>like in the actual navy
be a SEAL

or do something really retarded until you become a meme, like me, i get called fucksticks for a reason (this one applies for all branches though)

Someone has to give it to you. So I am going to give you the nickname Tito.

>>34382312
tell us what you did, Fucksticks

>>34382293
its like anything else in the navy. you either suck cock or be a good bottom and take it up your pooper.

isnt that why you joined the navy in the first place?

>>34382326
basically, i was so fucking bored, bored beyond belief, bored to the point that i grabbed three brooms, duct taped them to my crotch separately then went stroking them infront of the lads, until a two star general saw me and called me that name.

>>34382293
call signs aren't chosen they are given

>>34382293
>Cougar
Have a sexual preference for twinks
>Merlin
D&D character is a magic user?

anal.

>>34382434
>SORRY COMMAND, I WILL IGNORE YOU UNTIL YOU START CALLING ME WITH MY PREFERRED PRONOUNS

>>34382319
>>34382434
Yeah that's what I mean. How do I get given the name Cougar. Sounds so badass.

>>34382293
Call Signs/Nicknames generally are not self-chosen, but assigned by others. You adopt whatever is thrown your way.

>>34382492
this

you want a cool alias? do something cool

>>34382312
>>34382293
>>34382319
why not pay the guy who comes up with names to give you a cool names like

bribe or mc snake man

or solid snake or boss man

imagine having a call sing like bossman

boss man one calling runway for taxing

or bossman the man with the highest kill ocunt in all of us army

in the real military your call sign is a pre chosen word that starts with the same letter as your company (i.e Bison/B company) followed by number depending on your platoon, squad or however your unit tells you. The 1SG or Captain usually picks the name or just uses the same one for traditional reasons. The commander is always 6 and the NCOIC is always 7 (I.e Bison 7 is the 1SG of Bravo Company.)

I don't know what faggot squids do.

>>34382411
Well done Fucksticks. I didn't get a unit nickname but my 1st Sgt. used to call me "the Masterbater" because he caught me with a porno getting ready to watch it, but surprise, room inspection!

Example: Have to go report something to 1st Sgt, "Oh hey, it's Masterbater, what can I do for you masterbater"?

>>34382548
With that attitude the only name you'll get is "niggerfaggot"

>>34382461
>How do I get given the name Cougar.
Have sex with men half your age.

A combination of two separate words that are assigned an unclassified meaning
and employed for unclassified administration, morale or public information.
The first word must begin with the combination of letters of the alphabet allocated to the using agency.
The alphabetic letters allocated to NORAD and USNORTHCOM are located in
paragraph 3.3.4. The second
word has no restrictions, but must be de
conflicted with all other second term words within the
DOD component’s NICKA database.

Nicknames may be assigned to actual, real
-world events, projects, movement of forces
or exercise activities involving elements of information of any classification category. However, the relationship of the nickname and its meaning must be UNCLASSIFIED. A nickname is an identifier and is not designed to achieve a security objective.

http://www.northcom.mil/Portals/28/Documents/Code%20Words,%20Nicknames%20and%20Ex%20Terms%20(33-147).pdf

As expected, none of the children on /k/ know what it takes to get a real call sign. You get a name like "Hunter" by having over 200 confirmed kills in combat.

>>34382438
>D&D character is a magic user?
he was a wizard with the radar

>>34382626
when will you children stop stealing my name?

>>34382585
jokes on you i like nigger faggot

>>34382658
Gather round, everybody. This FAKER thinks he can pretend to be me on /k/. What a pathetic wannabe has-been LOSER, why don't you buzz off and let the big kids talk. I bet you never even served in the .mil

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>>34382585
MUST NOT
>Convey connotations offensive to U.S. allies or democratic, free world nations.
>Convey connotations offensive to good taste or derogatory to a particular group,
sect, or creed.

Black bundle would still be available i guess (implied -of sticks) so only your unit would know, but unit nicknames are informal so unles you are using itover radio, its no big deal

i have heard of people literally using sites like http://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/code-names.php to ge names

>>34382679
everyone knows I don't go on long winded rants you try hard

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>tfw my nickname is "band camp"

>>34382548
Try and you'll be "Flounder".

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>tfw I was Spiderman

>>34382720
Let me guess, you put something up your ass?

