You're stuck in prison and can't get a gun You got

>>34600729
Commissary. Become a jew.

>>34600729
A good lawyer

>>34600741
You deserve jail you dam dirty jew

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a derringer

>>34600766
I'm trying to do a no guns weapons thread

>>34600811
oooh.... grenades

>>34600729
Get out of jail free card

>>34600729
nothing, i serve my time and don't act like a nigger.

>>34600826
Good luck getting that back to your cell
Gotta shove it up your ass

60mm mortar round

>>34600843
White nigger?

>>34600855
GODDAM

>>34600860
x3

>>34600729
A Serbu BFG50.

>>34600896
BIG FUCKIN GUN

>>34600729
A rock hammer and a poster of asa akira.

>>34600741

This. I used to work at a commissary company (company sells products to the inmates) and it's big fucking money. Like we're charging $80 for a carton of cheap bootleg cigarettes, a single pack of ramen noodles is $1, a 20 oz coke is about $4, etc.

>>34601133
>ramen noodles
Do the inmates have stoves/microwaves now? Where do they even GET money? Salaries from in-prison work? Savings? Family?

>>34601148
http://wkbca.xankd.servertrust.com/v/vspfiles/downloadables/prison_recipes.pdf

Some prisons have microwaves in a common room, or somewhere else where inmates have access. Others don't, but felons are creative.

As far as the money goes, company I worked for allowed relatives/friends/etc to add money using credit/debit/check. There was one guy who bought 2-300 worth of muscle milk and supplement powders weekly that always had 6-8k in his account. Mexican so probably a dope dealer. They might get caught, give their money to a relative, and then that relative sends it to them. At some prisons, if the inmates have no money, they're still entitled to get little kits the prison pays for. Will be a few small things like toothbrush, soap, etc.

In many cases, they don't get paid for prison work. Depends on the state and institution. In some places they might not get paid, but doing work detail for 'x' amount of time and being a good customer might get time taken off, etc. Everywhere is different.

Most popular items: ramen noodles, jalepeno cheese puffs, tortilla shells, nacho cheese packet, jalepeno packet, pretty much anything hot. Also, we even fucking sold individual salt and pepper packets (like you get at a restaurant). 10 single packets would cost an inmate $2.

>>34601305
>anything hot
Probably to fuck snitches up by rubbing it in their eyes.

>>34601148
They'll do shit like get a back of cheetos (or something like that), empty most of them out, crush up the ramen, pour it in the bag with the chips, crush it all up, add the flavor packet, and finally just add warm tap water, wrap it as tightly as they can, and let it soak for a while.

>>34601339

I guy I went to college with years ago did three years in State for armed robbery of a pawn shop. Said sometimes guys would make another guy eat a bunch of hot shit before sucking his dick, to give a little extra sensation. And loose stools make good lube, though I hope he was just fucking with me on that one.

>we sold a lot of vasoline and baby lotion too. A hotel/airport travel tube of baby lotion would cost them fuckers $3.50 IIRC

a remotely controlled shotgun shell for my anal cavity. I've had way too much of my celly's shit

>>34601372

I've heard about that. I think they call it "a setup".

>tfw degenerate younger brother who hangs out with niggers and knows all of this shit

Surprised he ain't been sent off to one, yet.

>>34601396
Honestly, the entire prison culture makes me believe that 90% of the fucks who are in should be gassed.
>someone get's like 5-10 years or some shit
>don't take advantage of the education/college/trade opportunities half the time
>constantly feed into the prison culture bullshit
>have "women majority workplace"-tier drama all the fuck time
Gay as fuck.

>>34600743
Dude the trial is already over.

>>34600729
A pardon.

>>34601525
a REALLY GOOD LAWYER

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A firing pin and 22 rounds. Make a pistol from plumbing.

>>34600729
Bar of soap and some shoe polish

>>34600729
The key.

Flash bang, poison syringes, pcp for when I'm outnumbered can't think of any other pseudo combat drugs, chicken tendies, a rhinoceros horn, and a rubber chicken.

>>34601525

You act like cases are never re opened. Not rare for a judge to pass one sentence, then have another judge step in and throw in a tougher one. Even after the case is closed, your lawyer can work to have a reduced sentence, or bring new evidence to the judge to prove you were not guilty.

>>34600729
Suicide vest.

>>34600729
Electronics like phones and videogames, cigarettes and booze

Fuck trying to break out with whatever pop gun he can smuggle in and getting shot by Officer mcdidn'tfinishtechnicalschool, I'd rather spend a couple years making mad bank selling cellphones and cigarettes to people and spend my downtime relaxing and working out

>>34600729
14 pounds of C4, a remote detanator, and a load of blasting caps

>>34600741
This.
Ask him to sneak in boxes of top ramen and oysters and use them to hire the biggest nigger you can find as a guard, then use the rest to become the prisoners greatest ally.
Nobody will touch you if you are the best and only reliable source of ramen and oysters.
https://youtu.be/ooGLzqDGd0w?t=358

edgy answer - fentanyl to kill prisoners

real answer - wine yeast, to make booze from fruit, water, what every sugary drink I can get.

>>34601380
>loose stools make good lube, though I hope he was just fucking with me on that one.
I would think so, any amateur gay knows that saliva works.

Or an amateur gay can ask for a lube so when a nigga stick it in, it don't hurt!

>>34600847
Some guy did that a long time ago, it exploded when they tried to get it out of his ass

>>34600729
I was in jail for two DUIs. Lotion is what is in the highest demand.