon enough.

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>>34605892
o fug, my dog thought i was choking, 10/10

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>>34605892
>Kokujin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-IkUdg9YWM

>>34610853
Did you miss the entire top rail blowing off?

>>34606513
>>34606513
That's a Daewoo, not a FAL. It's Duterte.

>>34605639
>implying I'm asleep at 2am and not drunkenly playing War Thunder.

>>34614613
They were referring to the post, not the pic. Anon was probably a Brazilian or something.