A buddy of mine was "tony hawk" because he tried skateboarding in the barracks

>>34382797

no, i just let it slip that i can play the trumpet and a few other instruments... then someone asked if i went to band camp when i was in school, then i got the name

>dads friend was in the Navy
>guy in the aviation pipeline with him wanted to be called "Lightning"
>was annoying
>tended to tell people things about aircraft they already knew
>had these big eyes
>he was given the name "Bug" by his fellow pilots and instructors, because he bugged them so much
>heads to the fleet with the call sign "Bug"

I got called "korbo" by some of my subordinates for some reason. They say it's because of my last name Wolf but I don't get it. You don't get cool nicknames.

>>34382293
lunchbox

>>34382293

Your call sign is now "is a faggot"

As in "op is a faggot"

>>34382827
>ywn be Bug flying a SuperBug

I was "Bad Andy". Andy is just a play on my last name, and well, I was bad.

>>34382887
NO! I want it to be Cougar. Tell me what I have to do to be COUGAR.

>>34382919

if you only bang cougars (lots of them), you could probably pull it off, you would need to tell everyone about you r cougar experiences , the worse they are, the more likely you are to be called cougar

alternatively, actually fuck with a cougar (the cat) an live to tell about it

>>34382461
If you ask for a cool name they give you a cool name.

>>34382957
>ywm never be that guy that hooks up with old chicks and brags about it
guy in my BNCOC hooked up with some older chick in Columbus GA at Memory Lane. She was some CSMs ex wife. I thing she was like 56?

>>34382957
There is an old screen cap from /an/ where I guy finger banged his captive cougar (cat). I wish I still had it to post since I am pretty sure the dude in the screen cap was also the /k/ommando from another screen cap of a guy hunting wild pigs with a cougar.

>>34382979

I had an NCO who apparently hooked up with some admirals wife when he was a lowly 18y/o right out of boot camp and got voluntold to go to some big officer party

He was retired but said somewhere out there, a flag officer still wants to kill him

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>>34383002

his name shall henceforth be /k/ougar

>>34383020
I would bet it's not the first time his wife fucked some Joe.

>>34382917
awe yeah baby I'll bet you were a real bad boy

>>34382585
Hey, that ain't half bad.

>>34382696
Go suck off an E-1, faker.

>>34382293

>Be a milfag
>Sergeant can't pronounce my last name
>Rahz, Razzchk, fuck it you're Razzle Dazzle
>At first hate the name, but now it's the best name of them all. Fun as fuck to say on the radio.

>>34383020
At least she didn't go and fuck Jody.

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>>34383051

>be an admiral
>throwing party for the gents
>whatsthis.jped
>this peasant enlisted has corrupted my dearest wifey
>obviously she is innocent in this matter, as i am a gentleman, which makes her a classy lady *tips officer hat
>i will stike him down him with my officer sword
>nothingpersonal.mp3

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>>34382411
Out-fucking-standing

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>inna TOC
>some dumbass poked his eye out the other day so now we have to wear eye protection indoors
>lost my clear inserts
>walking around in my gucci eyepro with black inserts feeling like a douche
>XO: "what the fuck is with the black glasses, anon?"
>"I don't have any clear inserts, Sir."
>XO rolls his eyes
>*later*
>XO points to me
>"Hey, Lady Gaga! We need you over here!"
>mfw it sticks
>mfw I'm a guy
And that's how you get your high speed callsign, OP.

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>>34382411
hahaha outstanding

a teammate of mine accidentally gave the Base Commander "the brain" in the gym locker room during an increasing escalating period of the penis showing game...

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>>34382293
Someone I knew said that during flight training his classmates all got together, made-up/got a list of callsigns, then everybody voted for what everyone else would be named.

>hfw they gave him "mimi"

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What if the enemy listen to your radio and know your call sign. Pic realted

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My nickname was Chinaman because surprise surprise I'm fucking Chinese.

>>34382293

Ask your mom.

All the ladies call me Wide Load

>>34383442
I think mission callsigns are different from personal callsigns.

>putting a PASGT helmet cover on a bucket and wearing it

>Bucket

Fapper.

>>34383466
They are. Nobody calls each other "cougar" or "maverick" on the radio, flight callsigns will be "Strike11" with each person in the flight being 12, 13, 14 and things like that. I think Navy they don't necessarily start with a 1 but can have callsigns with a 34, 35, 36, 37 for a flight instead of starting with a 31 for example.

