Green text thread Anyone have the one about the the pistol knocking

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>>34522307
This?

>>34522328
Yes! Thanks anon!

Anyone have giant M1 Garand?

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>>34522350
I'll bump with some old ones, if anybody has smth new/rare?

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>>34522368
here ya go

Requesting the "you need to HYDRATE", Marine!" story about the McDonalds milkshake

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>>34522388

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>>34522419
not /k/, but still...

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>>34522430

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>>34522307

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>>34522527
>Shouting Heil Hitler in perfect English

>>34522430
Oh man. I need to start lurking /his/. This is gold.

>>34522897
oh fuck I remember this

Does anyone have the one about Charles Carpenter?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Carpenter_%28lieutenant_colonel%29?wprov=sfla1

Requesting any and all /k/oko the loco green texts. I don't believe this guy is real.

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Don't really have anything to contribute, but bumping with some /fit/.

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>>34526200

>>34523055
same here m8, was some good shit

Anyone have the anon who jizzed on the bee? He posted a webm and everything.

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>>34527475
That was really hard to get through.

Does anyone have the You wouldnt fuck a gun, would you? thread where things become emotional very fast?

>>34522929
Never seen this one before. Probably facke as fuck, also funny as fuck

>>34522897

Anybody got a cap of the rest of this thread?
I kinda want to see the reactions.

>>34522419
holy shit, imagine the balls on his guy. Did he survive the war?

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>>34522307

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>>34522307

Inna Gan
> Inna willy-wocka (chinook)
> Trying to land at shitty Observation post uppamountain
> Been trying to land for the past hour
> Can’t due to heavy fire
> Like bien dien phu 2.0 down there
> Got this guy sitting opposite me
> Imagine wendell out of the simpsons
> Pale as shit, shaking from the air sickness
> Throwing evasive manoeuvres that a ballerina would struggle to do.
> Our original Ugly escort nearly dry
> Each get given one air sickness bag each
> Everyone uses there’s
> Prick opposite me needs another one as he’s filled his up
> Crew chief tell him they’re fresh out
> Chinooks gonna grab height, uglys gonna act as bait, Chinooks going to dive into the OP quick
> Manoeuvre starts and we see nothing but sky outside
> See this guy going to lay a pavement pizza
> Calmly he undoes his admin pouch
> Throws up into admin pouch
> Land violently and throws up next to the ramp
> He runs to disembark
> Slips on own puke front first
> Chunder in his pouch comes squirting out like an ejaculation straight into his face
> Slides down the ramp into the m60 tail gun knocking himself out
Nicknames pouches or kangaroo after that

Entertaining thread so far. Danke.

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>>34534650

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>>34522397

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>>34522849
Holy FUCK.

>>34527612
My new hero.

>>34534661
Kekked heartily.

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>>34527612

>Some giggling asshole in a motorized kite shows up at walking pace and start lobbing rockets at you

been a while since I had a good laugh, thanks

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Pic related

>Be me
>In stack with fire team
>Am number 3 of 4
>First two enter room, knocked out instantly, one is twitching, eyes rolled back in head
>"O fuck.avi"
>Pitch black, strobe lights and smoke everywhere
>Metallica playing full blast
>"This is the end.png"
>The 2 enemy target us last men standing
>Try smacking him with my butstock to little affect
>Smash him against wall
>*Enemy tries grabbing sidearm*
>"Clear to access" *knife inserted into enemy's kneck*
>Switch to last remaining enemy smashing my mates face in with his helmet
>"Clear to access" *shoot him in back of head with sidearm*
>all is quiet on the eastern front


>tfw everyone requires real first aid after a training exercise...

>>34534587
Bahahah

>>34522395
>Never ping me or my son ever again

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>>34527475
Oh god, I've done over half of those.
What was I doing? Why did I do it?