Around the squadron though, your first name is your callsign and that's what everyone calls you unless you're an O-5 or above, depending on the O-5 in question (whether they are laid back and still act like another dude in the squadron or if they are tryhards demanding respect from everyone by being called Colonel.)

>>34382553
Platoons get callsigns though
>Every other platoon is "Roughnecks"

>>34383466
>>34383539

isn't the number following your call sign your tail number?

Radio callsigns follow a specific pattern, i think its the one >>34382623
posted.

unit/pilot callsign =/= unofficial nickname

>>34383539
VMA-542's was Lusty.

>>34382594
Kek!

This thread is reminding me of that episode of Seinfeld where George wants to be called "t-bone" at his work but another coworker stole it from him.

Just be happy you're not called Coca Cola

>>34382293
>How does one get a callsign like "Cougar" or "Merlin"?
>Like in the actual Navy.

It has something to do with your dick sucking skills. When you're a swabbie floating around WestPac for 8 months, squids turn to their bunkies for manly comfort and release. Those that can cum gargle and present manass with the greatest proficiency earn call signs.

>>34382449
This will one day become a reality

>>34383580
For civilian non-commercial, yes. Airlines are usually "Delta123" "United 456" etc and military fighters are usually something like "Shooter61" with flightmates having the same callsign but 62, 63, 64. Only people who use tail numbers for callsigns are civilian pilots just flying around.

In my job as a Vehicle Operator, we get personal callsigns to use over the radio whenever we're doing something on our own. But deployed, we use regular unit designations

For example: my personal callsign is Mallard. This was given to me because when I get angry I start to slur my words and end up sounding like Donald Duck
When I was deployed, my truck's callsign was Champion 34

Just be glad it isn't buttlips

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>>34383665

>tfw it already is, you can get charged with discrimination for calling someone by incorrect pronouns

GENDER IS WHAT YOU WANT TO BE

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>>34382919

ALLS YOU NEED TO DO

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>>34383685

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A buddy of mine got nicknamed Dewie. It stemmed from D.U.I. As in driving under the influence. We had a band session where we finished up and slammed stupid amounts of beer and shots. We were all set to crash at mine. He disappeared, we went out walking to find him.

He had ridden his motorbike about 50ft before falling off and falling asleep in the middle of the road. Must have been going slowly as he was unhurt. Quiet island roads meant nobody even noticed.

Another guy at school got nicknamed Mel because his head was shaped like a melon. Another called baldie because he had a thick head of hair.

I got the name Moonman (I know, this was over a decade ago) because I have a chickenpox scar on my cheek that apparently looks like a moon crater.

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>>34382411
You win... /k/ is over...

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>>34382411
>ywn be called a funny name by an actual General

In flight school right now, and so far all the instructors I've met have callsigns like Nacho, SHAD (she had a dick), Splash, etc.

Nothing "cool" like Apollo or Archer

Fruitsmoker
>be new at base. manning mg at the gate
>small shitty car barreling towards us
>give warning to stop
>doesn't stop
>panic, think to myself durka durka
>shoot the shit out of car, kill driver
>apparently he was a local fruit vendor who came by every day
>feel fuckin bad
>everyone hates me. Get fucked up nickname.

>>34384040
I bet he sold really decent fruit too.

Sold. Past tense.

>Cougar
Have sex with many men a lot younger than you.
>Merlin
Summon a dragon to rain fire upon your enemies and reclaim Britain.
Both pretty doable.

Well, my dad who was a RAF pilot when i was a wee baby got the callsign of cougar by wanting to fuck older women, soo

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>mfw i was called "private Panties in the foot"

Had a guy specifically rant to is his distaste for the name "sunshine" after watching that one "remember the titans" movie. Needless to say the entire platoon adopted his new name.

>>34384040
>fruitsmoker
>cause he smoked the local fruit vendor

Not gonna lie I fucken laughed pretty hard

>>34382411

Not as bad as the human torch, or just the torch. Guy got caught shoving Chen stick up his ass.

I got a nickname at work despite not being military related.

In no-guns Australia I mentioned I do shooting so I got the nickname Martin Bryant. It's funny when they call it over the radio and about ~200 other people hear it too.

>>34384194
>Summon dragon dildos to rain fire upon your enemy's buttholes and reclaim Britain.
ftfy

>>34384213
That's how it works everywhere, in any profession, at any level of society. If you visibly show distaste for a nickname, that is what everyone will call you from then on, because they know you hate it, and they think it's funny. And if you try to force a "cool" nickname for yourself, people are obligated to come up with the stupidest name possible, and call you that instead.

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>>34383456
>half white
>half pajeet
>mfw the nicknames are endless

>>34383199
I've heard a similar story but it took place 20 years ago so the name he got was George Michael. He said the worse bit was having someone tell him every other week that George Michael didn't sing "Sunglasses at Night".

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>Be me
>300 series inna Marines
>Iraq 2005
>Get into a firefight
>End up separated across an alley
>Lads dump fire across an alley
>Run across
>Dive last five feet
>Hands land directly in human shit
>CPL laughs at me
>"C'mon shithands, get back in the fight"
>Nickname ends up being Shithands Mike
>mfw

>>34383831
This post screams "Reddit"
Stop posting forever.

With the marines a while back. Nicknames lack the polished, high motivational power choices of pilot's call-signs, where an officer wants something that sounds cool on the radio and keeps people happy.

Ones I ran into..

Abu. Short for abuela. Guy was Mexican and I never really understood this one. He was rased by his grandmother and any time he told people to do something/stop doing something so they wouldn't die they'd act like he was a nagging old woman.

Wolf. Guy had a wolf tattoo. It was supposed to be busting his balls but I'm 100% sure he fucking loved being called that.

Doc. Every corpsman ever has had to deal with this name.

Big bones. Also called big, or bones. Before that he was Fat Swift, a nickname everyone loved, to tell him apart from the other Swift. An officer heard it and said that we can't call someone fat, and that he wasn't even that fat. Honestly the other Swift should have been "Skinny Swift" or "Nigger Swift" but I'm sure that second one would have been Frowned Upon too.

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>be me serving when Yu-Gi-Oh! was a thing
>skinny as fuck
>get called "Summoned Skull"

My older brother has always been a hungry skeleton and had fairly light skin

He joined the Navy and went subs. He was about a week into his very first patrol, when they had a movie night watching Das Boot.

It only took a couple of minutes before the Chief of the Boat noticed that my brother and Johann ("The Ghost") resemble each other. He paused the VHS player (that was in '98) looked at him

>You, new guy, whats your name
>Brother tells him
>Nah, your first name
>A...Andy, chief
>Aaah fuck that, you're Johann now

It took another few weeks until Johann became too long for the rest of the Crew and my brother, even more pale by then, got his official call sign "Ghost". Nothing glorious but I still like the story

We had a dude in our platoon

>first deployment 04 iraq
>Phantom Fury
>lotsa shooting
>he and parts of the platoon clearing something that used to be a mall or something
>dude looked round the corner, saw a "shadow" and began shooting
>Turned out that he saw his own shadow because someone behind him muzzle-swept him causing his light casting a shadow of him
>Will forever be known as Shadow

>>34383419
He must have a pretty expressive face, not many people can pull off "Alarmed looking neko girl" and turn into a water colored chinese cave painting on cue like that.

>>34382293
Cougar - he fucked OPs mom.

Merlin - by the time he fucked OPs mom, it was like a wizards sleeve...

>>34383020
Holy fuck, Jody enlisted?

I know that in Delta if your first name is rare enough it will 99% be your call sign.

>>34382293
In my platoon
Lofty - because he's a short arse
MILF Magnet - he fucked a former platoon members mum
Floppy & flaccid - had erectile dysfunction
Tommy Robinson junior - racist
Avril Lavigne - he was a sk8tr boi she said see you late boi, he wasn't good enought for her
Special K - Accidentally sniffed ketamine (his name begins with a K)
Ron Qaddaffi jeremy - Looks like these two had a child that they tried to abort and still lived

>>34382293
I have scoliosis so everybody called me Crooker or Crook. Also in my platoon was this Canadian dude that everybody called Moose well because he was fucking huge and a Canadian so it was pretty obvious.

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>>34383461
Are you that fat?!

>>34382293
First off you have shit taste anon.

But to answer your question, "Hollywood" callsigns are given to "unique individuals" (AKA VIPs, HVT etc.)

For you to get one within the Navy you'd have to be like, a POW that someone is trying to rescue or something like that.

>>34385485
They let cripples into the Canadian military? Figures

>>34385597
Who said anything about the Canadian military?

I got named Mowgli.

>>34382293
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzwY6jIwr2o

>>34382680
>Marine Corps tried to get Uriarte to dime that guy out

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>>34383539
Unless it's something cool, like "The Godfather."

>>34383612
>Gets nicknamed Koko instead because his boss spotted him flailing like a gorilla

>>34382293
I read that most pilot callsigns irl are usually in bad faith until they catch on.

>>34383769
thats a lion

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Cool callsigns don't happen, they're given for a fuckup or are a dig at your appearance or a play on your last name.

One guy in my squadron tried to give himself the callsign "Danger" because he regarded the one given, "Hoover" to be unprofessional. Went over like a lead balloon.

Hoover was due to his general tendency to suck up to instructors.

Last I heard it was trending towards FIFA for "Felates instructors for Fives"

>>34382293
>Cougar
Has a penchant for boning old ladies

>Merlin
Hit 40 and was still confirmed a virgin.

>>34386135
This. started getting called Rambo at my first unit for running out to shoot opfor half naked with just my vest and helmet.

My last unit was just a play off my last name, thankfully.

>>34382293
I got Eagle Eye, and Desk Hands. The nicknames kinda just happen and depend on who you're with and what you do.

>>34386413
my nickname is "stupid fuck" and sometimes "hey you"

>>34386135
My last name is Graves, would I get a cool callsign?

>>34386135
Air Force Blues has some great examples.

Ken "Barbie" Dahl - On first training flight got so lost in excitement he starting singing "Barbie Girl" over the radio.

Cpt. "Lawn" Dhart, an F-16 pilot.

>>34383105
its nothing personnel you shit stain

>>34386837
You sound like my dad.

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>>34387056

>>34384263
Honestly the ultimate plan is to find a nickname that you like that doesn't sound to overtly badass and convince people you don't want to be called that

>Hot Shit
>dumbfuck boot on shit burning duty
>dumped all his diesel can on one hole and lit it
>BOOM
>shit and small pieces of shrapnel gets everywhere, including him
>becomes MARSOC sniper two years later

we had a guy named Both-Ways. Jokingly asked people which direction they wiped their ass and this douche nugget said in the dumbest tone we've ever heard "nghhBoth Waaays"

I got named "Spam." It's a pretty stupid nickname without an interesting story but one syllable so it stuck.

>>34387208
Yeah, there are some pretty cool sounding call signs that people have. Most just have embarrassing back stories.

http://www.f-16.net/callsigns.html
Refer to all of the names on this site that sound cool to the uninitiated.

>>34387424
>"Nutsbe" Chaffin
kek

>>34382293
get a call sign like cougar you'd have to bag a lot of milfs
merlin you'd probably have to be a dnd fag

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>>34383753
>Tfw they're trying to shadow fix the armed services with the new fitness standards
>Tfw they aren't just setting a 10 pull-up minimum and calling it a day
>Mfw men end up drummed out of the service because they can't do a 6ft standing long jump
>Mfw women and faggots will probably still get a pass with the finalised fake exercises replacing push-ups, sit-ups, and pullups

>>34382805
Lol

This reminds me of the tale of Doublemint Dave and his offspring Mark the Mintman. The two most fearless oper8ators of all.

>>34382293
If I could choose my call-sign, I think I'd want to be crackers.

>>34382548
Dunno man, Kill O'Cunt, as you wrote in that last line, is pretty badass for a call sign.

>>34387845
Well you can't choose your call sign so I am going to call you Katniss

>>34387774
>Implying all the old calisthenics aren't complete bullshit that don't actually prove your strength or endurance
>A run in t-shirt and shorts proves you can handle a 15-mile ruck

>>34384284
Corey Hart would be a fine callsign. If only it worked out.

they call me Megamind, or iron chin depending on which gigantic part of my head they notice first

>>34382293
I had a nickname in shop class, if that counts.
'Irish', because my first name sounds irish or celtic.

>>34386135
>FIFA for "Felates instructors for Fives"
>Fellates
>instructors
>For
>Fives
Fiff?

>>34383769
Looks more like a Cougar Fucker to me

>>34383639

kek, jarhead spotted.